Thursday, August 21, 2008


When we last left our heroine, Mistress MJ was spinning through time and space in a TARDIS.


Helpful Infomaniac readers left suggestions as to where we might land the TARDIS.

However, the TARDIS has a mind of its own and it set its sights over the Pacific NorthWest.

The TARDIS was on its way to visit (hold your breath!) its American cousin, the TURDIS…

Not surprisingly, the TURDIS is located in the front yard of our very own First Nations!

The TURDIS lost no time in introducing the TARDIS to a few of his friends; all of them taking up residence on Nation’s front lawn…

The Twins…

The Holy Roller…

The Geriatric…

And looky here! It’s Inner Voices! He’s on the Throne Phone inviting y’all to come by and welcome Mistress MJ back…


  1. Burger King is offering a special on a new product called the "Dark Whopper."

    Just thought i'd mention that.

  2. yah, yah, SECOND. I'm too tired to care.

    The most disturbing thing about this post (and there are many) is the last picture. I think that one's real. As in, not staged.

  3. sorry about that AB ... for some unknown reason angela just had to squeeze a quick comment out all of a sudden.

  4. Luckily for you there are a lot of Japanese Immigrants living in the Pacific NorthWest too so you can continue tormenting them about their cultural predisposition of not gettin' any..
    with their spouses HELLO!

    We certainly know why Mrs. Fokuda San is not gettin' any!

    I like Nation's is the crowing achievement of her horticultural creativity.
    She is the Queen of Pee-on-knees.

  5. *dives through photo albums and notices empty page where throne phone picture used to be*

    damn you mj!!!

    i do think you managed to get into the turdis when you came back in time for this pic... not yer tardis...

    *hides beer behind back on throne*

  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. Angela - it was a fair firsty.


  8. Oh that's disgusting.

    Talking on the phone while on the bog.


  9. I don't see any paper to wipe his harris on. Maybe he just uses his undies like I do. If you turn them around and inside out you can get 4days out of each pair.

    Save the planet, rotate your jockeys!

  10. I hope he keeps his eyes open. I see a nasty stake sticking out by his foot. He could trip and end up with splinters.

  11. Turdis?
    Does it fly like a turdus?
    Ha Ha!

  12. What does the acronym Turdis stand for then?

    Didn't think of that one did you? Eh? Eh?

  13. I just knew there was more to the Great Toilet Planter coverup.
    Well done for being our 'Deep Throat' and revealing the truth .
    What does Mr Voices do when it rains???

  14. ANGELA: Did you know that it takes two hands to handle Old Knudsen's Whopper?

    BOXER: Angela has what it takes.

    Move over.

  15. Donnnnnnnnnn-san: You make love long time with Mrs. Fokuda?

    Canadian man good?

    Why you away long time make Mistress MJ missing you so?

  16. VOICES: Are you too drunk to repair my TARDIS and get me back to Canada?

    BOXER: Are you back again?

    CYBERPOOF: I know a woman who lost her mobile down the toilet.

    Don't tell me you've never taken a call on the throne.

    BOLLIX: Paper to wipe his harris?

    He prints out pages from your blog for those purposes.

    EROS: That's not a stick, it's a snake.

    You know how boa constrictors can't resist a U-bend.

  17. KAZ: Very funny Kaz (convulsing) and that brings me to a lesson in Canadian history…

    Turdus migratorius was pictured on the back of the Canadian two dollar note until the paper money was replaced by the Toonie coin.

    The two dollar note featuring Turdus migratorius was brown in colour, causing much tittering amongst school children.

    GARFY: TURD In Shitter.

    BEAST: Deep Throat?

    Are you poking fun at my lack of a gag reflex?

    Let’s wait for Ms Nations or Mr. Voices to answer your rain question.

    It’s pouring rain (as usual) outside so Mistress MJ is not keen to think of such matters.

    *considers going back to bed*

    *thankfully doesn’t have a stinky duvet like Beast*

  18. Honest, I have never done that.

    I'm not sure if I want to know if she retrieved it or just flushed.


  19. You have a delightfully strange place here. Someplace between weird and disgusting.

    I feel right at home!

  20. Wow !!!! Two hands to handle his whopper can you believe that. I'd heard he always offered the ladies a hot lunch but didn't know he was THAT generous.

  21. Holy krap ! You weren't shittin' about the turd potters !

  22. CYBERPOOF: She retrieved it but it never worked again.

    MICHAEL: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    Make yourself at home but first you must send me a photo of your bare bottom.

    It is a requirement of all new male Infomaniac readers.

    Oh, and which of your many blogs is your main blog? The one with the bacon grilled prunes recipe or one of the others?

    ANGELA: Old Knudsen is like a smörgåsbord with rice pudding for afters.

    HEFF: All those toilet planters would fit nicely into your yard alongside your 55 gallon trash cans.

  23. That's disgusting.

    I'd have just flushed it because


  24. so do you have one of those cute but annoying stewardesses on board? have you taken on any fun names? like dr.mj or mj who?

    *continues fixing mjs broken joystick , seems as though she spilled her whiskey on it*

  25. CYBERPOO: You've had your hand in filthier places.

    VOICES: I haven't decided on whether I want to be called "Doctor Loo" or "Doctor Poo".

    *jiggles joystick*

  26. I don't believe I have, but it's a close call

  27. goldurnit voices git in here and shit indoors like a human. mailmans comin and i dont want him leavin when he sees you like he did last time. i caint be take the bus down to the fukkin welfare office all the time to pick up my drunk check. NO DAMMIT Y'ALL DONT BE PISSIN IN MY JESUS LOVES YOU PLANTER thats my favori.....oh goldurnit, voices, them portulaca was new. now they gonna die. aw shit don't pass out. HEY MAILMAN DUDE SERIOUS DUDE HEY! HEY! hey dude! mailman! aw shit there he goes.
    you see what you done now voices? hey! you hear me? fine. *takes voices pants off rest of way and shakes contents of pockets out on lawn next to geriatric planter, waves at passing milk truck* yeah bill! ha yew doin!! do the air horn!

  28. Whew! MJ, I'm so glad you didn't end up in a black hole...errr, well, you came close when your Tardis landing next to that Turdus.

    First Nations, I love what you've done with your Jesus toilet. How do you get those daisies to grow so big?

  29. CYBERPOO: You’ve been up to your elbows in it.

    NATIONS: *examines contents of Voices’ pants pockets*

    Woohoo! Yankee dollars!

    *rushes off to liquor store, knocks over mailman and steals Nations’ welfare cheque*

    RANDOM: The TARDIS did, in fact, make a detour through Beast’s black hole but came out the other end unscathed.

  30. *shows mj the joystick and takes away the hello kitty vibrator she was "jiggling" around*

    nations... danggitt woman ahs jus fert-ti-lie-zing the plants agin. yallways tellin me to "git to work", jus thought id start right here enfront of da house...

    *looks around for pants and fishes bent roach out of change pocket nations didnt find.*

    aawwahh... gimme my matches back woman!!

    *walk into trailer with toilet paper stuck to his mandels*

  31. VOICES: Dammit, Voices, how many times have I told you not to come in my back door?

  32. *laughs loud enough for it to be known hes not "working" on the back office computer*

    dang... you got me on that one...

    *loves back door jokes*

  33. Kinky!

    Actually, I've never done that. I probably never will either unless loads of money is involved.

    It's just too weird.

  34. VOICES: And shut the back door behind you!

    We don’t want the others getting in.

    CYBERPOO: What if your French Canadian boyfriend, Alexandre Despatie wanted you to do it?

  35. just stay the fuck out of my way when I'm traveling through space and time, weemen time travelers.

  36. *keeps own back door tightly closed*


    must a time machine of his own...

  37. GAH!!! he went back in time just to post a comment ahead of me!!!

    *runs into turdus and tries to flee the scene.. it doesnt seem to be working for him. sits down to ponder things for a while*

  38. KNUDSEN & VOICES: I was going to warn you two about the cop with the radar gun.

    But now I see a cop about to pull you over with his gaydar gun.

  39. Those aren't quite the twins I was envisioning. But it's your voyage, so whatever.

  40. *peeks head out of turdus... waves it at mj*

  41. Did someone mention FRENCH CANADIANS

    ***imagines stench of open sewers , dodgy sausages and waft of gualoise smoke***
    No wonder this blog is blocked on my work server as a site of exceptional vileness .
    French Canadians indeed , shame on you madam

  42. I would have to seriously think about that. However, I don't think he's into it.

    He's not that kinky.

  43. Looks like white trash to me.

  44. That guy is what I picture every time a telemarketer calls me and forgets that his phone sex shift ended a half hour ago.

    Filth monger.

  45. Thanks to all you bitches who commented this afternoon.

    Mistress MJ has just returned home from work and is knackered.

    Just enough energy to post Filthy Friday but not enough to respond individually to you.

    Bring me my cocktail.