Monday, April 16, 2007

Blogging Roundup

A peek at ‘the week that was’ with a whole shitload of Infomaniac’s readers.

Let's get started with a visit to those filthy Yorkshire poofs...


Tazzy and Piggy give Portland Bill a hand job

We pick up where we left off last week as Tazzy and Piggy experience Easter in SmuntyLand aka the Dorset coastline.

Taz and Pig join Stevey (Smunty The Cabin Boy) and his fag hag wife Carly (Mong-Smunt) in climbing the Portland Bill lighthouse.

A brave Carly Mong-Smunt leads the timid girlie boys up the steep stairs of the lighthouse. This is a woman with cojones. And a lovely arse which we'll get to in a moment.

Carly Mong-Smunt: A woman with big balls (and big tits!)

Previous to the outing to the coast, back in the hotel, we were subjected to pics of Tazzy and Piggy’s turds. Explore at your own risk.


The Smunts relate their twisted fantasy version of Tazzy and Piggy’s trip to the Dorset cuntryside.

Steve goes down on Portland Bill (practicing for later that night when he'll become Taz and Pig's cabin boy)

TWISTED LIE NUMBER ONE: Steve claims he’s not giving head to Portland Bill but rather “getting all Godzilla” on its ass. LIES!

Full moon over the English Channel (Carly's Arse)

If you can’t be bothered reading their excessively long account of the visit, just play the brief YouTube video of the group descending the stone steps of “The Cobb” harbour wall. Here’s your chance to hear the voices of The Smunts, making them just that little bit more frighteningly real. Listen to that posh bitch Carly’s accent. “Don’t make me lahhhhhff.” Which, coincidentally, is the same thing she says everytime Stevey gets nekkid.

TWISTED LIE NUMBER TWO: Stevey claims the homosexuals were trying to grab his legs on the way down but see for yourself. It didn’t happen.

Read Taz & Pig’s account, then The Smunts' account. Decide for yourselves.


Awa clicks a pic of this chick with a dick…

Lady Piggy of Barnsley


Frobi reports on Snoop Dog’s court appearance.

Snoop Dog: The bitch who stole Frobi’s wig


WinterPeg’s WW is having an avatar competition.

May I make a suggestion?…


HE posts a loving tribute to his wife...

Just before she crushed his head with her mighty thighs


FN is snowed under by an avalanche of vintage douche advertisements.

“The only thing strong enough to combat the foetid stench of a stanky cooter is the same thing mechanics use to clean out the grease pit: CONCENTRATED PINE SCENTED AMMONIA!”


Maidy finally succumbs to public pressure to replace this stupid orange baseball cap.

Proving yet again how much she loves Canadians, Maidy decides to replace it with a Toronto Blue jays cap.

Maidy takes offence when I suggest she forget the cap and just cover her head with a paper bag.


Canada’s famous Wawa Goose statue

And proving how much he loves Canadians (doesn’t everyone?) Geo goes out shooting with his camera and takes a pic of a Canada Goose. In Massachusetts!

No long border crossings for them, eh?


Tony’s been to see His Bobness in Sheffield.

He’s been there and got the t-shirt.


The usual busy week on Old Bitter Balls as, amongst other pursuits, Knudsen plays Spin the Bottle.


Rich the snitch

Rich blows the whistle on Old Knudsen, who, it seems, has been soliciting sex in Beantown.

Knudsen: Offering sex for a tenner


This week on Leatherette Beanbag: Lady boys and puking midgets.

Or “Eddie Waring: A Day at the Office.”


Manflu gone! But slowness in posting still there!

SID, post something new you lazy Irish cunt.


Vet loses hand to crocodile.

Surgeons in Taiwan have reattached a vet's arm, after it was bitten off by a crocodile as he tried to give it an anaesthetic injection.


Tickers compares driving to anal sex.


“What's pink and cute and can travel at 600 mph?”

Extreme cuteness alert as Pru informs us about Helly Kitty Airlines.


Jim Carrey gets on Geoff’s tits.


Betty’s listening to “any music which is the antithesis of Snow Fucking Fucking Patrol.”


IVF put us on hold while he was out on maneuvers (Manhoovers).

But the wait was worth it as we finally get to see the winsome witch himself…

This witch is a sexy bitch


claims she’s posted this Nigel Harman fan montage for me but that little minx wants him bad.


Kav puts his foot in his mouth (and pencils up his nostrils) and asks us to relate our foot-in-mouth incidents.


Kaz and her oral fixations.

This time it’s ice cream.


I just like to quote random bits of dialogue from Bock the Robber

Fuckin bastard. I'll find out where you live and I'll pour a nest of ants through your letterbox.

Fuck you, you fat prick!!

Well fuck me sideways

You fucking fool.

Was that the finest piece of satire ever to appear on Irish television, or the worst example of scum-sucking obsequious arse-licking you've seen in your life?

Scunthorpe won 2-0. They're promoted. Wooo hoooo!!


Spikey finds a mouse in his recycling “blue box.”


Mutley resolves to be a kinder person.

“As I have no colleagues working with me in the partly converted toilet which serves as my office (still the gents!) I decided to be kind to strangers instead . Believe me this is not as easy as it sounds!”


Billy’s given up on ever learning to drive and would prefer to spend the money for driving lessons on booze instead.


Bournemouth’s Hardhouse is back!

He’s been gone so long I was tempted to make him a “New Cunt of the Week” but you old-timers will remember him.

And finally…


Another Brit joins Infomaniac. Welcome GLENDA of Flaming Nora!

“She writes. She blogs. What's she on about now?”

Glenda lives in London but she’s a displaced Mackem from Sunderland on the North East coast.

Not only does she amuse us with her blog Flaming Nora, Glenda writes and edits Corrie Blog; a blog for Coronation Street fans. AND she provides weekly Coronation Street updates over here. And she’s on the writing team of Dollymix.

Corrie's Jack Duckworth: “Flaming Nora!”

All this and she’s a Sunderland AFC supporter.

Everyone join me in clasping Glenda to your bosom and making her feel at home here on Infomaniac.


  1. I Am First!!!!!!
    I good morning to you MJ & The Motely Crew.
    Short message cos my computer's still fucked& i may get blogguss interuptus any second.......

  2. It's not often you hear the word 'Mackem'

  3. Ewwww! Doesn't IVF look a right fucking queen?

    And those stripes are horrendous.

    Fashion faux pas, methinks.

  4. Says he of the possessed tanktop!

  5. I wonder what we will find in the box this week?

  6. Tell Geo, if he loves Canada Geese so much he can have some of ours back.
    They're taking over in Manchester.

    Still - better than Jim Carrey perhaps.

  7. TONY: Blogguss interuptus? Your comment leaves me unsatisfied.

    TICKERS: Of all the definitions I like this one best…

    Mackem: A demi-god worshipped by ancient civilisations as the epitome of wit and sexual prowess. Not to be confused with Geordie who were the unfortunate result of a Roman experiment in which Scotsmen had intercourse with pigs.

    PIGGY: I have to agree with Connie on this one. Until Tazzy burns that brown stripy top, I’m not returning your fashion police badge.

    CONNIE: For once we agree.

    They’re the biggest poofs in Yorkshire yet they commit the most horrendous fashion crimes.

    SPIKEY: Jim Carrey, perhaps.

    KAZ: On behalf of my nation, I’ve already apologized for Jim Carrey and Celine Dion. Now I have to apologize for Canada Geese?

  8. We have enough of them in Philadelphia.The only thing they do is shit all over the place.

  9. Geo... try walking between a Mother and her babies and see what happens..... ;)

  10. Canadian Geese visit Northern Ireland every year.

    Invasive Aliens

    *picks up shot gun*

  11. Our beloved local convenience store chain is named after the Canadian goose call, Wawa. Their symbol is the Canuck goose.

    We tried controlling them, poisoning them, sending them back, etc. The bastards can returning.

    We'd shoot the fuckers and eat them but rumour has it the meat is uber greasy and not all that tasty. It would be a waste of buckshot.

    So, once again, like Celine Dion and Avril Lavigne, they are yet another useless Canadian import.

  12. MJ: We agree on something! That's not right!

    MAIDY: I've eaten Canada goose. It was tasty.

  13. Ever try a Canadian mouse??? mmmmmm

  14. GEO: See what you’ve started?

    SPIKEY: Is there a story you’d like to tell us? That involves you? That ends horribly?

    SID: Perhaps if the Emerald Isle would tighten its immigration policies you wouldn’t have this problem.

    First it’s Latvians and Poles. Now Canada Geese.

    MAIDY: Wawa Food Market? I must have missed it when I was in Philly. I guess I didn’t need to step out for a jug of milk.

    To prove your love for me, you and Geo must have your picture taken in front of the Wawa store and post it on your blogs and I’ll post it on mine.

    CONNIE: You’d put anything in your mouth.

    SPIKEY: That goes double for you.

  15. It was a pretty quiet week all 'n' all.

  16. Upside-Down Roast Canada Goose

    Wild Canada geese have little or no fat, as do most wild birds. Because of this lack of natural basting liquid, some wild fowl tends to dry out while cooking. This recipe will help assure the cook of no accidents and help keep the meat moist and tender.

    In this recipe you are essentially poaching the bird, i.e. roasting it upside-down in liquid with finely chopped vegetables. Wild goose is naturally very dark, nearly indistinguishable from roast beef after it is sliced.

    You may want to add potatoes, onions and firm vegetables to the roasting pan about 45 minutes before the bird is finished. They will not only add flavor to the sauce and the bird but will save you time by allowing the entire meal to finish together.

    1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
    1 cup carrots, shredded
    1 cup celery, diced
    1 cup onion, finely chopped
    1 medium apple, cored, peeled and chopped
    4 garlic cloves, finely chopped
    1 cup veal (or low-salt chicken) stock
    1/2 cup dry white wine
    1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
    2 tablespoons dried rosemary
    2 tablespoons dried thyme
    4 bay leaves
    1 teaspoon salt
    1 teaspoon cracked pepper
    1 whole wild goose, about 7-10 pounds

    Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees F.

    Melt the butter in a large sauce pan over medium-low heat. Add the carrots, celery, onions, apple and garlic. Sauté for 8-10 minutes. Add the stock, wine, parsley, rosemary, thyme, bay leaves, salt and pepper. Turn up the heat and bring to a boil for about 1 minute. Lower the heat to medium-low and simmer for 6-8 minutes.

    Pour the vegetables and liquid into a large roasting pan fitted with a lid. Turn the bird breast-side down and nestle into the vegetables and liquid. Spoon some of the liquid and vegetables over the goose and add more water (or wine if you like) to submerse the bird half-way. Cover and roast about 1 1/4 hours. Turn the bird over, facing up, and cook another 15 minutes, uncovered or until a meat thermometer registers 160 degrees F when inserted next to the leg bone.

    Remove and let the bird sit for about 10 minutes before carving. Spoon some of the juice and vegetables over each portion of sliced meat and potatoes.

    Serves 4-6.


  17. FROBI: Same old same old, eh?

    SPIKEY: I'll cook YOUR goose!

    I'm surprised you don't suggest stuffing it with Timbits.

  18. Why is my husband Jack raising his glass to that new cunt Glenda?

  19. Did you want cream sauce with that?

  20. I'm ignoring Piggy & Tazzy - they're just jealous that I can carry off horizontal stripes. Something they can't do without attracting orbiting satellites...

  21. True IDV, I would rather be carried off horizontally than wear a tank top.

  22. VERA: Jack Duckworth can't keep it in his pants.

    SPIKEY: Bad Spikey. No donut.

    IVF: With their waistlines, they definitely shouldn't be wearing horizontal stripes.

    Steve and Carly can tell you how much Piggy and Tazzy eat. Especially Piggy. It's shocking. Why even this morning Piggy couldn't be bothered to post because he was hungry. Maybe he has a tapeworm.

  23. SID: We'd all rather see you carried off horizontally.

    Which reminds me. We never did find out if you were being buried in the garden or not but obviously you're still alive.

    Oh, and you've finally posted.

  24. The earthangel was weeding the garden,without being bullied into it.

    He hasn't been the same since.

    And speaking of geese...another long necked creature that likes to gobble!

  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

  26. SID: I'm sure you could make a nice fois gras.

    Too bad your equipment isn't long enough to fit down the goose's neck.

  27. MJ - Amazingly, I agree with that comment.

    We know. We've seen it.

    In the back of his car.

    Through a rather powerful eyeglass.

    IVF & Connie - You nasty fucking poofs.

  28. Thank you (I think?) from your latest c*nt of the week.

  29. PIGGY: I've seen it too.

    Looks like a finger puppet.

    IVF: Yes, a tapeworm causes increased appetite and exercise intolerance. A description that fits Piggy to a T.

    FLAMING NORA: Your friends and family will be so proud when they find you here.

  30. I know what a tapeworm is, you daft bat. I meant 'a' tapeworm, as in 'just one'...

  31. Geo and I shall rise to challenge and have our pic taken in front of a Wawa for you.

    Ta for the recipe, Spikey. We can have that weekly around these parts.

  32. IVF: I'm at work and in my rush not to be seen blogging, didn't notice the quotes around your "A" word.

    *takes back compliment I made to IVF about what a pretty boy he is*

    MAIDY: Yay!

    PIGGY: Shut it.

  33. MJ - I take it you haven't seen our latest post then?

    IVF's our 'star' today.

  34. PIGGY: oooo, no haven't seen it. Will check when I get home tonight.

    *gleeful handrubbing*

    IVF can strike me off his fag hag list after that "daft bat" remark.

  35. Ooh, that bottle up Old Knudsen's butt was just a tad hard to take, so to speak...

    But worry?

  36. Ok, I can't stop laughing!

    Hold on...gimme a minute!

    This has got to be one of the most entertaining (and vomit inducing) blogger roundups posts evah!

    The whole bottle up the rear had me staring a bit too long, I must confess.

  37. WW: That new avatar of yours is a tad hard to take.

    AWA: Yeah, well that's Old Knudsen's doing. He wants to be your baby daddy.

  38. MJ you know me far too well. I'm torn between Nigel and Sam. I'll take both and see what happens... :)

  39. My god this is a long list but I love Eddie's article!

  40. CHELLY: Leave one for me!

    CHASE: It's all about Eddie, isn't it?

    That fucking Waring.

  41. I meant the bat remark in... Oh, what's the point.

    * strops off *

    * and not to the sperm bank *

  42. IVF: *slaps IVF with Old Knudsen's flaccid dick*

  43. For fuck's sake, late to t'party as usual. Oh well, I'm off to get hammered by myself.

  44. KAV: There's always a bottle here waiting for you.

    Mind, it's been up Knudsen's arse.