Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Cleanest Place in Britain




Finalists this year in each category of the Clean Britain Awards were:

CITIES

Birmingham, Cardiff, City of London, Coventry, Edinburgh, Leeds, Newcastle, Truro, Westminster and York.

TOWNS

Ipswich and Lewisham.

DISTRICTS

Braintree, Chester, Durham, Mendip, Oadby & Wigston.

And the winner is…

Birmingham!


Not surprisingly, Barnsley was ruled out because of its filthy residents.

But wasn’t it just last month that the residents of Birmingham placed amongst the Top 10 Cities With the Dirtiest Hair?

And Birmingham made it onto the list of the Top 10 Stupidest Places in the UK.

It doesn’t end there. Brummies ranked number one in the Biggest Mouths in the UK poll.

Will the real Birmingham please stand up?

23 comments:

  1. Yay! First!

    Birmingham? Fucking Birmingham?

    Are they having a fucking laugh?

    Birmingham has GOT to be one of the most filthy fucking places I've ever been.

    I suppose the biggest mouth bit is right, but the cleanest place? Yeah, right.

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  2. Oh and I just thought I'd mention...

    It's hardly surprising the City of London (which is quite seperate from the London we all know - which is actually 'Greater London') was in the running.

    BECAUSE NO FUCKER LIVES THERE!

    The City of London is actually the financial district where all the fat-cats work out their devious plans.

    At 3:30pm, the place is deserted.

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  3. And..

    Lewisham isn't a town. It's a London Borough.

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  4. Brit's love some hate some related to some: avoid most. Paddy
    http://paddunn.blogspot.com/

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  5. I'm so glad Manchester isn't clean.
    How boring that would be.

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  6. PIGGY: Lewisham's not a town? Serves me right for taking my information from the British Cleaning Council; the organization who put together these awards. They need to hire fact checkers. From now on I'll vet all my information through you before I post.

    PADDY: Welcome! Did that old twat Knudsen send you here? Yes, avoid the Brits at all costs. I try but they keep making their way back here.

    KAZ: It makes me feel unclean just posting something today that isn't filthy. Maybe I should visit Manchester to feel the filth again.

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  7. You want filth? Try Bristol.

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  8. CONNIE: Home of the Bristol Stool Scale.

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  9. I dont think I ve ever been To Birmingham??? (is this related?) Im not keen on the Brummy Accent.but then Im a silver-tongued Yorkshireman so maybe Im just lucky!

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  10. TONY: Has your silver tongue turned to rust?

    I don't understand a word of what you've posted.

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  11. bye heck lass.........thownose.....

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  12. Something very spooky is happening. MJ spouting Yorkshire words....

    Funnily enough, MJ may be learning to speak Yorkshire Talk sooner than she thinks.

    *whistles*

    *wonders if she's intruiged yet*

    *hopes she is because I'm not explaining*

    *she'll realise soon enough*

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  13. PIGGY: Well I'm arse over tit curious now!

    Tell me, you cryptic cunts!

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  14. Barnsley...obese capital of Britain
    Barnsley chavs

    Can you make them out?

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  15. SID: Not obese enough that their bellies cover up those nasty thongs!

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  16. Hmmmm, they did look nasty, surrounded by all that white blubber.

    What were they saying anyway?

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  17. SID: Buncha blithering idiots. Even more unintelligible than you. Were it possible.

    *calls in Tazzy to translate*

    And I was distracted by that one chav adjusting his package.

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  18. Birmingham, Cardiff, City of London, Coventry, Edinburgh, Leeds, Newcastle, Truro, Westminster and York.

    Load of fucken shite. Seeing as they nominate a fucken midden like Birmingham ,what about Liverpool?

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  19. EDDIE: Liverpool? Number 3 on 'The Top 10 Stupidest Places in the UK.'

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  20. That's bullshit too. It is in a class of it's own.

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  21. EDDIE: Don't shoot the messenger.

    Blame The Sun.

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  22. You write very well.

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