Sunday, July 27, 2008

Cake Farts

Earlier this week, Inexplicable DeVice (IVD) put on his frilly pinny and baked a lovely Victoria Sponge Cake.

Or as Frobi said, “It's a Victoria Sponge - named after Queen Victoria - it was her favourite. Still loved by Queens in the 21st Century!”

IVD’s yummy Victoria Sponge Cake

While IVD was sound asleep in his eight-foot long bed, Mistress MJ snuck into the kitchen where the cake was cooling on the counter.

She lifted her frock, exposing her comely knickerless bottom, and deftly sat on the Victoria Sponge Cake.

IVD recoiled in horror when he found out what happened and his guests refused to eat a single slice.

On my behalf, I would like to say it COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.


  1. i was going to make a lemon drizzle cake today, but am strangely off-put.

    I suspect her diet is not healthy.

  2. Well I never.
    Thats the stupidest bit of porn I ever saw.
    It does however explain the aftertaste and squashed appearance of Frobishers Dorset Apple Cake

  3. What the hell is that about?

    People find that sexy?

    Really. That's just plain weird and quite disturbing.

  4. was the cake still warm when you squatted?

  5. CECILE: The proper response is, “Yay! I’m first!”

    CARNALIS: There’s such a thing as too much fibre.

    BEAST: I take it it’s off the menu now at Café C?

    Especially since you’re serving fish tacos now, I’ve noticed.

    CYBERPOOF: *checks to see if it’s a Danish production*

    DAISY: Still cooling on the kitchen counter.


    We are too prudish to do horrid things to cake.

    I saw it mentioned on the Graham Norton show once, so I suppose it could be a UK thing though.

    You may have more luck there.

  7. Urrrrgh! That was disgusting! I couldn't even watch the whole thing. Blech!

    I think I'm gonna barf...

  8. CYBERPOOF: I suspect you're right about the Brits.

    For example, have you visited Beast's blog today?

    IVD: It's your own fault for leaving the cake out overnight.

    You bring these things upon yourself, you know.

  9. No I haven't, but I am now!

    Be right back!

  10. Ok, that was disgusting. I can't say if Beasts was worse than yours though.

    At least Beast was nice enough not to publish video.

    *Shudders* Not a good day in the blogging world today. Not good at all.

  11. I guess I should be thankful that it wasn't the... Creature from Beast's in your spewgusting video, MJ?

  12. CYBERPOOF & IVD: Beast disgusts me.

    I've had to resign from his Book Club.

  13. Your stuff is worse than whatever Beasty can come up with dear.

    It's a wonder any of us are still coming 'round.

  14. Instead of over-reacting, IVD should have simply re-named the recipe "Victoria's Secret."


    it is a brown voice.
    it is a cakey voice.
    it says brown, cakey things.

    why did the cakefart lady have to take her hair down first before she plopped her flubbabutt down on the cake, though? that part mystifies me.
    and as far as ms. cakey goes, thats the only 'part' with any mystery left, sadly.

    i wonder if anyone has mentioned the hemmerhoid to her yet?

    well done, little single malt!

  16. CYBERPOOF: Beast claims that he’s going for the Worlds Filthiest Blogger Award.

    I accept the challenge.

    *flips flaps at Beast*

    XL: IVD “overreacting”…

    *likes XL even more than ever*

    NATIONS: The icing is made from Preparation H® Cream.

  17. You should be deported to the colonies for such an outrage.

    Hang on, you already live in one.

  18. many times did you watch that video before it became stupid for you...just curious :)

  19. Why can't she just eat the cake and throw it up like the other girls with bulimia?

  20. Don't wave around your flip flaps MJ, they are nothing to be proud of.

  21. GARFY: Hail Britannia.

    *bites Garfer's cake-free arse*

    DAISY: Well, Beast?

    EROS: I suspect there's a round of binge farting before that sets in.

    CYBERPOOF: Shut up or your Gayer Cake gets it next.

  22. I didnt watch all of it......what a waste of good cake :-(

  23. Just be careful they don't get tangled up in something.

  24. You shouldn't have mentioned Beast's blog.
    The two together have driven me to drink.

    *Goes to google and searches for nice knitting blog*.

  25. * gasps in almost-hysterical shock at "overreacting" accusations *

    I most certainly do not overreact!

    * fans self copiously while reaching for the gin in an attempt to stave off a fainting fit *

  26. *hands idv a nicely splashed gin, curtsy's and smiles menacingly*

  27. That woman should shut her bleedin' cakehole.

  28. BEAST: I bet you’ve got it on a loop.

    CYBERPOOF: Tangled in the loop Beast has it recorded on, perhaps.

    KAZ: A knitting blog?

    Careful what you wish for.

    IVD: Drama queen.

    DAISY: What mischief are you up to?

    GEOFF: I’m hiring you to write my headlines.

    T-BIRD: No barfing on my blog.

    Go to IVD’s if you’re going to be sick.

  29. ha ha ha I enjoyed that! ?

    my Dorset Apple Cake wouldn't have given in so easily

  30. Well...of course you did! I would except nothing less from the likes of you! Hurry and give me a slice...regardless of you sitting your naked ass on that great looking cake! I want a SLICE!

  31. So was the white stuff on the top of the cake deposited by your knickerless arse?

    Hmm. Arse-dust.


    And I doubt there's anything comely about it.

  32. sweet lil innocent me? muahhhh

  33. FROBI: Let me test-drive your Dorset Apple Cake before you serve it up at Café C.

    ROBYN: Didn’t you mean to say that piece of cake sitting on my great looking naked ass?

    PIGGY: That’s IVD’s “fairy dust”.

    DAISY: Uh oh. The evil laff.

  34. Did the cake get eaten in the end?