Thursday, March 13, 2008

Take a Lesbian to Lunch

Today is “Take a Lesbian to Lunch Day.”

Let us know how you get on.


  1. Mmmmmmm - good idea MJ!

    Gotta go through my little black book now looking for lesbians....

  2. and what shall we have
    Fish Pie ????
    Fish Fingers????

  3. Take a lesbian to lunch? Are you out of your mind?!?
    Where, apart from a dirty, filthy trucker's cafe, would one be able to entertain a female Geoff Capes complete with the fighting and furniture smashing?
    Certainly not somewhere that I'd frequent.

  4. Leezers can sure eat, I hear they like to munch on rugs.

    Why would I pay for a meal for a woman and not get any sex out of it?

  5. You hoping for a lunch invite then MJ?

  6. But (obviously) I'm the femmme type so I'm waiting for a butch type to take me to lunch.
    Perhaps I'll pop over to Hebden Bridge and wait for an offer.

  7. the demands you continually put on i have to take a someone to i will have to "have a nice day"...where does the madness end?

  8. I hear that lesbians are nice on toast with gherkins and a splash of Tabasco.

  9. NWT: And what if they all say they’re having “Nunavut”?

    BEAST: Fish taco.

    IVD: Isn’t there a canteen down at the docks where you take you sailor “friends”?

    KNUDSEN: Carpet munchers get more fibre in their diet, that’s for sure.

    CONNIE: Get back to work.

    KAZ: You can’t throw a stone without hitting a lesbian in Hebden Bridge.

    DAISY: I’ll send you my CD.

    Listen to the subliminal messages while you sleep and soon you’ll be mine, all mine.

    *maniacal laff*

    GEOFF: I’m assuming it was Mr. Mutley’s choice of beer: Old Lesbian No.6 - "a delicious beetroot-coloured ale fermented on the thighs of dusky Cuban maidens."

    Mutley says “it is made entirely at the St Colostomy Brewery in downtown Redruth.”

    GARFY: Use those gherkins, or “cornichons” if you’re feeling Continental, to make a rémoulade which you’ll find is a tasty accompaniment to seafood dishes.

  10. Although you can't throw a bowl of tomato soup in any direction in Pontnewynydd without violating a lesbian, I have to say, I've never taken one out to lunch. Should I and why?

  11. Only one? I think we'll go for oysters.

  12. TICKERS: Don't ask questions. Just do it.

    Have you learned nothing during your visits here?

    PEEVISH: Help yourself to the bearded clams.

  13. I have on many occasions but only for hotdogs and an ice cream cone..
    which I prefer to watch being consumed for some reason and I might add, the irony is not lost on my guest either.

  14. DONN: You should see FN eat a corn dog.

  15. well the books shoes that they both smoke and wear red lipstick... shall we go to the strip club then? i hear the have a great burger!

  16. Only if the lesbian takes me out next week.

    I could be in with a shout if she's a Lesbian (i.e. from Lesbos)

  17. VOICES: Or you could all picnic up on your skylight.

    BILLY: She'll get you sozzled on Pramnian Lesbian wine.

  18. I'd rather not

    I can't help but worry that one could catch it

    Oh the horror!

  19. hmmm... i could mount a nice poll on which to hold onto atop the sky light... any takers? mj needs a dance partner...

  20. I have eaten mousaka in the exact place that Sapho Queen of the Lesbians landed with an unpleasant splat after throwing herself from the cliffs of vaissiliki for un requited love......does that count ???

  21. CYBERPOOF: You are much too gurly to ever have to worry about that, dear.

    VOICES: We don’t have any nice Poles who visit this blog.

    Oh wait. There’s Tony in Hebden Bridge but I’m not sure he’d want you to mount him.

    BEAST: It only counts if you were wearing Birkenstocks at the time and listening to The Best of Melissa Etheridge.

  22. I'm having sushi for lunch. Does that count?

  23. BOXER: It only counts if you were wearing Knudsen's cap while you ate it.

    Like THAT'll ever happen!

    KNUDSEN: Will you provide the special sauce?

    Boxer will give you a bite of her tuna roll if you let her wear your cap.

  24. Then point me to the nearest lesbienne

    lesbiennes love me

  25. well, no lesbian lunch for me then... does anybody want a bite of my lickalottapuss sandwich? i'll be up on the roof.

  26. mean. so mean. A girl can dream. But I don't have to work that hard for it... I just need to wait for him to croak.

  27. *sigh* I'm broke and sadly can't take any lesbians out to lunch. Can I just take a packed lunch and we can eat it together?

  28. CYBERPOOF: They just want you for your gayer cake.

    VOICES: Knudsen might want a bite of your kebab.

    BOXER: One of his 125 grandchildren will inherit the cap.

    Maybe he’ll adopt you.

    T-BIRD: Haven’t you learned by now that there’s no such thing as a free lunch?

  29. yeah but book in advance......

  30. I'm dining out on my Golden Blog Award this weekend I shall do lesbian lunch next week, are you busy then MJ sweetheart

  31. All our Human Resources staff were in a training class so I duct taped my dick between my legs and went to McDonalds for a Filet 'o' was a treat.

  32. VOICES: You’ll have to get into the ring with Boxer.

    MANUEL: At least they won’t show any interest in your sugarloaf.

    ELLIE: We’ll arrange something privately away from Knudsen’s prying eyes.

    I don’t mind him watching us eat out but it’s the tea brewing for him later that vexes me so.

    EDDIE: Is there nothing duct tape can't do?

    I hope you shaved first or it’s going to hurt like a bitch getting it off.

  33. Can I take them out next Friday instead? When the Pope says it's appropriate to eat fish and not meat?

  34. ALL: I am free for lunches, dinners, etc.

  35. BINGOWINGS: Oh goodness I forgot to tell you that YES, you can.

    GOBETTY: NOW you tell us!