Help me blow up these balloons (quick and naughty video clip!)
What started as a blog meant to post quirky news items, oddball links and also to document my personal interests (music, design, architecture, literature, and Fenian cocksucking) has rapidly deteriorated into the cesspool of filth that you know as Infomaniac.
In that time I’ve been insulted continually by Yorkshire’s biggest poofs, engaged in heated bitchfights with America’s Biggest Psycho Bitch, courted by a Scottish old age pensioner, and cleaned up countless mornings-after-the-night-befores left behind by a drunken Irish bastard hooer. To name just a few.
And thanks to ALL OF YOU who visit, comment, and make me laugh. It’s been a swell year thanks to you lot. Thank you one and all (even Piggy) for creating this fabulous Community of Cunts.
In retrospect, I should have taken the day off however I’m working today.
But this party is really for YOU, my sweet and nasty bitches.
So party on and I’ll pop in and out throughout the day.
Help yourself to a slice of cake…
I’ll just put the kettle on now, shall I?
Happy Birthday,MJ.........my ,they are Big..........{winks)
ReplyDeleteOne year old huh? lets hope you'll be potty mouthed trained by the time you reach two.
ReplyDeleteShite! I wanted to be first.
ReplyDeleteI so love the way Tony always passes his twitch off as a wink.
Anyway (fave word)..
Has it really only been a year? Fuck's sake, it feels like at least five.
Isn't it amazing how everything seems to take longer when it's something you don't enjoy?
We'll say 'Happy fucking Birthday' anyway, just to keep the peace.
And do you know that statistics show that most blog never reach this point? A good 70% or so stumble, falter and die within 6 months of their inception.
Well at least you succeeded on the 'Oddball Links'
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday ... and may the cesspool of filth continue to fester.
Happy Birthday Infomaniac....
ReplyDeleteI don't leave a comment much, but just to let you know that I read your blog EVERYDAY. and you never fail to make me smile, especially the thought of sitting on that kettle ;o)
Anyone for a cuppa?
Piggy?
x
Happy birthday Infomaniac. I shall raise a glass to you on Sunday when it is my not-blog-birthday.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday. Like the cake!
ReplyDeleteHappy birfday meng. Nice balloons.
ReplyDeleteFucking Canadians and Yanks will insist on having anniversaries and birthdays for everything won't they?
ReplyDeleteWell happy birthday anyway Infomaniac, you cunt!
Does that kettle whistle?
I like my tea strong!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday, MJ.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to the next post on modern architecture:
"This one's built like a stallion!"
We'll drink a toast to you at about lunctime Canuck time.
Happy first birthday Infomaniac!
ReplyDeleteI fell in your cesspool MJ, and haven't been able to get out. Never mind though, it gives me something to throw at Piggy!
*holds IVF's head under and laughs*
ReplyDeleteTONY: You don’t know the pleasure it brings me to have you knock Piggy out of first place.
ReplyDeleteTake note that the policy here is to yell as loudly as possible, “Yay! I’m first!”
KNUDSEN: Potty mouthed trained? Not with you as my role model.
PIGGY AND TAZZY: My iron lung keeps me going.
And the will to Photoshop the pair of you as often as possible.
KAZ: Remember to hose yourself down on your way out.
CARLY: A watched kettle never boils. Please avert your eyes ‘til the tea is brewed.
You mean you don’t get Steve to read my blog to you? Make that useless husband of yours earn his keep.
CONNIE: Start making sense.
Is it your own personal birthday on Sunday then?
I hope you’re not expecting prezzies.
BILLY: I’ll save a marzipan bedpost for you.
KAV: You’ve removed the pencils from up yer nostrils!
Please reinsert them. I like a man who isn’t afraid to stick foreign objects up his orifices.
STEVEY: Listen to Old Bendy Bits himself calling ME a cunt!
Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?
SPIKEY: Where’s the Tim Hortons donuts you promised us?
GEOFF: "Built like a stallion." Those are my exact words to describe the Chrysler Building in NYC!
I dream of scaling its lofty spire.
IVF: Piggy’ll be like a pig in muck if you throw that mess at him.
PIGGY: Don’t dislodge IVF’s wig.
Let's all the Mj the clap she so richly deserves!
ReplyDelete*wild applause* ;)
FROBI: A pox on you and anyone else who dare says I'm "clapped out."
ReplyDeleteI must've made sense cos you understood me ;o)
ReplyDeleteI'd be very worried if you ever sent me a prezzie. Never know what it'd be apart from rude and/or painful.
CONNIE: My prezzie to you is the Electro Handjob.
ReplyDeleteNote that it says, “Have a friend join in.”
Get on the blower to Piggy right now.
Yay for Mj!
ReplyDeletelet's all sing, shall we?
Happy blogday to you!
Happy blogday to you!
it's about time you posted up more pictures of naked soccer player pictures with their weiners hanging out, cheezerrrrrrr......
Happy blogday to you!
*perched atop bookcase, underpants on head, throwing handfulls of green bean casserole randomly*
Happy birthday! Although I think this blog showed such great promise at the start when you used to discuss mid-19th century Russian literature and post modernism.
ReplyDeleteI hope that kettle hasn't just boiled, or someone could have a nasty accident and end up walking like a cowboy for the next six months. Then they'd sue you for gross negligence. That's no way to end a party.
With that kettle you could dilute and cream your Nescafe at the same time.
ReplyDeleteDilute Nescafe? Is it possible to dilute that shite? It'd end up tasting just like hot water.
ReplyDeleteFN: I can't promise you stark naked footballers but I've some new shirtless pics that might interest you.
ReplyDeleteBETTY: I feel I've let you down. You'll have to go elsewhere for Gogol. You could, I suppose, always Google Gogol and see what other blogs are focusing on his works.
GEOFF: Not just cream.
I want a little sugar in my bowl.
PIGGY: I've just diluted my brew with a shot of vodka. I suggest you all do the same.
Hooray! Congrats to our sweet MJ!
ReplyDeleteI'm proud to say I knew you from before your Infomaniac days. Chelly sheds tears of pride as she browses through Infomaniac's archives of arses, boobs, insults and other entertaining moments.
Never a dull moment. Good times aplenty.
Happy B-day Infomaniac! :)
Happy Birthday to one of the most hillarious bloggers ever. Thank you for making me tee hee on a daily basis, you naughty old minx.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to you Darling my number 1 lot's of love Paddy
ReplyDeleteWell I for one am certainly going to miss all of your zany highbrow hijinx.
ReplyDeleteIt certainly was a thrill a minute seeing how far you could stay ahead to the Professional Standards Committee of the CRTC...you had them working overtime!
Sorry to see you go but I wish you all the best in your new..
what?
What do you mean she's not quitting?
She already cashed the cheque didn't she?
It cleared right?
Oh sh*t!..
ahem...Ok then...
Here is to another great year of walking on the wild side...
Happy Birthday ((MUAH!))
CHELLY: *hopes Piggy notices the bit about "Sweet MJ"*
ReplyDeleteNo, YOU'RE the sweet one, dolly girl. Although I'm concerned I've been a bad influence what with that new stripper pole of yours.
EDITH: Thanks to both you and your cousin Pru. I rely on you for celebrity scandal!
PADDY: And lots of love to you, Paddy, my silver-tongued Fenian friend.
Glad you're feeling better. You had a close escape. Piggy wanted to take your temperature!
HE: Did you say "wanking" on the wild side?
*slaps HE in the face*
I did notice the words 'Sweet MJ', but decided they must have been written by an escaped psychiatric patient and ignored them.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't like vodka. A nice glass of Shiraz or a double JD and coke for me.
If you'd been any kind of decent host, you'd have known that.
Happy Bithday, Cunt.
ReplyDeleteOh wait, it's really not YOUR birthday is it. It's your blog's birthday.
WTF!?!? How the fuck can a blog have a birthday?
Try an anniversary, you daft Canuck.
And where's the non-alcoholic drinks??
PIGGY: If you were any kind of decent guest, you'd have noticed that I put out a separate food trough just for you.
ReplyDeleteFrankly I was shocked at Steve's description on his blog of how much you ate that weekend away with the Smunts.
No wonder they call you Piggy.
MAIDY: I gave birth to this blog so I'll call it a birthday if I please. Fuck you very much.
How much more non-alcoholic than tea can you get?
Do you not see the kettle, you daft cunt?
Hrmmph.
ReplyDelete*takes a sip*
Well, okay then.
I still say "anniversary", thick-o!
This tea has an interesting flavor.
*looks at the kettle*
Ohhhh, that explains it. I'll have another, thank you.
MAIDY: *hopes you choke on it*
ReplyDeleteOh, I forgot.
You have no gag reflex.
Happy birthday from me and my cock.
ReplyDeleteI've just been sick on the pile of coats in the bedroom.
ReplyDeleteSorry about that.
FARMER GILES: I'd like to take this opportunity to say that you have a most exquisite cock.
ReplyDeletePerhaps the finest cock in all of England.
I'd love to stroke your cock but it seems a little skittish.
BETTY: When I said we might engage in 'hurling' at this party, I was refering to the GAME of hurling. Not the expulsion of your stomach lining.
Honestly. Geoff can't take you anywhere.
I'll just call Piggy in to clean that up.
And now you know why Geo is so happy!
ReplyDeleteMAIDY: And half the street-corner winos in Philadelphia.
ReplyDeleteYayyyy! I think you and I started about the same time. I have to check my blogger archives! Its been that long huh!!?
ReplyDeleteA decent guest shouldn't have to await a decent host pointing out seperate food.
ReplyDeleteWhats this then? Segregation for Cute Wee Pigsters?
You don't really believe all that shite the Smunts said about me having a big appetite, do you? Wee Me?
And I'm so glad our Maidy pointed out your stupid fucking error with Birthday and Anniversary. Thick Canuck cunt, indeed.
Well observed, Maidy!
We like Maidy now.
Well, we liked her before too, but you know what I mean. Even more now.
Even though she's a breeding yank.
mj, betty barfed on the coats.
ReplyDeletethe toilet's full of salmon too.
i've just ordered more neutrogena and dexedrine. let Lazlo know i've already tipped the bellman, ok?
*falls into pool*
...why is the tea pouring so slow?
ReplyDelete*falls into copper penny salad*
I guess I am fashionably late as comment number 43 which just happens to be Ringo Starr's lucky number. At least I brought booze... a half bottle of Grey Goose and a 5 pack of Newcastle Brown Ale.There ya go chicken. Where are all the women at then? Toooonight, Ahhhhmm goooonnnaaa get meeee sooome luvvvvin'. Poo! Jesus Christ was that me? I'm sorry I had brussels sprouts for me tea. I'm brastin fer a shite actually. Where's the bog love? Nice tats by the way, are they real? Come on love, give us a birthday kiss...burp...vomit...etc. etc.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday you screwed up, twisted, perverter of innocent minds.
AWA: Next party’s at yours then!
ReplyDeleteCUTE WEE PIGSTER: Birthday, anniversary, blogiversary.
You and that skank Maidy are just lucky you were invited.
Ungrateful cunts.
FN: Dexadrine, yes. And for those who overate (like Piggy) put in an order for Dexatrim.
EDDIE: I know about John Lennon and the number 9 but this is the first I’ve heard of Ringo and 43.
Lemme keep that bottle of Grey Goose safe for ya. Pass it over here.
The bog’s full of salmon apparently so you’ll have to use the outhouse.
Are the tits real? Here. You tell ME. Have a squeeze.
And if yer gonna vomit, at least have the decency to gargle with this mouthwash before you give me a kiss.
EVERYONE: Where did you go?
ReplyDeleteI just got home from work and I want to party!
Fucking Brits are all in bed as it's just past 4 in the morning. Useless bunch of twats.
FN was handing out dexedrine so you'd stay up for me!
I'll just have to start drinking alone then.
No party at my spot! Last time that happened, Piggy pissed the floor! That was rank to clean!
ReplyDeleteMJ...I just checked...I posted my first blog entry March 3rd! So its too late for me!! :)
ReplyDeleteAWA: Yes, it IS too late for you. And I'm not talking about your blog anniversary.
ReplyDelete*runs and hides*
Don't make me run after you! You know I got them thar arthritic knees!!
ReplyDelete