Showing posts with label High Maintenance Queen Competition. Show all posts
Showing posts with label High Maintenance Queen Competition. Show all posts

Thursday, December 10, 2009

High Maintenance Queen(s) Crowned!



Infomaniac is pleased to present the title of High Maintenance Queen to …

(drum roll, please)


JILL AND CYBERPETE!

After a hair-pulling, wig-snatching, back-biting and venom-spitting smackdown, Jill and CyberPete proved to be equally matched in the high maintenance department.



So they each win a fabulous sticky notes pad! …



Congratulations to the runners-up: First Nations, Michael Guy and Kevin.

Although Michael, it seems, has taken issue with his defeat and is emailing the officials and calling for an appeal as we speak …


With God as my witness that tiara should have been MINE!

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Jill vs CyberPete Smackdown!

It’s a tiebreaker, bitches!

Jill and CyberPete have tied in the battle for the High Maintenance Queen crown and now they must battle it out in a no holds barred smackdown!



This promises to be the bitchfight of the year, ladies and gentlemen!

Book NOW for your ringside seat as seating is limited.

Bring your own booze.

Free condoms and corndogs with price of admission.


Corndogs provided by runner-up Ms. Nations


Who will take home the crown?

Place your bets for Infomaniac’s next High Maintenance Queen.

Who is your money riding on?




Note: A big round of applause for our losers runners-up: Michael Guy and First Nations (tied for 1st runner-up) and Kevin (trailing toilet tissue from his heels as he attempts to catch up to Michael and Ms. Nations.)

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Vote for the High Maintenance Queen

Mistress MJ has chosen the final five contestants for Infomaniac's High Maintenance Queen.



Please select one Queen from the following list:

Note: You cannot vote for yourself!


KEVIN:

How dare you imply that I'm high maintenance. I'm not high maintenance, I just like attention, Goddammit. GAH!
I'm so tired of everyone saying I'm high maintenance. Why is it my fault that I know exactly what I want? GAH!
It's such an insult to be branded high maintenance. And of you don't know why, I'm certainly not going to tell you!
I mean, how could you not know.
GAH!


CYBERPETE:

I just don't understand why everything has to end up with drama and tears. I thought you'd know by now, that I refuse to eat unpeeled grapes and brown m&m's.
I mean, IS THAT REALLY SO F*CKING DIFiCULT TO REMEMBER?
Where do you find these no talent bitches! I said breakfast at 7.00, and now it's 7.13. I don't want anything to do with this anymore, I'm going. Goodbye!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
And somebody find my shoes! I need my Choo's!
And where's my water. I can only have the kind with the electrolytes!
Is someone smoking? I can't have anyone smoking within a radius of 500 meters of me! Someone get that man out of here.
What's this? What's happening? Your outfit is so loud the penguins can hear it screaming on the south pole.
You are so full of drama, I need to lay down for a while!
No, no! White silk sheets, not eggshell! I don't do eggshell.
You lot are doing my head in!
Beastie how very dare you use my name!
*aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh*
*faints*
I need Bollinger and Godiva. NOW!
How very dare you Roses!
Now fetch me a cocktail, stat!
A glass of red would be lovel.. *aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!*
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T MIX COCKTAILS!?!
I *NEED* a gin martini!


JILL:

Get Hard...now!


FIRST NATIONS:

I thought about entering this for maybe one second before I decided not to associate myself with anything so declasse'. Me? I mean, really, me? I mean this blog is tacky. Look at this blog. The color scheme simply screams 'catatonia'. And whats that horrible smell IS THAT YOU? WHO'S WEARING OLD SPICE? OH MY GOD IS THAT OLD SPICE? I SMELL LIME! Sweet sainted mother of Kylie Minogue *takes out purse-sized Febreeze and brandishes it about like a fire extinguisher* Hello, indoor air pollution anybody? Oh pissbiscuits; does anyone have a Benadryl? Oh wonderful now I'm getting HIVES look at my arms I'm getting HIVES OH NOW MY LIFE IS TOTALLY COMPLETE I HAVE HIVES OH GREAT! JUST GREAT! Well I'm ready for my closeup now aren't I? I can feel my throat swelling shut I swear to God COME ON WITH THE BENADRYL PEOPLE; I KNOW SOMEONE HAS SOME heaven knows you're all ready to whip out the poppers and condoms at a moments notice in this sinkhole COME ON, AND A BOTTLED WATER TOO PLEASE no I do not want a glass of water, is that TAP WATER? HELLO? CANADIAN TAP WATER? REALLY? REALLY????? *slaps glass out of houseboy's hand and collapses into tears* Nobody worry about me! I'll just find myself a dirty old corner and curl up and suffocate to death on department store aftershave fumes, don't mind me! *snif* just lay me out right here on the downmarket berber OH LORDY WHAT IN THE NAME OF GUMBY AND POKEY IS UP WITH THIS CARPET? Is this a color found in nature? Do you raise puppies? What is this color? We need to talk about this color. Well we would except my trachea is closing. COULD WE SNAP IT UP WITH THE BENADRYL LADIES? AND A CASCADE SPRINGS? And a slice of lemon?


MICHAEL GUY:

I'd really like to participate in your quaint contest but I don't like to keep Soo Yee waiting at the nail bar...




Who will you choose as Infomaniac’s High Maintenance Queen?

VOTE NOW!

A winner will be announced sometime on Wednesday.

Monday, December 07, 2009

High Maintenance Queen Competition

Yay! Another contest!

Here’s your chance to win this sticky notes pad …


High maintenance doesn’t begin to cover it


All you have to do is tell us why you are a high maintenance bitch.

Mistress MJ will post her TOP FIVE favourite entries on Tuesday and you will be asked to vote on your fave.

This will not be easy since you’re ALL high maintenance in my opinion.

Get your entry in before 8:00 p.m. PST (Pacific Standard Time) on Monday, December 7th.

Use this handy World Clock to find out what time that is in your neck of the woods.

Good luck, bitches!