FILTHY FRIDAY - Beast’s Bare Bum

Previously on Infomaniac, I posted a photo of Beast’s arse as seen here…


Beast: the Roy Cropper of Bournemouth



What I really wanted from Beast was a photo of his bare buttocks but that was the best we could do at the time.

Until Tickers informed me of a pic I’d forgotten all about from a posting by Frobisher back in 2006….




BEAST'S BANANA BOTTY






How could I have forgotten this pic? Am I so inundated with photographs of bare arses that I’ve become jaded?

Thank you, Tickers.

And a slap to Frobi, who, as my secret source for all things Beast-related, should have sent this pic to me when I requested Beast Bottom.

And for any of you fellas who haven’t yet sent in your bare bum to me, make haste.

Your arse can’t possibly look any worse than this!

Marry Me, Bitch

Leap Year: the traditional time when a woman can propose marriage.

Blame the Irish. Legend has it the tradition started when St. Brigid complained to St. Patrick that the womenfolk were tired of waiting for the men to propose.

So St. Paddy took it upon himself to declare February 29th, once every four years, a day when the women could make their move.







Tomorrow, being officially Leap Year Day, I shall select one of you lucky bitches to be my “Blogging Spouse.”

I say “spouse” rather than “husband” as this selection process is open to both men and women as I believe in and promote affirmative action.







Your duties as my Blogging Spouse will be outlined after you have been chosen.

This is your opportunity now to tell me why I should choose YOU to be my intended.

Make it good. The competition is fierce.

Men in Hats

If you want to get ahead, get a hat.
-- British Hat Council

If you want to get some head, get a hat.
-- Infomaniac



My name is Tony Blair and I endorse this posting.


Join us as we celebrate The Men of Infomaniac and their stylish headgear.



PIGGY


Seen leaving ASDA with his latest purchase, Piggy asks, “Does this hat make my arse look big? Or just my left nipple?”




TAZZY



Trend-setter Tazzy has successfully captured that “I’m out on a day pass from Bethlem Royal” look.





OLD KNUDSEN


Knudsen sports his trademark pee-stained cloth cap in a style befitting a real ladies’ man.

When asked what message he’s trying to send to the fair sex with his cap, Knudsen had this to say…

“It’s a look that says come back to my bed-sit no that’s alright yer gurlfriend can come too gosh her Adam’s apple’s big. Sit yerselves doon on that mattress on the floor and get those knickers doon around yer ankles and when it’s over bring me a cuppa tea.”




SMUNTY THE CABIN BOY



Here we see Smunty Steve going for the “chicks dig me” look in a jaunty Yorkshire flat-cap whilst attempting to conceal the conical point of his chrome dome.





FROBI



Frobisher in his wighat proves that it takes one helluva big man to be such a little lady.

This is a look that says, “Howz about you, me and a bottle of Buckie down by the Bournemouth Pier?”





HOMO ESCAPEONS (HE)



Ladies, let this this smokin’ hot Canuck cowboy lasso your heart.

He packs a big pistol and wears a hat that says, “I’d like to get my spurs into you, baby.”





BINGOWINGS (Eroswings)



Here’s another cowboy we’d like to ride bareback.

You can leave your hat on. But lose The Shorts!





TICKERS




Tickers message to the world is, “I’m probably just a a little bit poofy.”






GEOFF




This kool kat Kentish man gets his kicks from Kerouac.

Dig the beret. It gets him the swinginist chicks.





GEO



This member of the military’s Knob Squad wears a cap that says, “I like to sneak up from behind and give my ‘brothers in arms’ what they want what they really really want.”





MAIDY



What are you doing here?

Bitch, get off my blog!

This is for the MEN of Infomaniac only. Your strap-on doesn’t fool me.





CYBERPETE



CyberPoof, I said the MEN of Infomaniac. Not the boys.

As English is your second language, you are forgiven.

But don’t let it happen again.

Attention-seeking ho.





SID


“Bald patch? What bald patch?”






And finally, back to them…


Everyone knows that a monkey looks good in a Tiny Fez, but why should monkeys have all the fun?…



Piggy




Tazzy




TODGERS IN HATS



Tazzy Fez-Pants





"My name is William Hague and I doff my baseball cap to The Men of Infomaniac."




“Hats off to the Men of Infomaniac!”

The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Do Berkshire

You thought the Academy Awards were the big event this week? Think again.

All the action is in Berkshire, England where that tart Tatas is modeling the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts.


Tatas…click to make her arse bigger



What a show off. Look at her. She may as well have a flashing neon sign pointing at her arse saying, “Get it here, boys!”

If you’re new here and don’t know what all the fuss is about, check out The Definitive History of the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts.

Now get over to Tatas’ blog and create a caption there. Your caption only counts if it's entered on Tatas' blog.

You wanna win The Shorts? You gotta play, bitches!


Personal note to Tatas: Remember, those Shorts have MJ DNA all over them.

Smut-Free Sunday

In an effort to clean up this blog, let’s start with the Filthy Irish.

Join Infomaniac as we give SID his weekly bath…



(click to expand SID's fatty tissues)

This is Not a Posting

You didn’t see this. This is not a posting.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

Tuesday marked my 900th posting so I deserve a day off, wouldn't you agree?

I’m gonna relax and have a drink or three. And you're buying, by the way.

See you Sunday.

Filthy Friday

Fed up with the amputee dating scene?

Tired of getting only half of what you bargained for?





Try an amputee sex doll.






Order yours today!

Infomaniac Reader Arrested!

Claiming to be a Typical Infomaniac Reader, this man has been arrested...




Who is he? And what is his crime?

Lunar Eclipse

Did anyone else see the total eclipse of the moon last night?

Typical Infomaniac Reader

Fill in the blank to describe the typical Infomaniac reader.

UPDATE!

After reading dozens of reader submissions and subjecting the responses to the scientific method, I have deduced that the Typical Infomaniac Reader is…

Not too bright yet far above average intelligence; possibly a little bit ghey; typically a poof or a dyke; drinks too much and falls down a lot; posts comments on blogs and can't remember them afterwards; ginger with an STD and too much time on their hands; amused by Canuck low-life, happy in the knowledge that MJ is thousands of miles away, glad to be slimmer than SID, always surprised and a little bit titillated; handsome (devastatingly so), debonair, witty, and a proud recipient of several Nobel prizes; practically perfect in every way; buff hotties who want me to oil their pecs and have unprotected sex in a hammock; depraved, misanthropic, morally ambiguous, voyeuristic, socially retarded, genetalially gifted, funny as hell, and predominantly Oyrish, Lebanese, Philadelphian, or Bi-Coastal; 86 yet young; pretending to be a twelve year old Asian girl; hoping for more more naked gorrila pics; slacking off at work; touching themselves while typing; ‘special'.......but not in a good way; wishing he was brave enough to read this in work; wondering why the fuck they visit?; alone...totally alone!; saying "Kill me! Kill me!"; wondering if nurse will hand out their medication dressed as a potato and drinking a bottle of Jameson's?; a spotty teenager that has just typed porn on their keyboard for the first time; a military dictator looking for a reason to bomb Cannuckland; frantically looking for the delete/Go back a page button; someone who just got a spaghetti noodle stuck in their sinus trying to replicate the head #17 trick; on public record as having been attacked by a Christmas tree; frequently visited by miniature farmers who WON'T STOP KNOCKING AT THE DOOOOOOOR; trying to figure out the meaning of “gunties”; embarrassed about the things they get themselves into; electronically tagged so they can't leave the house; a total pervert; impotent; masturbating furiously to the strains of the Canadian National Anthem played on the didgerdoo (That’s just SID, really); in need of therapy, exceeding the recommended dosage; Piggy and Tazzy; sex offenders; misfits; the dregs of society.

And, of course, a cunt!

30 Heads Are Better Than One

The following is a passage from the book Ozma of Oz by L. Frank Baum.

Now I must explain to you that the Princess Langwidere had thirty heads--as many as there are days in the month. But of course she could only wear one of them at a time, because she had but one neck. These heads were kept in what she called her "cabinet," which was a beautiful dressing-room that lay just between Langwidere's sleeping-chamber and the mirrored sitting-room. Each head was in a separate cupboard lined with velvet. The cupboards ran all around the sides of the dressing-room, and had elaborately carved doors with gold numbers on the outside and jeweled-framed mirrors on the inside of them.

When the Princess got out of her crystal bed in the morning she went to her cabinet, opened one of the velvet-lined cupboards, and took the head it contained from its golden shelf. Then, by the aid of the mirror inside the open door, she put on the head--as neat and straight as could be--and afterward called her maids to robe her for the day. She always wore a simple white costume, that suited all the heads. For, being able to change her face whenever she liked, the Princess had no interest in wearing a variety of gowns, as have other ladies who are compelled to wear the same face constantly.

Of course the thirty heads were in great variety, no two formed alike but all being of exceeding loveliness. There were heads with golden hair, brown hair, rich auburn hair and black hair; but none with gray hair. The heads had eyes of blue, of gray, of hazel, of brown and of black; but there were no red eyes among them, and all were bright and handsome. The noses were Grecian, Roman, retrousse and Oriental, representing all types of beauty; and the mouths were of assorted sizes and shapes, displaying pearly teeth when the heads smiled. As for dimples, they appeared in cheeks and chins, wherever they might be most charming, and one or two heads had freckles upon the faces to contrast the better with the brilliancy of their complexions.

One key unlocked all the velvet cupboards containing these treasures--a curious key carved from a single blood-red ruby--and this was fastened to a strong but slender chain which the Princess wore around her left wrist.

When Nanda had supported Langwidere to a position in front of cupboard No. 17, the Princess unlocked the door with her ruby key and after handing head No. 9, which she had been wearing, to the maid, she took No. 17 from its shelf and fitted it to her neck. It had black hair and dark eyes and a lovely pearl-and-white complexion, and when Langwidere wore it she knew she was remarkably beautiful in appearance.

There was only one trouble with No. 17; the temper that went with it (and which was hidden somewhere under the glossy black hair) was fiery, harsh and haughty in the extreme, and it often led the Princess to do unpleasant things which she regretted when she came to wear her other heads.

What would you do if, like Princess Langwidere, you had 30 heads?

And how would you handle the hot-headed Head Number 17?

Book Title of the Day

The Love Smeller by James H. Ramp.

Saturday Sin Bin

INFOMANIAC:


Cum for the cock…







Stay for the snatch…








Blog News

Infomaniac will be tinkering with its template today making minor adjustments.

Expect cursing, crabbiness, and cockups.

Filthy Friday – Piggy’s Starfish

You’ve seen his arse a million times...


Piggy’s arse


Butt now see Piggy’s starfish!…





I know, I know. Some of you have already seen this posting on his blog but for those who haven’t, I’m taking the liberty of giving his arse more air time here on mine.

An Infomaniac Valentine

I am the gorilla your dreams.

Fun With Foreskin

Oh the fun I would have if I had a foreskin.






And it’s practical too! I’d insert quarters in my foreskin and use it as a change purse. You never know when you’ll need to use a pay phone or plug a parking metre.




I could store a handful of Canadian Loonies under this one!




Infomaniac welcomes your ideas for more fun with foreskin.

Album Cover(s) of the Week

THE HANDSOME BEASTS








Legal Notice: Any resemblance of any characters to any Infomaniac readers is purely coincidental.

Beast’s Arse

For months he’s eluded me, taunted and teased me.


Beast

But thanks to my intrepid secret source, somewhere in Dorset, (who shall remain nameless unless he wishes to come forward), I have at last obtained a photo of Beast’s arse.

Unfortunately, it’s not a photo of his bare buttocks as requested. However, my secret source informs me that we really, really don’t want to see Beast’s bare bottom.

Judge for yourselves…






Does the name Roy Cropper come to mind?

And do I detect cameltoe to the left of Beast?


NAME BEAST’S ARSE

An arse this *cough* fine *cough* deserves a name of its own. A pet name, perhaps.





I’m thinking “Roy’s Rolls” is a fitting name.

Your suggestions are welcome.