Thursday, March 20, 2008

Fly Me

Infomaniac Airlines is now boarding.




Where do you want me to take you?
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35 comments:

  1. Romeo Morningwood1:28 AM, March 20, 2008

    YAY First!

    "Fly me to the moon
    And let me play among the stars
    Let me see what Spring is like
    On Jupiter and Mars"

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Mistress1:49 AM, March 20, 2008

    DONN: Spring on Jupiter and Mars can only be warmer than Winnipeg.

    ReplyDelete
  3. BEAST3:30 AM, March 20, 2008

    mj I hope i will get an automatic upgrade to 1st class , and dont have to sit with the likes of Piggy and IVD in steerage.....can you imagine a sea of polyester and cheap aftershave

    ReplyDelete
  4. Betty3:55 AM, March 20, 2008

    To the Galaxy Of Lerrrve, travelling at Warp Factor Three with Crown Heights Affair. Well, everyone tells me I only like disco music ... http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=VauGj5Q1xdg

    ReplyDelete
  5. Inexplicable DeVice5:12 AM, March 20, 2008

    Steerage!? Beast, I'll have you know I only went back there to insert a champagne bottle quite a long way into Piggy to stop his whining.

    * swishes through the losers in First Class on way through to the Club Lounge *

    Ummm... Hang on. Are you flying this thing, MJ?

    * readies self for an emergency exit *

    ReplyDelete
  6. tony5:14 AM, March 20, 2008

    take me on a trip upon your magic swirling ship..............(with Easter Eggs Seved By Cabin Crew)

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  7. Bittersweet5:19 AM, March 20, 2008

    never never land


    *wistful sigh*

    ReplyDelete
  8. Miss Smuggersham5:49 AM, March 20, 2008

    You know... I've been to paradise... but I've... never. Been. To. Me.

    Sorry. I *simply* had to do that.

    ReplyDelete
  9. CyberPete6:14 AM, March 20, 2008

    Take me to the popstars on the moon

    I sure hope there is an open bar

    ReplyDelete
  10. ellie6:49 AM, March 20, 2008

    I overheard Knudsen say he wanted to take you up the Khyber Pass

    ReplyDelete
  11. savannah8:25 AM, March 20, 2008

    ...away, sugar. at this point, i don't give a fuck where!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous9:10 AM, March 20, 2008

    ... back to bed - I am getting chilly?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Geoff9:13 AM, March 20, 2008

    I only fly Mandy, not MJ.

    Is that a bottle of bourbon I see under the dashboard?

    ReplyDelete
  14. The Mistress10:48 AM, March 20, 2008

    BEAST: Not to mention the after effects of Piggy and IVD having just eaten a dodgy curry.

    BETTY: We’ll drop you off at the Disco Mausoleum.

    IVD: Yes, I’m flying this plane.

    I trained under this pilot.

    TONY: This flight leaves in the jingle jangle morning.

    BITTERSWEET: Neverland?

    Michael Jackson awaits you for his sleepover.

    T-BIRD: So you’ve been undressed by kings and seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see?

    Do tell!

    CYBERPOO: I’ve laundered your Sailor Moon costume so you can be the airline hostess.

    ELLIE: Not until he’s been to Uranus.

    SAVANNAH: Right then.

    If you’re so amenable, YOU can sit beside Piggy and IVD.

    MUTLEY: I don’t care if it’s on Oprah’s list.

    I’m not buying you the Burberry dog sweater.

    GEOFF: If you’re flying Mandy you’re not going to need that bourbon.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous11:28 AM, March 20, 2008

    Take me away like Calgon!!, preferably to a warm climate place with nude beaches, strong drinks and men I don't know willing to do depraved things to me..... anywhere but this fucking office babysitting grown ass people!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. KAZ11:48 AM, March 20, 2008

    Well that's certainly not Virgin Airlines.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Jenny11:57 AM, March 20, 2008

    oh jeez, I forgot my I.D. Can I still board? Plus, I have "special" dietry requests for my food. What? You're full?

    Damn.

    P.S. I'd like to see sun. Warm sun. It's been a long time.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Tickersoid12:05 PM, March 20, 2008

    If you can spread your wings the way you spread your legs we could go all the way to Barry Island.

    ReplyDelete
  19. INNER VOICES12:21 PM, March 20, 2008

    is there going to be a flock of geese following this plane? other wise a flight to the furrows of gluteal sounds warm and sweaty enough...

    ReplyDelete
  20. CyberPete1:02 PM, March 20, 2008

    YAY!

    That is my fantasy career

    can I wear 9 inch stilettos?

    ReplyDelete
  21. The Mistress1:24 PM, March 20, 2008

    QUCIFER: NWT Runner hasn’t popped by yet but I believe you’re high on his depravity list.

    KAZ: No it’s not Virgin Airlines which means that you have frequent flier points and can ride for free.

    BOXER: What ID?

    You’re anonymous.

    TICKERS: Cheeky bugger.

    You’ll have to remove your Carmen Miranda headpiece as there’s a height clearance restriction in effect.

    VOICES: As long as it’s not a Flock of Seagulls.

    I don’t want their hair getting stuck in the engine.

    CYBERPOOF: Yes, you may wear your nine-inch heels, nine-inch nails AND have a starring role in Air Hostess Wars!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Jenny1:57 PM, March 20, 2008

    I like your airline. Window seat please. And can I be behind Old K? If he falls asleep (and he will) it could be my chance. For the hat.

    ReplyDelete
  23. BEAST2:08 PM, March 20, 2008

    This is so exciting .....

    Will Piggy retract his undercarraige after take off.

    Will IVD and Tim join the mile high club.

    Will old knudy get his complementary nuts

    Why does that trolley dolly look like Frobisher

    ReplyDelete
  24. BEAST2:09 PM, March 20, 2008

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Bittersweet2:15 PM, March 20, 2008

    anonymous boxer - i was going to put up a fight for Old Knudsen but, on reflection, i think you would win.

    if there is anything left over ...

    ReplyDelete
  26. The Mistress2:47 PM, March 20, 2008

    BOXER: Don’t sit behind Knudsen.

    He’s had the dodgy curry.

    BEAST: There’s a mattress in the cockpit that looks like Frobi.

    And please put your shoes and socks back on. There have been complaints.

    BITTERSWEET: It’s MY airline so I get Knudsen’s cap.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Jenny3:37 PM, March 20, 2008

    Bittersweet - I don't know.... I'd win only if I had a chance to smack you when you weren't looking.... plus, it APPEARS MJ's gotten all bossy with the fact that it's her airplane.

    And the shoe comment? They need a little airing, that's why I want to go to a sunny place.

    ReplyDelete
  28. CyberPete4:25 PM, March 20, 2008

    Wow I hope they make an english languaged version of that.

    It's so catty I love it!

    I'll be sure to be (the only) one to watch

    ReplyDelete
  29. INNER VOICES4:26 PM, March 20, 2008

    I'll ride in steerage please. at least i'll know who im sitting next to.

    ReplyDelete
  30. The Mistress5:20 PM, March 20, 2008

    BOXER: Get your own airline.

    CYBERSLUT: Are there soaps in Denmark?

    If so, send me a link, please.

    VOICES: This flight is full.

    You’ll sit in the overhead baggage bin and you won’t complain about it.

    Knudsen will open the latch occasionally to feed you nuts.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Peevish McSnark5:23 PM, March 20, 2008

    Take me down to Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty...

    And hopefully where there's lots of sun, sand, and free tequila.

    ReplyDelete
  32. INNER VOICES5:39 PM, March 20, 2008

    om, okay.... where are we going again? has anybody decided yet? or are the blow up dolls driving?

    ReplyDelete
  33. Manuel7:32 PM, March 20, 2008

    the bathrooms......tata

    ReplyDelete
  34. Miss Smuggersham7:44 PM, March 20, 2008

    Well, I've not been undressed by any Kings to the best of my knowledge - but who knows what sort of incognito royalty may have been slumming it?

    As for the things that no woman should have seen? Let's just put it down to the carnivale going on inside IDV's head.

    No woman needs to know that much.

    ReplyDelete
  35. The Mistress8:32 PM, March 20, 2008

    PEEVISH: Tequila shooters are available at the bar, on board.

    Infomaniac is not responsible for your behaviour. Drink responsibly.

    VOICES: Let go of the blowup doll so she can steer this thing.

    MANUEL: Line up for the loo with the rest of the passengers who are headed for the Mile High Club.

    And when you’re finished in there, put the seat down!

    T-BIRD: Looking inside IVD’s head is like looking into a funhouse mirror.

    ReplyDelete

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