Thursday, March 31, 2016

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Happy Easter, Bitches

Oh, how I wish this story were true.

Friday, March 25, 2016

Let's Talk Colonoscopies

In celebration of Infomaniac's 10th anniversary, The Infomaniac Medical Clinic encourages those of you age 50 or older and those of you with a family history of colon cancer, to get a colonoscopy. After all, March is Colon Cancer Awareness Month.

The Mistress, who has a history of colon cancer in her family, gets a colonoscopy every five years. Those of you who are low risk can generally wait 10 years between colonoscopies.

Our Mr. Peenee had a colonoscopy earlier this week. Had I known, we could have snagged the "two for one" special...

Many people with colon cancer experience no symptoms in the early stages of the disease. And that's why it's so important to be screened. Screening can save your life.

A colonoscopy is an examination of the colon using a long, flexible, slender tube attached to a video camera and monitor to view your entire colon and rectum. If any suspicious areas are found, your doctor can pass surgical tools through the tube to take tissue samples (biopsies) for analysis.

You may elect to have sedatives or anesthesia during the procedure. You might feel nothing at all during the procedure. Or you may feel a bit of discomfort or cramping. During The Mistress's most recent colonoscopy, she didn't feel a thing. However, she "came to" early during a previous colonoscopy and felt some rather annoying cramping. Considering her experiences with satanic cramps from hell, colonoscopy cramping was nothing in comparison.

The worst part of the colonoscopy isn't the procedure; it's the preparation. You'll have to change your diet and clean out your bowel. Your doctor won't be able to see your colon clearly if you do not follow the diet and bowel prep. The colonoscopy itself is a "walk in the park" compared to the prep.


You may need to follow a clear liquid diet for 1 to 3 days before the procedure and avoid drinks that contain red or purple dye. The instructions will provide specific direction about when to start and stop the clear liquid diet. In most cases, you may drink or eat the following:

- Fat-free bouillon or broth
- Strained fruit juice, such as apple or white grape (not purple grape) —doctors recommend avoiding orange juice
- Water
- Plain coffee or tea, without cream or milk
- Sports drinks (e.g. Gatorade) in flavors such as lemon, lime, or orange
- Ginger ale
- Gelatin (Jell-O) in flavors such as lemon, lime, or orange. DON'T EAT THE RED OR PURPLE JELLO!

You must follow the directions for a bowel prep before the procedure. The bowel prep will cause diarrhea, so stay close to a bathroom. The Infomaniac Medical Clinic advises you to stay home the day before the procedure.

Different bowel preps may contain different combinations of laxatives, pills that you swallow or powders that you dissolve in water and other clear liquids. Some people will need to drink a large amount, often a gallon, of liquid laxative over a scheduled amount of time—most often the night before the procedure. In The Mistress's opinion, this part of the bowel prep is difficult. It is, however, very important. Your doctor will not be able to see your colon clearly if the prep is incomplete.

Following the colonoscopy, you may have abdominal cramping or bloating during the first hour after the procedure. You may also fart up a storm.

You should expect a full recovery by the next day, and you should be able to go back to your normal diet. Hooray! Then you can wait another 10 years for your next colonoscopy unless the doctor suggests otherwise.

Well, what are you waiting for? Book an appointment with your family doctor to arrange for a colonoscopy. If Mr. Peenee and The Mistress AND even Norma can do it, you can too.

For more information about colonoscopy, click here.

Disclaimer: The medical information provided at the Infomaniac Medical Clinic is of a general nature and cannot substitute for the advice of a medical professional (for instance, a qualified doctor/physician, nurse, pharmacist/chemist, and so on). The Mistress is not a doctor.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Decade of Debauchery Party!

Are you ready to party, Bitches?


It's a full moon tonight...

AyeM8y's full moon, above

And we're celebrating 10 YEARS of Infomaniac!!!

A DECADE of debauchery!

Food and drink is on the house...


And of course, there's CAKE...

The dance floor is rockin'...


Your behaviour is shockin'!...


To ratchet up the "fun-o-meter," we're throwing open the doors of the Games Room!...



The Mistress wishes to thank each and every one of you Bitches for making Infomaniac a thriving community.


And a toast to those Infomaniac Bitches who have passed on but are with us in spirit: Mutley the Dog, and KAZ, and Piggy.

Now party on, Bitches!



Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Happy Birthday, Mr. DeVice!

*♫Tall and pale and young(ish) and lovely
The boy from Norfolk County goes walking
And when he passes, each  man he passes
Goes "A-a-a-h"
*Sung to the tune "The Girl From Ipanema"...

We here at Infomaniac think it's no coincidence that Mr. DeVice shares his birthday (March 22) with World Water Day.

And to further demonstrate Mr. DeVice's affinity for water, these are just some of his many photos of the beach. No, not Ipanema Beach ... Cromer Beach. We think his photographs are fab. And so is he.

Happy birthday, Mr. DeVice!

Monday, March 21, 2016

Spring into Your Garden!

A reminder to get digging...

We'll be holding our Sixth Annual Infomaniac Garden Photos Event in September or October.

Now that spring has arrived, get growing soon so we can see photos of your garden.

Saturday, March 19, 2016

No Time for the Classics?

Short on time? No time for the classics?

Try these abridged classics!...


Friday, March 18, 2016

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Gay Buick

Formerly Gay Pontiac...

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Trubama Bromance

Steamy foreign affairs!

Obama + Trudeau = "Trubama" or "Obeau."

No matter how you say it, love is in the air.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has just wrapped up a three-day visit to the White House.

Obama: “And to the great credit of their people, Canadians from British Columbia to New Brunswick have so far rejected the idea of building a wall to keep out your southern neighbors. We appreciate that.”

Trudeau: “May the special connection between our two countries continue to flourish in the years to come, and may my gray hair come in at a much slower rate than yours has.”

Obama: “On a serious note, this visit reminds us of what we love about Canada. It’s the solidarity shown by so many Canadians after 9/11 when they welcomed stranded American travelers into their homes. It’s the courage of your service members standing with us in Afghanistan, and now in Iraq. It’s the compassion of the Canadian people welcoming refugees, and the Prime Minister himself who told those refugees, “you’re safe at home now.”

“From my perspective, what’s not to like?” President Obama said of Trudeau.

Trudeau described Obama as "a man of both tremendous heart and tremendous intellect".“A deep thinker,” Trudeau said of Obama, “with a big heart but also a big brain.”

There wasn't a pause between the words "big" and "brain" but we here at Infomaniac believe there should have been.

What Infomaniac readers really want to know is, who's the top and who's the bottom?

Wednesday, March 09, 2016

Macramé ... Is It For You?

Source: Macrame accessories: patterns and ideas for knotting.
by Dona Z Meilach, 1977.

Have you Bitches ever worn an item of macramé clothing?

Happy Birthday, Miss Scarlet!

Happy birthday to our charming Infomaniac Bitch, Miss Scarlet!

According to the "About" page on her blog, Miss Scarlet's age is "debatable." Best not to inquire.

Pop over here to see how Mr. DeVice is celebrating Miss Scarlet's birthday.

NOTE: The banana in this photo has not been in contact with Infomaniac Bitch Beast's bum.

Tuesday, March 08, 2016

Public Service Announcement #31

Sign in the window of the Reading Room...

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Monday, March 07, 2016


Commenting on yesterday's post, Miss Scarlet said, "I have some freshly cut daffs from the garden, and now I have somewhere to stick them."

Thank you for brightening the Reading Room, Miss Scarlet.

Daffodils by William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as a Cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and Hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden Daffodils;
Beside the Lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:-
A Poet could not but be gay
In such a jocund company:
I gazed---and gazed---but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude,
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the Daffodils.