Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Pain in the Arse

My arse is sore just below the right butt cheek.

It aches whenever I’m sitting down, just below my right gluteal furrow. So technically, it’s not really my arse but my upper thigh.

Do I not have enough padding in this area to accommodate long periods of being seated?

Is my arse atrophying from blogging too much?

Or am I overextending myself physically (I walk a lot) and my arse wants me to have a lie down?

What is your diagnosis?

It hurts right under here, Doc


  1. Hurts because you talk out of it.

  2. A deep tissue massage might do you wonders! Also, some stretches before engaging in strenuous activity may help...

    Perhaps someone with a bummed bum experience can offer better advice...

  3. Your suspenders are too tight.

  4. Blast! Kaz said what I was going to say.

    I knew I should've got here sooner instead of just sitting around.

    No wonder my arse hurts...

  5. VICUS: And it’s telling you where to shove your theory.

    BINGOWINGS: Deeper. Deeper.

    KAZ: Loosen them for me, would you luv?

    IVD: Yours needs the healing time after a long night’s work.

  6. MJ...sounds like a sciatic nerve...they are terribly painful and last forever...i have actually lost some feeling in my pinky toe because of bad is some information

  7. You'll have to turn to right a bit love so I can have a better look, then I can give you a diagnosis.

  8. You must be right, MJ. Who'd've thought arranging accomodation for all those seamen would be so strenuous?

  9. I second eroswings recommendation for a deep tissue massage. I had referred pain around there because of muscles around my hips. Get yourself a magic fingers masseuse!

    Also, I completely and utterly love that lingerie outfit that chick is wearing. Suspenders are the best.

  10. He He He my MJ voodoo doll is working :-)

  11. DAISY: I was doing fine reading the info on that link until I got to this part…“inability to control the bowel or bladder.”

    DAI: That’s not a Diagnosis. It’s a DAIagnosis.

    IVD: I wouldn’t think it would be so strenuous considering yours can accommodate as many seamen as the No. 1 West India Quay.

    T-BIRD: Perhaps IVD could wave his wand over my afflicted areas.

    BEAST: A pox on you!

    May your bush shrivel and wilt!

  12. To paraphrase Al Pacino,

    You obviously need to add some padding. Stop walking, eat more doughnuts and double the amount of time that you waste..oops I mean spend, Blogging.

    Take two French Cruellers and call me in the morning.

  13. I would have thought your pain was a bit higher up considering you are in working position there

    lovely shoes though

  14. I think it's a bed sore. Just a consequence of being old and bedridden really, nothing you can do about it. Ask the nurse to turn you over in bed a bit more frequently and change your incontinence pads to prevent chafing.

  15. My wand is going no where near your areas. Afflicted or otherwise!

  16. DONN: How about the Tim Hortons’ honey crullers?

    At 320 calories each, you add a Tim’s “double double” at 156 calories, and that should add some padding quick enough.

    CYBERHO: Contrary to what you’ve heard, I do NOT work on my back!

    BETTY: If it means blogging from bed, I’m willing to accept my condition.

    Squeeze some orange juice into my breakfast vodka and bring it to me on a silver tray, would you pet?

    IVD: Your wand has been everywhere else, may I remind you.

  17. sciatic nerve. got it. go to someone who works with sports injuries and you can get exercises that will fix it.

    barring that, ramp down to a smaller gauge plug and lay off the cocoanuts. I know they're more impressive than pingpong balls, but you're getting on in years you know....

  18. Oh, do you have problems with your knees too then?

  19. *aims and lobs a pingpong ball at FN's head...and a tennis ball at CyberSlut*

  20. You need good THICK support hose , and a walking frame

  21. you'd think with all the bum experts you have on this blog you'd get better advice. Maybe yer brain hurts from all the thinking you put into yer posts take a couple of asspirin.

    Or we can stop doing the doggy and you can get on top ya lazy bitch.

  22. BEAST: *obstructs Beast’s path with walking frame and laffs as he trips up*

    *laffs harder as MJ notes that Beast is assigned the bed next to me in The Home*

    KNUDSEN: Or you could kiss my owie better.

  23. Back trouble is my guess.
    I went to the doc' with a pain in my gonads which turned out to be back trouble.

  24. TICKERS: I suspect you were wanking too much.

  25. That's quite a trick you've got there MJ

    I haven't seen it in action before, but heard of it in a documentary on trannies of Bangkok and well IDVs reputation preceeds him

  26. IDV: I can't believe you won't get your wand out to help a girl in suspenders in need!

    Shame on you!

  27. It's the shoes - you need to send them to me NOW so I can render an official opinion.

    No, you won't get them back.

  28. MJ i never had a bladder or bowel control problem but i will say it hurt unbelievably because i was stubborn and didn't get it looked at and didn't do what i needed to in order to fix it...check it out before it gets too bad...seriously i still have numbing in my pinky toe and a little down the side of my leg from it, and i won't get that back...

  29. CYBERSLUT: Take your seat in the front row.

    T-BIRD: We don’t need his warty wand anyway.

    *haughtily bustles off*

    PEEVISH: Hands off the shoes!

    DAISY: Ta for the good advice.

    I’d hate for my bowels to go bonkers!

  30. T-Bird: Girl? GIRL?! Have you seen the same pictures of MJ as I have?

  31. Go commando for a while! Really it sounds like back trouble. A pinched nerve or bulging disk hurts in the butt cheek and will start to move down the front of your thigh. Try a good Chiropractor them a deep massage. I have had this for years. Going commando is just a perk!

  32. MYTOES: I’m commando as I type this.

    I hope you all can envision and appreciate that.

  33. Yea baby! Hope it makes your cheeks feel better!