Saturday, October 17, 2009

Rubber Gloves Phobia



We were amused to find this comment from BEAST on KAZ’s blog …

Pa Beasty was a chemist and used to hide a rubber glove containing a bit of dry ice in my chest of drawers .when an unsuspecting young Beast opened a drawer the rubber glove used to leap out with the expanding c02 , inflate to an enormous size and then explode..particularly 'hilarious' if the glove was filled with talcum powder.....you can imagine it got old very quickly and left me with a lifelong fear of drawers AND rubber gloves
***twitch***


Can anyone suggest a form of therapy for Beast’s fear of rubber gloves and/or his fear of drawers?

Or tell us about your own experiences with rubber gloves.

35 comments:

  1. Mmmm, everyone has gone away. Perhaps they're all nursing hangovers, lol. Well, while cat's away the mice will play.
    *Runs off to rummage through Mistress MJ's underwear drawer*

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  2. What on earth are these huge granny pants doing here?

    *runs around with one of her bras on his head pretending to be Biggles, WW1 flying ace*

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  3. Ginro, those granny pants are nothing like the Giant Underpants that were paraded around Infomaniac at the beginning of the year!

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  4. "therapy for Beast’s fear of rubber gloves"

    Yes, a gimp suit.


    Oh Hai Ponita!

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  5. I don't mind rubber gloves. I have a pink pair for when I clean.

    Very practical but your hand end up smelling like weeks old dead goat.

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  6. It's morning here, even with my lie-in.

    I am happy to say I have no issues with rubber gloves. I use them to do the dishes.

    I like the branded versions - Marigolds, bright yellow, thicker than the cheap shit. Though yes, they do make your hands smell.

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  7. Are you up for a bucks fizz, Roses?

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  8. A fear of rubber gloves is good. Most British blokes of a certain age suffer from rubber fetishism which is most unsavoury.
    But Beast needs to get his hands in some drawers pretty soon - a good woman would save him from the unreasonable demands of Mr C.

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  9. Notice how Mr Beastie hasn't developed a fear of talcum powder... interesting.
    Sx

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  10. Well sometimes I like to put on a pink rubber glove then squish it down a vat of lard then plunge it up my butt.

    But only sometimes...

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  11. GINRO & PONITA: May I remind you that the topic here today is RUBBER GLOVES … NOT granny pants.

    XL: "therapy for Beast’s fear of rubber gloves"
    Yes, a gimp suit.


    We clicked on your ‘gimp suit’ link only to find what looks like Beast after ingesting too much of Ma Beastie’s chickpea curry.

    CYBERPOOF: I don't mind rubber gloves. I have a pink pair for when I clean.
    Very practical but your hand end up smelling like weeks old dead goat.


    We have not had occasion to smell old dead goat.

    Is this a specialty dish from Denmark?

    BEAST: ***gibbers in corner***

    Gibbering in the corner is most unbecoming.

    *snaps rubber glove in Beast’s face*

    ROSES: It's morning here, even with my lie-in.
    I am happy to say I have no issues with rubber gloves. I use them to do the dishes.
    I like the branded versions - Marigolds, bright yellow, thicker than the cheap shit. Though yes, they do make your hands smell.


    Perhaps if you sprinkled some talcum powder in them, they wouldn’t smell.

    KAZ: A fear of rubber gloves is good. Most British blokes of a certain age suffer from rubber fetishism which is most unsavoury.
    But Beast needs to get his hands in some drawers pretty soon - a good woman would save him from the unreasonable demands of Mr C.


    We would love to hear your theories on why most British blokes of a certain age suffer from rubber fetishism.

    Canadian fellas don’t have this preoccupation to the same extent.

    As for Mr C and his unreasonable demands on Beast, we are convinced that Beast enjoys being his whipping boy.

    SCARLET: Notice how Mr Beastie hasn't developed a fear of talcum powder... interesting.

    Let’s you and I talcum his bare bottom, shall we?

    GINRO: Be still my beating heart

    I’ll still your beating heart if you don’t stop banging on about granny pants.

    AYEM8Y: Well sometimes I like to put on a pink rubber glove then squish it down a vat of lard then plunge it up my butt.
    But only sometimes...


    If you’re right-handed, try doing it with your left to make it feel like somebody else is doing it to you.

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  12. So running around with your bra on my head is ok then? WooHoo! I also turned one of your thongs into a catapult.

    And I take Umbrage at Kaz's 'most British blokes'. Firstly, how does she know? *hem hem*

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  13. Beast probably needs immersion therapy - many women wearing rubber demanding that he deal with their drawers I think...

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  14. Apparently - it's because all Brits were issued with free rubber gas masks during the war.
    There was no telly then so they played with their gas masks.
    Ginro - I did say 'of a certain age'.
    But judging by what I read in the tabloids it must be hereditary.

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  15. GINRO: Did you know Mistress MJ that today is Global Hand-Washing Day?

    Thank you for bringing this important public service announcement to our attention.

    Although, yet again, you have gone off-topic.

    But while we’re on the subject of personal hygiene, we must ask you …

    Just how clean is your arse?

    GINRO: So running around with your bra on my head is ok then? WooHoo! I also turned one of your thongs into a catapult.
    And I take Umbrage at Kaz's 'most British blokes'. Firstly, how does she know? *hem hem*


    Those bras are expensive.

    Get them off your head at once or you won’t be able to see KAZ’s response to your question.

    LULU: Beast probably needs immersion therapy - many women wearing rubber demanding that he deal with their drawers I think...

    Are you a licensed behavioural therapist?

    Because this solution is brilliant!

    Let’s all of us laydeez snap our rubber gloves at Beast in unison, for starters.

    KAZ: Apparently - it's because all Brits were issued with free rubber gas masks during the war.
    There was no telly then so they played with their gas masks.
    Ginro - I did say 'of a certain age'.
    But judging by what I read in the tabloids it must be hereditary.


    We had NO idea!

    Moving along now, how do you account for British blokes’ predilection for dressing in women’s clothing?

    We find you Brits fascinating albeit odd.

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  16. Bear with me, I was thinking -

    1. Talcum powder
    2. Rubber gloves
    3. Smelly hands
    4. Hand-washing
    5. Global hand-washing

    And that comment you made: Considering your diet of Baked Beans a la Mexicano, and your arse scratching and finger sniffing, I would suggest showering twice a week.
    Spooky. Could almost have been made for me, lol.

    But 'of a certain age' is too vague to qualify as a proper finding as it doesn't lay down any specific parameters. More than that, it also then needs to qualify the statement with peer-reviewed data to back up the claim, which it does not. So really it's just an opinion based upon the message portrayed by certain (again unspecified) tabloid newspapers, which further reduces the statement to little more than unsubstantiated gossip, when based upon the, verified and verifiable, reputation of tabloids for printing unqualified nonsense and their proven habit of distorting stories that cross their desks, of which I have personal experience and can certainly vouch for with documentary data.

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  17. WHAT has Ginro got to hide??

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  18. GINRO & KAZ: The pair of you will have to sort this out.

    Mistress MJ is away for the rest of the day.

    *snaps rubber gloves one more time at Beast before parting*

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  19. My postcard arrived
    What a marvellous beaver Miss MJ

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  20. 29th! I suggest Mr Beast pulls himself up by the boot straps and snaps out of it.

    Too touchy feely?

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  21. Sorry, I have to buy some lard.

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  22. BEAST: My postcard arrived
    What a marvellous beaver Miss MJ


    Canadian beaver is extraordinary, isn’t it?

    KNUDSEN: 29th! I suggest Mr Beast pulls himself up by the boot straps and snaps out of it.
    Too touchy feely?


    YOU have connections.

    Can you get him on the Dr. Phil show?

    JASON: Sorry, I have to buy some lard.

    Ayem8y has plenty to spare.

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  23. I've once filled a rubber glove with Plaster of Paris for an art project at school and painted talons and rings on it. It looked fabulous and got many comments.

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  24. MITZI: I've once filled a rubber glove with Plaster of Paris for an art project at school and painted talons and rings on it. It looked fabulous and got many comments.

    You’re extraordinarily crafty.

    I’d use it to put my bracelets and rings on.

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  25. Rubber gloves are good for cleaning and handling filth. Very useful when visiting on Filthy Fridays.

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  26. EROS: Rubber gloves are good for cleaning and handling filth. Very useful when visiting on Filthy Fridays.

    And they give good grip.

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