Monday, August 04, 2008

Who Wants A Cuddle?

I'm feeling positively uplifted today.

If you're not feeling as bouncy as me; if your swizzle has lost its fizzle; come closer.



Who wants a cuddle?
Posted by at

66 comments:

  1. Jenny10:40 PM, August 03, 2008

    First? First?

    FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jenny10:40 PM, August 03, 2008

    did you get my point?

    ReplyDelete
  3. angela11:21 PM, August 03, 2008

    I once believed the fastest way to a man's heart was through his chest with a knife but you have opened my eyes to new possibilities. Thankyou mj for helping me to 'think outside the box'.

    ReplyDelete
  4. BEAST1:18 AM, August 04, 2008

    You will have someones eye out with those

    ReplyDelete
  5. Inexplicable DeVice2:57 AM, August 04, 2008

    Come closer?

    I think not. Never mind having someone's eye out, you take someone's entire head off with those!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous3:09 AM, August 04, 2008

    I'm getting uplifted now.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unknown4:36 AM, August 04, 2008

    Holy crap! Those things are dangerous, could poke an eye out or something!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. KAZ5:49 AM, August 04, 2008

    Dangerous?
    naah - they's just go 'POP'.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Miss Smuggersham6:10 AM, August 04, 2008

    OW! My EYE!

    ReplyDelete
  10. garfer6:30 AM, August 04, 2008

    Inter continental ballistic missiles.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The Mistress6:30 AM, August 04, 2008

    BOXER: The point is that you need sedation.

    But a cuddle might do.

    ANGELA: I feel so very Zig Ziglar now.

    Send me your credit card details and I can arrange more words of inspiration.

    PIXMAKER: Put that thing away.

    You'll have somebody's eye out with it.

    THE REST OF YOU BITCHES EXCEPT KAZ WHO IS DRUNK: If you lose an eye, Infomaniac has a Braille edition.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The Mistress6:32 AM, August 04, 2008

    GARFY: Trust an Irishman to bring explosives into the scenario.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous7:25 AM, August 04, 2008

    It took me 2 minutes to notice she'd black hair.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Manuel9:09 AM, August 04, 2008

    you could put an eye out with those.....

    ReplyDelete
  15. CyberPete9:23 AM, August 04, 2008

    Madonna called.

    She wants her boobs back

    ReplyDelete
  16. Heff10:01 AM, August 04, 2008

    Keep that bitch away from water bras !

    ReplyDelete
  17. The Mistress11:56 AM, August 04, 2008

    BBB: How many fingers am I holding up?

    MANUEL: Cheeky bugger.

    CYBERPOOF: To celebrate Madonna’s upcoming 50th birthday, will you be wearing a conical bra?

    Or just a set of pasties?

    HEFF: Sounds like you know a thing or two about ladies’ undergarments.

    I bet you can unhook a woman’s bra with one hand.

    Or with your teeth.

    ReplyDelete
  18. CyberPete12:13 PM, August 04, 2008

    There isn't much to celebrate is there?

    I thought she was at least 60 though.

    My mistake.

    ReplyDelete
  19. LẌ12:27 PM, August 04, 2008

    Is she pointing to something in the sky?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Old Knudsen12:44 PM, August 04, 2008

    Eye out? fuck that it'll put yer balls out when you get a diddy wank.

    ReplyDelete
  21. MommyHeadache12:45 PM, August 04, 2008

    I kissed the screen but you took my eyes out. Those things hurt!

    ReplyDelete
  22. The Mistress12:45 PM, August 04, 2008

    CYBERPOOF: More like 70 judging by this pic.

    XL: The underwire in her bra is picking up signals from outer space.

    Using the same technology, she can exercise mind control over you.

    ReplyDelete
  23. BEAST12:46 PM, August 04, 2008

    I bet she has trouble sleeping on her front. Is that Jan Collins by the way ??

    ReplyDelete
  24. The Mistress12:48 PM, August 04, 2008

    KNUDSEN & EMMA: Are the pair of you in cahoots?

    You just came through my back door when my back was turned.

    KNUDSEN: T-Bird likes a good "titty wank" if you're interested and she won't put your eye out.

    EMMA: La Liz isn't dead yet and already you've stolen her image.

    ReplyDelete
  25. The Mistress12:49 PM, August 04, 2008

    BEAST: For fuck's sake, bitches, I can only type so fast. Now it's Beast putting in his two cents. Er, pence in his case.

    Who is Jan Collins? Someone on British telly?

    ReplyDelete
  26. BEAST1:14 PM, August 04, 2008

    I meant Joan Collins

    ReplyDelete
  27. BEAST1:15 PM, August 04, 2008

    type faster , you canadian slacker

    ReplyDelete
  28. BEAST1:20 PM, August 04, 2008

    Hurry up

    ReplyDelete
  29. BEAST1:20 PM, August 04, 2008

    ****drums fingers impatiently***

    ReplyDelete
  30. The Mistress1:24 PM, August 04, 2008

    BEAST: Shut the fuck up.

    I'm getting cramps and you know what THAT means.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anonymous1:24 PM, August 04, 2008

    Might I suggest a new bra from Lane Bryant. The torpedo look is so 1957.

    ReplyDelete
  32. The Mistress1:26 PM, August 04, 2008

    CATSCRATCH: Another one sneaks in through the back door.

    Oh cramps...it all makes sense now why you're all coming through my back door today.

    1957 was a good year for Chevys.

    ReplyDelete
  33. CyberPete1:28 PM, August 04, 2008

    I hope for her sake that's photoshopped.

    She couldn't possibly go on tour looking like that unless she's sitting in a wheel chair just looking out at the audience the entire time.

    She could do that, her fans would probably pay no matter.

    ReplyDelete
  34. FirstNations1:39 PM, August 04, 2008

    "Our breasts are our WEAPONS"

    Tracy Lords, 'Crybaby'

    ReplyDelete
  35. Anonymous1:59 PM, August 04, 2008

    Why are you so damn perky today? Actually, I do need a hug. I shall get my protective eye gear first...

    ReplyDelete
  36. The Mistress2:05 PM, August 04, 2008

    CYBERPOOF: Do they make turbo-charged wheelchairs?

    I'm waiting for Andy Williams to tour again.

    NATIONS: My tits are 'Licensed to Thrill'.

    How about yours?

    RANDOM: That was me a few hours ago before the cramps set in.

    I hate everyone now.

    You should have arrived earlier.

    You've missed your chance for a cuddle.

    That goes double for the rest of you.

    ReplyDelete
  37. CyberPete2:40 PM, August 04, 2008

    I wouldn't know but why not?

    Who is Andy Williams?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Peevish McSnark2:45 PM, August 04, 2008

    Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!

    ReplyDelete
  39. INNER VOICES2:48 PM, August 04, 2008

    *stares blankly as he remembers his old school babysitters, drools slightly*

    ReplyDelete
  40. Anonymous2:49 PM, August 04, 2008

    We'd like a cuddle. With us being nice, soft and fluffy it would be nice for you too.

    ReplyDelete
  41. The Mistress2:59 PM, August 04, 2008

    CYBERPOOF: Too old and too American for you to bother with.

    He's doing the Branson, Missouri lounge circuit now so that should be enough to put you off.

    PEEVISH: I run a tight ship, as you can see.

    VOICES: I'm getting a little sick of your various bodily fluids oozing all over my blog.

    PUPPY&HIPPO: Oooo I can't wait 'til you're finished your camomile teas!

    ReplyDelete
  42. INNER VOICES3:05 PM, August 04, 2008

    *wipes face, but shit eating grin remains*

    ReplyDelete
  43. The Mistress3:08 PM, August 04, 2008

    VOICES: That towel that you just used to clean your face?

    Old Knudsen wiped his knob with it.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Anonymous3:53 PM, August 04, 2008

    Sounds like you're ready for a cat fight. I've got some mean PMS myself so get ready to get your arse kicked!!!

    ReplyDelete
  45. INNER VOICES4:00 PM, August 04, 2008

    funny... i pulled it out of your top dresser drawer...

    *puts used towel back in drawer and runs off laughing wildly*

    ReplyDelete
  46. CyberPete4:01 PM, August 04, 2008

    Old and American?

    Are you sure we are not still talking about Madonna?

    ReplyDelete
  47. Anonymous4:22 PM, August 04, 2008

    This Ray Barrett is not that Ray Barrett.
    http://www.ray-barrett.com/exteriors_f1.html

    This pearl necklace is very tight. I think one should stick to the old rule and pearls (resembling tears) are only for widows. The bra is seemingly one of Hughes' less successful projects.

    Anyway, give my a cuddle, MJ! Come on!

    ReplyDelete
  48. The Mistress4:35 PM, August 04, 2008

    RANDOM: I blocked your kick with my hot water bottle. Ha!

    VOICES: What have I told you about upper and lower case letters and their use and abuse?

    Have you learned nothing at my bosom?

    CYBERPOOF: Andy’s 80.

    Madonna only looks 80.

    MAGO: The pearl necklace was a gift from Old Knudsen.

    You want a cuddle?

    Ahhh, come here ya big lug.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Anonymous4:47 PM, August 04, 2008

    YABBADABBAH DUUUHHH ... the following sounds are not reproducable within our system of letters ...












    Awww ...

    ReplyDelete
  50. INNER VOICES4:49 PM, August 04, 2008

    huh, yeah im not much for following orders... i is the way i is...


    thanks for the "pointers" anywayz...

    ReplyDelete
  51. The Mistress4:52 PM, August 04, 2008

    VOICES: Fine. If you can't follow orders I'm giving YOUR cuddle to...

    MAGO!

    Get ready for round two, Mago.

    ReplyDelete
  52. INNER VOICES4:58 PM, August 04, 2008

    whew...
    didnt want to get any cramps on me anywayz... they sound awful.


    *shivers at thought of getting cramps on him*

    ReplyDelete
  53. INNER VOICES5:03 PM, August 04, 2008

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  54. INNER VOICES5:04 PM, August 04, 2008

    ......and why are you working when you should be blog commenting.... hahahahahaa, oh right C A P I T A L letters... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.....

    ReplyDelete
  55. CyberPete5:10 PM, August 04, 2008

    Good point!

    I'm sure he doesn't have bingowings and looks better than her in a leotard.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Anonymous5:22 PM, August 04, 2008

    HUNNY ... I am READY!


    Yay ....


    That could go ON AND ON ...










    ... quieeekk ...








    Jausa. Gimme a fag ...

    ReplyDelete
  57. The Mistress5:38 PM, August 04, 2008

    VOICES: I'm not working. It's a civic holiday.

    I'm at home moaning and writhing in pain.

    Occasionally I'm forced to reply here to the likes of you and dole out cuddles to those (like MAGO) who deserve it.

    CYBERPOOF: I can't really picture The King of Easy Listening in a leotard.

    MAGO: You want a cuddle or a fag?

    Both are plentiful here at Infomaniac.

    ReplyDelete
  58. BEAST5:48 PM, August 04, 2008

    Beasty is
    A GREAT BIG CUDDLE MONSTER

    come and get it while its hot y'all


    ps I am wearing ladies panties :-)

    ReplyDelete
  59. Anonymous5:49 PM, August 04, 2008

    Hach, "feel good" (James Brown). Sorry I forgot, used "fag" as the British WWI word for cigarette.

    As for madonna - come on, she's tired and worn on this picture. WOnder whether she had some teeth pulled for these "Bäckchen", this high cheek bone look. Read somewhere that this really was done. Think it is possible when you look at what Chinese and Russian women do to meet "beauty-ideals". But MJs are pure nature, I guess? Positively uplifting in any case ...

    ReplyDelete
  60. The Mistress5:56 PM, August 04, 2008

    BEAST: Oh my!

    They're crotchless!

    MAGO: I believe they're cheek implants gone wrong.

    Mistress MJ is all natural. Obviously you were not paying attention during our cuddle.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Anonymous6:11 PM, August 04, 2008

    Maybe i was a little "abgelengt" ... distracted ... one should always focus on the main subject ... did not grab it really at first ... it goes up and down und um und um by applying the right pressure ... yes I should concentrate more on your satisfaction, selfish me.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Anonymous8:03 PM, August 04, 2008

    ?
    Hubba bubba?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAiIyDXP4us

    ReplyDelete
  63. The Mistress9:11 PM, August 04, 2008

    MAGO: Hubba Hubba!

    You see now why she encourages cuddling?

    She's chilly!

    ReplyDelete
  64. Anonymous9:46 PM, August 04, 2008

    At the beginning is a wonderful two-second-sequence when she puts her hands to her hips and moves - I have no working speakers here, can't here here - casual is thew word, en passant, "chilly" the dictionary gives as "kühl" - she's in command. cool calm collected. Is that what you meant?

    What I like most is the "Unausgesprochenheit", adumbration - what a nice word mentioning the shadow ... ach, eros is not graphical. "L'origine du monde" better be hidden, a very interesting case. Sorry I am very tired now.
    Dita v. T. should be on your line, but I never saw her act or perform, just stills. There are interesting women of the art.

    ReplyDelete
  65. eroswings2:50 AM, August 05, 2008

    Okay, now that's just sending out mixed signals. The smile says 'come here' but the porcu-boobs scream 'stay away!'.

    ReplyDelete
  66. The Mistress9:52 AM, August 05, 2008

    MAGO: Chilly = kalt.

    So few clothes to cover her body.

    EROS: Come hither.

    I know you want a cuddle.

    ReplyDelete

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