Saturday, August 02, 2008

Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service

“Yes sir, IVD is freeee!!!”

The staff of Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service (pictured above) is manning the phone lines, ready to match up client IVD with you, Infomaniac’s readers.

It’s no secret that fellow Blogger Inexplicable DeVice (IVD) is looking for a man.

He’s been feeling a bit mardy lately and pining after his old flame, a ginger shelf-stacker at the supermarket.

Let’s cheer IVD up by finding him a man, shall we?

Perhaps you share his taste in pop culture?...

If that hasn’t convinced you he’s Mr. Right, take a look at his remarkable physical qualities!...

Come on, people…there’s $60 a week in it for you!


  1. I'm first. Is that meaningful somehow?

  2. First of all ... I'm married ... would he be okay with that? More Importantly ... Do I really have to wait a week for my $60? I like to get laid ... oops ... paid right away.

  3. Well we know he bakes.

    Does he do laundry and the dishes too?

  4. I dont need the money , but I will do anything for a nice slice of cake (preferably a slice that hasn't been farted on but beggars cant be choosers) .
    I am intrigued by the 'Ginger Shelf Stacker ......Piggy ??? . surely wee piggy wouldn't be able to reach the shelves)

  5. Heh heh! Thank you MJ. I love John Inman's tie!

    Leah - First in, first out. At least you won't have to do any clearing up!

    PJoe - Married, schmarried.

    CyberPetra - I'm doing the laundry right now! Well, the machine is. The washing up can wait until later.

    Beast - You're beginning to sound like Worzel Gummidge.
    And you're right. Piggy most definitely wasn't the stacker!

  6. Ok, I'm convinced. If IDV bakes cakes, does the laundry and dishes AND pays me up to $60 a week.

    I'm totally in!

  7. $60 wouldn't even buy a decent 24 year old malt whisky.

    I'm not that cheap.

  8. Yay! IVD has come along early and responded to you all.

    Except for latecomers CyberPoof and Garfer.

    *waits for The Return of IVD*

  9. IVD is probably out trawling the local supermarkets for more ginger love gods

  10. BEAST: IVD's in the biscuit aisle fondling a packet of Ginger Nuts with a faraway look in his eye.

  11. Is that 60 American Dollars or Canadian Dollars?

    Unfortunately, I don't know any red headed men personally. And the shelf stackers I've seen are either pimply faced teenagers or not IDV's type--unless he likes middle aged, plus sized, sweaty, semi cleaned men or butch forklift driving lesbians...

  12. That's a very unflattering picture you are painting of shelf stackers Bingowings.

    And quite scary. Although it isn't that much better here.

  13. I'll have a go at the lad, if any one can cure him of being a bum bandit it me and my scummy cock.

    He really pays money? I might be in love.

  14. Hmmm, US$60 can get me 6 albums or 60 songs on iTunes. Is it all worth it?

    OK, I'm in.

    What's wrong butch, forklift driving lesbians? I DATED a butch, forklift driving lesbian and she was very sweet.

  15. EROS: Middle aged, plus sized, sweaty, semi cleaned men or butch forklift driving lesbians?

    He's not fussy.

    CYBERPOOF: I haven't been paying attention so can't comment on our shelf-stackers in Canada but there's a rather fetching tranny cashier at my local supermarket.

    KNUDSEN: I know you like the odd gurlyboy now and then so good news...

    IVD has a front bottom.

    He only pulls it out on special occasions though.

    MAIDY: Like IVD, you're not fussy.

  16. Gee, I have absolutely nothing for this post...

  17. Hmmm I think we need visuals MJ

  18. HEFF: If $60 seems too high, perhaps IVD is willing to negotiate.

    CYBERPOOF: Visuals of what, pray tell? The tranny cashier?

    Forget it. She'd wallop me with her handbag.

  19. Well you've gotta take one for the team.

    Come on, be a good sport. You can't just mention something like that and be done with it.

    We need to see visuals

  20. Right, if IDV gets a man from this advert, then I demand to be next!

  21. I think you'd have better luck pimping John Inman.

    And he's dead.

  22. 60 dollares are something around 35 Euro ... I may be cheap, but no hunny, that needs a little more fat I'd say ...

  23. CYBERPOOF: Scratch it off your wish list.

    T-BIRD: Looks like you might stand a chance.

    See Sunday’s posting.

    TIM: Don’t be cruel
    To a heart that’s true

    Are you jealous of the ginger?

    MAGO: Are you saying IVD needs a little more fat?

    Well you’d be right on that account.

  24. last one out

    just having a little closure

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