Happy Birthday, CyberPete!

Whether you know him as CyberPete or Petra, he’s our only Scandinavian Infomaniac Bitch.

[via]

Happy birthday to CyberPete in Denmark!

Happy Birthday, CyberPete!

Happy birthday to our Kylie-loving Danish poofter, CyberPete…

You know him as the “Win a New Boyfriend!” winner and as Infomaniac’s “High Maintenance Queen”.

He is also the only Dane to have won The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts.

And he’s the only person (to the best of our knowledge) to bleed glitter into a panty liner…

Join us in wishing CyberPete a very happy *cough* 29th *cough* birthday.

You may peruse his birthday ‘Wish List’ here.

Win A New Boyfriend Winner!

Congratulations, CyberPete!

You win a new boyfriend!

This amazing “Grow Your Own Boyfriend” is on its way to you in Denmark. Just add water and watch him grow 600% his size in water!


WARNING: Choking hazard!

Why does CyberPete need a new boyfriend, you ask?

Let’s hear it from CyberPete’s own mouth…

“because I'm sad, needy and desperate for love.”

Bitches, have you ever heard anything so tragic?

May we suggest volunteers from our audience to comfort him?

Jason is our runner-up with this retort…

“Because I've always wanted to date a choking hazard.”

Our third place winner is Michael Guy with this spin on the situation…

"I don't need a new boyfriend per se but is there a 'f*ck me like the bitch that I am' substitute?"

We would like to take this opportunity to note Michael Guy’s comment in yesterday’s post, as follows…

“AND just for the record bitches the last time I got lucky was the Reagan era. I just don't, as my friends say, "put myself out there." Which is true once one's heart has been trounced into the deepest darkest dirt pit of despair by someone who was supposed to love you.”

Still on the topic of Michael Guy, have you had a look at his man titties?

Thanks to everyone who participated in our Win A New Boyfriend contest.

Oh, and CyberPete?

We’ll be expecting a post WITH PHOTOS when you and your new boyfriend have your first date!

High Maintenance Queen(s) Crowned!

Infomaniac is pleased to present the title of High Maintenance Queen to …

(drum roll, please)


JILL AND CYBERPETE!

After a hair-pulling, wig-snatching, back-biting and venom-spitting smackdown, Jill and CyberPete proved to be equally matched in the high maintenance department.



So they each win a fabulous sticky notes pad! …



Congratulations to the runners-up: First Nations, Michael Guy and Kevin.

Although Michael, it seems, has taken issue with his defeat and is emailing the officials and calling for an appeal as we speak …


With God as my witness that tiara should have been MINE!

Jill vs CyberPete Smackdown!

It’s a tiebreaker, bitches!

Jill and CyberPete have tied in the battle for the High Maintenance Queen crown and now they must battle it out in a no holds barred smackdown!



This promises to be the bitchfight of the year, ladies and gentlemen!

Book NOW for your ringside seat as seating is limited.

Bring your own booze.

Free condoms and corndogs with price of admission.


Corndogs provided by runner-up Ms. Nations


Who will take home the crown?

Place your bets for Infomaniac’s next High Maintenance Queen.

Who is your money riding on?




Note: A big round of applause for our losers runners-up: Michael Guy and First Nations (tied for 1st runner-up) and Kevin (trailing toilet tissue from his heels as he attempts to catch up to Michael and Ms. Nations.)

Happy Birthday, CyberPete!

Bitches, did you know that our little Danish friend CyberPete loves lifeguards?


(click)


With that in mind, Infomaniac presents a special birthday pressie to CyberPete …


Wind me up…I’ll swim 25 feet!

Enjoy your junior lifeguard “swimming doll” with rust-resistant motor!


Note: IVD’s birthday story to you is a much better gift but at least you can be thankful I didn’t bake you a cake.

MANFLU Epidemic

It’s MANFLU season again.


(click to enlarge to experience the horror that is MANFLU)
[image via]

Just when you thought it was safe to mingle amongst the unwashed masses, both CyberPete and Mr. Peenee have been struck down with dreadful cases of MANFLU.

Mr. Peenee whinges on (and on) about it here.

Please offer up your Novenas and prayers to our ailing friends.

What precautions are you taking to guard against the dreaded MANFLU?

Donn: Winner of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts

The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts are coming to Canada!...For the FOURTH time!

On their way to DONN!...


As Old Knudsen would say, “Isn’t Donn lovely?”


Our Donn in Winnipeg, Manitoba is the lucky winner of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition.

The latest contest was held by our host CyberPete in Denmark.

Pictured here we see CyberPete from the ankles down, in The Shorts. And Donn’s winning caption below…


Hey Sailor,
mi Curaçao es su Curaçao
u like?
H'OKAY TWANTEE DULLAH!



As you know, Mistress MJ was the THIRD Canadian winner of The Shorts back in 2007.


Any excuse to re-post pic of Mistress MJ wearing The Shorts on her head



Astute readers will have noticed that Mistress MJ is also wearing The Shorts in her avatar.


Another excuse to re-post pic of Mistress MJ’s legs



Oh, pardon me. We were talking about Donn, weren’t we?

Sooner or later, it will be Donn’s turn to host The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition and when he does, you’ll hear about it here on Infomaniac.

Then you’ll have your chance to win The Shorts!

New to Infomaniac and have no idea what we’re talking about?

Read The Definitive History of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts.

Congratulations, Donn!


UPDATE!

According to this report, Donn has been detained in Mexico by the Immigration police!

Does anybody know a good lawyer?

FREE DONN!

Winner – Teen Angst Competition

Wondering who is our mystery teen?

It’s Englishman FAMULUS, currently residing in The Netherlands!


Famulus today


Famulus the teen


Correct answers were submitted by Anonymous Boxer, Ponita, CyberPete, EmmaK and Donn.

But there can only be one prizewinner.

Mistress MJ wrote each hopeful’s name on a slip of paper and stuffed the slips down her bra.

Famulus kindly volunteered to draw the names from Mistress MJ’s cleavage…with the proviso that he warm his hands first and act like a gentleman, i.e. not forage about for spare change while he’s in there.

And the winner is… drum roll …

CYBERPETE!

Congratulations, CyberPete! You are the lucky winner of the “I’m So Happy it’s Happy Hour” cocktail napkins!...



This contest really came down to the wire. We kept the contest open until 9:00 pm but at 8:50 pm all was quiet and we assumed no more entries would come in.

So we asked Famulus to reach in and grab a name. The name he drew was EmmaK.

But EmmaK’s luck would change in an instant as the clock struck 8:54 pm and another entry came in from Donn.

This threw a spanner in the works and Famulus was forced once again to delve into Mistress MJ’s cleavage and retrieve another name.

That’s when we drew the name of our little Danish friend, CyberPete.

Better luck next time, EmmaK.


Thanks to everyone who participated in the Teen Angst Competition.

Send in your teen angst photo soon!


Many of you guessed our mystery teen as DONN but don’t you know by now that Donn always wore a red bow tie?...





Note: Looking for more contests? Head on over to CyberPete’s for your chance to win The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts! The competition closes at midnight CET on Friday, March 13th. The Shorts have Mistress MJ’s DNA on them so you know you want them!

It’s Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Time!

Remember this?...


Mistress MJ wearing the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts…on her head


Yes, that’s Mistress MJ, pictured above, former Winner of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts.

Longtime Infomaniac bitches have seen The Shorts travel all over the world.


Remember when IVD wore them in Norwich, England?...





Or Eroswings in Texas?...




Now they’re in Denmark and CYBERPETE is holding THE FREAKIN’ GREEN ELF SHORTS CAPTION COMPETITION!

You want to win The Shorts, don’t you?

Then head on over to CYBERPETE’S blog NOW!

Contest begins today and ends on March 13th.

Are you new to Infomaniac and wondering what all the fuss is about over a pair of shorts?

Mistress MJ has painstakingly compiled The Definitive History of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts for your enlightment.



Now get over to CyberPete’s and WIN WIN WIN!


Note: No new post until Sunday when we’ll showcase The Women of Infomaniac.

CyberPete: Queen of Denmark

Denmark’s biggest poofter has been hiding his face from us for months.

The most we’ve seen is a glimmer of glitter…




And a hint of hairline…






But our CyberPete (CyberPoof) is finally ready to face the world!



Ladies and Gentlemen, CyberPete exposed!...






Yes, that’s his darling Kylie Minogue at his side.

Kaz insists that this is really a photograph of Rick Astley but I believe the head, at least, belongs to CyberPoof.

Some of you may not be aware that CyberPete is one HIGH-MAINTENANCE POOF.

So high maintenance, in fact, that he requires a team to work on him first thing in the morning to make him presentable to the world…





This would all be well and good, each to his own and all, if he hadn’t stolen my best houseboys and relocated them to Denmark!

Watch here as my (former) houseboys go about preparing CyberPoof for his day.

And listen as he sings out his extensive list of demands!



Silver garters?

Undulating undies? With marabou frills?

Purple nylon girdle with orange blossom buds?

Peekaboo blouse?

Polka-dotted dickie?

Lavender spats?

Cutie chamois booties with leopard skin bows?

Pink brocaded bodice with floofy fuzzy ruffs?

Gorgeous bright blue bloomers?

Organdy snood?



Can there be any doubt the lady is a Queen?

Now return my houseboys to me immediately, bitch.



Note: I believe Queen CyberPete may be having some sort of psychotic breakdown at the end when he asks to be dressed up in liverwurst and camembert cheese but isn’t all royalty a little daft?

Happy Birthday, CyberPete!

(sung to the tune of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band)



It was thirty years ago today
A Danish woman gave birth to a gay




He’s quite swishy but he has lots of style



And he’s guaranteed to raise a smile



So may I introduce to you,
The act you’ve known all these years,
CyberPoofter, leader of the band!...



Happy Birthday to CyberPete: our favourite Dane AND current custodian of The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts!

Celebrity Arse – David Boreanaz

Hey CyberPete. Rub-a-dub-dub, let’s make love in the tub

Today’s request for Celebrity Arse comes all the way from LegoLand or Denmark as it’s officially called.

CyberPete wishes to see David Boreanaz’ arse.

Actually, CyberPoof made a quintuple request for the arses of Paul Walker, Paul Muldoon, Matthew McConnaghey, Matthew Perry and David Boreanaz but I’m restricting him to just the one arse for being such a greedy guts.




DAVID BOREANAZ’ ARSE
(David Boring-arse / David Bore-anus)



And just for you, CyberPoof, you can watch David’s arse in motion as it walks away here.

CyberPete Has Moved!

Denmark’s biggest poofter and Kylie Minogue’s number one fan, CyberPete, has moved to Blogger.

Visit CyberPete at Sayhey.

If you love shoes, cocktails with umbrellas and Kylie Minogue, you’ll love Sayhey.


KYLIE MINOGUE’S ARSE


CyberPete is also the current custodian of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts.

Now go visit CyberPete and be sure to make snide remarks about the girlish pink colour of his blog.

The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Go Danish

(click to enlarge)
Next stop: Denmark
Note to IVD: Update the map!


The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts are headed, for the very first time, to Denmark!

CyberPete, our token Dane, won the much-coveted Shorts from Tatas in Berkshire, England.

Here’s the photo of Tatas in The Shorts with CyberPete’s winning caption, a poem, underneath…




With boots of rubber
waiting for her lubber
ready for action
with decent traction
bum in place
and hidden face
the shorts so snug
you can see her rug
but gentlemen beware
and tread with care
the hedge clippers are ready
so keep it steady
if not she will snip
and it won't your lip.


Congratulations, CyberPete!

Oh and Tatas? We’ve heard you have more pics of yourself in The Shorts. Let’s have a peek, eh?


New to Infomaniac and wondering what all the fuss is over a pair of Elf Shorts? Check out The Definitive History of the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts.

Google Searches – Day 7

Today: Google searches on Infomaniac looking for Frobi, IVD, and CyberPete.


GOOGLE SEARCHES LOOKING FOR FROBI


Bree Vandekamp wigs


I am a teenage boy I need a dildo for my bum
I am a twelve year old boy and have a stiff cock in my shorts
He always gets his cock out at parties
Dedicated to disco
Cruising for trannies
Is rat pee bad for you?



GOOGLE SEARCHES LOOKING FOR (IVD) INEXPLICABLE DeVICE



Warty cock pics


Enema shower
Dirty boy
Men with long toenails
Good weekend IVF
IVF orgasm
IDV paintings
Barbed wire knickers
gagging for a shag
stretched sphincter
suck my willy pics
dead elf
dried cum on thong
rent boy pics
tranny caught with knickers down



GOOGLE SEARCHES LOOKING FOR CYBERPETE



tranny sandals


Danish pastries porn
Dirty Danish
Danish cunt
Dirty Danish bitches
caught wanking by mum
I’d do me

Happy Birthday, CyberPete!

He comes from a land of Tuborg and kippers
His shoes are sparkly ruby slippers
He’s charming and funny and oh so gay
Wish CyberPoof a happy birthday!

Danish Pastry

Piggy and I spent the better part of the evening discussing how to achieve world peace and eliminate poverty and global warming.

So it was only natural that the conversation should steer from those issues to that poofy little Danish pastry, CyberPete.



Two things in particular are on our minds:

1) What does he look like?

And

2) Which name best suits him?

We also tried to imagine his sex life but we both got nauseous thinking about it. Piggy supposes it involves CyberWhatever posing as a 12-year-old girl to entertain toothless Krauts.

So let’s address these issues one at a time…




1) What does he look like?

I’m sure you’re all familiar with the national symbol of Denmark, The Little Mermaid?…










Well, I think CyberPete looks just like her…









2) Which name best suits him?

What name shall we use to address CyberPete from now on? He’s not fond of CyberTwat although I think that name is as apt as any other. So let’s review the possibilities.

Please select your fave name for CyberPete or suggest one of your own:

CyberTwat
CyberCunt
CyberSlut
CyberSlag
CyberWhore
CyberPoo
CyberCindy


Discuss.