Saturday, March 29, 2008

Gone Shopping

Is there anything I can get for you while I’m out?


  1. Yeay, firsties again!

    B&Q's equivalent of 'No More Nails', I think it's called, 'I Can't Believe It's Not No More Nails'.
    Condoms for the smaller gentlemen. I think they're called, 'Mates, But Not For Long'.

  2. An outfit just like the one you are wearing would be great! Thanks.

  3. Oh, and could you also get a present for Eric Idle? I want to ask him for Michael Palin's number, and want to sweeten the deal.

  4. something small but very expensive.....I am thinking Prada or Gucci maybe ???

  5. A pair of sparkly stilettos would be fabulous MJ, thanks!

    Or should I say Britney, when you go out without pants

  6. TICKERS: No More Nails?

    What is that?

    Are you doing a DIY project or having a manicure?

    T-BIRD: Eric wants Dame Edna’s phone number in exchange.

    MARKY: Try looking up your arse.

    You’ll find you already have a pair.

    BEAST: Do Prada or Gucci make stain remover?

    CYBERPOOF: Did you break a heel in the annual Stiletto Run?

  7. If you're going to the pound shop can you get me one of those furry toilet roll covers.
    I'm feeling kitsch today.

  8. KAZ: The pound shop?

    Over here we call it the Dollar Store or the Loonie Bin.

    Will this do?

  9. I'm going to need food supplies for me and the doggie, interracial porn, lube, antifreeze for the car and revlon's "cherries in the snow"

  10. Tamara Ruben, 25, from the town of Veenendaal, claimed first prize in the 380-yard race, running so smoothly you might think she was wearing sneakers.

    Asked how she would spend the money, she said: "Anything but high heels."

    -She should be ashamed!

    I need dishwashing soap too, could you pick me up some of that please?

  11. QUCIFER: Cherries?

    To replace your busted one?

    CYBERPOOF: I'm sure YOU can run backwards in stilettos.

    BOXER: Coffee:

    Check Inner Voices' enema bag from yesterday for leftovers.

  12. BOXER: I meant coffee with a question mark.

    I should take my own advice and use the "preview" button.

  13. You spoil me - can I have the Taz version as well?

  14. MJ: I meant FRESH coffee with an exclaimation mark.

  15. Before you run out, I thought you might like to know that there seems to be a run in your stocking! Don't want you to look less than ladylike while out doing errands...

  16. one wonders whether you would get back in one piece, so attired.

    chocolate, please!

  17. Of course I can. Are you kidding me?

    Did you enjoy your strut down the high street?

  18. Could you get me a man from the supermarket? Don't look at me like that - everyone knows the place to pick up a man is between the hobnobs and the instant coffee.

    Though I prefer mine rich, dark and steaming.

    Yes I am talking about the coffee.

  19. 20 fags, er sorry I mean cigarettes.

  20. Dame Edna's number? Consider it done, Possum!

  21. eggs! eggs, please! I love eggs! OH, eggs! eggs, eggs, eggs! boiled, fried or scrambled! I love eggs! hurry! oh, hurry, I need eggs! im HONGRY!

    barring that, some gouda. i wouldn't want you to strain anything.

  22. KAZ: That would be a teddy bear you’re looking for.

    BOXER: Picky.

    BINGOWINGS: Sing along with me and Cole Porter…

    In olden days, a glimpse of stocking
    was looked on as something shocking,
    Now heaven knows,
    anything goes.

    BITTERSWEET: I have just the thing for you…

    Chocolate body paint.

    CYBERPOOF: It was a long strut looking for your stilettos but I don’t know your size so you’re out of luck this time.

    KAPI & KNUDSEN: I think I can fill both your orders at the same shop.

    T-BIRD: Ta. She’s a glittering gigastar.

  23. FN: Hasn't that eggman come yet?

    The eggman! The eggman!

    l'll always need--want eggs,
    always and always and always.

    Miss FN, as long
    as there are chicken layin'...

    and truck drivin',
    and my feet walkin'...

    you can be sure...

    that l will bring you
    the finest of the fine...

    the largest of the large,
    and the whitest of the white.

    In other words...

    that thin-shelled ovum
    of the domestic fowl...

    will never be safe...

    as long as there
    are chicken layin'...

    and l'm alive
    because l am your eggman...

    and there ain't
    a better one in town.

  24. Coffee, danish, polish and a thong for you.

  25. MYTOES: You want me to pick up a Dane and a Pole for you?

  26. Sounds good. You've already got the good buns!