Saturday, April 12, 2008

Saturday Snatch

I had intended to post something else entirely but I’ve been into the sauce and I just want to forget the cares of the day and go slip into something comfortable.




Join me again on Sunday.
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35 comments:

  1. Romeo Morningwood12:34 AM, April 12, 2008

    No more Tequila for you!
    It looks as if you're either trying to figure out when the hell you got a bloody tattoo on your ankle OR thinking WTF these aren't my shoes!?

    Ironically, this is prolly the exact same position that you were in at 5am when you tried to take your shoes off.

    The photographer was your Ukrainian Landlady and not only did she let you in after you buzzed her for 15 minutes, but she also e-mailed this picture to the Ukrainski Navy Seamen Relief Projekt.

    I can just imagine the old girl as she stared in disbelief from the doorway with a homemade cigarette smoldering in her eyes and her raspy thick voice saying...

    "Hoy-Yoy-Yoy! Hem Jzay vear da fook har yore pintjayz?"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous2:39 AM, April 12, 2008

    hi mj thanx good to be back see you are still lowering the tone in blog land haa haa well done

    ReplyDelete
  3. Old Knudsen2:54 AM, April 12, 2008

    I must be turning queer (MJ's commenters get excited) the second thing that occurred to me was what size were her feet.

    ReplyDelete
  4. CyberPete4:36 AM, April 12, 2008

    Yikes!

    But...but....but...

    YOU PROMISED!

    Not sure I like your choice in shoes but that's hardly your problem is it

    ReplyDelete
  5. KAZ7:11 AM, April 12, 2008

    Does this woman come from the Isle of Man?
    Oh no she hasn't got enough legs.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The Mistress7:12 AM, April 12, 2008

    DONNNN: My landlady was an old Slovakian woman who, let me tell you, would be the one getting me drunk on her homemade wine.

    She couldn’t make it much farther than the corner shop so I’d watch bowling championships on telly with her. She knew all the dirt on all the players. Who knew bowling could be so full of gossip and intrigue?

    Did you know there’s a bowling tournament called the “Odor Eaters Open”?

    How’d you like to have your name engraved on THAT trophy?

    ANON: Is that you, Midget Arse?

    Tell those poofs Piggy and Tazzy to get your blog up and running again.

    KNUDSEN: That can’t be me.

    My feet are petite.

    Both my feet would fit into one of those clodhoppers.

    And then I’d insert one up yer arse.

    Here, take the shoes and see if they’ll fit your lover, George Clooney.

    CYBERPOOF: Calm yourself.

    There will be plenty of naked men on here in future.

    Don’t you have access to porn in Denmark?

    And you know I’d have to be drunk to wear those shoes.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The Mistress7:14 AM, April 12, 2008

    KAZ: You slipped in there.

    There's a place called The Isle of Men?

    Where? And when does the next boat leave for its shores?

    All aboard!

    ReplyDelete
  8. CyberPete7:16 AM, April 12, 2008

    We do have access to porn but an eye for that one particular fisherman, I would have never found him anywhere

    or you could post something equally pleasing to the eye. A pair of fabulous Manolos or just a Pucci print

    ReplyDelete
  9. The Mistress7:21 AM, April 12, 2008

    CYBERSHOES: If I post Pucci for you, I'll have to post Prada and Gucci for Beast.

    This isn't an haute couture blog, in case you haven't noticed.

    ReplyDelete
  10. tony8:39 AM, April 12, 2008

    Why Should Ukrainian s have all the Fun?
    I have also forwarded the photo to The Polish Navy Seamen Relief Projekt as well........The World Is Full Of Happy Sailors!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Tatas8:41 AM, April 12, 2008

    MJ: It's The Isle of Man. It's in between Ireland and Wales.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Jenny9:21 AM, April 12, 2008

    I must be really tired (or drunk) because I was looking at the fabric and style of couch and thinking, "reproduction or original" Or maybe I wasn't.

    ReplyDelete
  13. KAZ9:59 AM, April 12, 2008

    It's a bit boring apart from the annual motorcycle races and the flag

    ReplyDelete
  14. WithinWithout10:28 AM, April 12, 2008

    What else entirely were you going to post? And can we now call you Ilsa, She-Wolf of the S.S.?

    ReplyDelete
  15. The Mistress10:49 AM, April 12, 2008

    TONY: How about the Polish firemen?

    They’re always sliding down poles so they must be happy chappies.

    TATAS: Well if there’s only one man I can’t be bothered.

    BOXER: Repro or original, I just hope she’s sprayed some Scotchgard™ on it.

    KAZ: If it’s full of “3-legged” men, what are we waiting for?

    Is that a thong he’s wearing?

    WW: Calling me Mistress MJ will suffice.

    ReplyDelete
  16. CyberPete10:54 AM, April 12, 2008

    It's very haute cock isn't it?

    Haute cock terrible

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous11:19 AM, April 12, 2008

    Quick somebody shoot that rodent crawling on her hoo-hoo!

    ReplyDelete
  18. M@11:28 AM, April 12, 2008

    How 'bout YOUR snatch!?

    ReplyDelete
  19. The Mistress11:39 AM, April 12, 2008

    CYBERPOOF: Haute? Or hot?

    MYTOES: Or call in the Pied Piper.

    MATT: Here’s a photo of my pussy. (scroll down after you click).

    Now down to business… Almost everyone has sent me a photo of their bare arse except you. (Again, scroll down).

    It is a requirement of all new male Infomaniac readers to send me a pic of their bare bottom.

    Hop to it.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Geoff12:05 PM, April 12, 2008

    I feel like getting my four iron out and practice some chipping.

    Though knowing me I'll end up in the rough.

    ReplyDelete
  21. CyberPete12:38 PM, April 12, 2008

    Haute

    definately haute

    ReplyDelete
  22. The Mistress12:53 PM, April 12, 2008

    GEOFF: Ouch! Get those golf cleats off my turf.

    CYBERPOOF: If haute floats your boat, you won't find it here.

    ReplyDelete
  23. CyberPete1:07 PM, April 12, 2008

    I know, but I get enough boats at work

    Mostly Princess, Jeanneau and Beneteau

    ReplyDelete
  24. CyberPete4:46 PM, April 12, 2008

    You shouldn't post when you are drunk, but I just wanted to try that

    After several mojitos and a bottle of champagne

    I'M ON FIRE!

    (and it took four attempts to get the word verification()

    ReplyDelete
  25. The Mistress4:51 PM, April 12, 2008

    CYBERPOOF: Mostly princesses in your case, I would imagine.

    And queens.

    You're drunk, you say?

    And on fire?

    Oh dear gawd here we go.

    *hoses down drunken Danish poofter*

    ReplyDelete
  26. CyberPete4:52 PM, April 12, 2008

    WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    ReplyDelete
  27. The Mistress5:05 PM, April 12, 2008

    CYBERPOOF: The bathroom is the next door on the right.

    On second thought, just use the one at Kaz's.

    ReplyDelete
  28. CyberPete5:28 PM, April 12, 2008

    I've found mine, take a look!

    ReplyDelete
  29. The Mistress5:44 PM, April 12, 2008

    CYBERPOOF: You've found your WHAT?

    *rolls eyes*

    ReplyDelete
  30. BEAST5:50 PM, April 12, 2008

    I too am a little worse for wear today Miss MJ , and after seeing this picture am haunted by a faint whiff of kippers.

    ReplyDelete
  31. CyberPete5:53 PM, April 12, 2008

    I did!

    Take a look

    (shameless plot to get people to my blog)

    ReplyDelete
  32. The Mistress5:57 PM, April 12, 2008

    BEAST: Why so poorly?

    Were you into the Old Lesbian Number 6 ale?

    That's not kippers you smell.

    That's the leftover scent that lingers from the Norwegian fish whipping I gave you.

    CYBERPOOF: I'm at work.

    Will check your blog when I get home.

    Having probs enough just clicking on mine!

    ReplyDelete
  33. CyberPete6:08 PM, April 12, 2008

    yours is a lot more sleazy than mine, that's for sure

    Have fun! I'll probably have passed out upside down on my sofa by the time you get home

    ReplyDelete
  34. Miss Smuggersham7:23 PM, April 12, 2008

    I take back everything I have ever said about al naturale.

    What's all the problem with the shoes? They are not the nicest ones ever, but they are a decent vintage pair. Not sure about the couch though. The shoes matching the carpet matching the curtains was a good idea, though. Fnar fnar.

    ReplyDelete
  35. The Mistress11:16 PM, April 12, 2008

    T-BIRD: Fnarrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

    ReplyDelete

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