Saturday, July 19, 2008

Kinky Bitch Barbie

Finally, a Barbie I can identify with …


Black Canary Barbie



Ken! Where’s my dinner, dammit?

38 comments:

  1. All of a sudden, wanna go and play with MJ... I mean Barbie....

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  2. Yay first!!!

    *looks at Barbie*

    Now why can't I find a woman like that???

    *imagines Stacy Keibler in leather and fishnet stockings*

    :drool:

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  3. DAMMIT!!!!

    Fine - second and third.

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  4. nice! im glad we seem to be on "the some page".... i wonder why ive been posting about rubber dolls this week. wait, why are you now posting about rubber dolls... hmmmm.....





    and yer ken doll slave has quite the forearms....

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  5. More like 'lucky legs' Barbie.
    LUCKY THEY DONT FECKING SNAP
    She needs a bit o' meat on her bones
    and ken in his pinny ....what a poof.
    I would have the uppity baggage down on that floor scrubbin til it gleamed(then I might make her a bit of dinner :-) ) or she would be out that door quicker than her little stick legs could take her

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  6. The boots in that second picture are awesome.

    She is a little pale though and with all that black it makes her look more like goth barbie than kinky bitch barbie

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  7. If she'd had black curly hair it would have been Cher barbie

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  8. Beanpole Barbie!

    Maybe there's a Peter Crouch doll she can go out with.

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  9. Does she [ahem] come with accessories?

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  10. NWT: To go play up north with you, she’d have to be Eskimo Barbie.

    MAIDY: Ha! NWT got on top of you.

    VOICES: I’m sure it was Real Dolls you had on your mind.

    I’m concerned about your admiring Ken’s manly forearms.

    They’re detachable if you’d like to borrow them.

    BEAST: “I would have the uppity baggage down on that floor scrubbin til it gleamed”…

    Oh really?

    In other words, just like YOU, toiling as a galley slave under head chef Mr. C?

    As Mr. C majestically sweeps out , with a dismissive “clean this place up Beast , its a mess”, leaving you with the washing up ,kitchen clean down , more washing up , floor mopping , even more washing up?

    Did your arms recover yet?

    Perhaps it’s YOU who needs Ken’s detachable arm.

    *wrests Ken’s manly arms away from INNER VOICES*

    CYBERPOOF: Yes, put a little Bob Mackie on her and you’ve got Cher Barbie.

    GEOFF: I can picture them doing the Robot Dance together.

    ISTVANSKI: Does she come with accessories?

    What, like a Rickenbacker bass?

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  11. The likeness of the Cher barbie is quite good actually.

    Although it must be from after she had her fourth facelift.

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  12. I'd "Canary Cry — a high powered, sonic scream with the ability to shatter objects and incapacitate villains" - too, with black patent leather chafing my inner thighs and smushing my minky.

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  13. CYBERPOOF: Any more face lifts and Cher will have a beard.

    IVD: Minky?

    Is that what you're calling your front bottom now?

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  14. It looks more like Transvestite Bobbie and Cross Dressing Ken--complete with a black hanky on the right arm and a spankerchief in the left hand!

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  15. Barbie Stanzoni. Ken knows his place after all ...

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  16. EROS: After drooling over the picture, I'm sure your spankerchief has turned into a spunkerchief.

    MAGO: While Ken's busy on his hands and knees, you can polish my boots.

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  17. I thought IDV would have a dinky, not a minky

    Obviously I was very much mistaking.

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  18. Does she come with whips, chains and red hot needles?

    Oops, spelling mistake. Does she cum with....

    Anyway (fave word). Barbies of the future:

    * Repressed Schoolmarm Barbie

    * Tired Old Ho Barbie

    * Republican Senator Barbie

    * Still An Embryo Barbie

    * Chinese Barbie

    * Eskimo Barbie

    * Lolo Ferrari Barbie

    * Siamese Twin Barbies

    * Chocolate Sandwich Barbie (With Ken 'n' Friend)

    * Car Crash Erotic Suicide Barbie

    * Infomaniac Barbie

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  19. MJ , I can only excuse the Cafe C situation as... that was my job role for the evening . I accepted the pay and conditions for a kitchen bitch shift.
    Now depending what terms Anorexic Barbie is offering(an offer of minimum wage may result in foul language and abusive behaviour) , I am sure we can come to some arrangements

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  20. CYBERPOOF: It’s a dinky minky.

    KAPI: Your fave word “anyway” is already copyrighted by Piggy.

    A most impressive list!

    And now, dear Kapi, I’ve found you a date!

    BEAST: You can take over (temporarily) as my kitchen bitch.

    You can start by mixing me a martini, then prepare my dinner (a lacey pinny is provided), then the washing up (rubber gloves provided), defrosting the fridge, scrubbing behind the stove, and shopping and restocking the pantry, followed by an obligatory ten minute coffee break.

    Don’t stand there with your mouth open. Get to work!

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  21. I'd like to see the Lolo Ferrari barbie

    They need a bigger box for her

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  22. I think she looks like Shania Twain.

    I'm still waiting for a pre menopausal Barbie I can identify with. Low Breasts Barbie?

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  23. I want to see the introduction of 'Baglady Barbie'.

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  24. No money No scrubbing Miss MJ

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  25. [Whew! Safely past NSFW Friday!]

    Barbie: Just a little bit off expectations.

    Ken: Not so much.

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  26. CYBERPOOF: IVD should be able to provide a big box.

    BETTY: Comes with a purse-sized travel fan for those hot flashes.

    And a twin sister, Bifocal Barbie.

    ISTVANSKI: Baglady Barbie will need a miniature shopping cart.

    BEAST: Is there still tuppence in England?

    *tosses coin into Beast's money slot*

    XL: While you're here, it wouldn't kill you to pick up a feather duster.

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  27. I'm not sure he'd let Lolo Ferrari into his box though

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  28. I just assumed you'd have printed your business cards w/ photos of your pussy. I just assumed.

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  30. MJ: I called round Ken's place to pick him up for the prom date. But a blond guy called Troy answered the door.

    Nice fellow - got lots of brothers. Well, he says they're his brothers.

    It's good to know Ken swings both ways. I'd thought he didn't have what it takes to swing at all.

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  31. I'll happily prepare your boots, MIstress MJ, shiny, deep-black and read to stomp on anything south of the border. Lemme give the stiletto heel just a little sharpening.
    Small things, nuances create sophistication, ach ...

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  32. CYBERPOOF: IVD would let Tim into his box.

    MATT: When you assume, you make an "ass" of "u" and "me".

    KAPI: I didn't think Ken had what it takes to swing either way as his groin appears to be a solid piece of smooth, molded plastic.

    MAGO: Unlike that good-for-nothing, money-grubbing greedy Beast, you have succeeded in pleasing Mistress MJ.

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  33. That's not Ken - that's GI Joe! Hence the muscular forearms and well developed deltoids. He's cute in lace and frills though.... I like a man with muscular arms and shoulders....

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  34. PONYGIRL: After one too many martinis, I failed to notice that's GI Joe, not Ken.

    No wonder my dinner's not on the table!

    T-BIRD: Surely not black canary Beaky?

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  35. I don't think GI Joe is much good in the kitchen... unless you're looking for army rations! Or a little hanky panky on the kitchen table.... ;-) Nice that he likes to show off those muscles, though! I'm a sucker for bare arms and shoulders...

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  36. Oh yah, Babe. I'm all about that scenario.

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  37. Poor Ken. That motherFucker has been Bitch-Slapped more than Carson Kressley !

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