Saturday, March 22, 2008

Happy Birthday, IVD!

Inexplicable DeVice (IVD) reading his birthday mail and laughing at a recurring theme…"39 Again?”

He’s the witch we love the most

Multiple personalities

One is your Host

He’s witchy

He’s bitchy

His wand it is twitchy

His cock it is warty

He’s well over forty

Long-time Infomaniac readers know that IVD plies his trade down at the docks in Norwich, servicing sailors from all over the world.

You’re also aware that, as a result of an occupational hazard, he’s suffered a rare, strange skin condition on his todger, as seen here…

The good news? The horrible affliction has finally healed.

The bad news? It’s spread to his balls.

Oh I almost forgot. Here’s your pressie…

Have a happy one!

Note: Birthday greetings for IVD can also be seen over at T-Bird’s place.


  1. UGHHHH how am I supposed to have sex after that???!!!


    Never mind, i know I will

  2. Happy birthday IVD!

    Those photos are summthin'...

    And following QGirl again :-)

  3. Ewwww! Thank you. I think?

    I don't know what I'm more offended at: Those vile, VILE pictures or the totally untrue, exponential increase of my age?

    Just in case anyone believs MJ: I'M NOT WELL OVER 40! Well under 40, actually.

    Ummm... Thanks, MJ!

  4. Happy birthday IVD.

    Thank you for the vile pictures Miss MJ , made the breakfast sausage go down a treat

  5. Many happy returns to the ever youthful Mr Inter Uterine Device.

    Cauliflower cheese with spinach. Yummers!

  6. happy birthday IVD...and MJ you are just wrong for those pictures...wrong i tell ya!

  7. QUCIFER: I’m sure you’ll manage.

    NWT: You’re going to have to show her who’s boss and take the lead one of these days.

    IVD: You’re under 40?

    You’d never know it.

    May I suggest a good moisturizer? How about the Boy Butter I gave you last year?

    I see you’re swanning off for the weekend. Business? Or pleasure?

    BEAST: Did it make up for no Filthy Friday?

    BETTY: Post this pic in your kitchen to remind you to eat your veg.

    IUD…tee hee.

    DAISY: You said “wrong” twice.

    Two wrongs don’t make a right.

  8. Dials 999 ... disappears vomiting in ambulance.

  9. Why is it 999 over there and 911 here?

    Have you noticed that 999 is really 666 upside down?

  10. That is just about the grossest thing I've ever seen

    At least I know it doesn't look like that

    Happy twentythirteen IDV

  11. Happy birthday!

    I certainly hope those pics are not of our IDV! Yucky!

    Are those the sort of warts that can be frozen off with nitro?

  12. That's going to require some work on my part to get those pictures out of my head. It might take bleach.

  13. CYBERSLUT: Oh? And exactly how do you know it doesn’t look like that?

    T-BIRD: Duct tape is the only successful method of removal.

    BOXER: You’ve seen worse on Knudsen’s blog.

  14. Come on over to my blog

    I've made a special birthday letter to IDV

    I couldn't let such an occasion slip through my hands

  15. CYBERSLUT: I've just come from your blog and that's the funniest thing I've seen all day.

    Of course it's only just after 9 am here.

  16. Why thank you, it's all downhill from now darling!

    Oh by the way, you don't think IDV's had enough seamen already?

  17. I remember old I'veVD when I shipped into to Arbroath he was one of the older ones in his 40's pretending to be 20, sad really so I took pity on him and paid him £10 for a keel haul which was pretty substandard due to his sensitive gag reflex but its better than going into town fully loaded........... sorry about the warts happy birthday and have a ghey old time.

  18. Happy Birthday.....need a putty knife to scrape that thing? OUCH

  19. ew, ew, ew, ick, yuck, ew, ew!!!!!!!!

    Happy Birthday, IDV. Ew!

  20. Happy Birthday Old Sport..

    No more Knacker Jack shots.
    ooch ouch eech jeezuz!

  21. MJ - we can dial either 999, 911 or 112 over here.

    Not many people realise we can access the last two though, the fucking retards.

  22. CYBERSLUT: IVD can’t get enough and you know it.

    KNUDSEN: Are you the reason IVD walks with a limp?

    MYTOES: A chisel would be helpful as well.

    PEEVISH: Ew too?

    DONN: Is it MY fault he’s a hotbed of disease?

    PIGGY: Someone actually dialled 911 and asked, "What's the number for 911?"

    Fucking retards, indeed.

  23. Thanks everyone!

    Knudsen? I'll get you back one of these days...

  24. Those warts look like Rice Bubbles.