Wednesday, January 09, 2013

World Domination Tour

Those of you Bitches with no memory loss (this narrows the field) may recall when Mistress MJ set out on phase one of her World Domination Tour back in 2010.


Phase two of the World Domination Tour is now underway.

Mistress MJ is stepping out but will return soon.

The Vodka Fountain, Gincuzzi and the Beer Fridge remain in operation during her absence.

Monday, January 07, 2013

The Infomaniac Dancers

Ladies and Gentlemen, THE INFOMANIAC DANCERS!




Mr. Blobby

Infomaniac welcomes Mr. Blobby...

No, not this Mr. Blobby.

Our Mr. Blobby is a inedible, bottom-dwelling fish living off the coast of Australia.

Mr. Blobby faces extinction due to getting trapped in the nets of overfishing trawler fishermen.

We here at Infomaniac hope that something can be done to protect Mr. Blobby. So far, this gift card is all we've found although we're sure there must be a blobfish conservation society out there somewhere.

We don't know whether Mr. Blobby will use the gift card in a campaign "for 40 percent of the world’s oceans to be designated as marine reserves. Acting like underwater national parks, these no fishing areas will enable oceans to recover and protect all species of sea creatures, including the blob fish" or whether he'll blow it all on a facelift.

We simply hope that we can turn that frown upside down.

Sunday, January 06, 2013

Public Service Announcement #17

We are aware that a number of you suffer from flatulence.

Infomaniac, as usual, is here to help you…

Source: The Complete Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Please consult with our health inspector, Margaret, should you have any questions or concerns.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Friday, January 04, 2013

Beautiful People: "Perhaps the gayest sitcom ever"

You probably know about Simon Doonan : author, fashion commentator, and creative ambassador for Barneys New York...

But did you know there’s a BBC TV series (Beautiful People) based on his memoirs ?

This show wasn’t even on my radar until British Jon mentioned it in this post. The same post in which Jon describes his meeting with the talented Jonathan Harvey: writer of Beautiful People and so much more.

And Mitzi posted this comment on my blog, leaving me to wonder WTF she was talking about…until I saw the show, that is…

Gin Gin where do I begin
Having you inside me
Is like an old friend popping in.

--Debbie Doonan, Beautiful People.

I'm sure many of you can identify with that sentiment.

Thanks to our Mitzi for kindly sending Series One to me on DVD along with the soundtrack CD. I’ve since gone on to watch Series Two and now I want YOU Bitches to see it because I think you’ll enjoy it too. Mistress MJ was hooked from the first episode!

The show focuses on flamboyant 14-year-old Simon and his best friend Kyle (who prefers to be called Kylie); dreaming of the day they’ll escape the dreary suburbs of Reading, England and move to London to live amongst “the Beautiful People.”

Kylie and Simon

So if you Bitches need a pick-me-up on these dark winter nights, give “Beautiful People” a go.

Key word: CAMP!

Here’s the first episode from Season One. If you enjoy it, you can click here to see all the episodes from both series.

If you'd like to read a much more descriptive piece on Beautiful People, I found this post on Jon's blog.

Thank you Jon and Mitzi!

Checking in With the Kitchen Queens

No doubt you're wondering what's happened to our Kitchen Queens since the Kitchen Queen Contest.


Jealous of her Salty Ding Dong, they've locked Norma in the closet!

Filthy Friday

Wasn't it just yesterday when we mentioned what to do if life gives you lemons?


Thursday, January 03, 2013

The Beer Fridge

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

When life gives you snow, you make a BEER FRIDGE!...

Sadly, the Vodka Fountain and the Gincuzzi have frozen over.

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Canada Welcomes 2013

…with a record snowfall.

Parked cars under mounds of snow.

I thought you Bitches in milder climes might like to see this…

(It's not necessary to turn on your speakers. And those of you with no patience can fast forward to see the number of trucks coming down the street at the end.)

The video clip shows Montréal (Huggy Jon’s hometown) digging out from a recent record snowfall and there’s almost as much snow here in Mistress MJ’s little corner of the cuntry. This is a fairly typical scene from any Canadian winter.

The snow is not only being swept up…it’s being loaded onto trucks and taken to one of 29 snow elimination sites or “snow dumps” in Montréal. Would you rather we ship it to your house?

The average volume of snow taken to disposal sites in Montréal per year is 325,000 truckloads.

Following a snowstorm, it can take up to 5 days to remove the snow from the streets and sidewalks in Montréal.

For the love of all that is holy, keep out of the way of the snow removal equipment!

Oh, and did you notice those unattractive structures in front of several houses? Those are called “tempos” or “abri-tempos.” Tempos are temporary shelters designed to protect your driveway and car from the winter elements…

Tempos are ubiquitous in Québec. Almost as bad as Crocs.

But it's not ALL bad.

Someone in my neighbourhood made a snow penis. It looked something like this...

Unfortunately, by the time I returned to take a photo (for you Bitches,) someone had knocked the penis off and all that remained were a pair of snow balls.

We hope you’ve enjoyed your visit to our Winter Wonderland.

The Morning After the Night Before

Help yourselves, Bitches...