Monday, March 10, 2008

White People Dreadlocks

Are you white?

Do you have dreadlocks or are you thinking about growing dreadlocks?

Just say no to white people dreads!

The ultimate hairdo horror…ginger dreads!…

This public service hair announcement is brought to you by Infomaniac.



    I say M-O
    Mop Mop Mop Mop

    I say R-A
    R-A-G-G M-O-P-P
    Rag Mop

    Remember the Ames Brothers?
    Of course you do.

  2. DONN: This version?

    Or the singing sea serpent version?


  3. Dreadlocks remind me of cat turds. I have an arsehole who works for me who has 'em even though he's a whitey and ginger and it's against our company grooming policy. The twat gets around it though by claiming that he is rastafarian and is playing the religion card. He thinks he is clever and cool, getting one over on the man. Life is all about choices....


  4. Or the singing sea serpent version?

    Believe it or not, the Waring household has a copy of that very DVD. Mrs.W is a big Stan Freberg fan..

  5. EDDIE: Then Mrs. W. will know who Dishonest John is. Everyone thinks I'm talking about Snidely Whiplash when I describe the character but your Mrs. W. will know better.

    "Nya ha ha!".

  6. I don't really mind
    If it's on a person's head.
    But I sure do dread
    If it's below the navel instead!
    It'll look like the Predators
    And Aliens have bred!
    Flee for your lives,
    or you'll choke on it and be dead!

  7. I know who Dishonest John is. He's a twat. Worse than Snidely Whiplash and Sylvester Sneakly (a.k.a The Hooded Claw) put together. A true fiend.


    If nether regions are too hairy
    ‘Round those parts you will not tarry
    ‘Til Tatas trims it with her clippers
    Then the boys undo their zippers!

    EDDIE: At least the fiendish bastard didn’t have dreads.

  9. I should get dreads.

    But then again, that would end in my hair being pulled by the kids.

    I guess I will stick to the early 80's wigs with perms.

    Nothing like a big bushy do to jumpstart the morning.

    Imagine being in the ghetto with a perm. Bitches better not make fun of me!

  10. Yay ..... back but not first.
    I always wanted dreads but never had the guts.
    Now to catch up on 10 days of filth.
    Seeya later.

  11. A crusty student type once told me I would look great with dreads because my hair was "really wild".

    I was working as a clerical temp at the time. Would've given a great impression of the agency if I'd walked into a bank with dreads, wouldn't it? I mean, apart from the fact that I used to light up a spliff and sit cross legged on the floor and stare into space in the office anyway ...

  12. When Josh Wink developed his higher state of consciousness he shaved his off.

  13. Chant down and smite dem who worship Babylon!

    No pics of Mick Hucknell (simply red) during his disco rasta phase?

  14. SID and Piggy will never make it as white rastamen as they are baldies.

    White men with dreadlocks should be given a wide berth as they carry lice and will force you to smoke large spliffs and listen to the Grateful (or should that be Dreadful) Dead.

  15. AWA: Don’t you dare become Jerri Curl Woman.

    KAZ: Have a look at the comments in the “Women of Infomaniac” posting.

    NWT Runner thinks you’re hot but don’t get too excited as he’s also slobbering over Knudsen.

    BETTY: Spouting off about your “big bong” theory of the universe didn’t help either.

    GEOFF: Is it true that Josh Wink sold his dreadlocks on eBay?

    FROBI: Mick Hucknall?

    Simply Dread.

    GARFY: SID once forced me to smoke potato peelings and listen to Daniel O'Donnell.

    *considers Photoshopping SID in a rasta wig*

  16. Thanks for that MJ. You'll still never make a poet BITCH!

    Gillette razor all the way. Don't need clippers

  17. Ginger dreads are OK as long as they aren't in the beard.

  18. I'm pretty sure I dated the person in the last picture.

    dreds smell funny.

  19. TATAS: A team of topiary specialists has been hired to sort out your bush.

    TICKERS: No. Ginger. Dreads. Ever. Anywhere.

    Rinse and repeat.

    BOXER: I'm sure there's a 12-step programme to help you avoid making that mistake again.

  20. Dreads are not only fashion faux pas but they are also disgusting.

    Apparently, you don't wash your hair with shampoo and you treat the hair a special wax.

    Imagine that in your hair for years without a proper wash.


  21. yuk ....dreads on anyone , but even worse on a white middle class 'dude'

  22. CYBERDANE: Wax?

    Then the dirt should slide right off.

    BEAST: DREADful.

  23. You'd think so, wouldn't you.

    But no.

  24. we got guys in this town with em... funny thing is, they dont have jobs or "real jobs" anyway... and i wouldnt buy "anything" from a dude with white dreads... something about it just doesnt make sense... *thinks to self*
    i wonder where i could buy some overpriced fake drugs???
    then again we live in a bohemian town full of different folks... its all "one love here bro".

    *wipes thought out of head with gas soaked rag*

  25. CYBERDANE: Can you imagine how vexed I'd be if I saw Crocs and locks together?!

    VOICES: If you live where I think you live, then it's just one big hippy, er, happy family there, isn't it?

  26. You've given me an idea, thanks for that MJ

    I'll have much fun with the elf shorts now

  27. CYBERSLUT: Ackkk!

    Bad RastaDane Vibrations!

  28. Who on earth actually thought up the idea for dreads? Aren't they supposed to be filled with spiders as well to make them super authentic?

  29. T-BIRD: The origins of dreadlocks? I'm glad you asked.

    *pretends to do serious research at work*

    "The origin of dreadlocks is ancient. Dreadlocks can be traced back farther than the Rastafarians of Jamaica and are believed to have been worn in Biblical times. Ancient beliefs were developed in some areas that cutting the hair was unholy. The actual name "dreadlocks" is thought to have come from either the belief that the individual sporting these locks looked dreadful or possibly that the ancient holy men who prominently wore dreadlocks were to be feared or dreaded. Regardless of the history, dreadlocks have made their way into popular mainstream culture largely due to legendary reggae singer Bob Marley."

    As for the spiders...

    "Urban legend has a young man with dreadlocks leaving the barber shop prematurely because the barber was clipping into his scalp while giving him a haircut. Later, when he died, it was discovered that hordes of spiders had infested his hair and were continually biting him."

    Urban legend or not, that just proves that hairstyles can be hazardous. And fatal!

  30. bout time someone said it......cunts the lot of them

  31. Normally, I'd agree with you 100 percent. However, there's a cute little twinky boy on American Idol sporting dreads at the moment. He's my current favorite.

  32. MANUEL: Bad tippers...the lot of them.

    PEEVISH: The twinky is stinky.

  33. That was some serious research! I now consider myself enlightened in the gentle art of spiders and urban legenish.

  34. Oh fuck i'm laughing so hard

  35. QUCIFER: Welcome!

    Did that bastard Eddie Waring send you here?

  36. He didn't send me but I plan on being obnoxious and vulgar in your e-home as though he did

  37. QUCIFER: Remember to wipe your boots on the way out of here so you don't spread the filth onto other blogs.

  38. Why is it that dreadlocks seem to have such a negative stigma? I've heard many things about them: they're dirty, smell weird, you're not supposed to wash your hair to start them, they're messy...ignorant and just plain stupid comments. If you happened upon someone with dirty, smelly dreads, it's because that person isn't taking care of their hair. If they're messy, the person isn't putting forth the effort to make them look neat. If they're not washing it, they're dumb or afraid of soap and water -_-.
    It's also discriminatory when businesses say "no" to dreadlocks in their grooming policy; they might as well say they don't want bald people, or people who dye their hair.

  39. "Dreads are not only fashion faux pas but they are also disgusting."
    - Honest religious people,black or white, who have dreadlocks, are not concerned with your concept of fashion. It is also not disgusting, unless you're ignorant.

    "Apparently, you don't wash your hair with shampoo and you treat the hair a special wax."
    I've had them for four years. I'm white. I wash my hair every other day with a shampoo bar. I do not treat my hair with any kind of wax, gel, beeswax, bullshit, only simple thread to secure loose new hair and thats it.

    Your conception of dreadlocks is negative. It shows disregard for the religious, historical and cultural reasonings behind the hair style.

    This whole comment thread reeks of racism, stupidity, insanity, mythmaking, get a life.

    Oh, and before you go off on me, I'm a college student with a degree, I've held a job for five years, and I am a productive intelligent member of society.

  40. It's kind of sad that some people are so hideously obsessed with defining themselves by groups. They have to be part of this race, this religion, this subculture. Why can't we just define ourselves as individuals?
    I'm a white guy with dreads, but I don't wear them despite the fact I'm part of the fictitious "white race", or in an attempt to imitate the equally fictitious "black race". Nor do I wear them because I'm a rasta or a stoner, because I am neither. I wear them because I'm me, and my dreads are part of that.
    Isn't that enough?

  41. As usual, Eurocentric people are misinformed. First off let me tell you that dreads are not unsanitary. If you knew anything about hair and skin care you would know that there are a wide range of products that one can use to maintain their hygiene. Some of which I make myself. All the negative comments you make lets me know that you're ignorant or very smart. I hope that you're using this blog to call attention to issues and not just hosting a bunch of stupid people with stupid comments. Damn people did you receive any attention growing up? What about as an adult?
    Some of you need help. I feel bad for you. Here's a hug!

  42. You're a fucking idiot.
    Dreadlocks are clean, they get washed, and they're no different than normal hair. By telling people that it's not okay to have dreads because of race you're only propagating discrimination. Some people have dreadlocks because they like them, some people have dreadlocks because they have hair that's hard to deal with so that's the easiest way to keep their hair.
    I think you're just not comfortable with yourself and feel the need to hate on everyone. Go fuck yourself, cocksucker.

  43. Expresso bongo!

    Somebody who criticises you for the need to "hate on everyone" while telling you to "go fuck yourself"? Confusing, that.

  44. congratulations on furthering the pandemic of close-mindedness in the world today.
    God forbid someone might dress the way THEY want to.

  45. Speaking as a dread head myself, I would like to take this opportunity to thank every negative comment that has been said against anyone sporting dreadlocks. Why else do you think people get dreadlocks? It’s to piss off the narrow minded by wearing our hair as we like and guess what? You can’t stop us. That must really get to you, knowing there’s something you don’t like and can do fuck all to stop. There truly is nothing more satisfactory than walking pass some suited, coifed, wank stain of a human being, with my dreadlocks flowing in the breeze, watching their face contort into an expression of disgust, knowing that they cant stop me. Oh, and for the record people with dreadlocks do wash it and on a regular basis. It really just emphasise peoples misconceptions on a subject where they are woefully ignorant on. Once again, thank you tremendously to all who hate dreads, you’re the people we do it for.

  46. Wow, pwned by the dreadheads.

  47. i was readin this and just wanted to go off on all these dread haters... amazing how ignorant people still are today

  48. Dreadlocks allow us all to see who the fascists among us are. Get real people, it's only hair, so much for freedom in amerika.

  49. Actually dreadlocks are no different to anyone elses hair. For most of us "white people with dreads" we keep our hair very clean and don't use wax.

  50. Glad that people are defending dreads. Especially the rights of an employee to have them. I'm sorry to hear the employee hasn't sued that guy for discrimination for even mentioning "grooming policy". The employee shouldn't even have to say he has freedom of religion! Hope you get sued and the Rastafarian spends your cash lobbying for federal legalization of marijuana for everyone no matter what their religion.

  51. I think it's funny that the anti-dreadie, close minded, and generally hateful and/or ignorant comments are barely legible. A 4th grade English teacher wouldn't even pass this mess.

    Hmm. Methinks enough said. :)

  52. James: well said! that was the best comment I've ever read in defense of dreadlocks! Kudos!

    Eddie: you sound like a class A douchbag. Since when is not brushing your clean hair "against company grooming policy"? As long as he keeps it clean and out of the way, I don't see what the problem is. There are so many other ways to be disgusting in the workplace: you could be a fatass who doesn't take care of their body. you could have a chronic sweating problem and not wear deodorant. You could have boss has really bad breath! Gross! I might not brush my hair, but he doesn't brush his teeth! He's also a class A douchbag. Maybe you two should get together so that you can sit around and agree with eachother all day long. And one more thing: if you don't like this kids dreads, why did you hire him you stupid turd?!

    The truth is, dreads are CLEANER than normal hair. They are washed with a residue free shampoo and are less prone to lice. Make sure you do your research before you comment on a topic you know nothing about. Check yourself before you wreck yourself!

  53. wow, what a stupid fucking blog...obviously a lack of dreadlocks doesn't equal a lack of pretension--perhaps intelligence...hope you see my dreads would make my day to bother your sensitive eyeballs with may fashion crime!