Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Call in Sick Day

Infomaniac declares this International Call in Sick Day.

What is your imaginary illness?


  1. I've broken a cam shaft in my fallopian tubes.

    Yeay I'm fist.

    Freudian slap.

  2. Ennui. Well it sounds better than saying "I'm bored"

  3. exploding haemoriods sounds fun to me

  4. My hard drive is floppy even though its full.

  5. I'm just sick of being bored.

    MJ: what's your excuse?

  6. I'm going with Anal Glaucoma for this one

    Is either gonna be that or twat fatigue (like Post Traumatic stress... but for the cooch!)

  7. Priapism aka 'Boogie Fever'...
    it's very contagious!

  8. TICKERS: Smile. You’re on tranny cam.

    BILLY: Everything sounds better in French.

    BEAST: Do they let you on airplanes with those?

    KNUDSEN: Why don’t you invite George Clooney round to clean out your cache?

    BETTY: Combine paranoia and toe fungus and you get Mycophobia digitalis.

    BITTERSWEET: Have you been messing about with Beast on his fireside rug?

    TATAS: I have Micropsia or Alice in Wonderland Syndrome where objects are perceived as being smaller than they actually are.

    One pill makes you larger
    And one pill makes you small
    And the ones that mother gives you
    Don't do anything at all
    Go ask Alice
    When shes ten feet tall

    KAZ: Rub salt into the wound, why don’t you?

    GEOFF: Green? Perhaps you’ve caught Betty’s fungus.

    QUCIFER: At least you caught it early before it turned into Twat Rot.

    DONN: Let me have a look.

    That looks like a small problem to me.

    But then again, I have Micropsia.

  9. A rash. But I need to talk to Old K first before I REALLY talk about it.

  10. I have VD.

    See - thats a conversation stopper.

  11. Too late, already came home from work.

    I wanted to call in sick though saying I was dizzy and had stomach issues.

    That's always a conversation stopper

    Seriously though, I feel like crap today and the only reason I went was so they didn't think I was bunking off because I got my new PC last night

  12. BOXER: You have “Knudsen Rash”?

    Don’t let him try to sell you ointment.

    It doesn’t work. Trust me.

    Snake oil salesman, that one.

    MUTLEY: Bacterial, viral or protozoal?

    CYBERSLUT: I’ll write a note for you for tomorrow.

  13. You're all sick.

    Not ill, just sick.

    I've got Repetitive Glottal Fellation Syndrome.

  14. I just saw a White rabbit ...
    That's good.

  15. KAPI: If only you could exercise more control over your glottis.

    Like a didgeridoo player.


    MAGO: Remember what the dormouse said.

  16. damn. sure wish I had come back to read comments earlier.

  17. Micronesia. It sounds like a disease, and my boss is too stupid to know it isn't.

  18. Joan Collins finger my butt and now I have a shredded sphincter.

  19. fingered. Fingered was wot i tryd to spel.

  20. Explosive diarrhea is a possibility, but I think I like Dr. Strangelove Syndrome.

  21. BOXER: You were too busy mooning.

    MANUEL: The hardest working waiter in Belfast needs me to write him a rain check sick note for tomorrow.

    After a week of Irish dancing mums and mobsters, you need time off.

    BREAKERSLION: Sounds like a country.

    T-BIRD: IVD knows all about shredded sphincters.

    He should have some ointment for you.

    MR. SHIFE: Are you referring to the alien hand?

    You can help me on days when I need to do some serious bitch slapping.

    Hey! Stop unbuttoning my blouse!

  22. Start to love ya.
    Language is a killer.

  23. Since I'm a slacker, should I even bother making up an imaginary illness or just go with my tired and true, "I just don't give a fuck"?

  24. MAGO: Language is a killer because language is a virus.

    MAIDY: Maidy?

    Funny, someone by that name used to comment here regularly.

    I wonder whatever happened to her?

  25. It's the bubonic plague. The symptoms started last week upon finding a mouse in my house. Headache, exhaustion, fever, and swollen lymph nodes.

    It's either the rodent or me and it looks as though the rodent is winning.

  26. PISSOFF: Ack! You've got mousepox!

  27. I suffer from Pikes Syndrome, it causes a sawdust deficiency which makes me sleepwalk. I have been found knawing on cheap IKEA furniture in the middle of the street.

  28. EDDIE: Put down that Billy Bookcase!

    You'll get dry rot!