Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Bicycle Thief

Mistress MJ was recently surprised to see a familiar face making international headlines.

Yes, this is the man who used to repair Mistress MJ’s bicycle.

Cleans up good for court

Have you ever opened the paper or turned on telly to find someone you know in the news for something unlawful?


  1. Now, when you say repaired your bicycle, you mean he took yours out for a joy ride?

    My old boss was busted for trafficking drugs!

    Everyone asked me if he acted strange. I just said, dude was always acting strange, so I couldn't tell the difference!

  2. Let's hope he's found innocent...because looking good might be bad thing in prison...after the other prisoners ride him like a bike in a BMX Olympics event, he'll need someone to repair his seat!

  3. I suppose he wasn't arrested stoned out of his mind?


  4. The older you get the more names you recognize in the Obituaries. That's right ... you start reading them after you turn 50.

  5. get out!!!! Yes..I worked with a hospital transporter who got arrested and charged with sucking off a male patient while he was still coming out of being put under! I KNOW!!!

  6. An important member of the community AND my ex-boyfriend's father was arrested for engaging in sexual activities with an under age boy in a company vehicle. He was arrested when he got out of the car and urinated in public. It made the front page.

    I see Eroswings is back.

  7. Nope.
    You are the only famous person that I know who is doing something unlawful, especially on Filthy Fridays.

    He looks like a Krenkhead.

  8. He had a bike kink .. very strange.

    My ex went nutty one day, killed some passersby and an(other) ex, and went on the run (in my direction). i was living with my parents at the time, and they kept me away from the tv somehow, and i didn't find out until a friend called and asked .. isn't that X on the news? He killed 4 people that day, but was caught quite quickly, thankfully.

  9. I wasn't aware that Ringo Star was a bicycle repair man. He should stick to mending yellow submarines.

  10. it usually happens the other way around for me...i open the paper and find that a pedophile is given a job or an award somewhere...one got promoted to fire chief in the town i work (he wasn't convicted of anything in court)...another was a volunteer at a YMCA (prior to the registration and he wasn't on the list)...funny but both articles mentioned how good they both were with children...DUH~~~

  11. mj on a bike??

    Did he steal the 'bronze sculpture of a centaur and a snake in battle' from you as well?.

  12. not yet but we both know it's coming.....and i don't mean knudsen

  13. The other 'arf jacked her job in once because her boss was a nasty bitch. A week later, her boss was the victim of a car jacking and a thorough slap by the jackers.
    What goes around...

  14. PS - the story appeared on the local news channel. She was not a pretty sight.

  15. EROS: I used to ride my bike from the west end of Toronto (High Park) to the east end (The Beach) and back on a regular basis.

    If you know Toronto, you know that's a lot of wear and tear and consequently, trips to the bike repair shop.

    So no, no joy rides. Only repairs.

    CYBERPOOF: He must have been stoned as he's wearing IVD's orange shirt.

    JOE: The Obits were the first section my Gran turned to when the paper arrived.

    ROBYN: Come again?

    BOXER: Did they also charge him with pulic urination?

    He should have used the Roadbag!

  16. DONN: Having just seen the swimsuit edition of your buttocks, you could be arrested for an “Ass Like That”.

    CARNALIS: *cues “Psycho Killer” by Talking Heads*

    GARFY: Or fixing a hole where the rain gets in.

    DAISY: Pillars of the community often crumble.

    KAZ: MJ on a bike?

    Only when limo service isn't available.

    My friends will laugh as they tell you how I’ve showed up to nights on the town on a bicycle, in fancy dress and high heels.

    MANUEL: Is a waiter about to go postal?

    ISTVANSKI: I don’t think they let you comb your hair and pretty yourself up first before they take your mugshot.

    That fact alone is enough to keep me on the straight and narrow.

  17. A high school teacher of mine was arrested for apparently messing about with a boy in my year and his brother in the year above.
    I don't know the outcome of the charge because I didn't want to - And I still don't.

  18. I forget to mention, he was the principal.

  19. My cousin got arrested for having a Meth lab in her garage...

  20. A friend of mines dad was arrested for having a trunk full of forged five pound notes

  21. "i like to ride my bicycle, i like to ride my bike.. BICYCLE!! BICYCLE!!!"

  22. where there's a bicycle , there is a saddle to sniff

  23. What's up with the chicken on his t-shirt?

  24. I have posted a picture of MJ's bike
    ****not for the easily frightened***

  25. IVD: As CyberPoof said, “Eeeeeps IDV!”

    But unlike CyberPoof, I don’t sound like a little girl when I say it.


    BOXER: There seems to be an abuse of position theme here, i.e. school teachers, principals.

    No surprise though, is it?

    RANDOM: Up here in Canada we’re classier and rent mansions for our meth labs.

    TONY: He looks like Nick Nolte?

    You’re right. He does!

  26. BEAST: What’s that in real Canadian money?

    VOICES: Bicycle races are coming your way
    So forget all your duties oh yeah!
    Fat bottomed girls theyll be riding today
    So look out for those beauties oh yeah

    BEAST: I wondered which one of you pervs would be the first to point out the bicycle seat sniffing angle.


    XL: Chicken?

    Me thinks it’s a cock!

    BEAST: Oh for fuck’s sake, you know that it’s 10:30 a.m. here and I’m at work and can’t visit to see what mischief you’ve got up to.

    In fact, this is a rare moment to myself without prying eyes and it may not come again for the rest of they day…which is hours away. So if I disappear, don’t worry. Not that you would, that’s for sure.

    You just wait ‘til I get home, young man!!!

  27. p.s. Don't any of you go to Beast's place to see whatever it is he's done with my bike.

    Whatever it is, it's lies!

  28. I invented the bicycle.

  29. You Go!
    Al Gore puts Edison to shame what with having invented the Interwebs, Polio Vaccine, Fire, the Wheel, Democracy, Condoms, Flute, Sonar, Bricks, Stapler, IKEA, 3 chord Rock, AND of course the Bicycyle.


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  31. I've woke up to find someone I know in the obituary.

  32. I don't go into public. Ever. I can claim to know absolutely nobody.

  33. Have you ever opened the paper or turned on telly to find someone you know in the news for something unlawful?

    Oh yes. True story: A few years ago a man walked up to me in the street and started to argue about politics.

    This was just after Iraq was invaded, and his spiel was the usual whackjobbery - Arabs hate us because they're nazi satanists, we should drop H-bombs on them to civilise them, elite liberal conspiracy blah blah blah.

    I told him to piss off, and he spent the next ten minutes running around pointing at me, yelling to everyone that's he'd won the argument.

    Two days I opened the local newspaper to see...a familiar face. He'd been served with a raft of cease-and-desist court orders after making his neighbour's life hell for six years.

    If he used abusive language, shouted or started an argument anywhere near the home of the woman next door...he'd be carted off to jail.

    There was a follow-up story a month or so later. He'd been refused parole.

  34. My Latin-teacher was a kind of ... he enbodied all the values as seen in officium, potestas, so gaining auctoritas - mens sana and all this ...
    Learned later that he had it with a girl of the last classes on a class-trip to Rome. They sent him into the woods for some years.
    His son was baptized Julius Ceasar, really.

  35. My lesbian Aunt who was suing a pub owner because he asked her and her lover to stop going at each other while sitting at the bar, on a Sunday with families all around.

    She was claiming discrimination, but trust me, he was performing a well needed public service.

    She was fifty six at the time and her life partner could kick seven shades of shit out of Chuck Norris without her strap on breaking sweat.

    That was also my girlfriends' first intro to any of my family.

  36. Never mind the chicken on his shirt... what's with the headlamp hanging around his neck??? Wonder what you would use that for in lock-up?

    Never seen anyone I know in the paper/on the telly arrested for anything unlawful (except my youngest brother for stealing a bike when he was 11 but he didn't make the news), but just found out a guy who was a year ahead of me in school was one of the volleyball refs at the Olympics. Nothing illegal there, but pretty cool!

  37. AL GORE: Shouldn’t you be in Colorado?

    DONNNN: All that is meaningless if he can’t lay a claim to inventing the Butter Stick.

    RICH: Ouch.

    CATSCRATCH: Oh how I envy you.

    KAPI: Instead of telling the conspiracy theorists to fuck off, I point over their shoulders telling them I see an alien spacecraft or life form approaching.

    Usually scares the bejaysus out of them and they leave.

    MAGO: VENI, vidi, vici.

    With emphasis on the Veni.

    MAXI: Buncha dirty hellions.

    PONYGIRL: Headlamp?

    It’s so dark in that shop as it’s crammed full of bikes that he needs it to see his way from one end to the other.

  38. He'll be the most popular man in the prison when the other villains find out that he was once responsible for sniffing your bicycle seat on a regular basis.

    I should imagine that people will flock to his bunk just to hear him describe the various aroma's ingested from the cracked leather seat of your old bike.
    It will be the equivalent in popularity as was the second coming back in the day.

    He will be known as 'The Chosen One'. The man who inhaled the other holy virgin. I'm surprised he hasn't started hallucinating and speaking in tongues after the experiences with your seat.

  39. OMG.... I would die if I saw someone I knew in the news or a "wanted' criminal!