Exclusive Suite Sale

Step right up, Bitches! Hurry down to our sales office!...


Be the first in line to book your suite in the new wing of the Infomaniac Villa of Queens Old Homosexuals' Haven Retirement Home!

Exclusive deal open only to Infomaniac Bitches, regardless of their sexual orientation. LGBTQIA! YAY!

Purchase your suite today and collect points on future purchases with the Infomaniac Shopping Network.

You don't have to be retired to take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime offer. Plan ahead!

Tell us which suite you want and what you're looking for in amenities.

Act now, while units last!

Right This Way, Your Table's Waiting

43 signs that you're ready for a room at the Infomaniac Villa of Queens Old Homosexuals' Haven Retirement Home:

Right this way. We've been waiting for you...

[via]

43. Aching feet
42. Failing eyesight
41. Everything taking at least ten minutes longer than you planned
40. Frequent late-night urination
39. Cracking sound each time you stand up
38. Ear hair
37. Nose hair
36. Head hair (in sink/shower)
35. "Sorry, I couldn't hear you."
34. "Just resting my eyes."
33. Unreliable memory
33. Ultra-reliable memory (i.e. increasingly frequent and vivid memories of things you've long since forgotten rushing in at inappropriate times)
32. "10th Anniversary Edition"
31. "Deluxe 20th Anniversary Edition"
30."Special 25th Anniversary Commemorative Edition"
29. Punk kids getting nostalgic about the Nickelodeon cartoons of a few years back
28. Current Nickelodeon cartoons
27. "Like" and "share"
26. Having to learn what "twerking" is
25. Having to think about whether or not you should eat that
24. Regretting your decision to have eaten that
23. Knowing that the rest of your life will be spent watching other people eat that with abandon while you have something considerably less flavorful
22. Not caring enough to get upset about someone else's success
21. Feeling sympathy when unfortunate events happen to people you spent a long time disliking
20. "Has that spot always been there?"
19. Coming to realize that if something hurts it is probably just going to hurt from now on
18. Coming to realize that pretty much everything hurts
17. "Can't you turn that down?"
16. Crossing the street when you see a large group of boisterous young people heading towards you
15. Being invisible to the large group of boisterous young people heading towards you
14. Classifying large segments of the population as "young people"
13. Inability to be boisterous
12. Thinking "it's kind of late" after 9 PM
11. Waiting until 10 PM so you can go to bed without feeling extra lame
10. Waking up at 5 AM and knowing you can either lie there for another hour or get up and start your day, because the one goddamn thing that's NOT going to happen is you falling back asleep
9. The death of older relatives
8. The death of your friends' parents
7. The death of your own parents
6. The death of your friends
5. The death of the hopes, dreams and ambitions you still somehow thought possible even after it made any sense to
4. The strange acceptance that descends after you've had enough time to understand that the death of the hopes, dreams and ambitions you still somehow thought possible even after it made any sense to is for real 
3. The understanding that you are not that far off from your own demise, at which point everything you've experienced will be wiped away as your complete insignificance becomes one with the end of your consciousness
2. The strange acceptance of the futility of your own existence and its imminent cessation
1. "Decaf"
[list found here]

How many signs are you exhibiting, Bitches?

The Seven Year Bitch

March 23rd marks Infomaniac's SEVENTH anniversary.

And a Bitch is tired.


[thanks, Thom!]

Mistress MJ has to put her feet up when it comes to blogging.

Seven years of amusing you Bitches, day in and day out, has taken its toll.

2,715 posts can do that to a Bitch. But who's counting?

Not only that but Mistress MJ's schedule this year has picked up the pace what with The World Domination Tour, upcoming World Domination spin-off tours, and the ridiculous amount of paperwork that comes with it.

Let's face it. Mistress MJ simply cannot multitask like she used to...



Or perhaps she's getting older and slowing down a little and will soon be joining the likes of Mr. Peenee and Normadesmond (as seen below) at the Infomaniac Villa of Queens Old Homosexuals' Haven Retirement Home...



No, this is NOT the end...


[via]

But Mistress MJ will be posting less frequently and visiting you Bitches only when time allows.

A reminder that you can also find Mistress MJ over at The Hair Hall of Fame where, along with several other Infomaniac Bitches, she is a beautician/contributor. Have you met our manager, Mr. Cookie?...



Thanks to all of you for making the past seven years the most fun a Bitch can have without getting horizontal.

How Hot IS It?

Let’s peek in at Norma and the gals at the “Infomaniac Villa of Queens Old Homosexuals' Haven Retirement Home” to see just how hot it really is…



Temps here today will feel like 43°C (109.4°F)…Mistress MJ is fanning herself vigorously as we speak.

Everyone Into the Therapy Pool!

Meanwhile, back at the Infomaniac Villa of Queens Old Homosexuals' Haven Retirement Home, in the Therapy Pool…

(click pic to embigulate)


Deck chairs and towels available from Miss Normadesmond…

[via]

Meanwhile, Back at the Infomaniac Villa of Queens Old Homosexuals' Haven Retirement Home…

Are you an aging homosexualist?

Reserve a room TODAY at the Infomaniac Villa of Queens Old Homosexuals' Haven Retirement Home.

All your friends are here, Bitches!

Old Poofs’ Home

Are you a gay who’s going grey?



A poof with snow on the roof?





Have we got a place for you!






WELCOME TO TAZZY AND PIGGY’S RETIREMENT HOME FOR TIRED OLD POOFTERS!




Come on in!



Join our hosts Tazzy and Piggy (two aging poofs from Yorkshire) for a tour of this exceptional gay retirement home.

You pause on the front step, looking perplexed as there’s nothing resembling a doorbell or a knocker.

“Simpleton,” sniffs Piggy. “See that letter slot in the door at hip height? Just slip your todger through the slot and we’ll cum to greet you.”

Once inside, a portrait of Quentin Crisp greets you in the grand entrance hall.




Quentin Crisp



Photos of dead gay icons line the walls of your new home. They’re all here: Judy Garland, Oscar Wilde, Liberace, Joan Rivers… oh wait, she’s still got a few years left on that face lift.


Tazzy and Piggy lead you to the communal “living” room where you’ll find all your old gay friends.

“Lawks!” screams a freakishly tall, rake-thin figure as he bumps his head on the ceiling.

Gasp! Its IVD!

(The Home was designed by Piggy, who, by the way, is a Pygmy… a ginger Pygmy, actually. Anyway, Pygmies have no concept that the rest of the world might be over 4 feet 11 inches tall so the freakishly tall IVD is having difficulty getting about in his new home.)

Why, you ask, is the relatively young IVD living in a home for aging poofs?

IVD is only in his LATE thirties but he’s developed an old lady’s taste as seen here…



IVD’s twee little cakes. Perfect to serve at the old poofs’ home with tea and a game of bridge.




As we scan the room, we see more familiar faces.

Why, there’s Mr. Frobisher! And he’s made a friend!...



Frobi (right with feathered mask) with unidentified friend on left. Perhaps we should have called it a “Camp” instead of a Home?





Old Knudsen appears to be disoriented…



I’m not ghey! Where’s the gurlyboys?





“What about activities and events?” you inquire.

We’re glad you asked.

Come along to the spa and relax in the hot tub!…








“What about Internet access? I NEED TO BLOG!!!” you fret.

Piggy assures us, “We’re fully equipped so you need never stop blogging ‘til the day you die. Access all your faves… like Infomaniac, for example!”








“Will I have my own private bedroom?” you wonder.

“We’re still working on that,” smirks Piggy. “For now you’ll have to share a room.”…









So cum enjoy the good life at TAZZY AND PIGGY’S RETIREMENT HOME FOR TIRED OLD POOFTERS!





Piggy the Pygmy (left) and the freakishly tall IVD (right) out for their morning constitutional. Note that Piggy is still able to walk upright without the aid of a Zimmer frame.





We’re sold on getting old!






Note 1: This post was inspired by Inner Voices who commented, “I went over to Tazzy and Piggys place... found the blog link and still couldn’t really figure it all out? Is it a dating site?” That led me to think that Taz & Pig should start a dating service for old poofs which led to me think they should also start up a retirement home for old gays.

Note 2: No new posting ‘til Monday so suck on this one ‘til then.