Monday, January 31, 2011

The United Kingdom Explained


Every once in a while, we here at Infomaniac like to try to make sense of The United Kingdom, Great Britain, Ireland …. and what have you… by opening up the topic to you or simply by posting a Venn Diagram…


Today we have added teaching material in the form of an instructional, yet amusing, video clip.

If you have five minutes to spare, watch and learn OR simply postulate your OWN theories in the comments box.

The United Kingdom Explained from Colin Grey on Vimeo.

Toodle pip! from Mistress MJ in the Commonwealth Realm.

Note: The script to this video is available here.

Happy Birthday, AyeM8y!

You know him by many names... Mean Dirty Pirate, AyeM8y, Mr. Nude Infomaniac

And, of course, the Official Penis of Infomaniac

“Little Pirate”

Give him some birthday LOVE, bitches!

p.s. Be sure to read his shocking memoir, “Gulf Coast Girl”…


And the salacious sequel, “Have Body…Will Travel.”

Happy Birthday, AyeM8y!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

What's On Telly?


Anything good on tonight?


kabuki blue vs The Polka Dot Queen

Who will win?

Saturday, January 29, 2011

The Return of the Polka Dot Queen

Remember me?

I’m not going away.

And I know where to find you.


Friday, January 28, 2011

The Scourge

What are you bitches doing this weekend?

(click to enlarge)

Mistress MJ is busy inspecting and sanitizing her toilet seats to protect against THE SCOURGE.

We suggest you do the same.

Filthy Friday


Thursday, January 27, 2011

Foreign Swear Words

Thanks to Inexplicable DeVice (IVD), Mistress MJ now has in her possession The Little Book of Essential Foreign Swear Words which she won in IVD’s contest.

I have now mastered how to say “Die shitting” in Japanese…

Kuso shite shinezo!

“I’m having an orgasm!’ in Portugeuese…

Eu estou gozando!

And “suck my knob” in Italian…

Ciucciami il cazzo!

I’m not sure when the opportunity will come up to say “Your mother suckles pigs” in German…

Deine Mutter saugt Schweine!

But thanks to IVD, I’ll be ready for it!

What about you, bitches?

What are some of your favourite foreign swear words?

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Perfect Posture

A book balanced on your head for posture can double as a hat!

We have two reasons to celebrate today.

The Infomaniac House of Beauty is back in business!

And the vodka fountain has been repaired!

We feel it best not to discuss the Infomaniac House of Beauty’s sordid closing nor the subsequent legal proceedings.

Instead, let us busy ourselves with learning how to walk like ladies with perfect posture.

Everybody take an empty glass and place it on your head.

Chest out, shoulders down, heads up and look straight ahead.

Are you ready?

Now march to the vodka fountain and fill up your glasses!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Infomaniac Monthly

Have a peek at one of Ask the Cool Cookie’s other blogs…Periodically Anachronistic: a blog devoted to the idea of time out of mind and the great "what if" of periodicals that never were, but maybe, should have been.

CLICK HERE to see the latest issue of Infomaniac Monthly!

(click image to biggify!)

In Cookie’s words…

The origins of Infomaniac Monthly (The Magazine for Bitches who need to know on a need to know basis) are murky, but coded text, for those who didn’t need to know it was perplexing, to say the least. It’s publisher was a real kitten with a whip who went by the name “Mistress MJ”. Still it was one of the must reads in Ottawa by the territorial government, and Queen Mary found its contents very subversive - yet she claimed she only read it for the coupons.

Every November the magazine held a contest and gave away either a McLaughlin Buick or a Meteor Niagara (later a LeMoyne). You know, those folks in Manitoba really love their LeMoynes. The only time the contest backfired was November of 1959 when the faithful readership almost rioted when the car give-a-way was a basic Frontenac sedan. Really!

Like all trends, the magazine got popular in the lower forty-eight when husband’s began using the excuse that they “had to cross the Ambassador to get a copy of Infomaniac,” when what they were really up to was visiting the titty bars in Windsor for a show and a quickie lap dance before heading home.

It reached its frenzied peak in 1970, when the American talk show (of the same name) was hosted by David Suskind and he invented Maria Muldare to “feltch her violin,” and put on a show for the audience. After that elephant sat down in the living rooms of middle America, you could hear a pin drop. Now the lid was off the box, and Pandora (and society, too) ran amok in its efforts to find a dictionary and look it up. Oddly, there was no definition for the word until a minister's housewife in the Quad Cities caught "feltching that chocolate pudding out of the container" at a church function. How unhygienic is that?

Today, Infomaniac is a blog - electronic media media, they call it. New fangled like dental floss and stuff like that. And at it's essence, its back to being what it was meant to be - the place where Bitches who need to know on a need to know basis find out what it is that they to know.

Kipper Surprise

We’re serving up Kipper Surprise again here at the Infomaniac Diner…


As you know, Kipper Surprise is a special at Beast’s Café C but one needn’t travel all the way to Dorset anymore to enjoy it.

Bon Appétit, bitches!

Monday, January 24, 2011

When Infomaniac Bitches Meet

Earlier this month, after Miss Scarlet met and partied with Beast and Mr. Frobisher at Café C, we asked you…

Which bloggers have you met in person?

We now add two more bloggers to the list of INFOMANIAC BITCHES who’ve met up.


That’s right! They arranged to meet in a bar (it all sounds so shady.)

Since both of them live in the same city (Norwich, Norfolk, England) it was only a matter of time before they bumped into each other anyway. But clumsy Inexplicable DeVice (IVD) actually DID bump into her (nearly knocking her off her feet) following their arrangement to meet at Frank’s Bar…

After apologizing and dusting Miss Roses off, IVD and Roses enjoyed CAKE and conversation.

IVD bought her chocolates!!! Not just any chocolates but chocolates called “Boozy Combo!”

No, that is NOT jealousy you hear in my tone.

Miss Roses describes IVD as a “gorgeous, tall guy.”

She got that right. Note that his head doesn’t make doorway clearance.

But the compliments don’t stop there and I quote Miss Roses as saying…

Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you, he's hot.


This is one of those times when I wish our dearly departed Piggy (who also met IVD) was here to tear a strip off IVD and call him a "bony witch."

Wee Piggy (left) and Inexplicable DeVice (right) many moons ago

Anyway (Piggy’s favourite word), IVD and Miss Roses are now trying to convince CyberPete from Denmark to meet up with them some day.

Perhaps they’ll have a hot tub party!

Hot Tub Homo

You can read Miss Roses take on the meeting here and IVD’s tale here.

It’s an Infomaniac world, bitches!!!

Winter in Canada

Where’s my muff?

When Mistress MJ awoke this morning, it was -30 degrees Celsius … that’s -22 degrees Fahrenheit to those of you in the United States.

And when you factor in the wind chill, it feels like -39 degrees!

Apparently, it’s the coldest day we’ve had on record in this town!

“HOW COLD WAS IT?”…you ask.

To give you an idea what happens when the temperature plummets that low, observe this 33-second video clip…

Canadians…making winter fun!

Multitasking Monday

Normadesmond’s casual mention of "multi-tasking midweek" in our "Wenis Wednesday Meets WTF Wednesday" post, led us to a new title…


In what ways do you multitask, bitches?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Where’s Beast?

It’s been several days since we’ve heard from our friend Beast.

Good news! I found him wandering the halls in his vest…

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Exposed! – The Infomaniac Drinking Team

Following a night of debauchery…


…the Infomaniac Drinking Team hides their faces in shame as the police and the press close in…


Really, we don’t need this sort of publicity around here, ladies.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Ladies' Night

Vodka fountain out of order?

That never stopped the Infomaniac Drinking Team from having a good time.


Above we see Miss Roses taking her place at the whiskey dispenser as the rest of you queue behind her.

Later that evening…

(click to enlarge)

Filthy Friday – Stoner Edition

Thanks ever so much to the oh-so-fabu THOMBEAU for today’s Filthy Friday submission.

And thanks, Thom, for the thoughtful floral tribute.


Thursday, January 20, 2011

UPDATE on Here’s One For The Ladies

Thanks to Designing Wally for uncovering the identity of the model in our previous post.

It’s Horst Wagenbauer aka the “Most Extreme Measure in Playgirl History”.

Mistress MJ thinks he should change his name to HORSE.

See more here.

Note: Come back later in the day on Friday for another episode of FILTHY FRIDAY!

Here’s One For The Ladies


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Meanwhile, Back at the Infomaniac Cocktail Lounge


Things have gotten out of hand.

Wenis Wednesday Meets WTF Wednesday

It’s a happy marriage of Wenis Wednesday and WTF Wednesday thanks to this submission from that spawn of Ms. Nations…yes, I am referring to the STAINLESS STEEL AMAZON herself!

(as usual, click to emBIGulate a little)

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Titty Tuesday

(click to embiggify)

Monday, January 17, 2011

Man Cheese and Homo Biscuits

Now being served at the Infomaniac Diner.


[thanks, Normadesmond!]

Happy Birthday, Kapitano!

Please join us in wishing longtime Infomaniac Bitch Kapitano, a happy birthday!


Mistress MJ is still away but will return to blogging very soon.

In the meantime, let us know your birth date (year optional) so you can be on the Infomaniac birthday list.

And maybe even get a bit of cake!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Crafts Room

Mistress MJ is too busy to blog for a little while.

To keep you occupied she’s sending you to the Crafts Room


Let us know what you’re creating.

There are plenty of supplies so help yourselves to the crafts cupboard and, of course, the liquor cabinet.

But just remember: Alcohol and glue guns don’t mix.

To Our Australian Friends

To Princess, Damien, Ute and all our Australian friends in the path of the flood waters.

Keep us posted, if you can.

Our thoughts are with you.

p.s. Hip waders are almost as unfashionable as Crocs. Unless you look like Ava Gardner…

Monday, January 10, 2011

Scent Of A Man

(click to enlarge)

Get high on the smell of men!

Rocky Horror Confessions

It appears that our previous post got Mr. Peenee’s love juices flowing.

Peenee rushed to view his copy of The Rocky Horror Picture Show to sate his lust for Peter Hinwood and the “humpalicious” Barry Bostwick.

And so Mistress MJ has stepped into the confessional booth to reveal her Dr. Frank-N-Furter "appreciation"…


We see in Peenee’s comment box that Princess has hauled out his Rocky Horror DVD for a trip down memory lane too.

Does anyone else have any Rocky Horror confessions?

Sunday, January 09, 2011

The Doctor Will See You Now

You encountered our head nurse earlier.


Now meet the doctor.

The Infomaniac Medical Clinic

The long-awaited Infomaniac Medical Clinic opens its doors today.


Our head nurse is expecting you.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

Saturday Night

Another typical Saturday night has begun at Infomaniac…