Thursday, February 14, 2008

An Infomaniac Valentine



I am the gorilla your dreams.
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37 comments:

  1. Inexplicable DeVice1:22 AM, February 14, 2008

    Yay! I'm a Valentastic first!

    I might be here for some time as I trapped in my house - The amount of Valentines cards shoved through my letterbox has filled the living room. I'm going to have to tunnel my way out!


    Or something.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Mistress1:49 AM, February 14, 2008

    iVD: Get it? VD=Valentine's Day. Never mind.

    "Shoved through my letterbox" and "tunnel" might be euphemisms for what, exactly?

    Your letterbox doubles as a gloryhole, doesn't it?

    *snozzles IVD affectionately*

    ReplyDelete
  3. nwtrunner2:02 AM, February 14, 2008

    Hey MJ - Happy Valentine's to you!

    I'd go ape over you, but the lipstick is just over the top limb, and I ain't bananas yet. But for monkeying around...

    Probably just the start of bad ape jokes, but let the party begin!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Old Knudsen2:06 AM, February 14, 2008

    YOU KNOW I HATE GORILLAS, THOSE SPAMMING CUNTS! WORSE VALENTINES DAY EVER.




    My bits are washed just in case.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The Mistress2:28 AM, February 14, 2008

    NWT: I’ve applied lipstick to the opposite end as well.

    KNUDSEN: It could have been worse.

    I could have posted 2 things you hate even worse than gorillas.

    1) A YouTube.
    2) Lemurs.

    Worse still, I could have posted a YOUTUBE (with soundtrack) of a LEMUR!

    ReplyDelete
  6. nwtrunner2:55 AM, February 14, 2008

    What's a gloryhole???!

    As a wildlife biologist - I find gratuitous pics of wildlife to be offensive. Except when lipstick and Knudsen are involved...

    Knudsen + gorilla + lipstick = ????

    I'm sure he'll come back with some witty repartie (reparte? - fuck it) to this one, but I'm gonna duck anyhow.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Divian3:45 AM, February 14, 2008

    Happy LURB Day! I am working and eating and eating and....uh, eating.

    It is my goal one day to have an arse bigganuff to sit on Piggy and smother him with one cheek.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous3:53 AM, February 14, 2008

    Awa: A size zero model could smother Piggy with one cheek he's that small.

    MJ: Happy Valentines. I got you a lifetime supply of Canestan.

    ReplyDelete
  9. eroswings5:14 AM, February 14, 2008

    Lipstick Jungle!

    I see Brooke Shields finally took care of those caterpillar eyebrows...

    Happy VD, MJ!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous6:21 AM, February 14, 2008

    Bah!

    Where are my flowers and chocolates?

    And I wish Blogger would stop fucking around with the comment options.

    ReplyDelete
  11. KAZ7:27 AM, February 14, 2008

    That gorilla's had a makeover -
    Mohican and lip implants...and he still doesn't do it for me.
    Happy Valentine's mj.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The Mistress9:40 AM, February 14, 2008

    NWT: A gloryhole is the slot the postman uses for special deliveries.

    Knudsen and lipstick? Are you implying that Knudsen’s a gurlyboy?

    AWA: Your booty is a beauty.

    For maximum damage, let’s get SID to sit on Piggy.

    CONNIE: Did you nick the Canesten from Tatas’ supply cabinet?

    Her yeast count will skyrocket now. Is that a bun in her oven?

    BINGOWINGS: Brooke’s career has been all downhill since she groomed her eyebrows.

    Now show us some Texan totty and email me a photo of your bare arse.

    PIGGY: I have a half-eaten Mars Bar for you.

    You know where to find it.

    KAZ: Would the gorilla be more attractive to you if you knew he owned the Stolichnaya company?

    Now where’s my Tesco Value Valentine Card?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dinah11:14 AM, February 14, 2008

    I love this picture! I'm going to be giggling about it all day long. Hopefully in inappropriate places.

    ReplyDelete
  14. INNER VOICES12:10 PM, February 14, 2008

    animal sex... hmmm... gorilla style.

    ReplyDelete
  15. garfer12:33 PM, February 14, 2008

    I wouldn't mind some bush in the bush, but she looks too intelligent to me.

    I can't be doing with these intelligent women with ideas above their station.

    ReplyDelete
  16. The Mistress12:57 PM, February 14, 2008

    DINAH: Point to your places and I’ll tell you whether or not I think they’re inappropriate.

    VOICES: You just come here lookin’ to perv out, don’t you?

    GARFY: Don’t give up on her.

    I’m sure she could dumb it down for you.

    And I’ve heard that she likes Irish arse.

    ReplyDelete
  17. INNER VOICES1:16 PM, February 14, 2008

    alas im am here for the stimulating conversation and informative links... does any one else want a breakfast shot of jeager?
    *pounds double shot and goes back to work*

    ReplyDelete
  18. Old Knudsen1:41 PM, February 14, 2008

    Can a gorilla give a BJ? I know Lemurs can. A Gloryhole is the attic of a hoose.

    You lot and yer crazy sexual desires, it makes me sick and aroused.

    ReplyDelete
  19. CyberPete1:52 PM, February 14, 2008

    Wow you are hairier than Manuels arse

    Nice shade of lippy though - is it dirty crackwhore red?

    Happy VD

    ReplyDelete
  20. The Mistress2:24 PM, February 14, 2008

    VOICES: I’m pleased that you recognize an educational blog when you see one.

    Please be advised that you will be punished if you don’t do your homework.

    KNUDSEN: "Can a gorilla give a BJ?"

    Yes, apparently so!

    Yes, it’s another YouTube. Bear with me just for today.

    CYBERPOOF: It’s blowjob red. It’s smearproof!

    I can get you a tube.

    ReplyDelete
  21. S.I.D.3:11 PM, February 14, 2008

    May your VD be a good one!

    Itchy!

    Like last years x

    ReplyDelete
  22. The Mistress3:44 PM, February 14, 2008

    SID: I’ve run out of that ointment you sent me.

    Scratch my itch, you lovable fat-arsed Irish cunt.

    Now bend over. I have a Valentine pressie for you. x

    ReplyDelete
  23. Miss Smuggersham3:57 PM, February 14, 2008

    Hey! How did you get a picture of me pre- facial depilation?

    ReplyDelete
  24. S.I.D.4:24 PM, February 14, 2008

    *bends waiting*

    Ha WV cnutsyous


    Sweet for VD day EH?

    ReplyDelete
  25. The Mistress4:35 PM, February 14, 2008

    T-BIRD: I found those ads you did for Epilady.

    SID: Come closer.

    *stretches tongue toward Norn Iron*

    cnutsyous youcuntyou

    ReplyDelete
  26. D. Prince4:36 PM, February 14, 2008

    Happy Valentine's Day Darling!

    ReplyDelete
  27. S.I.D.4:37 PM, February 14, 2008

    *notes wart on above said tongue*

    No need for piercing that MJ.

    ReplyDelete
  28. The Mistress4:37 PM, February 14, 2008

    D.PRINCE: A cuddle to you from one Canuck to another.

    ReplyDelete
  29. The Mistress4:39 PM, February 14, 2008

    SID: You dirty bastard, you snuck in from behind.

    You Catholics like to use the back door, don't you?

    ReplyDelete
  30. BEAST4:55 PM, February 14, 2008

    Happy Valentines day you old bag

    ***makes kissy , kissy noises***

    ReplyDelete
  31. The Mistress5:06 PM, February 14, 2008

    BEAST: And to you, you slack-arsed, stained-anorak-wearing yokel.

    *makes squishy squishy noises*

    ReplyDelete
  32. The Old Tarf5:48 PM, February 14, 2008

    Valentine's day- Here on the East Coast almost over for another year. thanks for the visit.

    Do not mind Mutley- I am sure you cannot always believe everything he says. I am sure his bark is louder than his bite.

    I am from Comox orginally. Spent some time Beach combing on Wreck Bay enjoying all the very wild, wild mushrooms that used to grow there and various other plants that were used for Medicinal purposes.

    ReplyDelete
  33. The Mistress6:05 PM, February 14, 2008

    TARF: Mutley can bite me. I’ve had my shots.

    I’m originally from Ontari-ari-ari-o and can’t wait to move back there a.s.a.p.

    Mushrooms, eh? You sound like a fun-guy.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Manuel7:40 PM, February 14, 2008

    magnificent!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Romeo Morningwood1:43 AM, February 15, 2008

    I hate to be a party pooper but see the large crest on the back of the head..
    that's a boyrilla!

    ReplyDelete
  36. S.I.D.3:39 AM, February 15, 2008

    Catholics?

    Back door?


    Roses are red,
    Chocolate is bitter,
    Tonight my love,
    I'm shagging your shitter.

    ReplyDelete
  37. The Mistress5:49 AM, February 15, 2008

    MANUEL: There's a little something for you in the tip jar.

    LORD T: The gurlyboyrilla has been exposed!

    SID: SID!!!

    *blushes*

    ReplyDelete

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