Sunday, April 20, 2008

Open Mic

It’s Open Mic day at Infomaniac.

Step up to the microphone and say whatever’s on your mind.


  1. Hey Kids,

  2. *tap*

    *tappity tap*

    *tappity tap-tap*

    'Ello? Is this thing on?

    'Elllloooo? I said, is this thing on?

    Oh, okay.

    Open mic, heh?

    In that cause, can I use this mic to order a shot of vodka, a beer and some cognac on the side? I am thirsty.

    That is all.

  3. ****Beast is shy****

    ****blushes and runs off****

  4. We must prepare ourselves to meet our maker the day has cum to gather up all the tins of beans you can, all the bottled water and wank rags you can find and some kind of weapon like a .50 cal shooter or a pointed stick or something and hide hide hide under the stairs cos when our maker cums for the harvest or the Rapture he will take all the meaty wagons to feed his young but we will fight and bloody their noseless faces because no one will take the humans as food without a fight, well ok the Yanks will go without a fight because they'll be too busy complaining about their rights to be served with gravy .. They are here people, they walk among us.

  5. DONN: Sonny Bono said it best, man, in Pammie’s on a Bummer.

    (Trippy music takes a min to kick in)

    If you manage to stick out the entire 6 minutes, you’ll need drugs.

    AWA: Here’s our cocktail menu.

    BEAST: Oh my! Your cheeks have reddened.

    All four of them!

    KNUDSEN: Did you say they WANK among us?

    Then we’re going to need industrial-sized boxes of CUM-KLEEN personal wipes.

    I can get us a discount.

  6. Her name was Lola
    She was a showgirl
    With yellow feathers in her hair
    and her dress cut down to there
    She would merengue and do the cha cha
    and while she tried to be a star
    Tony always tended bar
    Across the crowded floor they worked from 8 to 4
    They were young and they had each other
    Who could ask for more
    At the Copa Copacabana the hottest spot in all of Havana
    At the Copa Copacabana music and passion were always a fashion
    At the Copa they fell in love
    His name was Rico
    He wore a diamond
    Was escorted to his chair and saw Lola dancing there
    And when she'd finished he called her over
    But Rico went a bit too far
    Tony sailed across the bar
    And then the punches flew and chairs were smashed in two
    There was blood and a single gun shot
    But just who shot who
    Her name is Lola
    She was a showgirl
    But that was thirty years ago when they used to have a show
    Now it's a disco but not for Lola
    Still in her dress she used to wear
    Faded feathers in her hair
    She sits there so refined
    And drinks herself half blind
    She lost her youth and she lost her Tony
    Now she's lost her mind
    At the Copa Copacabana
    The hottest spot in all of Havana
    At the Copa Copacabana
    Music and passion were always a fashion
    At the Copa don't fall in love

  7. i don't know why but a quote from scarface is all i can bring
    all i got is my word and my balls and i aint breakin either for anyone!

  8. CYBERPOOF: I am NOT a Fanilow!

    Not even Donn would risk life and limb singing that song to me.

    And I don’t have a Copacabana Bobblehead.

    Are you wearing a feathered headdress and rhinestone bra while you sing this?

    Mind you don’t topple off those high heels.

    DAISY: I hear you.

  9. I'm not singing it

    I'm doing it like a poem, I like the lyrics

    not a fan of Barry Manilow. Notice how he hasn't changed his hair for the past 20 years

  10. MJ...awww well i was close eh? i can always count on you for accurate correction!

  11. Old K has freaked me out and I have totally forgot what I was going to say.

    **head down, walks off... looking at people more carefully....**

  12. CYBERPOOF: But you’re wearing a feathered headdress and rhinestone bra nonetheless, aren’t you?

    DAISY: I'm Tony Montana! You fuck with me, you fuckin' with the best!

    BOXER: Don’t mind Knudsen.

    He always gets like this on Hitler’s birthday.

  13. MJ i bought that scarface clock at spensors for a good friend for his birthday last year...he was woke up in the middle of the night by tony montana giving a rather crude saying and shooting a machine

    btw...Why don't you try stickin jou head up jour ass – see if it fits...via tony :)

  14. DAISY: Dang.

    I’ve been using the wrong alarm clock.

  15. Where does the darkness go when you open your eyes?

    Do people de-evolve into creationists?

    How can I un-distend my nipples?

    Why can't they make selotape that sticks to everything except itself?

    How many fans of MASH know what MASH stands for?

    Why is it people who know exactly what art they like don't like any art?

    Wonder Woman was a princess, but she called herself Diana Prince. Why?

    Should Tazzy and Piggy adopt a child? Or should we pay them not to?

  16. yes you have MJ...yes you have...

    btw the elvis swinging pelvis clock has an ability to make people sick as they are drawn to the swinging pelvis...hint for parties :)

  17. No I'm wearing THE SHORTS, my gold stilettos and holding a feather duster - it's red if you really want to know

  18. In the style of Willie Nelson (sorry Pete) after a few ales ...

    Maybe I didn't love you
    Quite as often as I could have
    And maybe I didn't treat you
    Quite as good as I should have

    Little things I should have said and done
    I just never took the time
    You were always on my mind
    You were always on my mind

    I thank you!

  19. Boys will be girls and girls will be boys it's a mixed up muddled up shook up world, so's Lola.

    I don't think she was a show girl. At least she didn't show me, I just kinda guessed by the deep voice and Adam's apple.

  20. I would pay an obscene amount of money today for a blow job.

  21. KAPI: While I’m contemplating your questions, I’ll arrange to have one of our readers suck your nipples back into place.

    DAISY: My dancing has that same effect on people.

    CYBERPOOF: Ladies and gentlemen, could this picture get any poofier?

    KAZ: Listening to you sing Willie makes me wanna light up a spliff and forget about paying my taxes.

    Would you like me to braid your hair?

    TICKERS: Did she have a “dark brown voice” by any chance?

    Have you seen the way CyberPoof is dressed today?

    You should be singing Lola to him.

    MATT: Whomever I get to suck Kapi’s nipples back into place might do you when he’s finished.

    If he’s not fussy, that is.

  22. of course it could MJ

    you have no idea

  23. And now, I am going to act out Star Wars Episode IV with assorted figurines.

    Da naaaaa!
    Da na na na naaaaaa
    Da na na na naaaaaa
    Da na na naaaaaaaa!

    Pow! Shoom! Vroom! Psh!

  24. I predict a photo of Piggies Arse will appear in MJ's next post

    We haven't seen it for weeks
    Its gotta make an appearance soon

    Will someone please tell Old Knudsen to put his teeth back in and STOP licking my thigh

  25. CYBERPOOF: Do you have the blinds drawn or can the people at the bus stop see you?

    T-BIRD: How was it any different than Episode III?

    No, don’t tell me. I’m REALLY not interested.

    If you do tell me, I’ll send Bryan Adams to Australia.

    If it’s toys you need, why don’t you borrow some Lego from our little Danish boy?

    BEAST: You are endowed with … wait a minute. The words “endowed” and “Beast” cannot be used together in the same sentence.

    Rather, you are “blessed” with psychic gifts.

    For an arse SHALL appear this week.

    Though it won’t be Piggy’s.

  26. BEAST: p.s. Knudsen is licking the salad cream off your thigh.

  27. The little Danish boy can't play with his leggo. He's got his finger stuck in that dyke over there.


  28. *sneaks in the back door and steals the microphone while no one is using it and sells it for spray paint. gets paper bag from inner pocket and begins huffing*

  29. VOICES: Please pay attention to Donn's comment.

  30. *looks up from paper bag, has orange ring oround nose and mouth* "vas is das?"

  31. I've been holding in a poo for three hours now just to see if it makes a difference on how I view life.



  32. VOICES: Vas deferens does it make?

    K8: I'll report you to the RUC for a poo hostage-taking.