Friday, March 31, 2017

Justin Trudeau Cardboard Cutout

Just in time for your next party...

74 inches. Our cardboard cutout of Justin Trudeau. All cardboard cutouts come folded and have an easel attached to the back to be self-standing. Items are printed and produced to order. Printing and processing takes up to 5 business days plus shipping time.

All Products Made in America
High-quality printed image
Heavy-duty corrugated cardboard
Attached easel included
Free-standing or can hang on wall

Price: $59.99 U.S.

Available here.

Unless you've been told to cut it out.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Eldridge Cleaver's Penis Pants

Eldridge Cleaver (1935-1998) was an American writer, political activist, marijuana dealer, crack addict, born-again Christian, Presidential candidate, prisoner, flowerpot maker, and prominent early leader of the Black Panthers.

And the inventor of  penis pants...

Oh, and he was a serial rapist, but more about that later.

His unique trousers were known as "The Cleavers," not to be mistaken for that fictional TV family on the 1960s "Leave it to Beaver"...

Unlike other pants on the market, The Cleavers were tailored to accommodate a man's sex organ.

Jet magazine.

The Cleavers were constructed with two types of eye-catching pouches: one was an oval shaped like a football player's jockey cup and the other featured a tubular shaped extension for the man's penis and an adjoining smaller pouch for his testicles.

"Heat has a decomposing impact on the sperm and traditional pants press the penis underneath the belly. My pants take it back out," Cleaver said.

He enthused that the pants would give men "a chance to assert their masculinity." Did we mention he was a rapist?

Partial transcription of the advertisement text is below the image...

Walking Tall ... Walking Proud ... Walking Softly but Carrying It Big

You'll Be Cock of the Walk with the NEW FALL COLLECTION from ELDRIDGE de PARIS
Life is just a chain of daisies when you slip into (careful, now) these revolutionary hot pants – with their ever-so-daring accent provacateur – just unveiled by famous radical designer Edridge Cleaver of Paris. They’re bad, they’re mad, they’re up front (but never out of sight)... and, of course, they’re for men only… REAL men… the three-fisted variety. ‘There’s no mistaking they are men’s pants,’ says M. Cleaver (seen here modeling a high-waisted two-tone pair of ‘Cleavers’ with side zipper and matching ‘appurtenance.’ ‘The pants that men wear now will be seen as girls’ pants after my models are sold. And don’t forget…heavy on the starch!
Eldridge Cleaver was introduced to the art of sewing while he was a prisoner in California. There, he was assigned to the clothing factory as a thread snipper. The idea to design his own pants came when he was exiled in Paris.

Cleaver viewed his pants as the ultimate in men's clothing and insisted that in five years they would be the sartorial norm. 

But wait! There's more!...

Photo: Jet magazine.

Although we here at Infomaniac are amused by the Cleaver crotch, we cannot gloss over the fact that Cleaver acknowledged committing acts of rape. He stated that he initially raped black women in the ghetto "for practice" and then embarked on the serial rape of white women. He described these crimes as politically inspired, motivated by a genuine conviction that the rape of white women was "an insurrectionary act".

The pants were never a great commercial success. Eldridge Cleaver later became a Republican and a Mormon. He died in 1998, age 62.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Infomaniac Highlights the Chi-Lites

Turn on the radio in the early 1970s and you heard the sweet soul sound of The Chi-Lites (pronounced SHY-lights)...

More than 30 years later, they would inspire Beyoncé's debut solo smash hit, "Crazy in Love." But more about that later.

These four friends from Chicago were Eugene Record (lead singer), Marshall Thompson, Robert "Squirrel" Lester, and Creadel Jones.

They had 11 Top 20 R&B hits between 1969 and 1974.

It was a pair of romantic ballads, "Have You Seen Her (1971)" and "Oh Girl (1972)," that put them at the top of the charts.

The group also took on social issues with songs like, "(For God's Sake) Give More Power to the People"  and  "There Will Never Be Any Peace (Until God Is Seated at the Conference Table)." How's that for a title?

The Chi-Lites are also remembered for their costumes, which they designed themselves.

Bright, eye-popping colours!...

Big, bold bow ties!...

Behold the "dog ear collar" of the 1970s...

The Chi-Lites were all about the dog ear collar...

Now, back to Beyoncé.

I'm sure you Bitches recognize the horn hook from Beyoncé's hit single, "Crazy in Love."

That blast of brass is sampled from The Chi-Lites' 1970 song,"Are You My Woman (Tell Me So)."

It's that Chi-Lites hook that makes Beyoncé's song. When asked what makes "Crazy in Love" so infectious, Beyoncé admitted, "It’s the horn hook. It has this go-go feel to it, this old-school feel."

Listen to the first 14 seconds of Are You My Woman (especially from 0:09-0:14) and you'll understand the "Crazy in Love" connection.

Unfortunately, financial scandals, drug addictions and violent tragedies took their toll on the group. Creadel Jones died homeless after his record label, Brunswick Records refused to send him royalties. Only one of the original four members (Marshall Thompson) survives.

There isn't a lot of in-depth material about them online, at this point. The Mistress isn't saying they were the best group on the soul circuit but they certainly deserve to be more than a footnote in music history.

If you're so inclined, you might enjoying listening to the hearfelt "Oh Girl."
Warning: Dog ear collar alert! (and puffy sleeves)

Which of The Chi-Lites' looks could you wear with confidence?

Monday, March 27, 2017

Cross Country Couch

To celebrate Canada's 150th anniversary, a red couch is touring the country...

Two Polish immigrants, Peter Sobierajski and Ela Kinowska are the team behind the Red Couch Tour.

Canadians are invited to sit on the couch and, with cameras rolling, say what Canada means to them.

Their stories will be captured as short video clips and shared on social media.
Upon completion of the project, the team hopes to make a film about the tour.

“Sofas are part of our lifestyles. It represents everybody’s story,” Kinowska says. “We’re taking a symbol of gathering, joy and love out of Canadians’ living rooms and bringing it to people from all walks of life to sit together and talk about our beautiful country.”

The couch has already visited the North.

This summer, the couch will embark on an east-to-west tour by train, RV, and ferry from St. John’s, Newfoundland to Victoria, British Columbia.

The video clips I've watched reflect the pride Canadians feel about this nation; how it's a land of opportunity, freedom and diversity.

The stories so far are mostly upbeat. One man described how he's the only person who has ever skied under a moose! But the story that moved me the most was related by an older, indigenous man.

Note: The image below is a screen capture so the "play" button doesn't work.

Here's what he said...

Canada in 150 years, to me? It's not a very good story.

When I was a young man, my country had a lot of wild animals, birds, insects, fish. A lot of wildlife. Today, my country is very quiet.

Canada in 150 years has killed my country, my people, my tradition and my land. I have nothing to celebrate. It took them 150 years to destroy what was here for thousands and thousands and thousands of years. That's my opinion.

His story is a reminder that even though this is an extraordinary country that welcomes people from all over the world, we have treated our own indigenous people with disrespect. (In future, I'll discuss the tragedy and shame that is our relation with Canada's indigenous people.)

But over to you now. What item (it doesn't have to be a piece of furniture) would you like to see touring your country?

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Gone But Not Forgotten

Do you Bitches ever use cemetery databases to search for the burial sites of ancestors or celebrities?

The Mistress uses one such database to look at a certain someone's grave from time to time ... to make sure he's still dead.


Yes, it's the simple pleasures in life that bring joy to The Mistress.

Saturday, March 25, 2017

I Will Smite Thee

I know you'll find this hard to believe but The Mistress can be critical.

I think we all agree that a little snark is a wonderful thing. But what if your attitude is petty or just plain wrong?

Allow me to give you an example.

Location: The express lane of a grocery store.

The Mistress notices that the customer in front of her has at least THIRTY items in her shopping cart. The express lane limit is TEN items.

The following brief conversation ensues:

The Mistress: (snarkily) It looks like this express lane is no longer limited to 10 or fewer items. Did they forget to change the signage?

Customer: None of the other lanes were open so this cashier said I could use the express lane.

Embarrassed by her faux pas, The Mistress feigns interest in a sale in the incontinence feminine hygiene aisle and beats a hasty retreat...


It was early in the morning, there were few shoppers in the store, and the cashier was being kind by offering express lane services to the customer. Had The Mistress not jumped to the conclusion that the customer was trying to pull a fast one by sneaking into the express lane with a full cart, she could have saved herself embarrassment.

The above scenario illustrates The Mistress's tendency to open her mouth before thinking through a situation.

The Mistress has been trying to be less critical of others (with the exception of striking down anyone wearing Crocs) but unfortunately, instead of improving, she's getting worse! The more she tries to hold her tongue, the more she can't resist opening her mouth and saying something she may regret.

How can The Mistress be more tactful in situations of all sorts? Your suggestions are welcome.

Friday, March 24, 2017

Fashion Crime at McDonald's

Gevondis Demond Joseph, 29, of Port Arthur, Texas was charged with aggravated robbery of a McDonald's in Groves, Texas ... with a hairbrush.

The suspect walked into the McDonald's and demanded money, giving the employees the impression that he had a handgun in his pocket. It turned out to be a hairbrush.

Groves City Marshal Norman Reynolds, Jr. said, "He was in and out pretty quick. I don't think he got an Egg McMuffin or anything."

We here at Infomaniac hope that the supsect will also be charged for committing a fashion crime: wearing a leopard-print robe, orange gloves and ORANGE CROCS.

"I'm not sure if he was out late or up early. We don't really know why he was dressed like that," said Reynolds. "Maybe he thought he was going to Walmart and wanted to make the Top 20... what are they called? Walmartians?"

Unfortunately, we here at Infomaniac were not able to obtain a photo of the suspect's footwear. In their place, we present the equally offensive ORANGE CROCS of chef Mario Batali...

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Cheers to Eleven Years

The Mistress has been cranking out this blog for 11 years now...

We here at Infomaniac hope you've been enjoying yourselves as much as I have.

Here's to Infomaniac and to Infomaniac Bitches!

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Mr. DeVice - Birthday Boy

Happy birthday, Mr. DeVice!...

Do my eyes deceive me or is the young Mr. DeVice grasping a pair of fuzzy dice?

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Snow Pants

For those of you in milder climes who have never seen SNOW PANTS, behold...

Snow pants are bulky, insulated, waterproof, windproof trousers designed to keep you warm and dry when the temperature plummets. They're ideal if you engage in winter sports, live almost anywhere in Canada or spend a lot of time waiting for public transit on frigid days.

They usually have an elasticized waist, making it easy to slip them over your regular trousers.

Most snow pants have boot gaiters: an elasticized cuff on the inner bottom of the pants. On days with deep snowfall, these gaiters prevent the snow from filling up your boots.

Many folk would not be caught dead in snow pants after the age of FIVE but those of us who require an extra layer of warmth are willing to look ridiculous.

Only last week, I ventured out to the ravine for a walk when I sunk up to my hips in snow. Yes, that's how deep it was and thankfully, I was wearing my snow pants.

Rather embarrassingly, snow  pants make a swishing sound as you walk; the result of the fabric from one leg rubbing against the other leg. You cannot walk quietly in snow pants.

Go on and laugh at this fashion folly. The Mistress has restocked the "Banned" stickers and is ready to use them.

Note: We are aware that the British word for underpants is "pants" so extra "Banned" stickers have been ordered for anyone thinking, "oh how funny...The Mistress wears snow underpants!"

Monday, March 20, 2017

Somewhere, it is Spring

The first day of spring officially begins on Monday, March 20, 2017.

But not in Canada, it seems.

We hope it's much more springlike wherever you are, Bitches.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Happy Birthday, Damien!

On Wednesday, March 15...

We have CAKE...


for our very own Wonder Warrior, Damien...

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Testicle Tuesday in the Pink Room

It's been two years since we've visited the Pink Room. Let's pop in and see what's happening, shall we?...


Monday, March 13, 2017

Texas Hold'em

$100 fine for jerking off.


A Texas state lawmaker introduced Bill 4260 that would fine men who masturbated for committing “an act against an unborn child.”

The Man’s Right to Know Act would set a $100 fine for ‘emissions outside a woman’s vagina’ and require unnecessary medical tests. The bill would require men to wait 24 hours after an “initial health care consultation” to receive an elective vasectomy, colonoscopy or Viagra prescription.

Jessica Farrar, a Democratic representative from Houston, Texas filed the satirical bill to regulate “masturbatory emissions” as a riposte to a slew of anti-abortion measures advocated by the state’s Republican politicians.

Farrar said, “Although HB 4260 is satirical, there is nothing funny about current healthcare restrictions for women and the very real legislation that is proposed every legislative session. Women are not laughing at state-imposed regulations and obstacles that interfere with their ability to legally access safe healthcare, and subject them to fake science and medically unnecessary procedures. Texans deserve to be treated with the same amount of respect when making healthcare decisions, regardless of their gender.”

She goes on to say, “What I would like to see is this make people stop and think. Maybe my colleagues aren’t capable of that, but the people who voted for them, or the people that didn’t vote at all, I hope that it changes their mind and helps them to decide what the priorities are.”

More details here.

Thanks to Infomaniac Bitch Jon in London, England for the news alert.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

The Year So Far

2016 was a year of ups and downs. And sometimes upside downs...


Now that we're into the third month of 2017, we here at Infomaniac would like to know...

How's 2017 working out for you, Bitches?

Friday, March 10, 2017

Talking Trash

How The Mistress imagines herself taking out the trash...

Closer to the reality...

Filthy Friday - Albolene Edition

Albolene. Cleans AND moisturizes...


Thursday, March 09, 2017

Aidan Turner Celebrates Miss Scarlet

Aidan: I'm on a fag break. Why are you bothering me, Mistress?...

The Mistress: It's Miss Scarlet's birthday.

Aidan: Why didn't you say so? Let me just saddle up (and make a quick costume change) and I'll be right there!...

Aidan: Hello, Miss Scarlet. Is it me you're looking for?...

Aidan: Damn and blast. I'm absolutely spent...

Aidan: I hate to eat and run but I really must go, Miss Scarlet. Besides, it's time for another fag...

Aidan: Bitches, raise your glasses to our Miss Scarlet!...

The Mistress: Happy Birthday, Miss Scarlet!

For even more Miss Scarlet celebrations, visit Mr. Device.