Wednesday, April 26, 2017

We Disapprove

Whatever it is you're thinking about doing, Norma and The Mistress disapprove...

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Public Service Announcement #36

Think twice before calling room service. Studies show that hotel phones have high levels of bodily fluid residue on them…


[via]

Telephone keypads in hotel rooms were found to be teeming with over double the acceptable amount of bacteria; far more, in fact, than bathroom door handles.

Experts suggest that hotel guests protect themselves from bacteria by washing their hands, using hand sanitizer and wiping down surfaces with disinfectant wipes.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Gardening is Cheaper than Therapy and You Get Tomatoes

Now that it's spring, have you Bitches started gardening?


[via]

Later this year, we'll be hosting the SEVENTH ANNUAL INFOMANIAC GARDEN PHOTOS EVENT. Previous entries can be viewed here.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Ladder Safety, Continued

Honestly, did you Bitches learn NOTHING from yesterday's post?...


[via]

Monday, April 17, 2017

Public Service Announcement #35

Ladders are a frequent source of injuries. Please follow these safety guidelines.

Wear SHOES with non-slip soles...


[via]

DON'T exceed the maximum load capacity of a ladder. Only one person at a time is permitted on a ladder unless the ladder is specifically designed for more than one climber...


[via]

Climb FACING the ladder and place your feet firmly on each rung...



Center your body on the ladder and keep your belt buckle between the rails while maintaining a firm grip...


[via]

Use secure blocking or have someone hold the ladder...



DON'T climb a ladder if you are not physically and mentally up to the task...



Failure to comply with the above regulations will result in punishment from The Mistress...



This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Friday, April 14, 2017

Talking Trudeau Doll

Recently here on Infomaniac, we brought you the lifesize Justin Trudeau cardboard cutout. Today, we introduce the Justin Trudeau talking doll!...



For just $129.99 CAD (or three easy payments of $43.33) plus shipping and handling, this chatty chieftain can be yours.

It's fully poseable, so you can display him however you like.

At 38.1 centimeteres, it stands about 10 cm taller than a Barbie doll. Or should we say a Ken doll?

Push his button and in his own voice Trudeau says phrases like “A positive, optimistic, hopeful vision of public life isn’t a naive dream, it can be a powerful force for change,” “Canada is a country strong not in spite of our differences but because of them,” “I'm an Infomaniac Bitch,” and more.

Not intended for children under 14. “This doll is not a toy,” the website warns. “It is a fine collectible to be enjoyed by adult collectors.”

Satisfaction Guaranteed.



Don't delay; order now! Available here or from the Infomaniac Shopping Network.

Thursday, April 06, 2017

Tartan Day

For those of you of Scottish heritage, today is Tartan Day ...


[via]

Wednesday, April 05, 2017

Happy Birthday, Mr. Peenee!

The late Bette Davis clutches her pearls as she's informed she shares her birthday with Mr. Peenee ...



Miss Davis insists he partake of her cake...



Cheers to Mr. Peenee!...



Vodka shots, anyone?...



Happy birthday, PEENEE!

Sunday, April 02, 2017

New Feature on Infomaniac

A few of you eagle-eyed Bitches have noticed that there’s a new feature on Infomaniac’s sidebar.

Today, for example, you’ll see a photo of actress Drew Barrymore.



A few days from now, the photo will change to something else.

Below the sidebar photo it says, “Drew Barrymore Banned on Infomaniac.”

Above the sidebar photo, it says, "Click pic for details." If you click on the photo, it will lead you to an article.

Every so often, The Mistress will change the sidebar photo and the caption. Simply click on the photo to find out what it’s all about. You’ll be lead to an article or news item of some sort.

So why is Drew Barrymore banned on Infomaniac, you ask? Well, if you click on the photo, you’ll see the headline, “Drew Barrymore Named Crocs Brand Ambassador.” That should be all you need to know. The Mistress bans anyone wearing Crocs, approving of Crocs, and especially becoming an AMBASSADOR for Crocs.

The Mistress will not rest until Crocs are banished from the face of the Earth.

p.s. We hope you enjoy this new feature on Infomaniac.

Saturday, April 01, 2017

Friday, March 31, 2017

Justin Trudeau Cardboard Cutout

Just in time for your next party...



74 inches. Our cardboard cutout of Justin Trudeau. All cardboard cutouts come folded and have an easel attached to the back to be self-standing. Items are printed and produced to order. Printing and processing takes up to 5 business days plus shipping time.

All Products Made in America
High-quality printed image
Heavy-duty corrugated cardboard
Attached easel included
Free-standing or can hang on wall

Price: $59.99 U.S.

Available here.

Unless you've been told to cut it out.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Eldridge Cleaver's Penis Pants

Eldridge Cleaver (1935-1998) was an American writer, political activist, marijuana dealer, crack addict, born-again Christian, Presidential candidate, prisoner, flowerpot maker, and prominent early leader of the Black Panthers.

And the inventor of  penis pants...



Oh, and he was a serial rapist, but more about that later.

His unique trousers were known as "The Cleavers," not to be mistaken for that fictional TV family on the 1960s "Leave it to Beaver"...



Unlike other pants on the market, The Cleavers were tailored to accommodate a man's sex organ.



Jet magazine.

The Cleavers were constructed with two types of eye-catching pouches: one was an oval shaped like a football player's jockey cup and the other featured a tubular shaped extension for the man's penis and an adjoining smaller pouch for his testicles.

"Heat has a decomposing impact on the sperm and traditional pants press the penis underneath the belly. My pants take it back out," Cleaver said.

He enthused that the pants would give men "a chance to assert their masculinity." Did we mention he was a rapist?

Partial transcription of the advertisement text is below the image...


Walking Tall ... Walking Proud ... Walking Softly but Carrying It Big

You'll Be Cock of the Walk with the NEW FALL COLLECTION from ELDRIDGE de PARIS
Life is just a chain of daisies when you slip into (careful, now) these revolutionary hot pants – with their ever-so-daring accent provacateur – just unveiled by famous radical designer Edridge Cleaver of Paris. They’re bad, they’re mad, they’re up front (but never out of sight)... and, of course, they’re for men only… REAL men… the three-fisted variety. ‘There’s no mistaking they are men’s pants,’ says M. Cleaver (seen here modeling a high-waisted two-tone pair of ‘Cleavers’ with side zipper and matching ‘appurtenance.’ ‘The pants that men wear now will be seen as girls’ pants after my models are sold. And don’t forget…heavy on the starch!
Eldridge Cleaver was introduced to the art of sewing while he was a prisoner in California. There, he was assigned to the clothing factory as a thread snipper. The idea to design his own pants came when he was exiled in Paris.

Cleaver viewed his pants as the ultimate in men's clothing and insisted that in five years they would be the sartorial norm. 

But wait! There's more!...




Photo: Jet magazine.

Although we here at Infomaniac are amused by the Cleaver crotch, we cannot gloss over the fact that Cleaver acknowledged committing acts of rape. He stated that he initially raped black women in the ghetto "for practice" and then embarked on the serial rape of white women. He described these crimes as politically inspired, motivated by a genuine conviction that the rape of white women was "an insurrectionary act".

The pants were never a great commercial success. Eldridge Cleaver later became a Republican and a Mormon. He died in 1998, age 62.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Infomaniac Highlights the Chi-Lites

Turn on the radio in the early 1970s and you heard the sweet soul sound of The Chi-Lites (pronounced SHY-lights)...



More than 30 years later, they would inspire Beyoncé's debut solo smash hit, "Crazy in Love." But more about that later.



These four friends from Chicago were Eugene Record (lead singer), Marshall Thompson, Robert "Squirrel" Lester, and Creadel Jones.

They had 11 Top 20 R&B hits between 1969 and 1974.

It was a pair of romantic ballads, "Have You Seen Her (1971)" and "Oh Girl (1972)," that put them at the top of the charts.

The group also took on social issues with songs like, "(For God's Sake) Give More Power to the People"  and  "There Will Never Be Any Peace (Until God Is Seated at the Conference Table)." How's that for a title?

The Chi-Lites are also remembered for their costumes, which they designed themselves.

Bright, eye-popping colours!...


Big, bold bow ties!...


Behold the "dog ear collar" of the 1970s...


The Chi-Lites were all about the dog ear collar...




Now, back to Beyoncé.

I'm sure you Bitches recognize the horn hook from Beyoncé's hit single, "Crazy in Love."



That blast of brass is sampled from The Chi-Lites' 1970 song,"Are You My Woman (Tell Me So)."

It's that Chi-Lites hook that makes Beyoncé's song. When asked what makes "Crazy in Love" so infectious, Beyoncé admitted, "It’s the horn hook. It has this go-go feel to it, this old-school feel."

Listen to the first 14 seconds of Are You My Woman (especially from 0:09-0:14) and you'll understand the "Crazy in Love" connection.

Unfortunately, financial scandals, drug addictions and violent tragedies took their toll on the group. Creadel Jones died homeless after his record label, Brunswick Records refused to send him royalties. Only one of the original four members (Marshall Thompson) survives.

There isn't a lot of in-depth material about them online, at this point. The Mistress isn't saying they were the best group on the soul circuit but they certainly deserve to be more than a footnote in music history.

If you're so inclined, you might enjoying listening to the hearfelt "Oh Girl."
Warning: Dog ear collar alert! (and puffy sleeves)


Which of The Chi-Lites' looks could you wear with confidence?

Monday, March 27, 2017

Cross Country Couch

To celebrate Canada's 150th anniversary, a red couch is touring the country...



Two Polish immigrants, Peter Sobierajski and Ela Kinowska are the team behind the Red Couch Tour.

Canadians are invited to sit on the couch and, with cameras rolling, say what Canada means to them.



Their stories will be captured as short video clips and shared on social media.
Upon completion of the project, the team hopes to make a film about the tour.

“Sofas are part of our lifestyles. It represents everybody’s story,” Kinowska says. “We’re taking a symbol of gathering, joy and love out of Canadians’ living rooms and bringing it to people from all walks of life to sit together and talk about our beautiful country.”

The couch has already visited the North.





This summer, the couch will embark on an east-to-west tour by train, RV, and ferry from St. John’s, Newfoundland to Victoria, British Columbia.

The video clips I've watched reflect the pride Canadians feel about this nation; how it's a land of opportunity, freedom and diversity.

The stories so far are mostly upbeat. One man described how he's the only person who has ever skied under a moose! But the story that moved me the most was related by an older, indigenous man.

Note: The image below is a screen capture so the "play" button doesn't work.

Here's what he said...

Canada in 150 years, to me? It's not a very good story.

When I was a young man, my country had a lot of wild animals, birds, insects, fish. A lot of wildlife. Today, my country is very quiet.

Canada in 150 years has killed my country, my people, my tradition and my land. I have nothing to celebrate. It took them 150 years to destroy what was here for thousands and thousands and thousands of years. That's my opinion.

His story is a reminder that even though this is an extraordinary country that welcomes people from all over the world, we have treated our own indigenous people with disrespect. (In future, I'll discuss the tragedy and shame that is our relation with Canada's indigenous people.)

But over to you now. What item (it doesn't have to be a piece of furniture) would you like to see touring your country?

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Gone But Not Forgotten

Do you Bitches ever use cemetery databases to search for the burial sites of ancestors or celebrities?


The Mistress uses one such database to look at a certain someone's grave from time to time ... to make sure he's still dead.


[via]

Yes, it's the simple pleasures in life that bring joy to The Mistress.

Saturday, March 25, 2017

I Will Smite Thee



I know you'll find this hard to believe but The Mistress can be critical.



I think we all agree that a little snark is a wonderful thing. But what if your attitude is petty or just plain wrong?

Allow me to give you an example.

Location: The express lane of a grocery store.



The Mistress notices that the customer in front of her has at least THIRTY items in her shopping cart. The express lane limit is TEN items.

The following brief conversation ensues:

The Mistress: (snarkily) It looks like this express lane is no longer limited to 10 or fewer items. Did they forget to change the signage?

Customer: None of the other lanes were open so this cashier said I could use the express lane.

Embarrassed by her faux pas, The Mistress feigns interest in a sale in the incontinence feminine hygiene aisle and beats a hasty retreat...


[via]

It was early in the morning, there were few shoppers in the store, and the cashier was being kind by offering express lane services to the customer. Had The Mistress not jumped to the conclusion that the customer was trying to pull a fast one by sneaking into the express lane with a full cart, she could have saved herself embarrassment.

The above scenario illustrates The Mistress's tendency to open her mouth before thinking through a situation.

The Mistress has been trying to be less critical of others (with the exception of striking down anyone wearing Crocs) but unfortunately, instead of improving, she's getting worse! The more she tries to hold her tongue, the more she can't resist opening her mouth and saying something she may regret.

How can The Mistress be more tactful in situations of all sorts? Your suggestions are welcome.