CyberPete: Queen of Denmark

Denmark’s biggest poofter has been hiding his face from us for months.

The most we’ve seen is a glimmer of glitter…




And a hint of hairline…






But our CyberPete (CyberPoof) is finally ready to face the world!



Ladies and Gentlemen, CyberPete exposed!...






Yes, that’s his darling Kylie Minogue at his side.

Kaz insists that this is really a photograph of Rick Astley but I believe the head, at least, belongs to CyberPoof.

Some of you may not be aware that CyberPete is one HIGH-MAINTENANCE POOF.

So high maintenance, in fact, that he requires a team to work on him first thing in the morning to make him presentable to the world…





This would all be well and good, each to his own and all, if he hadn’t stolen my best houseboys and relocated them to Denmark!

Watch here as my (former) houseboys go about preparing CyberPoof for his day.

And listen as he sings out his extensive list of demands!



Silver garters?

Undulating undies? With marabou frills?

Purple nylon girdle with orange blossom buds?

Peekaboo blouse?

Polka-dotted dickie?

Lavender spats?

Cutie chamois booties with leopard skin bows?

Pink brocaded bodice with floofy fuzzy ruffs?

Gorgeous bright blue bloomers?

Organdy snood?



Can there be any doubt the lady is a Queen?

Now return my houseboys to me immediately, bitch.



Note: I believe Queen CyberPete may be having some sort of psychotic breakdown at the end when he asks to be dressed up in liverwurst and camembert cheese but isn’t all royalty a little daft?

CyberPete Has Moved!

Denmark’s biggest poofter and Kylie Minogue’s number one fan, CyberPete, has moved to Blogger.

Visit CyberPete at Sayhey.

If you love shoes, cocktails with umbrellas and Kylie Minogue, you’ll love Sayhey.


KYLIE MINOGUE’S ARSE


CyberPete is also the current custodian of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts.

Now go visit CyberPete and be sure to make snide remarks about the girlish pink colour of his blog.

Happy Birthday, CyberPete!

He comes from a land of Tuborg and kippers
His shoes are sparkly ruby slippers
He’s charming and funny and oh so gay
Wish CyberPoof a happy birthday!

Danish Pastry

Piggy and I spent the better part of the evening discussing how to achieve world peace and eliminate poverty and global warming.

So it was only natural that the conversation should steer from those issues to that poofy little Danish pastry, CyberPete.



Two things in particular are on our minds:

1) What does he look like?

And

2) Which name best suits him?

We also tried to imagine his sex life but we both got nauseous thinking about it. Piggy supposes it involves CyberWhatever posing as a 12-year-old girl to entertain toothless Krauts.

So let’s address these issues one at a time…




1) What does he look like?

I’m sure you’re all familiar with the national symbol of Denmark, The Little Mermaid?…










Well, I think CyberPete looks just like her…









2) Which name best suits him?

What name shall we use to address CyberPete from now on? He’s not fond of CyberTwat although I think that name is as apt as any other. So let’s review the possibilities.

Please select your fave name for CyberPete or suggest one of your own:

CyberTwat
CyberCunt
CyberSlut
CyberSlag
CyberWhore
CyberPoo
CyberCindy


Discuss.

Incriminating Pic of the Week

(click to enlarge)

Welcome to a new series on Infomaniac: Incriminating Pic of the Week, in which you guess which blogger is pictured in the photo above.

No, no, no. This concept couldn’t possibly have been inspired by a bitchy Kylie-loving queen who called me a cunt in yesterday’s comments.