Friday, April 20, 2007

Yorkshire Speak

In an attempt to educate this ignorant Canuck, Yorkshire’s favourite poofs, Tazzy and Piggy, purchased this Yorkshire-English dictionary for me…

MJ: Let’s see if I’ve learned owt. (Let’s see if I’ve learned anything.)

Piggy: Aye, get agate. (Yes, go on then, get doing it.)

Tazzy: Best y’ do. (See that you do.)

MJ: Champion. (Excellent.)

Tazzy: By gum, we’ve supped sum stuff toneet. (Gawd, we have certainly drunk a lot tonight.) Ahm powfagged. (I’m very tired.)

Piggy: Ah-cud eet a'scabby-donkey tween tu Bre't-Vans. (I'm very hungry. I could eat a diseased donkey between two Bread Vans as a sandwich.)

MJ: Enough of this nonsense. Lesson over. Ahm still befuddled. (I’m still confused.) Boggled. (Mystified.) Flummoxed. (Bewildered.) Obviously I’ve learned nowt. (Obviously I’ve learned nothing.)

Tazzy: Flippin ‘eck, MJ! (exclamation of surprise.) You’re a barmpot. (You’re stupid.)

Piggy: Yes, MJ. You’re daft as a brush. (You’re stupid.) Yer arf baked. (You’re stupid.)

Tazzy: Yer gormless. (You're stupid.)

MJ: Gi’ over. (Stop it.) Any road (anyway) I’ll just have to make do with this handy Yorkshire Translator instead.

If anyone can assist with my Yorkshire Speak education, please submit your Yorkshire words and phrases in the comments section.

If not, then sling yer ‘ook. (If not then I suggest you go away immediately.)

Ta’ra! (Goodbye!)


  1. Av theur getten such eur long neck 'cos o' orl t' cock that's bin daahn it?

  2. Abaht tahhm theur stopped fookin' aroun' 'n posted eur picture o' theur int' freytin green elf shorts. theur lazy canuk

  3. I'm enjoying this Yorkshire Translator.

  4. What an accurate and very fabulous site that 'Yorkshire translator' is.
    I typed in a sentence containing the word 'Lancashire' which it translated as 'God's own country'.

    Well - who watches Emmerdale?

  5. I watch Emmerdale.

    We live about 15 minutes away from it!

  6. My grandfather on my Dad's side was from Yorkshire - still we all have skelitons in the cupboard.

  7. Piggy: Emmerdale's not real you know. It's fiction.

  8. I'd like to reclaim "sling yer 'ook" for the cockneys.

    ("Fuck 'orf" in the Queen's English).

  9. I agree geoff. If it was Yorkshire then it'd be "sling yer 'oooooook"

  10. Emmerdale's fictional?

    Please don't tell me Coronation Street's fictional too.

    And I understood that bit about "theur lazy canuk" you cunt Connie.

    Has anyone typed "cunt" into the translator yet?

  11. I did. It came back with "Theur mean 'a' fa' clart noggin Piggy wi' t' tapeworm?"

  12. Most Yorkshireman can actually speak intelligible English, and will if you train them properly. If they are aggravating you, ask them for some money. That will shut the fuckers up.

  13. Ooh fun with languages..Yippee!
    As my Oma would have said..
    Danke, das zweisprachig klasse war sehr gut.(Thanks, the bilingual class was good)

    Might I remind you ms polyglot, being a role model and all, that here in Canuckistan you are only allowed to teach in either 'BBC Proper' Anglische or in French (the language of lurrve)....
    except of course dans la belle Quebec which is uniquely unilingual)so...

    Est-ce que vous êtes ivre?
    (are you drunk?)
    or as you'd say in your fancy schmancy Yorkshirian slang,

    A’ve y' supped sum stuff toneet?

  14. Thy orl eur bunch o' cunts.


  15. "Sling your hook"... Yorkshire origins or Cockney?

    I'm coming up with conflicting information on this one.

  16. Gran' 'eavens! ah dooant understan' enny o' theur vile northerners.

  17. Emmerdale is a real place, not fictional.

    'Real' as in The Woolpack Inn and the place where it's filmed.

    'Emmerdale' is a fictional title, but the place itself exists.

    Corrie, on the other hand is a pile of crap fiction.

  18. Oh and in real life, 'Emmerdale' isn't called 'Emmerdale'.

    It's real name is 'Otley'

    *looks all smug now*

  19. Emmerdale was actually filmed originally in a place called Esholt.

    This is where the 'original' Woolpack Inn is located.

    *looks even smugger*

  20. But I have a photo of Frobi in front of Jack and Vera Duckworth's house!

  21. Think on't, lass, what's Emmerdale when's 't at home? Is't summat on t'gogglebox?

    Like them cushats sing in t'oak be Smeeley's Yard:

    There's nowt on TV
    There's nowt on TV
    There's nowt on TV
    -- Nowt.

    By gum, me word verification, like, is:


  22. Jolly Good Show Old Girl. I think Youve Done Frightfully Well. Some Of Us Yorkshire Like To Maintain A Certain Standard.Dont Let All These Oinks Dilute The Queens English.Tally-Ho!!!!!!

  23. WARMI: Barnsley? It's full of Charvers, in't it?

    TONY: Oinks? Are you refering to those dozy twonks Piggy and Tazzy?

  24. Steady On My Dear! An Englishman Never Tells.Tally-Ho.But, you know, those people from Barnsley are frightfully common.The Lower Classes can sometimes be frightfully uncouth.

  25. Ah, but I'm not from Yorkshire, you scamp!

    Being a cute wee Highland boy, I'm frightfully posh.

  26. in which case ,your A Good Egg.My apologies Old Boy.One Cant Be Too Careful These Days.Toodle-Pip Thow'Nose........(opps what a givaway!)

  27. I wondered when Piggy would play the Highland card.

  28. Oooa! ah love translators! dis is almost li' bein on drugs, except 1. not fun, 'n 2. all t' rectal bleedin.

  29. "I wondered when Piggy would play the Highland card."

    Any time som fucktard makes the mistake of referring to me as English, let alone a Yorkshireman.

  30. Put wood int'hole. (Shut the door)

  31. I think 'By gum' will be my new phrase. I lurve it.

  32. Does what Tickers said sound rude to the rest of you?

  33. I want to talk like my wifey abbey!! haha
    apparently knottingley is a sunny place??
    sling ya hooook!!!