Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Crimes Against Cheese

If you need a reason to avoid deep-fried fast food or McDonald's or Wisconsin, look no further.

Shitting Gold Bricks

A Royal Canadian Mint employee is guilty of smuggling 22 gold nuggets called "pucks" in his rectum over a period of several months.

The gold pucks are “about the diameter of an Oreo cookie, and about two-and-a-half times as thick.

The pucks are worth a total of $165,000 Cdn.

The thief set off the metal detector more than other employees. Each time it happened, he was given a manual search with a hand-held wand. He passed the search every time. Apparently, the handheld detectors are less sensitive than the walk-through detectors and do not detect metal in body cavities.

Ontario Court Justice, Peter Doody said of the thief:
"His locker contained Vaseline and latex gloves, which could have been used to insert a puck into his rectum."
He added that there were no cameras in the locker room. Since the arrest, security measures have been upgraded at the facility.

Note: We here at Infomaniac do not recommend using your rectum as a carryall.

Monday, November 28, 2016

Tied Up


Back soon, Bitches. The Mistress has work to do.

NOTE: If you find yourselves at loose ends today, go on over and wish our Savannah a happy 10th blogging anniversary.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Sticky Fingers

This summer, in what may be the most Canadian crime ever, a storage facility near Montreal's Trudeau Airport was robbed of 20,000 litres of maple syrup.

This isn't the first crime of its kind in Canada. The Great Maple Syrup Heist of 2012 saw $18,000,000-worth of maple syrup stolen. Police recovered only about 70 per cent of the stolen syrup and say some syrup may have gone to the U.S.


This just in...

Police have uncovered $30,000 worth of stolen Nutella as part of a major investigation into a crime syndicate linked to drug trafficking, car theft and a kidnapping plot in Canada.


An entire truckload of Nutella was discovered in a Canadian warehouse along with about $5 million of stolen goods, including luxury cars, car parts, e-cigarettes and alcohol, as well as drugs and weapons.

Arrests have been made.

Note: We hope this breaking news item has distracted you from that other thing that's being discussed in Canada right now.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Remote Control Revolution

1955: Eugene J. Polley invented the first wireless TV remote control:  
The Flash-Matic.

Mr. Polley with his Flash-Matic.

This ray-gun remote control came on the market just as television sets were becoming popular in North American households.

Mr. Polley's invention wasn't the first TV remote control. In 1950, Zenith released the Lazy Bones, a device tethered to the television by a long cord. The Lazy Bones allowed viewers to change channels and turn the set on and off from their seats, but the cord proved dangerous and inelegant.

The Flash-Matic used a light beam to send signals to four receptors in the corners of the TV set. The top corners received signals to change channels; the bottom corners received signals to mute or turn off the set.

The Flash-Matic was not without problems. People couldn't remember which corner of the screen controlled what. And worse...the light sensors sometimes mistook changes in light, including sunsets and ill-placed floor lamps, for commands. 

“Absolutely harmless to humans!” Flash-Matic advertisements promised. “You can even shut off annoying commercials while the picture remains on the screen!”

Looking back on his invention, Mr. Polley had mixed emotions...

It makes me think maybe my life wasn’t wasted. Maybe I did something for humanity — like the guy who invented the flush toilet.

Everything has to be done remotely now or forget it. Nobody wants to get off their fat and flabby to control these electronic devices.

2016: The Mistress test-drives the Flash-Matic and discovers she can make cocktails magically appear...

Anyone care to join me?

Friday, November 25, 2016

The Last Waltz

40 years ago today...


On November 25th, 1976, THE BAND gave a spectacular farewell performance at the Winterland Ballroom in San Francisco.

The Band were four Canadians and an American who developed their own unique sound.

Left to right: Levon Helm, Garth Hudson, Robbie Robertson, Rick Danko and Richard Manuel.

The Band invited a few of their friends to perform along with them at their final farewell. Friends such as:

Bob Dylan
Eric Clapton
Van Morrison
Neil Young
Joni Mitchell
Muddy Waters
Ronnie Hawkins
Dr. John
... and more.

Captured on film by Martin Scorsese and released in 1978, The Last Waltz is The Mistress's favourite concert film.


What's your fave concert film, Bitches?

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Happy Thanksgiving, American Bitches

We here at Infomaniac wish you well in dealing with your Trump-voting relatives 'round the dinner table this Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Ten Inches

I'm getting a good 10 inches, Sunday through Monday.

25 centimetres equals about 10 inches.

The Mistress will have to fire up The MistressMobile at an ungawdly hour to get to work. Catch you later, Bitches.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

I'm in a Phone Booth, Baby

When was the last time you used a pay phone? Or a pay phone in a phone booth?

Friday, November 18, 2016

Filthy Friday

How did your week measure up, Bitches?

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Yes, We Have No Bananas

Earlier this year, the Chinese government banned erotic "banana-eating" on live-stream Internet.

New regulations mean that live-streaming sites must monitor all their output round-the-clock to ensure nothing untoward is going on, keeping an eye out for any "erotic" banana-eating.

More details here.

No mention was made of where the Chinese officials stand on cake.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Shut Up and Drive

The MistressMobile is back on the road...


Does anyone need a lift?

Monday, November 14, 2016

Hot Nuts

The Mistress returns on Tuesday. In the meantime, help yourself to some hot nuts at the Infomaniac Cocktail Lounge...

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Supermoon - Coming Soon to a Sky Near You!

On the night of Sunday, November 13, the closest full moon since 1948 will appear in the sky.

They say if you’re below retirement age, you’ll never have seen it so big or so bright.

NASA has dubbed it an “extra-supermoon” because of its proximity to the Earth, and due to the fact it won’t appear again until until 2034.

Since another full moon this close and this large in the sky will not be seen for another 18 years, we here at Infomaniac encourage you to get out and see it for yourself, weather and clear skies permitting.

Note: The Mistress is neither an astronomer nor a scientist so for more information, click here.

Saturday, November 12, 2016


Another typical Infomaniac weekend is underway...

Here's lookin' atcha, Bitches.

Friday, November 11, 2016

Leonard Cohen Recites "In Flanders Fields"

 “In Flanders Fields” by iconic Canadian poet, Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD, recited by another iconic Canadian poet, Leonard Cohen (1934-2016.)

A Day of Remembrance

In keeping with Infomaniac’s humble beginnings as a knitting blog, and with a nod to The 2016 Infomaniac Book Challenge, we remember the soldiers of the First World War (1914-1918) with this book…

Knitting for Tommy: Keeping the Great War Soldier Warm” by Lucinda Gosling, published 2014 by The History Press.

“Tommy” was the name commonly ascribed to British Soldiers.

During World War 1, a knitting craze swept across Britain, as women everywhere wanted to "kit out" their Tommies with socks, mittens, balaclavas, vests, jumpers, and all manner of knitwear.

Millions of socks, for example, were sent from the home front to the front line. Dry socks were imperative to avoid the painful and debilitating condition known as trench foot.

Don'ts to Remember When Making Socks:
Don't forget that a man may not have a chance to change his socks for many days, and a lump or a knot can cause a blister. If the blister breaks, blood-poisoning may result in the loss of a foot or even a life. We cannot afford to lose our men through negligence or ignorance.

Through magazine adverts, postcards, cartoons and photographs of the day, and 40 patterns for all manner of clothing, the book explores the knitting craze that started in Britain and swept through Canada and the United States. The author mentions a similar enthusiasm for knitting in Germany, pointing out that “across the warring nations, and regardless of race, it seemed that knitting was a universal language.

(click pic to enlarge)

A more detailed review of this book can be found here.

We here at Infomaniac hope you will make time today to remember our fallen war heroes.

Wednesday, November 09, 2016

Rise Up, Bitches

Half of a nation is devastated and The Mistress grieves with you, American Bitches.

What to do about that grief? Feel it and then heal it.

Connect with friends, family or colleagues who feel the same way you do. That's approximately HALF the country. You are NOT alone. Support each other.

Turn away from the news for awhile and give yourself a break.

Then.... get back up. That's right. Rise up, American Bitches!

Find a cause you believe in, whether it's at a local, state, or national level. Give your time and/or money to an organization that needs you. Volunteer to make your country a better place because you are NEEDED.

For those of you thinking Canada is a better option, let The Mistress remind you that it wasn't that long ago that this guy was the Mayor of Toronto. And Canada has this guy too. So as you can see, the grass isn't necessarily greener north of the border.

So take time to heal, then rise up and remember...


Tuesday, November 08, 2016

Wake Me Up When It's Over

Or not, depending on the outcome.

Bitches, some of us have to get up very early to work.

Let me know if I should wake up in the morning or not.

Do the Right Thing, Bitches

As a Canadian, The Mistress has no say and no vote.

So take it from our American friend, COOKIE.

On Tuesday, November 8th, do the right thing, American Bitches.

Saturday, November 05, 2016

The 2016 Infomaniac Book Challenge: Your September-October Choices

It's time for you Bitches to have your say.

Tell us what you've been reading during the months of September and October for The 2016 Infomaniac Book Challenge.

Thursday, November 03, 2016

The Mistress's Reading List: September-October

The Mistress read 7 books during the months of September and October.


On SATURDAY, you Bitches will have your turn to tell us what you've been reading during the months of SEPTEMBER & OCTOBER for The 2016 Infomaniac Book Challenge.

TODAY, we look at the Mistress's list of books for September and October. Links to summaries are included in the titles as The Mistress was too lazy to write her own reviews.


Seinfeldia: How a Show about Nothing Changed Everything by Jennifer Keishin Armstrong (published 2016)...

A Square Meal: A Culinary History of the Great Depression by Jane Ziegelman and Andrew Coe (published 2016)...

Wasting Time on the Internet by Kenneth Goldsmith (published 2016)...

A Field Guide to Lies: Critical Thinking in the Information Age by Daniel Levitin (published 2016)...

Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen (published 2016)...


The Altogether Unexpected Disappearance of Atticus Craftsman by Mamen Sánchez, translated by Lucy Greaves (published 2016)...

Mothering Sunday by Graham Swift...

I hear you asking, "But Mistress. You were sick in bed for 2 weeks. Why didn't you read more books?" The Mistress read mostly magazines during those 2 weeks, that's why.

And as you noticed from the photo in the previous post, there is something to be said for reading magazines.

Tuesday, November 01, 2016

Keep Your Shirts On

I'm sure you've all been reading ...


... in preparation for the September-October installment of The 2016 Infomaniac Book Challenge.

However, The Mistress is behind schedule and isn't ready to post just quite yet.

Keep your shirts on.