Showing posts with label rehab. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rehab. Show all posts

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Released from Rehab

Norma (pictured below, left) has come to collect Mistress MJ from rehab...


[via]

Nonetheless, it may be several more days until I can pop by to visit you Bitches.

Thanks to those of you visited and smuggled hip flasks.

Monday, April 08, 2013

Meanwhile, Back at the Amyl Nitrate Lounge

Mistress MJ is returning to rehab for a few days.

In her absence, you Bitches have run of the AMYL NITRATE LOUNGE.


[via]

We have Jon from London, England to thank for suggesting the name "Amyl Nitrate Lounge" for Infomaniac's most recently added room.

No doubt some of you Bitches are too high to remember the first photo to be taken at the Amyl Nitrate Lounge so we'll remind you...


[via]

See you back here in a few days!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Out on a Day Pass

Mistress MJ has been released from rehab on a day pass.

First stop? The pub...


Do you have a problem with that?


But what they don’t know at the rehab centre is that I’m never going back!

So, bitches, on my first day of freedom … where should I go and what should I do?


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Exorcism

The cameras are rolling once again on Rehab Reality TV.

When traditional electroshock therapy failed, Priest Mago was summoned to perform an exorcism on Mistress MJ…



Mistress MJ has no recollection of the events as they unfolded.

Can you bitches shed some light on what happened?


Note: Having declared her a “hopeless case,” the good folks at the rehab centre have given up on trying to cure Mistress MJ’s blogaholism. Infomaniac shall continue to update on a regular basis with scattered intermissions here and there. And there may be days when Mistress MJ posts but cannot personally respond to each and every bitch so just suck it up, dammit.

In other news, rehab is still working on our “mind-altering substances” problem as is obvious from this exorcism.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Blogging Addiction

Hello, my name is Mistress MJ and I am a blogaholic.

The cameras are rolling once again on Rehab Reality TV …



Mistress MJ, unable to quit blogging cold turkey, (albeit temporarily) has been forced into electroshock therapy.

What will be the outcome?

Will she spend her valuable time continuing to read other bitches’ blogs and leaving inane comments?

Or worse, will she blog AGAIN?

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Rehab Reality TV


Mistress MJ getting her 15 minutes of fame


We know we said we wouldn’t post for several months but the rehab centre wants the free P.R. on this one.

As you can see in the photo above, a film crew has been sent to document Mistress MJ’s harrowing journey to sobriety in a new reality TV show.

Here’s a sneak preview as we watch a devoted Infomaniac bitch attempting to smuggle booze and pills into Mistress MJ’s private room…



Any other ideas for captivating plot lines?

They’re going to need extras on the set so if you think there’s a role that you could play, let us know.

Oh, and don’t expect another update for a long time.

*adds ‘blogging’ to list of addictions that need treatment*


Acknowledgement: Special thanks to Mistress MJ’s Official Pillow Fluffer and Blogger Troubleshooter, XL, who solved my wonky italicized comments problems.


XL-icious

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Gone Into Rehab



The entire staff of Infomaniac (Mistress MJ, The Houseboys, The Infomaniac Dancers and The Infomaniac Orchestra) has gone into rehab.

Before you say “no, no, no” let me say that when I come back you’ll "know, know, know."

But you might want to add Infomaniac to your ‘Followers’ list because we don’t know when we’ll be updating again … possibly several months from now.

Since you’ve made lots of new friends as a result of the party, you should have plenty of opportunities to be entertained elsewhere.

In the event that you need something to peruse whilst you’re waiting for our big comeback, Infomaniac has thoughtfully provided an extensive list of …

GOOGLE SEARCHES THAT LED TO INFOMANIAC:

is manflu a real disease?
spells to get rid of unibrows / monobrows
women make fun of me for having a dirty foreskin
sagging "male buttocks"
Clam burger vagina
British men just want to shag
RETIREMENT HOME FUCK
oh what the hell show me some older pussy photos
how to become a good transvestite?

Naked hairy Irish men…




pictures of infomaniacs fucking in bed
how to snap a mousetrap to your tongue
Irish have small dicks
how many quarters can you put in your foreskin?
old fags paying to get laid
why do i have long labia is it because i am a slag?


Fat men with small cocks…




show me your bearded taco
stories of male slaves cleaning mistress arse hole using thier tongue
caught wanking in the woods
do spiders live in dreadlock hair?
"panties are itchy
artillery shell in arse
do transvestite boys have milk in there tatas?
put phone in foreskin
airing out the foreskin
british sexual habits
i want to see a woman licking a man armpit
video of woman insertion shower head in arse
pics of penises with big pee-holes

tongue up the arse pics…




pictures of naked men over 70
fat old mens cocks
HAIRY DANISH ARM PIT
PICTURES OF MENS COCK HELMETS
let me suck your foreskin
looking for old slags sucking cock
toenail inside a cockhole
penis stuck to a cold pole
when bottoming how do you clear out your arse?
gagging for a shag
Irish armpit
fenian porn
filthy old fat slags
cheese rolling -is it dangerous?

men scratching cock balls pictures…




lick smelly armpit
why do i love to lick armpit stubble?
giant red stiletto shoe found dorset
Agnetha Faltskog wearing Panties
where to buy wood to make a glory hole?
thumbs up bums
i like to wank in women's tights but i am aman
who was the inventor of porn?

ginger pubed men with their cocks out…




women who wank with vegetables free porn
famous men who wear berets
dreadlocks white people why?...
mj's gogo dancers
men holding their crotches desperate pee
inserting nipples in the arse

which nipple is biggest?...




10 sex positions you shouldnt attempt
bare arsed German bitches
Coronation Street Sally and Rita catch Norris wanking
cheese-scented dental assistant
it is as easy as pissing on two fingers
Pudenda galore
men in sheer socks poked fun at
warning extreme pms alert
women smuggling sausage in hair
caught wearing your mums dirty underwear pics
wobblesome buttocks


I effing love timbits...




slave lick my socks clean
why do canadians love kraft dinner?
dating service for guys with dreads
what is a cock supposed to look like?
scrotum slapping
pictures of men who pump their nipples
TOILET PLUNGER UP THE ARSE

fat old poofs…




my husband wants me to wear a remote control vibrator
irish filthy tarts
are foreskins more fun?
dirty irish fuck sluts
how to find a bar slut?
wanking outdoors in dirty knickers
women hissing while pissing
how to stretch your cock hole?

homos in black sock photos…




guys who will let you sniff their socks
"piss off you old cunt"
ginger gays turn me on
stinky minge
putting your own cock in your ass
its time you shaved off that filthy bush
VIDEOS of boys in lederhosen being spanked by ladies
wanking in pantyhose on motorway
driving and wanking in pantyhose

sad ginger bastards with dreadlocks…




ladyboys with dentures
cannot get armpits clean
how to stop odor in foreskin?
filthy irish cock sucking whores
naked men and chips
well here i am what are your other two wishes?

And finally…

sticking a banana in the bum…




Adieu, mes amis.

Eat cake and be happy.

‘Til we meet again.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

How MJ Got Her Groove Back


Our hero: Manuel’s arse

By now you know the story of how Ireland’s finest waiter, Manuel, resurrected my blog.

Now it’s time to thank all you other bitches who contributed to the triumphant return of Infomaniac.

But first, let me tell you how I lost my groove; how I misplaced my mojo.





They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'no, no, no'
Yes I've been black but when I come back you'll know know know
I ain't got the time and if my Daddy thinks I'm fine
He's tried to make me go to rehab but I won't go go go.



They took me away in my sleep to rehab. Took my bottle too. Snatched it out from between my Kung-Fu-Grip thighs.





They wouldn’t let me blog from rehab so I had to give up my blog, blog, blog. Broke my heart, it did.

Then IVD and SID launched a master plan.

IVD lent Broom to SID so that SID could fly to rehab and help me escape. That plan quickly went tits up as Broom couldn’t handle a 30 stone man.

So SID eased his girth into his car and drove through the night to my rescue…



vroom!


SID whisked me away as best a 30 stone man can. He wooed and soothed me with sonnet and song. He plucked my harp as I blew his Uilleann pipes.

But our SID’s a trickster. As he soothed me with one hand he slapped me with the other. With this abomination!…


Photo removed.



My dignity barely intact, I fled to the Oracle: Old Knudsen.




Old Knudsen BC (Before Cap)



Knudsen took me under his holy robes and instructed me as to the Meaning of Life. He offered to hoe my garden and trim my hedges. But just as I was about to see the light, he blew my cover and exposed my secret identity as Greta Von Sharpie; the famous groupie who once dated Motley Crue, Ken Barlow and the terrorist organisation Hezbollah. …..



Greta Von Sharpie


Long story short. I’ve sent my evil twin Greta to finish my stint at rehab while I’ve come back to blog.



Now, in the unlikely event that I still have your attention, I would like to thank the following bitches who paid tribute to me on their blogs over the past week:

SID with “For MJ” and “Mourning Has Broken.”

Garfy with “Alas Poor MJ, We Knew Her Well.”

Tazzy and Piggy with "Petition Time" and “The Friday Read.”

Old Knudsen with “Blogger Uncovered.”

Inexplicable DeVice (IVD) with “Ding Dong, the Bitch is Dead!”

BingoWings with “See You Later, Alligator!”

Tatas with “MJ Leaving?”


Forgive me if I’ve missed anyone. You touched me. All of you big soft tits, you.


If you haven’t dozed off by now, my heart goes out to the following bitches who, along with Manuel and Manuel’s arse, were responsible for enabling my return.

SID (Stupid Irish Daddy): My shining star(fish). My inspiration. Do do that voodoo that you do so well. I kiss his fat Irish arse.


OLD KNUDSEN: My soldier of fortune. Who ya gonna call? Old Knudsen, that’s who. Brains and brawn and a rapier wit all in one package topped with a cloth cap. I’m proud to be a Knudsenite and proud to be his friend.


PIGGY: Pigsty managed to compose a long, thoughtful email to me without referring to me even once as “that auld bint with the toxic minge.” Obviously, it was a one-off but it worked.


FIRST NATIONS: FN invited me home for burritos. And you know what an honour that is!


WW & HE or SS or whatever he’s calling himself these days: These two Canuckleheads speak my language, eh?


And wiping up the rear: SMUNTY THE CABIN BOY.



And finally, thanks to all you bitches who either sent emails to me, left comments, or both during my meltdown. I’d link to you but I’m spent. You are as follows:

Kaz (whose email made me cry, it was that lovely); IVD (Inexplicable DeVice) (you’re a peach); CyberPete (fashion consultant whilst in rehab); Geoff and Betty; Connie the Convict and his bitch Tatas; Tickers, Vicus Scurra; Frobisher; Chaucer’s Bitch; Dai (ta for stopping by. who are you?); Arabella (I didn’t know you visited here!); Kapitano; Billy; Ellie; MyToes; Peevish McSnark; Geo and Maidy; Rich; Brad Stitt; Daisy and NWT Runner.

A now a word, if I may, with BEAST.

I wasn’t gone five minutes and my body not even cold yet when Beast started nicking my material.

The dirty bitch would have got his hooks into my Album Covers and Filthy Friday too had I not called him at his game.

Your punishment, Beast, is a Norwegian fish whipping from Mistress MJ!




Ta very much, my darling bitches.

Hugs and kisses,

MJ