How Do You Poop?

In a previous post, describing her toilet tank lid, Mitzi said, "Mine has a push button centrepiece with dual flush so it's clutter free, except for the occasional spare toilet roll, which is a good thing really, because when I'm feeling a bit worse for wear or dealing with a difficult boulder, I like to sit facing the cistern."


(click pic to enlarge)

What about the rest of you Bitches...

Which image best illustrates how you poop?

Divine Decadence

News of Norma's baking skills spreads far and wide.

Divine stops by to sample Norma's chocolate mousse recipe...

Remembering Piggy...With The Bristol Stool Scale

“I'll have you lot know that my poo's are slender and sleek, smell of Calvin Klein 1 and are carried down gently into the toilet water by dainty little butterflies.”
- Piggy

In memory of our beloved friend Piggy, Infomaniac presents The Bristol Stool Scale.

The Bristol stool scale or Bristol stool chart is a medical aid designed to classify the form of human faeces into seven categories. Types 1 and 2 indicate constipation, with 3 and 4 being the "ideal stools" especially the latter, as they are the easiest to pass, and 5-7 being further tending towards diarrhoea or urgency.

It was, in fact, Piggy who introduced us all to the chart and reported daily on the state of his stool.

Why not use it yourselves, Bitches?

Mistress MJ misses you terribly, Piggy, but your stool scale, like your arse, will live on here at Infomaniac.

Perv of the Day

Welcome to another edition of Perv of the Day.

Infomaniac will, from time to time, seek out the perviest perverts and parade them pantless in front of you, the judge and jury.




THE PERV: David Truscott, 40, of of Redruth, Cornwall, England.

THE PLACE: A farm in Camborne, Cornwall.




THE PERVERSION: Manure fetish.

Truscott broke into a farm, covered himself in manure and was seen masturbating.

He climbed into the manure spreader vehicle - and was found wearing shiny red shorts, rubber gloves and playing in the slurry for "sexual reasons".

The court heard he’s regularly visited this farm for some five years.

The farmer first became suspicious that something odd was going on when he found a water trough filled with manure and tissues scattered around.

The farmer then saw the shape of what appeared to be someone’s bottom and two hand prints where manure had been piled up.

On one occasion a milking parlour had been entered and Truscott had stripped down to his underpants and climbed into a huge vat of manure.

Police who searched Truscott's home found 360 pairs of women's knickers and containers of liquid sludge and hard mud.

Truscott told the officers that he liked to sleep in women’s pyjamas.





THE PUNISHMENT: Charged with breaching the terms of a restraining order and jailed for 20 weeks.

Thanks to Yorkshire’s biggest poofs, Tazzy and Piggy for bringing this story to our attention.

The Amazing Turd Twister!

If you enjoyed sculpting with Play-Doh, you’ll love The Turd Twister.

Fits comfortably. Just insert the extruder ring between yer butt cheeks (not up yer arse!) and wait for nature to take its course.

Use one of the many templates to create exciting excremental designs. For example…


SID might like this one…





And here’s one for Tazzy and Piggy…




The Turd Twister Starter Kit includes a plastic trimming knife and a Safe-T-Floss™ Retraction Cord if you end up like one of the poor sods in yesterday’s posting.


Dishwasher safe.

Order yours today.

Customers who bought this item also bought Stinky Steve, who's been having trouble coaxing out a stubborn poo.

Pooper Scooper Barbie

You thought Barbie was all about ball gowns, high heels and dream houses.

But even tiara-toting glamour girls must be responsible citizens and clean up after their pooches.

Barbie feeds her dog Tanner a biscuit which looks remarkably like a turd. Tanner then poops out the bikkie and Barbie cleans up the resulting muck with her magnetic pooper scooper. View video clip here…

And there’s African American Pooper Scooper Barbie too whose dog, oddly enough, is darker than Caucasian Barbie’s dog…






Ken is notably absent from the scene. That philandering fruitcake must be out cruising.

Caption This!

Make Your Own Dung Jars

Looking for a fun home science experiment? Make your own dung jar!

Watch as Pilobolus, a beautiful, jewel-like fungus develops in a few days on lumps of horse manure.

Be sure to keep a record of your dung jar.

e.g. Day One: I began my dung jar using a "horse apple" fresh from the horse today. I placed it in a pint jar on some paper towel with just enough water to wet the towel. Manure is green-black.

Bird Diapers

FlightSuits are soft, stretchy, reusable diapers for birds.

Built-in “poop pouches” keep the bird poop away from your bird and away from you and your furniture.

Poop Happens

Over at A Long Way From Om, Ginny discusses her reluctance to pick up the “doggie bombs” on her lawn.

Ginny needs a company like A-1 Pooper Scoopin’.

You might say it’s a crap job. Diane Blanchard is a professional pooper-scooper. She makes a living picking up after people’s pets.

The snow in Calgary, Alberta can really pile up so Diane has her work cut out for her. But she has an eye for excrement and can spot a frozen "poopsicle" even under a blanket of snow.

Diane guarantees her work. If she misses a doggy deposit in your yard, she’ll return to pick it up. She’s number 1 in the number 2 business.

So if you’re sick of patrolling your pooch’s poop, see if there’s a poop scooping service in your area. Look in the Yellow Pages under ‘Pet Care Services.’

In other dog poop developments, Make Your Own Dog Waste Composter.



"Dog-dooly" dog waste composter