MJ Vomits in a Vegas Nightclub

After glugging champagne and tequila directly from the bottle, she covertly vomits onto one of the banquets at Haze lounge. She then stumbles out of the club in her see-through leopard print dress.

Back in the hotel room, MJ claims that she lost her purse in the club, though she hadn't even brought it down in the first place. When Reza asks what colour her bag was, she bleats: 'Expensive!'' Asa and Reza take care of their sloppy, drunken pal and even hose her down in a cold shower...while she's still wearing her expensive dress.

In need of a cold shower: Reza hoses MJ off when she becomes too drunk and incoherent

Good friend: Though it's his birthday, Reza still puts MJ in the tub

This is what happens to drunk girls: MJ is the new Snooki

Read more of the article here.

Thanks (?) to Herr Mago for bringing this story to our attention.

Drunk of the Day

Welcome to another installment of Drunk of the Day.

Here we shall examine the wacky hijinks that folk get up to under the influence of alcohol.



Before we get started, let it be known that Mistress MJ secretly longs to drive a Zamboni but she is most likely to go off the boards like this woman…

THE DRUNK: Unnamed female Zamboni driver, age 34.

THE DISTRICT: Kingsville, Ontario, Canada. (approximately 35 kilometres southwest of Windsor, Ontario.)

THE DEED: The woman was charged with impaired driving after she was seen operating a Zamboni erratically at an arena, hitting the boards and falling asleep, slumped over the wheel.

A number of citizens told police, "I think the Zamboni driver is drunk."

The police sergeant observed the driver operating the machine in an erratic manner and missing large portions of the ice surface.

Police reported that she was found to have a flask of vodka in her front pants pocket.

THE DENOUEMENT: The woman is scheduled to appear in court in December on charges of impaired driving and having a blood alcohol level over 80 milligrams.




And in other Zamboni-related news, Republican vice-presidential candidate and hockey mom Sarah Palin claims that she “always wanted a son named Zamboni.”

Drunk of the Day

Welcome to another installment of our new series entitled Drunk of the Day.

Here we shall examine the wacky hijinks that folk get up to under the influence of alcohol.



THE DRUNK: Douglas E. Smith, 49, who calls himself “Otis the Town Drunk”.

THE DISTRICT: Portage, Indiana, U.S.A.

THE DEED: Police officers arrested Smith after responding to a report of an intoxicated man stumbling around.

It was Smith’s 70th arrest.

Smith has been arrested for public intoxication so many times that people he sees at taverns occasionally approach him and ask for his autograph.

Smith has spent about half his adult life behind bars. (and in bars too, no doubt).

Smith brags that he can drink two cases of beer in a day, or can gulp down six bottles of wine or three fifths of hard liquor. He said he has walked around with a blood-alcohol concentration of 0.45, enough to put most people in a coma.

THE DENOUEMENT: No word yet as to what punishment will be doled out.

Suggestions from the Infomaniac jury?

Do you know an "Otis"?

Drunk of the Day

Welcome to a new series on Infomaniac entitled Drunk of the Day.

Here we shall examine the wacky hijinks that folk get up to under the influence of alcohol.


THE DRUNK: Keith Walendowski, 56.

THE DISTRICT: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, U.S.A.

THE DEED: Walendowski said he was angry because his Lawn Boy wouldn't start

He told police, "I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want."

THE DENOUEMENT: Walendowski could face up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison if convicted.


Walendowski is not the first to shoot an appliance or an inanimate object whilst drunk. Heck, even Elvis was known to shoot out a TV set or two without the influence of alcohol.





Presley had a habit of occasionally breaking out a firearm from his gun collection and opening fire at television sets and other items.

For example, entertainer Robert Goulet was performing on TV when Presley blasted his 25-inch RCA television.

"There was nothing Elvis had against Robert Goulet. They were friends," a Graceland spokesman said. "But Elvis just shot out things on a random basis."





And now my question to you, bitches…

Have you ever attacked an appliance or inanimate object? Or wanted to?
Details, please.

*police officers and psychiatric personnel are standing by*