Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Women Who Pee Standing Up

Following yesterday’s “Men Who Pee Sitting Down” we bring you the female counterpart; Women Who Pee Standing Up.

I know, I know. I should have saved this posting for tomorrow: International Women’s Day.

What’s today then? Election day in Northern Ireland?

Piss on it. Let’s get started.


Wouldn’t it be a relief to relieve yourself freely like a man?

Sick and tired of long public restroom queues?

Do you acrobatically “hover” so as not to make contact with the filthy, syphilis-ridden toilet seat?

So what’s a gal to do?

Thankfully, we live in a day and age where manufacturers are hard at work catering to our pee fantasies.

Infomaniac presents . . . PEE GADGETRY!


Very simple to use. The URINELLE hygienic cone is held with one hand and springs into its correct shape simply by pressing either side. Its anatomical shape has been tested and adapts to all women. Thanks to its wide edge, there is NO RISK at all of urinating to one side of it and getting your clothes wet.

NB: The use of the Urinelle could feel strange at first. Be aware that the tube will feel warm.


The P-Mate is basically like a cardboard shoe with the toe cut off. You place the entrance of the 'shoe' directly under your urethra, between your legs, pee into the shoe and then make sure that the hole at the toe end is funnelling the urine out somewhere other than on your feet.

The Whiz

“We're the company whose products let women pee standing up like a guy, just by unzipping their fly.”

The Whiz’s claim to fame?

The Whiz Plus has helped three British women complete an arduous 580-kilometer to the magnetic North Pole.

Stadium Gal

The Stadium Gal is an undetectable female leg bag or “female urinary pouch.”

If astronaut Lisa Nowak had only known about Stadium Gal. An alternative to driving cross-country in a diaper.


The TravelMate cradle is designed to fit comfortably between the labia majora (the outer lips) and over the labia minora (the inner lips), forming a leak-free seal with the female anatomy. The urethral opening is then temporarily enclosed within the cradle so that urine has only one way out— down the tube and out through the tip. This patented design is why we’re able to make the TravelMate so small and discreet.
There’s no need to worry about breaking it. That’s because the soft, flexible, yet durable medical-grade plastic is a type that springs back to its original shape after being sat on, twisted, or otherwise bent.

River rafters, divers and other boaters will appreciate that TravelMates accidentally dropped in the water will float.


(image will appear below in a second)

Write your name in the snow with the Whizzy!

Whizzy is a device that enables a woman to urinate from a standing position like a man. It is formed of heavy paper that slides virtually flat between your legs and opens to form a trough. Its unique and patented shape, angle and easy-grip handles make it very easy to use. It adjusts to each user's anatomy and stance. You stand naturally, with no bending or straddling necessary. It is disposable, and fits easily into purse, pocket or backpack.

It’s time for some market research. Go off and try some of these products and report back to us.

And tell us your “pee standing up” stories.

In the meantime, I’m gonna try out some of these gadgets to see how far I can pee. How much do you want to bet I can pee farther than some of our male readers? Especially SID. No contest there.


  1. Pish!

    Isn't it interesting that all of these gadgets and what not, that allow wimmin to piss standing up, all take the phallic shape? (apart from stupid stuff like bags strapped to legs).

    Just goes to show that men have the more adaptive and evolutionary advanced pee equipment.

    The wimmin must feel so inferior.

    And rightly so.

    Yay! First!

  2. I can pee standing up...

    Over Steve...and SID...and Piggy.

    Foolish cunts.

    I shall have my day of glory.

    But to dial my therapist as, they have broken my spirit and now I must drown in tears.

  3. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
    So why does my beer taste like piss?
    How do I know what piss tastes like?

    No sorry my mistake I'm drinking Bud.

  4. MJ: Wasted = falling down drunk

    Surely the Stadium Gal is just a colostomy bag with a funky name?

    Isn't that last cartoon what happened after you surprised the photographer?

  5. Surely it's possible to make something like that out of a bit of garden hose?

    Could've done with something like that in the past when I *stopped for a break* in the countryside. I was absolutely desperate and the coast was clear, but a jogger suddenly appeared from nowhere.

    ... and there was the time that I couldn't get access to my friend's bathroom because her room was in the way and she was making out with some bloke she'd picked up ... still, that's another story.

  6. PIGGY: If I had advanced evolutionary pee equipment, I’d pish on your carpet.

    AWA: That liquid you’re drowning in isn’t tears.

    KNUDSEN: Bud? A Canuck pees “Molson Canadian.”

    CONVICT: Do you really want what happened to SID to happen to you?

    BETTY: One of those recoiling garden hoses might do the trick. Springs back into your body for easy put-away and storage.

  7. I do pee standing up....when I'm in shower.

  8. so i'm guessing you drew those pictures yourself? is that you torturing SID again?

  9. 1. ladies, when settling in for a revivifying tinkle in the woods, you must remember to hold the crotch of your pants well out and away from the stream lest you fill both shoes with wee, double funnel stylee.

    2.i suppose nobody realizes that there is a valid method whereby women can whiz standing up without resorting to devices.
    i must enlighten the ignorant, then, must i? fine.
    it's known as the 'two finger' method.
    look it up.

  10. Finally the last hinderance to true equality has been breached!
    *wipes a tear from his eye*

    and Shania said,
    "Man I feel like a Woman!"

  11. This post is very timely for me as I'm having a Cystoscopy tommorrow afternoon! I will be pissing razorblades no doubt!

  12. PRU: Different pipes go to different places! You're gonna mix 'em up!

    PINK: No. And yes.

    FN: I take it it’s not the same method as two finger typing?

    HE: Didn’t Shania also say, “If Urine It For Love?”

    TONY: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    A Cystoscopy? Why is your pee burning? Was it something you got off a toilet seat?

  13. Thanks for doing this invaluable research.
    I'm still wondering whether it's better to get caught behind a tree using the conventional method or standing up with one of these whizzies.

  14. KAZ: With the Whiz you won't get caught with your pants down.

  15. FN's right, I previously researched this. The two finger meathod means placing two fingers either side of but half way between the clit and pee hole. This directs the pee forward. Just have to remember to start forcefully and end abruptly.
    Better to use a funnel.
    I believe there was actually a femail toilet in a sports stadium in Dallas fitted with mens urinals just to increase capacity.
    Here in South Wales, When the womens toilets are overwhelmed, The ladies use the gents.

    It worries me that I know all this.

  16. Are you taking the piss out of me again?

    Your the urination of all that is clean!

  17. why am i not suprised that tick already knew this?

    of course, this is the same guy that googled 'teeth vagina' just for laughs.

    ...and got a picture of a woman with a dead sheep on her head.

  18. TICKERS & FN: *wonders what else Tickers is keeping from us*

    SID: Urine trouble!

    Report to me after school.

    - HeadMistress MJ

  19. Noooo! You don't need one of these fake weenies! Go to and learn to just you what you were born with and pee over 1 meter in distance. It works!

  20. Yeah I have heard about these things for women. I have been told from good authority (My butchish lez cousin) that most of them do not work as directed.
    But, hey, having a penis is very useful especially when it comes to urinating.

    And nice comment Old Knudsen. Buttwiper or rather Budweiser does taste like piss, though I really don't know what that taste like either.

  21. That's ridiculous. Women can pee standing up without tools (unless they don't want to touch themselves, though some can without touching themselves if they have to pee somewhere close to their body.)
    Women who pee standing up are completely common place in some countries, like Ghana or Togo, so I don't know what's with people in France (where I live) or America who think it isn't possible at all.

  22. I think an update on this post is needed!
    Many thanks for the information.