Welcome to Infomaniac’s end of summer Pool Party!
Grab your snorkels and swimsuits and let’s get into the groove.
For your comfort, I’ve arranged for plumbing facilities to be installed. Note to Inner Voices: This means you...
DJ Maxi Cane has travelled all the way from The Emerald Isle to spin some tunes on the turntable…
What’s this? Geoff disagreeing with the DJ’playlist?..
Cocktails are being served by one of my handsome houseboys. Expect CyberPoof to spend most of the day at the bar, playing the role of barfly...
Now let’s see who’s arrived so far.
I see Betty is here all the way from Kent. And doesn’t she look glamourous posing poolside?…
There’s T-Bird teaching Eroswings how to swim…
Kaz has her beer goggles on…
IVD (left, in leopard print swimsuit) is chatting up the always smartly-dressed Mago, who appears to be having a conversation with IVD’s chest…
Daisy feeds Beast a banana. No, Daisy dear, that’s not exactly where Beast likes to have his bananas inserted…
Somewhere a car tire is without its inner tube thanks to First Nations…
Isn’t that Bollix showing off one of his big balls?...
Looks like Random Chick’s found his other ball…
But it’s not all fun and games, oh no. Gather round for an educational lesson in which Garfer demonstrates the physics of floating…
Heff opts for a mud wrap spa treatment…
There’s Anonymous Boxer and a few other lovely Women of Infomaniac performing an elaborate synchronized swimming movement…
Boxer makes it look so easy…like she’s done it a million times before.
Who have we got here? Looks like Ponygirl, Savannah, Cecile, Carnalis and hell, I’m not sure. Leah or Robyn or Catscratch?...
I’m not sure who’s who but they look like they’re good to go, don’t they?
Mistress MJ consults with her poolboy to let him know which of her male guests are most likely to “put out”…
Mistress MJ must then follow up with the female guests to caution them against entertaining delusional thoughts such as this…
I tried to get round to photograph all of you but I’ve run out of film for my Kodak Brownie and need to reload.
And an attractive guest has just arrived and I must slip into the cabana for a few minutes.
While I’m gone, please help yourselves to the appetizers and cocktails.
Look over there! Looks like Old Knudsen’s made a friend!...
Seems like you’re all getting along just fine.
Now everyone into the pool!
I was doing okay with the pics until I hit Old Knudsen's....
ReplyDeleteGuess it's okay that I didn't get a pic. I don't post enough.
Maybe that means something. I'll think about that on my next month off in Newfoundland.
Have a great September MJ!
Oh yeah - maybe YAYYY First!!
Damn! I wanted to be first.... oh well. Yay, second????
ReplyDeleteOh... and MJ? I'm not one of the lovely ladies in your photo. My bazooms are a tad larger than any of those girls. Perhaps once the party is well under way, and you are done in the cabana, you can snap a photo of me.
And I agree with nwtrunner... all the pics were great until Knudsen jumped in the pool. ((shudders and turns away))
Sorry I couldn't make it. My cossie is at the launderette.
ReplyDelete* slaps Mago on top of his head, a la Benny Hill, then sashays off to bicker over the barman with CyberPetra *
ReplyDeletewe all look so cute .. even the little penis learning to swim was endearing, until that inflated furball popped up at the end.
ReplyDelete*climbs into all-over condom*
splash!!
Fantastic party MJ, but I think I left my watch on your bedside table, I put it next to the industrial size bottle of anal lube you were opening.
ReplyDeleteSorry about being sick in the pool, I was fine until Old Knuds coughed and all those little white tadpoles appeared.
If the guest toilet is still backed up in a few days time, let me know and I'll arrange to have it unblocked,(open the window for the time being and try not to breathe too deeply) I guess it's my fault for having a nervous stomach and way too many chilli dogs. I don't think that eating all that Canadian beaver helped matters either.
It feels like an Indian summer to me. First time I've been able to put my cozzie on all year.
ReplyDeleteA sidecar for me!
I'm not going in the water unless there are water wings.
ReplyDeleteI'm hydrophobic you know.
*tells IDV to go play with the DJ or MJs poolboy in those hideous swimming trunks*
ReplyDeleteOh and by the way that particular synchronized swimming move is called the lesbian mill don't ya know.
can I wear my thong ???
ReplyDeleteNWT: Would you like that I post that pic of your backside again?
ReplyDeletePONYGIRL: Now that you’re three sheets to the wind, I’ve snapped your pic and it will appear on Monday.
TICKERS: I have a pic of you in your cossie.
Come back Monday.
IVD: You and CyberPoof are bickering over the barman?
I smell a catfight à la Alexis and Krystal.
CARNALIS: You needn’t have bothered with the body condom.
I have a tube of Spray-On Condom in the cabana.
BOLLIX: A classic case of Beaver Fever.
GEOFF: Someone’s just rimmed your glass.
GARFY: Is your nappy, er, your cossie waterlogged?
CYBERPOOF: For someone who doesn’t like muff, you certainly know a lot about lesbians.
BEAST: No sneaking in the back door allowed!
ReplyDeleteAnd we certainly don’t need to see you in your mankini.
Wow - Cyberpete is even more gorgeous than I expected. Unlike the rest who would do better to stay at home and keep their kit on.
ReplyDeleteExcept Beast and Daisy who look amazingly slim and cute.
Off to get a banana.
KAZ: No no no Kaz!
ReplyDeleteTake off those beer goggles!
CyberPoof is the BARFLY, not the barman.
And Beast only appears to be thin because he's had an unfortunate episode following a platter of Ma Beastie's Chickpea Curry.
Well, it appears I've shrunken! I may need a helping hand to come out of my shell! Don't forget to rub sunscreen on the front as well!
ReplyDeleteI make it my business to know a little bit about everything. Even stuff that is pretty disturbing to me.
ReplyDeleteYou should know I'm more Sable than Alexis and Krystle. So IDV needs to either back off or bring it
EROS: You have to allow for shrinkage in the water.
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: "bring it...."
What happened, Sable?
Did IVD wallop you?
There is no making a move on the man I have my eye on
ReplyDeleteThat's me, back left, I'd recognize my boobs anywhere. They've served me well as waterwings for years. Hitch a ride, Garfer!
ReplyDeleteOh thank God I have clothes on! Yes, I've been watching the Olympics and working hard all summer for my "debut" at your pool party.
ReplyDeleteEr, tell me that's a Baby Ruth bar at the bottom of the pool?
Great! And I was just about to attempt my Combined Spin and it's ruined!!!
**Stomps out of pool, gets beer.**
beast i kind of liked the outfit you were wearing in the picture...thong is not needed :)
ReplyDeleteI love those retro-nudies because
ReplyDeleteA: everybody was so nice and trim back in the 50s & 60s and
B: it's all good clean fun and there isn't any hanky panky goin' on like the last snap where that inconsiderate fellow is blocking the other guy's snorkel!
*Stumbles out of bushes*
ReplyDeletehey the party is here!!! wheres the cold women and warm beer!!!
*pulls off swimsuit to get a little extra sun*
inner voices...i can be rather cold at times...but never to you *hands inner voices a warm beer*
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: Perhaps your man prefers long lanky orange-clad queens.
ReplyDeleteLEAH: Speed bumps ahead!
BOXER: Chocolate bar at the bottom of the pool?
Noooo!!!
Everyone out of the pool!
*points finger at Inner Voices*
DAISY: Please don’t encourage Beast to flaunt his bits.
DONNNNN: And you were found under a cabbage leaf, weren’t you?
Or did the stork bring you?
VOICES: Please ensure coverage of your swimsuit area at all times.
And I want the bottom of the pool scrubbed and disinfected immediately following the Baby Ruth incident.
I rented a chemical toilet for this occasion specifically for your benefit and this is how you repay me?
DAISY: You’re a little tipsy, aren’t you?
Hey guys! Daisy’s had a few too many!
;) hic :)
ReplyDeleteHey! Hey somebody! Hey why's the water warmer in some spots than it is others? *floating past knudson*
ReplyDelete....oh.
never mind.
Yuk has inner Voices 'freed the brown trout' in the pool.
ReplyDeleteI am rather full having been force fed bananas by Daisy and may need the chemical lav shortly.
I am also very taken with IVD's hat , is it a flower pot ??
Hey! hey you guys! I had some of the chickpea curry Beast brought! Watch Watch! I can do a motorboat! Watch! Are you watching?
ReplyDelete*dissappears leaving a roostertail wake*
Don't DJ's get all the chicks? They better, I don't want any old fat dudes eying my fine ass up in the pool.
ReplyDeleteNot unless they're eying it up to pass the info onto hot chicks getting moist for the DJ.
DAISY: We're all watching and you’re looking good, Miss Daisy!
ReplyDeleteNATIONS: Ah, the warmth of the Gulf Stream.
What’s that you said about Old Knudsen?
Everybody out of the pool AGAIN!
BEAST: That’s no hat.
That’s my bra cup with a carnation pinned to it!
Looks like IVD’s nicked my heels too.
NATIONS: I said we’re serving “COCKtails” not “roostertails”.
MAXI: I’m eyeing your fine big Irish arse.
Shake it for mama, Maxi.
Oh god I hope not.
ReplyDeleteIf he likes orange Ts I will have to break it off with him unless...
Nah. I won't go there
mj when i first saw that commercial i thought...no more skinny dipping for me because i could soooo see that happening for real...i have had too many other "interesting" things happen and am eliminating them...well the public ones anyway ;)
ReplyDeleteummm beast...i believe the banana that was forced was not in my hand at the time...not that i am complaining...just keeping the record straight...
ReplyDeleteBOOO!
ReplyDeleteI should get goin
Bartender off with IDV
Alone again
Haven't we been here before?
Pain
Violence
Retribution
Pete get yourself over to the pool, then. Eros says he needs sunscreen all over. Bring a mojito from the cocktail boy, thanks!
ReplyDeleteI think I'll pass on the cocktails and appetizers. I'm not much into little weiners. This is a grand pool party. The decorations are all hung very well.
ReplyDeleteTz, young men ... I let my eyes drink the natural beauty of those hills and bushes there and there, good that someone pulled daisy out of the water. I'd really like to test this spray-on-thing. Is the pool accessible again? What music is playing, something should be louder then the noises from behind the bar ...
ReplyDeleteI'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry, had the kids all day so now that they are showered and ready for bed...let the fun begin!
Whoa! I've never seen such big balls at a pool party before! This is awesome!
If beast wore a thong, he'd have to put his differences to one side.
ReplyDeleteWOW! What a great pool party! And yes we all look fantastic! Even Bollix's big ball!
ReplyDelete*chugs first beer and goes back to IV's Ice chest and grabs out a ice cold beverege*
***Beast wakes in the bushes***
ReplyDelete***Drags himself up and off home***
CYBERPOOF: Unless?
ReplyDeleteDAISY: Do tell.
We’re listening.
CYBERPOOF: I’ve seen your black eye over at your blog.
But nothing can tarnish your glittery personality.
Get back up and hit him with your handbag!
T-BIRD: CyberPoof puts the “mo” in “mojito”.
CECILE: Perhaps you’d prefer a Big Sausage Pizza?
MAGO: I can’t hear a word you’re saying over the IVD/CyberPoof catfight at the bar.
ReplyDeleteI think someone broke a nail.
Watch out for flying hairpieces.
RANDOM: You look like you’ve handled a few big balls in your time if that photo is any indication.
TICKERS: I don’t want to hear the words “thong” and “Beast” in the same sentence again.
ROBYN: If I were you, I wouldn’t drink any so-called “beverage” from IVD.
BEAST: And take your thong with you!
By the way, check the lens on your camera, that picture of me is out of proportion.
ReplyDeleteMy cod piece usually bulges more than that.
I am not in party thats a hurt. I made a product idea that 4 invited guest on that blog by me sort of penile enhancee. Take a luck.
ReplyDeleteYou certainly know how to throw a party don't you?
ReplyDelete*lounges on a chaise by the pool wearing a big hat and sun glasses holding a bloody mary*
Sorry I wasn't there ... My wife wouldn't let me go unless she was invited too. But, thanks to your post I did get to put faces on a lot of your commenters. Well, faces and other things that define them.
ReplyDeleteI'd really like to attend your next shindig. If I have to ... I"ll even sneak out when she's not looking. (or you can just invite her.)
This lawn chair is comfy, here's the Bourbon, I'll have this cigar later, I'm at peace with the world.
ReplyDeleteNice hat cyberpete. Cheers.
Yay! 50th
ReplyDeletemj - I know Garfer likes his grub - but surely he's not that fat.
Hope not'cos I've grown a bit fond of him.
Why thank you Margo. I like your outfit. Is that Dolce & Gabbana?
ReplyDelete*takes a sip of his drink*
MAXI: Remember that cold water causes shrinkage.
ReplyDeleteMS. DONG: You’re always welcome here Ms. Mu.
You should recruit Beast to be the spokesman for your penile enhancement product.
He’s tried them all!
Unfortunately, none of them have worked so far.
CYBERPOOF: Here’s an icepack for that shiner.
IVD’s been keeping a low profile since he walloped you, I notice.
JOE: Your wife has informed me that she’s starting her own blog.
Also, she’ll be interested to see a pic I have that shows what you’ve been up to lately.
Someone’s been a bad boy.
MAGO: No smoking by the pool.
However, a spittoon has been provided if you would like a chaw of tobacco.
KAZ: I’m all for Garfer piling on the pounds if it means his arse will get bigger.
However, this doesn’t appear to be the case, does it?
*asks Kaz to purchase more teacakes for Garfer*
CYBERPOOF: *waits to see Mago’s response to being called “Margo”*
For the pool, casually, yes. D&G is fun.
ReplyDeleteI mostly use BOSS, Dreiteiler. I prefer a slim line.
Hope your eye is not too badly hurt and you cooled it properly. The cutmen always use a cold peace of metal to press on the swollen part ... well, no pun intended.
You'll never ever see me spit in public. I officially stopped smoking years ago, so it's ... for later.
ReplyDelete"Margo" escaped me. Ein Versprecher?
Where you've been MJ, all too busy in the cabana?
MAGO: Mistress MJ busy entertaining Yakuza-Man.
ReplyDeleteMouth too full to talk.
ooopsie! Sorry, Mago.
ReplyDeleteNo need to be sorry. It wouldn't fit me I guess. Too dramatic.
ReplyDeleteHello Yakuza-Man, you're addicted to lovely MJ I guess. Lucky bastard.
I have to leave you alone for some hours, I'll come by later to have a look for the last man standing ...
CYBERPOOF: Just because you use the name "CyberPetra" doesn't mean all men like to be called girly names, you know.
ReplyDeleteMAGO: Will you be part of the clean-up crew on Monday?
It won't be pretty, I'll tell you that much.
Get back in cabana!
ReplyDeletesniff sniff.......not even an invite.......got new speedos too......
ReplyDeleteYay! I'm a lover of buck ass nekkid swimming! Swear I won't pee in the pool. Gimme a drink!!
ReplyDeleteCheers, all!
Order is restored, the aborigines are pacified.
ReplyDeleteShow your speedos Manuel, I am sure they are great.
Clean up crew - like in "getting rid of"? ... I'll be there. You have a "Fargo"-shredder?
Catscratch - Bourbon?
ReplyDeleteBTW MJ John Wayne's first name was "Marion" - even toughies may go by sweet names.
Manuel! You can come sulk with me, Honey. My swim routine was ruined and I've been hiding next to the keg all weekend.
ReplyDeleteBITCHES: If you think you latecomers are going to receive personal responses, you're sadly mistaken.
ReplyDeleteI'm busy trying to recruit help to clean up after the party.
Damn, I've apparently gained a lot of weight lately. TIME TO HIT THE GYM !
ReplyDelete