Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Crafty Bitches


Beast compensates with big knitting needles

The response from you crafty bitches to knit up a storm was overwhelming.

Take a look at some of the many handknit items I’ve received since opening The Infomaniac Knitting Blog.

Who's the joker who knitted this for me?...




I’ve received breast pillows from a number of you…




The homosexualists amongst you hopped on the knitting bandwagon with rainbow hotpants…




Here’s IVD with his knitted reservoir tip hat…




But what could be happening off camera? I wonder if IVD’s wearing these for his client’s easy access?...




Which one of you is the big tool?...




Here’s a submission from a blogger who doesn't want to be named but the alabaster skin suggests that it’s IVD again……




This one has Anonymous Boxer’s name all over it…




This macramé willy reeks of hippie crafts. Must have come from Inner Voices in California…




Holy Ina Mae Gaskin! First Nations flipped over the cabbage leaf covering her garden toilet planter and found this…



That explains why she suddenly started lactating this week.


Garfer, surely this isn’t your drinking jumper?...





Okay, who’s responsible for THIS?...




Right. I’m full up to here with your craftiness and I think it’s time we shut down The Infomaniac Knitting Blog and returned to being Infomaniac again.

Therefore, I suggest we send all our knitted goods to the birthday boy in the posting below.

32 comments:

  1. yah first bitches!!!!!!






    SOOOO....... you had yer kids at home then....

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  2. That second pic looks like Beast is trying to break into the Mideast burka market! or he's looking to start a new line called glory hole chic.

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  3. That looks suspiciously like Frobishers cat Mr Stinks !

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  4. I want to keep my knitted boxing gloves, sorry Tony.

    MINE!

    But Happy B-day anyhoo, xoxox.

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  5. I thought the nitting blog was about head lice so I went out and got some. damn you for my itchy scalp!!!!

    to be honest they crawled up from me balls.

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  6. That macramé willy warmer would come in useful if you lived in the Yukon.

    My drinking jumper is a bit more stained and frayed than that, but the principle's the same.

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  7. mj - How did you apply your lipstick so perfectly when you couldn't see through the balaclava?
    We are waiting for your beauty tips.

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  8. I just can't get past the cat in the crochet bikini...

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  9. Macramee is just godawful! Makes me shiver ... macramee-owls with flokati rugs, and cheap red, inagaddadavida ...
    Happy birthday Tony.

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  10. I can't get over wondering if those woollen pants have cotton gussets or not. Not very fresh or comfortable, particularly at this time of year.

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  11. VOICES: Look what you’ve done.

    You’ve scared off XL with your manic firstness.

    EROS: Gloryhole hood?

    You do realize it was meant as a gift for ME, don’t you?

    I thought someone just thought I was homely and wanted to put a bag over my head.

    Do you really think Beast is responsible for knitting it?

    I’m sure there’s been some mistake.

    BEAST: That bikini looks suspiciously like Mr. Frobisher's.

    BOXER: Took you long enough to get here.

    Fourth. Pffft.

    KNUDSEN: Your gurlyboys took up knitting, did they, and left you scratching your head?

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  12. GARFY: Do you have to beat off the women when you go down to the pub?

    KAZ: My beauty secrets will be revealed in a future posting.

    Oh what the hell, here’s one.

    To keep your lip colour from smearing whilst giving a blowjob, fill in your lips with lip liner instead of lipstick.

    T-BIRD: I’m going to have to put my blog in quarantine as you’ve been getting a case of the vapors all week here.

    MAGO: The macramé is Inner Voices fault.

    He was told to knit but as usual he went his own merry way.

    Voices is a knotty boy.

    BETTY: Wait ‘til Kate Moss wears them at Glastonbury.

    Everyone will want woolen pants.

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  13. thank god the knitting is over...i was having flash backs...and not good ones....

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  14. Well all this has left me with a brain fever for some x-rated amigurumi...

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  15. "Yay! 15th!"

    I am concerned that the kitty may have used one of her lives dying of embarrassment.

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  16. DAISY: Easy on the brown acid.

    LEAH: Amigurumi?

    You're a Little Miss Pervy Pants, aren't you?

    XL: 15th?

    You've lost your mojo.

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  17. CATSCRATCH: Okay, we hear you.

    YOU LOVE THE PANTIES!!!!!

    Keep your panties on.

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  18. I'm pretty ashamed about the 4th place too.

    **sobs** and tries to use actually use the knitted boxing gloves.. hurts hand.

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  19. i guess its better than "going on my mary way"...

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  20. Wow, there are some talented tools, ummm...I mean knitters on this here blog. I gotta get me one of those boobie pillows to go with my knitted uterus. Now all I need is a knitted bush.

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  21. BOXER: I'll have to knit you a new pair of fists.

    VOICES: That's right, Nancy.

    RANDOM: Did you see the blueish purplish bush on yesterdays' posting?

    It's yours if Beast or Matt will give up theirs.

    It'll take a lot of Woolite to launder it though after those two are through with it.

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  22. I'll take some breast pillows in Double D, Please....

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  23. HEFF: Do you have a gigantic Elephant-Man-sized head?

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  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  25. It's ok, MJ. A nice piece of chocolate cake should fix everything.

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  26. *sneaks into comment room, rips a big fart and runs away laughting hystericaly*

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  27. MYTOES: The pumpkin probably took the usual nine months.

    T-BIRD: Cake?

    You're a glutton for punishment.

    VOICES: I'll NEVER get the stench out of this blog at this rate!

    *sprays room deodorizer liberally*

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  28. OMG I have an itch that I wont talk about in polite society...so since I am here not there....will someone let me borrow their pencil so I can give the nads a good hard scratchin?

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  29. I have just found me needles!! I shall be knitting a life size replica of the Eiffel tower....

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  30. That pumpkin child is terrifying.

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  31. HONK: Can't you just reach in and give them a good scratch?

    MUTLEY: This is not Las Vegas, you know.

    We don't need to Disnefy our knitting projects.

    DINAH: Looking at the kid is a good method of birth control.

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