Infomaniac is on vacation until July 9th.
Be that as it may, I’m going nowhere since I spent my travel budget on shoes. Needless to say, I don’t shop for shoes at Payless.
Mostly, I’ll be lazing about in the sun, imbibing fruity cocktails and thumbing my nose at the peons. All the while wearing fabulous shoes.
I’ll be taking a wee bit of a blogging break but don’t miss my special CANADA DAY POSTING on Tuesday, July 1st!
And if that’s not enough dedication to Infomaniac’s beloved readers, I offer you…
POSTCARDS FROM A BROAD
That’s right, you lucky bitches.
If you email me your mailing address (my email address is in my Blogger Profile) Infomaniac will send you a holiday postcard!
My secretary is standing by with his pen poised to jot down your contact information…
Ta ta for now, bitches, and enjoy my blogging break.
Note: There's a Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service update beneath this post.
While I applaud the shoe budget, I'm worried you're NOT staying in your Country but have somehow managed to join Old K in his new RV.
ReplyDeleteIs that it?
Bitch.
Oh, and yes, I want a postcard!!
BOXER: Old K's new RV?
ReplyDeleteThe one with the bumper sticker that says, ""If the van is a rockin
old Knudzen haz hiz cock in."?
Maybe I'll pop down to Seattle for a day or two.
Sounds the the best kind of holiday. Have several dozen cocktails for me!
ReplyDeleteI'd like a card, please. Do you still have my address?
You better send me a card .
ReplyDeleteAnd bring me back presents
Lazy cow
Harumph
IVD: Yes, I still have your address but please resend your credit card details.
ReplyDeleteBEAST: Pressies from where?
My back yard?
Or shall I just magically pull a gift out of my arse?
Enjoy your time off! Don't forget your sunscreen--you don't have Brandine's wardrobe to complement that sunburnt tomato skin color! Will there be Canada geese or Canadian beavers in the Canada Day posting?
ReplyDeleteEROS: There'll be beavers a plenty.
ReplyDeleteI am desperate for a shag...any suggestions?
ReplyDeleteYou need to show us those shoes dear.
ReplyDeleteConsider them your holidays snaps.
Can I have a moose and a black bear please? You can send 'em air mail, it won't cost much.
ReplyDeleteDon't be sending me any of that rubbish Canuck beer though.
MJ: The pool is free if you'd like to spend some time here then you wouldn't have to send me a post card, But I would like one and a post card lol
ReplyDeleteWell, after your holidays are over, I'd definitely like a post dedicated to your new shoes!
ReplyDeleteI love shoes. And bags. Mostly shoes.
Have a lovely blogging break - we'll see what havock we can cause here in your comment thread. Think we can surpass 200 inane comments?
I demand a postcard...and in return, I will find some titty picture postcard to send back to you.
ReplyDeleteMy prize arrived in the mail, and I plan on doing a post to celebrate a real hommo touch to decorating.
Lucky you! I need a holiday.
ReplyDeletePlease send me a nekkid holiday post card.
My postman will either get a hardon or have a heart attack.
Gracias.
MUTLEY: You can see if Brandine is still up for it after she’s finished with whoever is under her now.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, you’ll have to wait for our next client to come along.
AND hope it’s a woman!
CYBERPOOF: Mistress MJ does not approve of make-work-projects on her hols.
GARFY: Rubbish Canuck beer is still not as rubbish as rubbish American beer.
You’d be pleasantly surprised by the quality of beer at some of our microbreweries.
Would you like some beaver along with your other wildlife?
TATAS: I read in your comments where you got topless yesterday in your pool.
I don’t need to see your flotation devices, thank you very much.
T-BIRD: I may be on vacation but I’m not going away so I have the power of hitting the “delete comment” button.
DORA: Quit being such a demanding bitch.
That’s my job.
Postage to you is the most expensive of all of you so you should be especially grateful if I do send a postcard to you.
DIVA: Naked postcard?
You’ll get whatever poxy postcard is lying about in the bottom of my credenza.
BITCHES: Several of you have already emailed me or commented here that you’d like a postcard.
ReplyDeleteHowever, a number of you have neglected to give me your mailing addresses.
I’m not The Amazing Kreskin, you know.
I CAN’T READ YOUR MINDS.
Unless you all live in Buttfuck, Saskatchewan. Population 100.
Where the postie knows everyone by name.
Hal Johnson and Joanne McLeod from Bloggy Break called and said to "keep fit and GET SOME!"
ReplyDeletehappy sun soaking
ReplyDeleteSo I'm not the only one?
ReplyDeletePheeeew
Have a good hol luv.
ReplyDeleteHope you get lots of sunshine and a sexy postman with a pencil behind his ear.
Well, I promise not to waste too much space here, MJ. I'm pretty sure we can smut it up for you while you are on hols.
ReplyDeleteHave a happy holiday!
ReplyDelete*slumps back in chair, reaching for the oxygen*
Saw Beast today!
Happy hollydays.
ReplyDeleteGreat pics. Love to be that mailman!!! Have a great and deserved holiday. I'll email you .
ReplyDeleteAw, forgot, have a look at murasagi
ReplyDeletehttp://miroslavakolarova.blogspot.com/
was one of my catches, enjoy. Or not.
Hey, I'm going on a holiday too this week! To the great Adirondacks, not far from the Canadian border...well one of them...guess Canada's a bit large...and do you know, apropos of nothing at all, coming back from Montreal last summer I saw an enormous moose lumbering across the road!
ReplyDeleteNow if that isn't a random comment, I don't know what is.
I love postcards; how exciting.
DONN: I throw chips at the TV when I see Hal Johnson and Joanne McLeod .
ReplyDeleteBITTERSWEET: Thank you.
CYBERPOOF: The majority of you got overexcited, emailed me, but forgot to include your addresses.
Thus creating more work for me.
You lot are so high maintenance sometimes.
KAZ: I do have a sexy postman but he’s not a spring chicken and I fear putting his “pencil behind his ear” may be asking too much.
T-BIRD: We’ll just make IVD put on a frilly pinny to tidy it up then.
FROBI: Perhaps Ms. Nations will make some of her special fudge to alleviate your pain.
What was Beast doing when you saw him?
Did you have to remind him to pull up his trousers so as to cover crackage?
MYTOES: *waiting for email*
MAGO: Bulgarian bodaciousness.
LEAH: Congratulations!
Those who spot a moose become honourary Canadians.
IDV in a frilly pinny. That I'd pay to see. Actually, he can borrow my frilly apron that I bought from some markets. It's pink with a rose motif all over it.
ReplyDeleteDora saw it and called me a Stepford Wife. Is it wrong that I sort of thought that was cool - considering I loved Nicole's wardrove in the remake?
Never mind me, I am slightly drunk on an expensive bottle of chardonnay that I bought to celebrate my holidays. Yep. I am on hols too - but mine are forced. We don't get to choose when ours are.
Also, I am sad that you won't be posting. This is a big part of my morning and afternoon routine - gagging at the old cock in your posts.
Hehe. Cock. I am slightly obsessed. Seriously.
Wardrove. Not too sure what that is. I suspect something like a wardrobe, only more classy.
ReplyDeleteAlso, do you think many people fap to this site?
ReplyDeleteT-BIRD: You must learn to control your gag reflex.
ReplyDeleteIf you're wondering if many people fap to this site, this comment I got on my Armpit Sex posting should clear that question up…
"I love armpit sex and this picture made me cum. I did that to a girl pit and it was great"
lovely jubbly. I hope your sexretary gives you a good licking under the desk now and again. Happy hols!
ReplyDelete*looks around for mj and sees she is not there*
ReplyDeleteheh heh...
*climbs up onto roof and paints some large letters with yellow paint brush*
"HOT ORAL SEX, INQUIRE INSIDE"
****still waiting for Miss MJ to pull a prezzie from her back bottom***
ReplyDeleteI saw Frobisher today
ReplyDeleteHe was eating a pannini
And leering at passing builders
Seeing as the sun never shines in Vancouver, I assume you have a sun lamp beating down on all those cocktails.
ReplyDeleteTo overcome this problem, refresh your drink often and use plenty of ice from the bar fridge next to your lounging chair.
Oh...and have a great vacation. I'll email you my home address for the postcard.
I would say to keep it a clean one so as not to excite the mailman, but I realized you'd make it even more vulgar.
EMMA: But my secretary’s a poof!
ReplyDeleteVOICES: My blog is not a billboard for your dubious enterprises.
BEAST: *produces offer of decorative beads from backside*
Mr. Frobisher was not leering at the builders.
He was eyeing the bulges in their pockets, hoping they contained medical marijuana to ease his aches and pains.
WW: I have timed my vacation with precision as the first sunny stretch of weather of the year is now upon us.
Caution: Your mailman may pass out in shock.
Mmmmm shoes...
ReplyDeleteYou would love me less if I wasn't high maintenance.
ReplyDeleteJust passing by to get my fill of retro' porn.
ReplyDeleteGORDIE: I'll thank you to stop drooling all over my footwear.
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: That's just not possible!
TICKERS: Good to see you if only for a brief cameo appearance.
BYOL
ReplyDeleteThats bring yer own lube for me new RV.
yes it is old and rusty, so is me RV.
ReplyDeleteEwwww! Arm pit sex? I can't even... comprehend...
ReplyDeleteI am perpetually in envy of those 1950's models and their pretty hair and trim waists. Do you think they exercised to get figures like that? Or did they do housework?
KNUDSEN: An RV?
ReplyDeleteYou’ve gone upscale since you moved to Americky.
It seems like just yesterday we coupled in a cramped caravan in Killamory.
T-BIRD: Housewives of the 50s had it bad.
There weren’t remote controls in those days and they had to get up to switch the channel on telly.
And if that’s not workout enough they also got down to Bonnie Prudden and Jack LaLanne.
Have a good time and remember to watch plenty of porn.
ReplyDeleteWhat's a vacation? Is that some sort of technical term for being drunk and anonymously having sex with big burly dudes you meet at the 7-11?
ReplyDeleteI mean, not like I know or something, juss asking.
Have a goodun, MJ. I just got my blog mojo back and you leaving me.
Must go drown my sorrow in high alcholic content beverages.
HAPPY HOLS MJ.
ReplyDeleteCECILE: I am afraid you are confusing me with what YOU would like to do on your vacation.
ReplyDeleteAWA: With you it's any excuse for a drink.
TONY: Ta. I'll just go over and peruse your Roman holiday pics.
It's The Only Way To Travel!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy, and remember: hugs are better than drugs, but drugs are better than headaches, cramps, diariha, tax audits, getting stuck in traffic, bad mimes, ....
ReplyDeleteI'd love to borrow that pinny, T-Bird!
ReplyDeleteI've always fancied myself (not in that way) as a Stepford Wife. Not the whole robotic thing, more like Bree Van DeKamp.
The frilly pinny/apron really does make you feel like a 1950s house bot.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I've never really seen what's so wrong with keeping your house clean and making nice food to eat. Sometimes I feel like a bad feminist for the things that I like to do...
BBB: Gimme a hug, ya big lug.
ReplyDeleteIVD: You've always fancied yourself, period.
You can't play at being Bree Vandekamp because Frobi is Bree Vandekamp and has the wig to prove it.
T-BIRD: Come on over and do my housework.
I'll make you feel good about it.
My Lemon Meringue is famous!
ReplyDeleteyi back yet? eh?
ReplyDeleteFROBI: Rumour has it your muffin basket is nothing to be sniffed at either.
ReplyDeleteMANUEL: I'll be back July 1st with a special Canada Day posting.
1. Send me a postcard
ReplyDelete2. Send me a tiny fez.
3. Knudsen has a sock puppet he calls 'Mr. Happy Friendly'. Do not let 'Mr. Happy Friendly' touch you anywhere near your mouth, eyes or other mucous membranes.
4. We have a motorcycle and YOU DO NOT.
5. Stay out of America.
6. Try and have a good time anyway.
7. This will be difficult since you won't be in America, but perhaps you can visit another country thats more fun than canada....like Iraq, or Belgium.
...or Irkutsk. Obviously anything is an improvement if you go by the evidence of the SCREAMING HORDES leaving your country hourly every time the sun peeks out. "AAAAAAAA THE SUN NOOOOOOQUICK INTO THE WINNEBAGO!!!!!!!"
ReplyDelete...the same ones who pull over onto MY LAWN and ask 'So how do you get to Mt. Baker, eh?"
ReplyDeleteWell, you see that large white mountain over there to the east? The one thats kind of DOMINATING THE FUCKING SKYLINE THERE? Thats Mt. Baker.
Head towards it.
Even better are the ones who pull over and ask the same thing in fucking French. or FARSI. Yeah, I speak fluent fucking Farsi. Let me get this straight: You came over here...to America...with no clear idea how to get to your destination, and now you're going to ask for directions in Farsi?
MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT A MAP BEFORE YOU LEFT GOUDA FALLS, HUH?
*lies down with cold rag on head*
NATIONS: How about the SCREAMING HORDES of Americans who come to Vancouver?
ReplyDeleteAt 3 o'clock in the afternoon they say, "We want to go to Victoria and walk around there for awhile. And oh, by the way, this is our last day here."
Oh fine, you dumbasses.
They think they can pop over to Victoria in half an hour when in fact there's the drive to the ferry terminal in Tsawwassen, for starters, that will take you an hour in rush hour traffic.
Then there's the 5-ferry wait if it's a holiday weekend.
Then there's the 1 hour and 35 minutes you'll spend sailing.
Then when you disembark, you have to drive from Swartz Bay to Victoria which takes MORE time.
Dumb fucks.
NATIONS: Oh, nice to see you again, by the way.
ReplyDeleteKnudsen tried to convince me that his sock puppet was a Shakespearean actor.
Here I am late again...I'm gonna email you and see what kind of interesting post card you send. I just have a feeling it won't be safe for work.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I survived Dizzzyland. Yay!! Have a Cosmo for me, MJ, and enjoy your holiday!
Ooo er! And just how exactly to you plan to make me feel good about it?
ReplyDeleteRANDOM: Following in the misguided footsteps of several other bloggers, you forgot to include your mailing address when you emailed me.
ReplyDeleteDOH!
T-BIRD: Just put that pinny on and you'll find out when you get here.