Crisco Party Meets Butter Stick Treatment

Let's combine the fun of a Crisco party with the therapeutic benefits of an Infomaniac House of Beauty Butter Stick Treatment...

Crisco Butter Flavor Shortening Sticks!

Like Buttah

HEADLINE...

Full story here. 

Trucks last seen en route to the Infomaniac House of Beauty.

Miss Scarlet's famous "Butter Stick Treatment" at the Infomaniac House of Beauty. Legal proceedings pending.

New Product

The Infomaniac House of Beauty and the Infomaniac Medical Clinic combine to bring you a product for our times, seen here modelled by Miss Scarlet...

Before we can market it to the masses, it needs a name. It also needs a promotional blurb; something that will convince the public to buy it. 

Suggestions?

Meanwhile, Back at the Infomaniac House of Beauty

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Wenis Wednesday - Winter Skin Care Edition

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Visit the Infomaniac House of Beauty for regular treatments.

Meanwhile, Back at the Infomaniac House of Beauty...

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Prevent "turkey neck" with the Cleopatra Mask.

Now with Wings. 

Wieners Galore

Congratulations! You are the lucky wiener of a weekend at the Infomaniac House of Beauty.


[thanks, Thom!]

Skin Care Secrets

Pity our poor Norma…


(click to enlarge)

You see, Norma has dry, lifeless "middle-age" skin.

And she’s losing love over it!

So we here at the Infomaniac House of Beauty want to do something about it.

Share YOUR skin care secrets with us so that Norma may regain her youthful glow.

Spa Day Sunday

Miss Normadesmond and Mr. Peenee enjoying a spa treatment at The Infomaniac House of Beauty…

Won't you join them?

Infomaniac House of Beauty

With her amazing Rejuvenique Anti-wrinkle Facial Toning Machine turned up to eleven, Mistress MJ is enjoying a much-deserved spa day at the Infomaniac House of Beauty…

[via]

Afterall, if it’s good enough for Linda Evans…



By delivering a light pulsation from a 9-volt battery (included), the 26 gold-plated contact points inside this facemask gradually tone the skin and reduce the appearance of wrinkling. The mask's control unit has a knob that adjusts the pulsation intensity to suit individual preference.

Beauty Break

Mistress MJ is rejuvenating at The Infomaniac House of Beauty and will join you later this week.

[via]

Introducing Our New Nail Technician

Welcome once again to The Infomaniac House of Beauty.

While you’re here, why not book an appointment with our new nail technician, Roxy?

Let ROXY give you the Pee-wee’s Playhouse Manicure Special!

Treat your fingernails to Clocky, Chairy the Chair, Penny, Pee-wee, one of The Flowers, Globey, an ant from the Ant Farm, Magic Screen, Jambi, and Mr. Window.

Today’s Secret Word is MANICURE.

And remember what to do when you hear the secret word.

SCREAM REAL LOUD!

For more on how this look was created, click here.

Perfect Posture

A book balanced on your head for posture can double as a hat!

We have two reasons to celebrate today.

The Infomaniac House of Beauty is back in business!

And the vodka fountain has been repaired!

We feel it best not to discuss the Infomaniac House of Beauty’s sordid closing nor the subsequent legal proceedings.

Instead, let us busy ourselves with learning how to walk like ladies with perfect posture.

Everybody take an empty glass and place it on your head.

Chest out, shoulders down, heads up and look straight ahead.

Are you ready?

Now march to the vodka fountain and fill up your glasses!

Such a Pretty Me

We find Mr. Peenee in a quandary, posing this question…

Let me point out now how very disappointed I have been in my female friends, none of whom will go with me to get a manicure. What's with that?

Mistress MJ enjoys attending “Spa Days” with her gays.

If we’re feeling flush, we’ll all book appointments at a chichi spa together.

Otherwise, we’ll take turns having spa parties in each others’ homes.

Bring your own Barbicide, bitches!

So we’d like to know…

Do you, as a fag hag, enjoy going with your gays to the spa?

Do you as a fag, want your gal pals to come along with you?

And as for you straight blokes and non-spa-type-gays, what do you do to make yourselves feel pretty?

Filthy Friday – Infomaniac House of Beauty Edition

Health and safety inspectors (pictured below) investigate conditions at the Infomaniac House of Beauty …


[thanks again, Kapitano]

Legal Proceedings

Legal Proceedings are underway regarding The Infomaniac House of Beauty versus The Mean Dirty Pirate Leprosarium.



Mistress MJ has been advised by her legal team not to talk about “matters under investigation”.

Infomaniac House of Beauty Closed

We regret to inform you that the Infomaniac House of Beauty is closed, pending further investigation due to a faulty electric face mask …



All clients will receive a full refund.

We regret any inconvenience this may cause and look forward to your patronage when we reopen for business.

Disclaimer: The Infomaniac House of Beauty is not responsible for allergic reactions, spotty skin appearance, burning sensations or unusual leakage following any treatments with our beautician Miss Scarlet.

Official Infomaniac Beautician

The Infomaniac House of Beauty has hired Miss Scarlet as Official Infomaniac Beautician.

Miss Scarlet’s most famous client is Miss Bubbles Devere (pictured below)…



As you can see, Miss Devere is a work in progress.

But never mind that.

Miss Scarlet is now accepting bookings from you, the Bitches of Infomaniac.

Treat yourself to one (or all!) of the following services:

Anal Bleaching (using Elizabethan Period arsenic)

Coffee Enema (guaranteed to “perk” you up!)

Bush Whacking (tames unruly bushes!)

Back, Sack and Crack Waxing

Stick of Butter Treatment (if you have to ask, you don’t want to know)

Super Detox Purification Total Energy Renewal Optimal Health Fat Flush Anti-Aging Miracle Cleanse Solution

“Happy Ending” Massage

And now we break for a word from our sponsor.

We here at the Infomaniac House of Beauty would like to introduce a fabulous new skin care product …

VELVA CREAM!


[via Normadesmond]

This is the magic potion that keeps our Normadesmond’s velva looking young and smooth.

Try it today!

Spa Day

Over at Jason’s place, Mr. Peenee suggested we get manis and pedis and get ourselves some updos.

The Infomaniac House of Beauty is happy to accommodate Mr. Peenee and his friends with a Spa Day.


Pictured above: Mr. Peenee has his nails polished, flanked by Normadesmond, Jason and Felix.


Let’s peek under the dryers, shall we? …


Felix: Well this kabuki zero is a friend of mine. He's really a terrible man-trap. He's got those eyes that run up and down a man like a searchlight.


Here we see manicurist Olga applying a coat of Jungle Red to the catty Ayem8y’s talons …


Oh, you remember the awful things they said about what's-her-name before she jumped out the window? There. You see? I can't even remember her name so who cares?


Meanwhile over at the tranquility bath, Ayem8y (left) and Miss kabuki zero exchange words …



There is a name for you, ladies, but it isn't used in high society... outside of a kennel.

And now we return to the lovely Peenee …

Et voilà! Mr. Peenee has been transformed! …


I've had two years to grow claws , Mother. Jungle Red!

So won’t the rest of you bitches join us for a Spa Day at the Infomaniac House of Beauty?

Oh, just one more thing …

Mr. Peenee asks …“Why doncha run down to the drive-through Daiquiri Barn and get us a couple of buckets?”

Well bitches? What are you waiting for? You heard the lady!

You WILL Be Prettier!

Mistress MJ is fed up with you lot looking frumpy and unkempt.

Watch this brief video clip and take note!


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"You WILL be prettier, you WILL be more popular!" Dammit!

This important message is brought to you by the Infomaniac House of Beauty.