Showing posts with label Canada Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Canada Day. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 01, 2020
Monday, July 01, 2019
The First of July
July 1st holds special meaning to The Mistress. It's Canada Day; it's Norma's birthday; and it's the day that our friend LX posted his first comment on Infomaniac, back in 2008. Click here to be carried back to days of yore.
In honour of all three events, The Mistress offers you Bitches the most Canadian of cakes: a lumberjack cake...
The Mistress is not in the most celebratory of moods. Why? Because LX (aka XL aka Mr. Lax) has published his final blog post.
LX has been the Official Infomaniac Pillow Fluffer and Personal IT Consultant to The Mistress for many moons. He is a loyal friend to us all.
And you know that "Banned By Infomaniac" sticker that you've all received? Some of you NUMEROUS times? That's LX's creation...
The Mistress is in denial that LX may not be hanging about to celebrate future festive events with his signature dish: the traditional cranberries recipe...
The Mistress has deluded herself into believing that he is using a health issue as an excuse; an excuse to get out of entering his limp ficus (again) in the upcoming 9th Annual Infomaniac Garden Photos Contest.
LX, if we must see you off, The Mistress will see to it that you are hooked up intravenously to the Vodka Fountain.
Oh, and Mr. Lax? You're a winner. You never really had to ask...
In honour of all three events, The Mistress offers you Bitches the most Canadian of cakes: a lumberjack cake...
The Mistress is not in the most celebratory of moods. Why? Because LX (aka XL aka Mr. Lax) has published his final blog post.
LX has been the Official Infomaniac Pillow Fluffer and Personal IT Consultant to The Mistress for many moons. He is a loyal friend to us all.
And you know that "Banned By Infomaniac" sticker that you've all received? Some of you NUMEROUS times? That's LX's creation...
The Mistress is in denial that LX may not be hanging about to celebrate future festive events with his signature dish: the traditional cranberries recipe...
 |
Ingredients:
1 can jellied cranberry sauce Preparation: Remove both ends of can. Push product onto plate. Slice. |
The Mistress has deluded herself into believing that he is using a health issue as an excuse; an excuse to get out of entering his limp ficus (again) in the upcoming 9th Annual Infomaniac Garden Photos Contest.
LX, if we must see you off, The Mistress will see to it that you are hooked up intravenously to the Vodka Fountain.
Oh, and Mr. Lax? You're a winner. You never really had to ask...
Wednesday, July 04, 2018
Sunday, July 01, 2018
The Heat is On
[via]
It's Canada Day AND Norma's birthday, Bitches!
The Mistress is not going anywhere.
Sunday, July 02, 2017
Canuck Duck
Nothing says CANADA like a six-storey-tall, 89 foot long (more than 27 metres) inflatable RUBBER DUCK weighing in at 30,000 pounds (13,600-kilograms)...
The duck is travelling throughout the Province of Ontario this summer as part of Canada's 150th birthday celebrations.
But rather than making a splash, the duck's $200,000 price tag has some taxpayers crying fowl.
And feathers have been ruffled by claims that the giant bath toy is a fraud.
The question remains: Why a rubber duck? How is this in any way related to Canadian history or to Canadian culture?
So over to you now, Bitches. What giant inflatable object do you think would be more representative of Canada than a rubber duck?
The duck is travelling throughout the Province of Ontario this summer as part of Canada's 150th birthday celebrations.
But rather than making a splash, the duck's $200,000 price tag has some taxpayers crying fowl.
And feathers have been ruffled by claims that the giant bath toy is a fraud.
The question remains: Why a rubber duck? How is this in any way related to Canadian history or to Canadian culture?
So over to you now, Bitches. What giant inflatable object do you think would be more representative of Canada than a rubber duck?
Saturday, July 01, 2017
Friday, July 01, 2016
July 1st Birthday Girls
Bitches, raise your glasses to the two birthday girls: MISS NORMADESMOND...
[via]
... and CANADA!...
[via]
... and CANADA!...
Monday, June 30, 2014
Canada Day is Coming
Canada Day is coming...
Canada celebrates its 147th birthday tomorrow.
However, on July 1st we'll be celebrating the birthday of another Grande Olde Dame.
Come back tomorrow and see for yourselves, Bitches.
Canada celebrates its 147th birthday tomorrow.
However, on July 1st we'll be celebrating the birthday of another Grande Olde Dame.
Come back tomorrow and see for yourselves, Bitches.
Monday, July 01, 2013
July 1st - Triple Hap-Penis
Mistress MJ returns briefly to celebrate the following THREE events:
1. Norma's birthday...
Please help yourself to Norma's cake. There's plenty of cake (and Norma) to go around.
2. Canada Day...
Thanks to fellow Canuck, Huggy Jon for the photo. I believe these are Huggy Jon's own undergear or "bobettes" as they're known in Québec.
And finally...
3. LX's fifth anniversary as "Official Infomaniac Pillow Fluffer and Personal IT Consultant to Mistress MJ."
Here we see Mistress MJ attempting to school LX in "How to Talk Canadian, Eh?"...
[via]
Now, if we can only teach LX to say "zed" instead of "zee," we'll be making some progress.
As usual, the Vodka Fountain and the Gincuzzi are in full swing.
[via]
Fire up the barbecue, Bitches!
1. Norma's birthday...
Please help yourself to Norma's cake. There's plenty of cake (and Norma) to go around.
2. Canada Day...
Thanks to fellow Canuck, Huggy Jon for the photo. I believe these are Huggy Jon's own undergear or "bobettes" as they're known in Québec.
And finally...
3. LX's fifth anniversary as "Official Infomaniac Pillow Fluffer and Personal IT Consultant to Mistress MJ."
Here we see Mistress MJ attempting to school LX in "How to Talk Canadian, Eh?"...
[via]
Now, if we can only teach LX to say "zed" instead of "zee," we'll be making some progress.
As usual, the Vodka Fountain and the Gincuzzi are in full swing.
[via]
Fire up the barbecue, Bitches!
Friday, June 29, 2012
Ask Norma
Mistress MJ is celebrating the long Canada Day weekend with a little trip to the seaside.
Naturally, she’s taking her personal assistant Miss Normadesmond along…
In Mistress MJ’s absence, all questions and concerns may be addressed to Norma, right here in the comments box.
Oh, by the way…
Norma will be celebrating her birthday on July 1st so be sure to drop by and give her a little love.
Birthday gifts are optional but may I suggest a lifetime supply of flatulence deodorizer pads?...
See you soon, Bitches and remember…
Naturally, she’s taking her personal assistant Miss Normadesmond along…
In Mistress MJ’s absence, all questions and concerns may be addressed to Norma, right here in the comments box.
Oh, by the way…
Norma will be celebrating her birthday on July 1st so be sure to drop by and give her a little love.
Birthday gifts are optional but may I suggest a lifetime supply of flatulence deodorizer pads?...
See you soon, Bitches and remember…
ASK NORMA.
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
WINNER of the Canada Day Competition!
Congratulations to THOMBEAU!
Thom is the winner of a prize package from Canada that includes "Look and Feel Canadian Instantly Breath Spray!"
Succumb to the fantasy, Thom!
Product description: “Deep down, we all envy those charming, simple people to our north. While we Americans spread out around the world getting in all sorts of trouble, those carefree Canadians just go about their happy lives -- trout fishing, snowshoeing, and chugging down maple syrup. If you've ever wondered what it actually feels like to be Canadian, here's an amazing opportunity. "Look and Feel Canadian Instantly Breath Spray" allows you to experience the essence of Canada firsthand! Just close your eyes and spray a little of this peppermint-flavored miracle into your mouth. In your mind, you'll see the snow capped mountains of Saskatchewan, you'll hear the rushing streams of Edmonton, you'll smell the pungent moose droppings of Manitoba. Of course, once you open your eyes, you'll be back in the U.S.A. But the lingering peppermint flavor will remind you of the time you were almost a Canadian. And for the rest of your life, you'll find plaid shirts just a little less annoying.”
Thom wins the Canada Day Competition for this concise verse in which he captured the very essence of our nation…
And kudos to runner-up Damien Oz for this gem…
Oh Canada,
Thank you for your furry beaver.
For hockey-lads and dental retrievers.
For red pubes and anal heavers.
Oh Canada,
Thank you for Mistress MJ.
For her plump but pliant vay-jay.
For her gentle but stern "hey hey!!".
Oh Canada,
Thank you for for the funny.
For humpy men who melt my honey.
For MJ - who spanks my bunny.
Oh Canada,
Happy Birthday for you and ya!
For Toronto and Vancouvah!
For lamabsting the Quebecois!!
Mazel Tov Canada.
Thanks, Thombeau and Damien!
And thanks to EVERYONE who participated in our Canada Day Competition!
A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR OUR WINNER THOMBEAU AND RUNNER-UP DAMIEN!
And now a brief verse from Mistress MJ…
Mistress MJ is proud to be Canadian
Twenty-four seven
Circadian!
Thom is the winner of a prize package from Canada that includes "Look and Feel Canadian Instantly Breath Spray!"
Succumb to the fantasy, Thom!
Product description: “Deep down, we all envy those charming, simple people to our north. While we Americans spread out around the world getting in all sorts of trouble, those carefree Canadians just go about their happy lives -- trout fishing, snowshoeing, and chugging down maple syrup. If you've ever wondered what it actually feels like to be Canadian, here's an amazing opportunity. "Look and Feel Canadian Instantly Breath Spray" allows you to experience the essence of Canada firsthand! Just close your eyes and spray a little of this peppermint-flavored miracle into your mouth. In your mind, you'll see the snow capped mountains of Saskatchewan, you'll hear the rushing streams of Edmonton, you'll smell the pungent moose droppings of Manitoba. Of course, once you open your eyes, you'll be back in the U.S.A. But the lingering peppermint flavor will remind you of the time you were almost a Canadian. And for the rest of your life, you'll find plaid shirts just a little less annoying.”
Thom wins the Canada Day Competition for this concise verse in which he captured the very essence of our nation…
Oh Canada, eh?
Eh, Canada. Oh.
And kudos to runner-up Damien Oz for this gem…
Oh Canada,
Thank you for your furry beaver.
For hockey-lads and dental retrievers.
For red pubes and anal heavers.
Oh Canada,
Thank you for Mistress MJ.
For her plump but pliant vay-jay.
For her gentle but stern "hey hey!!".
Oh Canada,
Thank you for for the funny.
For humpy men who melt my honey.
For MJ - who spanks my bunny.
Oh Canada,
Happy Birthday for you and ya!
For Toronto and Vancouvah!
For lamabsting the Quebecois!!
Mazel Tov Canada.
Thanks, Thombeau and Damien!
And thanks to EVERYONE who participated in our Canada Day Competition!
A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR OUR WINNER THOMBEAU AND RUNNER-UP DAMIEN!
And now a brief verse from Mistress MJ…
Mistress MJ is proud to be Canadian
Twenty-four seven
Circadian!
Sunday, July 03, 2011
Canada Day Competition Finals!
Are you ready to vote for your favourite entry in our Canada Day Competition?
Everyone may vote regardless of whether you’ve submitted an entry or not.
Read the following poems about CANADA created by our very own Infomaniac Bitches and tell us your fave.
You have until the night of July 4th to make up your minds.
The winner will be announced on July 5th.
DAMIEN OZ…
Oh Canada,
Thank you for your furry beaver.
For hockey-lads and dental retrievers.
For red pubes and anal heavers.
Oh Canada,
Thank you for Mistress MJ.
For her plump but pliant vay-jay.
For her gentle but stern "hey hey!!".
Oh Canada,
Thank you for for the funny.
For humpy men who melt my honey.
For MJ - who spanks my bunny.
Oh Canada,
Happy Birthday for you and ya!
For Toronto and Vancouvah!
For lamabsting the Quebecois!!
Mazel Tov Canada.
XL…
oh my canada!
beaver, mounties, old scrotums!
infomaniac!
MISS SCARLET…
Roses are red wine, Scarlet is Blue,
Canada is fab,
And so are all of you.
DONN (aka Mr. S. Capeons)…
Happy Canada-D'eh MJ
Wave a flag day
raise your handz and say eh!
Canada'z where erbody say
"have nice muthatf^%#$day eh"
Merkins ask us why we be addin U s to everthang?
So we ain't you eh
it'z a Franch thang
and we let erbody live in this place
'eh'-liens be comin' ever-day?
our southern neighb sez weez all cra-zay
but we say
no damn way
youze guys have nice day eh
anyboday wanna come N play
what the hey
whatcha say
why don't you muthaf%$@s stay
Cause datz the C'nai-way
datz how we roll ever-damn-day
Euros came to snatch our Beavay
to chop N haul the wood away
First Asians said man what-the-hey? no way eh!
but felt bad and let their sorry frozen downass stay
now the rent's 144 damn years late
they be still reneggin' on their downass Treaties eh :(
maybe some damn day
we'll have to pay
and pave a better f%#$@ way
for erbody to stay
but not t'day
today we play away and get wasted eh
we say "gooday eh" to our neighbs
we should do this ever day
ignore our probs and seize the day ever-body ever-way
Happy damn Canada Day eh!?
ain't nuthin get done t'day
Peace Out
NORMADESMOND…
does saskatch have a snatch to chew on?
PRINCESS…
MJ’s off to meet the Middleton’s on their honeymoon,
How rude to be arriving on the first day after June.
It’s the National Day for locals and the one they celebrate
So just to piss the Royals off…. I hope she’s running late
They’ve come to see a beaver, “Show them MJ. Yours is grouse!”
Rumour has it that they’re staying at the Infomaniac house.
I have to wonder now about which room in which they’ll stay
Perhaps the Plaid Room or the Cheese Room or the Pink Room, that’s so Gay!
Now Will, will have to notice all the Houseboys on their knees
Bearing trays of cocktails as for Sir “We’re here to please”
“Have you any baggage Sir you’d like for us to stow?”
“Well I’d offer you the wife boys but the bitch she just won’t go”
The bitches have gone full on into celebration mode
It’s another wicked party at the Mistresses abode
Now the vodka fountains pumping, by the looks of it Grey Goose
And just for the occasion MJ’s gone and got a Moose
Will’s is naked in the corner with a lampshade on his head
Katie’s found a Mountie and has rushed him of to bed.
But the night it will be over and be ending all too soon
Seems the newlyweds are loving their Canadian honeymoon.
MS. FIRST NATIONS…
POMES IN HONUR OF CANANANDDA 4 A PRISE
1.
Hydro, White Widow,
Ruby, Cat Piss, Blue Buddha,
Albino Rhino.
2.
Early Purple Kush,
Willie Nelson, Wreckage,
Zero Gravity.
3.
Reclining Buddha,
Martian Mean Green, Sleestak,
Lambo, Free Tibet.
MAGO…
Cannada
Schlannada
Hauptsach' Du hast'es Muater'l liab
RANDOM CHICK…
I've never been to Canada but like the folks,
I notice that lots of Canadians are good at jokes.
I should probably know more about this nation,
But like most Americans, my brain is on vacation.
There are some Canadians I'd love to screw,
Ryan Reynolds, Corey Hart, Nathan Fallon, who knew?
Will that hellp me win this contest, perhaps,
For now I am going to take a big nap!
MR. PEENEE…
I’m happy to contribute sort of an Impressionistic Haiku.
I call it: “O Canada…. It really is a county…. Yes, it is… Is too… IS TOO…. It’s like right next door, what do you think happens when you leave New York?.... No, stupid, Connecticut is the other direction…. Is too…. Well, fuck you too…. OK, I’m leaving… No, I’m leaving first…. I do not, you always say that…. Just pay the bartender and let’s go…. No I do not have anything smaller than a twenty.”
Here’s the poem:
Naked Mounties, eh?
Poutine madness, maple stuff
Ice, ice, MJ, ice
THOMBEAU…
Oh Canada, eh?
Eh, Canada. Oh.
KABUKI ZERO…
Dammit Jim I'm a Doctor, not a Canadian! (star trek is big is canada ya know)
MITZI…
Mitzi’s poem #1:
Is she older than she looks on the telly, Are they her own teeth
with her chapeau askew, nobody knew
t'was to hide the bald patch b'neath?
Mitzi’s poem #2:
The food I love the most
Is not a chicken roast
Lovely fish and chips
Will never pass my lips
and I would rather not
Eat sausages quite hot
But if I had some Maple syrup
Oh, happy would I be
I'd pour some on a pancake
And have it for my tea.
One day we’ll be flipping through the pages of Poetry Magazine, as one does, and find your published verses. Then we can say, “I read it first on Infomaniac!”
In the meantime, please cast your vote for your favourite poem.
Everyone may vote regardless of whether you’ve submitted an entry or not.
Read the following poems about CANADA created by our very own Infomaniac Bitches and tell us your fave.
You have until the night of July 4th to make up your minds.
The winner will be announced on July 5th.
DAMIEN OZ…
Oh Canada,
Thank you for your furry beaver.
For hockey-lads and dental retrievers.
For red pubes and anal heavers.
Oh Canada,
Thank you for Mistress MJ.
For her plump but pliant vay-jay.
For her gentle but stern "hey hey!!".
Oh Canada,
Thank you for for the funny.
For humpy men who melt my honey.
For MJ - who spanks my bunny.
Oh Canada,
Happy Birthday for you and ya!
For Toronto and Vancouvah!
For lamabsting the Quebecois!!
Mazel Tov Canada.
XL…
oh my canada!
beaver, mounties, old scrotums!
infomaniac!
MISS SCARLET…
Roses are red wine, Scarlet is Blue,
Canada is fab,
And so are all of you.
DONN (aka Mr. S. Capeons)…
Happy Canada-D'eh MJ
Wave a flag day
raise your handz and say eh!
Canada'z where erbody say
"have nice muthatf^%#$day eh"
Merkins ask us why we be addin U s to everthang?
So we ain't you eh
it'z a Franch thang
and we let erbody live in this place
'eh'-liens be comin' ever-day?
our southern neighb sez weez all cra-zay
but we say
no damn way
youze guys have nice day eh
anyboday wanna come N play
what the hey
whatcha say
why don't you muthaf%$@s stay
Cause datz the C'nai-way
datz how we roll ever-damn-day
Euros came to snatch our Beavay
to chop N haul the wood away
First Asians said man what-the-hey? no way eh!
but felt bad and let their sorry frozen downass stay
now the rent's 144 damn years late
they be still reneggin' on their downass Treaties eh :(
maybe some damn day
we'll have to pay
and pave a better f%#$@ way
for erbody to stay
but not t'day
today we play away and get wasted eh
we say "gooday eh" to our neighbs
we should do this ever day
ignore our probs and seize the day ever-body ever-way
Happy damn Canada Day eh!?
ain't nuthin get done t'day
Peace Out
NORMADESMOND…
does saskatch have a snatch to chew on?
PRINCESS…
MJ’s off to meet the Middleton’s on their honeymoon,
How rude to be arriving on the first day after June.
It’s the National Day for locals and the one they celebrate
So just to piss the Royals off…. I hope she’s running late
They’ve come to see a beaver, “Show them MJ. Yours is grouse!”
Rumour has it that they’re staying at the Infomaniac house.
I have to wonder now about which room in which they’ll stay
Perhaps the Plaid Room or the Cheese Room or the Pink Room, that’s so Gay!
Now Will, will have to notice all the Houseboys on their knees
Bearing trays of cocktails as for Sir “We’re here to please”
“Have you any baggage Sir you’d like for us to stow?”
“Well I’d offer you the wife boys but the bitch she just won’t go”
The bitches have gone full on into celebration mode
It’s another wicked party at the Mistresses abode
Now the vodka fountains pumping, by the looks of it Grey Goose
And just for the occasion MJ’s gone and got a Moose
Will’s is naked in the corner with a lampshade on his head
Katie’s found a Mountie and has rushed him of to bed.
But the night it will be over and be ending all too soon
Seems the newlyweds are loving their Canadian honeymoon.
MS. FIRST NATIONS…
POMES IN HONUR OF CANANANDDA 4 A PRISE
1.
Hydro, White Widow,
Ruby, Cat Piss, Blue Buddha,
Albino Rhino.
2.
Early Purple Kush,
Willie Nelson, Wreckage,
Zero Gravity.
3.
Reclining Buddha,
Martian Mean Green, Sleestak,
Lambo, Free Tibet.
MAGO…
Cannada
Schlannada
Hauptsach' Du hast'es Muater'l liab
RANDOM CHICK…
I've never been to Canada but like the folks,
I notice that lots of Canadians are good at jokes.
I should probably know more about this nation,
But like most Americans, my brain is on vacation.
There are some Canadians I'd love to screw,
Ryan Reynolds, Corey Hart, Nathan Fallon, who knew?
Will that hellp me win this contest, perhaps,
For now I am going to take a big nap!
MR. PEENEE…
I’m happy to contribute sort of an Impressionistic Haiku.
I call it: “O Canada…. It really is a county…. Yes, it is… Is too… IS TOO…. It’s like right next door, what do you think happens when you leave New York?.... No, stupid, Connecticut is the other direction…. Is too…. Well, fuck you too…. OK, I’m leaving… No, I’m leaving first…. I do not, you always say that…. Just pay the bartender and let’s go…. No I do not have anything smaller than a twenty.”
Here’s the poem:
Naked Mounties, eh?
Poutine madness, maple stuff
Ice, ice, MJ, ice
THOMBEAU…
Oh Canada, eh?
Eh, Canada. Oh.
KABUKI ZERO…
Dammit Jim I'm a Doctor, not a Canadian! (star trek is big is canada ya know)
MITZI…
Mitzi’s poem #1:
Is she older than she looks on the telly, Are they her own teeth
with her chapeau askew, nobody knew
t'was to hide the bald patch b'neath?
Mitzi’s poem #2:
The food I love the most
Is not a chicken roast
Lovely fish and chips
Will never pass my lips
and I would rather not
Eat sausages quite hot
But if I had some Maple syrup
Oh, happy would I be
I'd pour some on a pancake
And have it for my tea.
Brilliant poems, Bitches!
One day we’ll be flipping through the pages of Poetry Magazine, as one does, and find your published verses. Then we can say, “I read it first on Infomaniac!”
In the meantime, please cast your vote for your favourite poem.
Friday, July 01, 2011
Canada Day Competition
YAY! It’s Canada Day!!!
[via]
To celebrate Canada’s 144th birthday, we here at Infomaniac are holding a Canada Day Competition.
The winner will receive an exciting prize package from Canada (no, NOT the man in the photo.)
RULES:
Compose a verse about Canada and post it in the comments box.
On July 3rd, your poem will be judged by a panel of your peers.
No special talent is required. It doesn’t even have to rhyme ("free verse" for example.) Just have fun!
Note: Mistress MJ will be caught up in the Canada Day hoopla today so try to behave and keep the place tidy. As usual, the vodka fountain is open and for Canada Day we’ve added a Caribou fountain. Happy Canada Day, eh?
To celebrate Canada’s 144th birthday, we here at Infomaniac are holding a Canada Day Competition.
The winner will receive an exciting prize package from Canada (no, NOT the man in the photo.)
RULES:
Compose a verse about Canada and post it in the comments box.
On July 3rd, your poem will be judged by a panel of your peers.
No special talent is required. It doesn’t even have to rhyme ("free verse" for example.) Just have fun!
YAY CANADA!
Note: Mistress MJ will be caught up in the Canada Day hoopla today so try to behave and keep the place tidy. As usual, the vodka fountain is open and for Canada Day we’ve added a Caribou fountain. Happy Canada Day, eh?
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Canada Day Compo –Coming Soon!
It’s not always this cold here in Canada…
[via]
In fact, the temperatures climb well into the 30s in the summer (that’s into the 90s for you folk who haven’t mastered the metric system.)
We’re heating up now for our Canada Day Competition on July 1st.
Be here that day on Infomaniac for your chance to win a special gift pack from Canada!
In fact, the temperatures climb well into the 30s in the summer (that’s into the 90s for you folk who haven’t mastered the metric system.)
We’re heating up now for our Canada Day Competition on July 1st.
Be here that day on Infomaniac for your chance to win a special gift pack from Canada!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Coming Soon – Canada Day Competition
Miss Scarlet, upon hearing about the upcoming Canada Day competition here on Infomaniac, paddled her canoe to our fair nation to experience this country first hand.
Unfortunately, she was pulled over by a Mountie for speeding…
Perhaps you’ll have better luck when you participate in our July 1st Canada Day Competition.
The winner will receive a special gift pack from Canada!
Unfortunately, she was pulled over by a Mountie for speeding…
Perhaps you’ll have better luck when you participate in our July 1st Canada Day Competition.
The winner will receive a special gift pack from Canada!
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
CANADA DAY
Today is Canada Day, Canada’s national holiday.
Remember that Planet Oz post where we examined what makes Australians a unique people?
Infomaniac will employ a similar outline to show you foreigners what makes Canada such a great nation.
Let’s get started, shall we? Observe and learn.
Our houses are well-insulated against the cold Canadian winters…
We have an efficient transit system…
Snowshoes
The snowmobile or “Ski-Doo”
Laugh at our funny fashion sense…
Canadian hockey commentator Don Cherry, known for his sartorial statements.
Sample our Canadian cuisine…
Poutine: The Canadian holy trinity of fries, gravy and cheese curds.
Kraft Dinner: A staple of the Canadian diet, I’ve gone on at length about “KD” here.
Fiddleheads
Beaver Tails
Nun's Farts
Maple Syrup
Nanaimo Bars
Butter Tarts
Canada is the donut capital of the world.
Get buzzed on our hooch…
Screech
We’re a nation of sportsmen…
A land of unique and fascinating wildlife…
Marmot
Musk Oxen
Moose
Yes, most of our wildlife starts with the letter “m”.
But let’s not forget our national symbol, the beaver…
Our towns have names that make us titter…
Dildo, Newfoundland
Come By Chance, Newfoundland
Punkeydoodles Corners, Ontario
We have funny money…
The Loonie is our one dollar coin, so named because it bears the image of a loon on one side.
Our two dollar Canadian coin? Yup, it’s called the Toonie.
The rest of our bills look like this…
Every Canadian has a wad of Canadian Tire Money stuffed into his wallet…
Canadian Tire Money can be used to buy automotive products and camping equipment and caulking guns and lots more crap at the Canadian Tire store.
We’re a land of manly men…
WW and Donn…ROWR!
And buxom babes…
MJ
and
Pamela Anderson turns 41 on Canada Day. . Her age has finally caught up to her bust size.
Our telly shows us the way we are…
Trailer Park Boys
Our leaders, just like yours, are buffoons…
Prime Minister Stephen Harper
Our police are on horseback…
Dances with hooves: The Royal Canadian Mounted Police ‘Musical Ride’ is a spectacle showcasing the equestrian skills of the Mounties.
We have a lot of big stuff (future post on Canada’s big roadside attractions to come)...
The Wawa Goose in Wawa, Ontario
Yes, that’s a Canada Goose which, as you may know, produces big droppings…
And now let’s play you out with Stompin’ Tom Connors (popular Canadian folk singer) singing The Good Old Hockey Game…
Stompin’ Tom and hockey. It doesn’t get any more Canadian than that, folks.
THE END
Remember that Planet Oz post where we examined what makes Australians a unique people?
Infomaniac will employ a similar outline to show you foreigners what makes Canada such a great nation.
Let’s get started, shall we? Observe and learn.
Our houses are well-insulated against the cold Canadian winters…
We have an efficient transit system…
Snowshoes
The snowmobile or “Ski-Doo”
Laugh at our funny fashion sense…
Canadian hockey commentator Don Cherry, known for his sartorial statements.
Sample our Canadian cuisine…
Poutine: The Canadian holy trinity of fries, gravy and cheese curds.
Kraft Dinner: A staple of the Canadian diet, I’ve gone on at length about “KD” here.
Fiddleheads
Beaver Tails
Nun's Farts
Maple Syrup
Nanaimo Bars
Butter Tarts
Canada is the donut capital of the world.
Get buzzed on our hooch…
Screech
We’re a nation of sportsmen…
A land of unique and fascinating wildlife…
Marmot
Musk Oxen
Moose
Yes, most of our wildlife starts with the letter “m”.
But let’s not forget our national symbol, the beaver…
Our towns have names that make us titter…
Dildo, Newfoundland
Come By Chance, Newfoundland
Punkeydoodles Corners, Ontario
We have funny money…
The Loonie is our one dollar coin, so named because it bears the image of a loon on one side.
Our two dollar Canadian coin? Yup, it’s called the Toonie.
The rest of our bills look like this…
Every Canadian has a wad of Canadian Tire Money stuffed into his wallet…
Canadian Tire Money can be used to buy automotive products and camping equipment and caulking guns and lots more crap at the Canadian Tire store.
We’re a land of manly men…
WW and Donn…ROWR!
And buxom babes…
MJ
and
Pamela Anderson turns 41 on Canada Day. . Her age has finally caught up to her bust size.
Our telly shows us the way we are…
Trailer Park Boys
Our leaders, just like yours, are buffoons…
Prime Minister Stephen Harper
Our police are on horseback…
Dances with hooves: The Royal Canadian Mounted Police ‘Musical Ride’ is a spectacle showcasing the equestrian skills of the Mounties.
We have a lot of big stuff (future post on Canada’s big roadside attractions to come)...
The Wawa Goose in Wawa, Ontario
Yes, that’s a Canada Goose which, as you may know, produces big droppings…
And now let’s play you out with Stompin’ Tom Connors (popular Canadian folk singer) singing The Good Old Hockey Game…
Stompin’ Tom and hockey. It doesn’t get any more Canadian than that, folks.
THE END
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