LET’S START WITH BEAST IN BOURNEMOUTH, SHALL WE?...
Things are looking a little droopy in Beast’s garden.
Perhaps his solar frog will brighten things up.
This topiary arse could only be improved by inserting a ripe banana, don’t you think?
Beast gets lonely from time to time and this lovely lady is the perfect companion.
MOVING ALONG NOW TO WASHINGTON STATE WHERE WE DROP IN AT RANCHO FIRST NATIONS…
Looks like Nations has added an extra toilet planter to her yard for when company drops in.
Speaking of company, Nations is always prepared for a garden party.
Nations loves to visit the Dutch settlement of Lynden, Washington and bring back souvenirs.
Nations keeps her Barbie collection under the weeping elder. Bring your own action figures and join in the fun.
TRAVELLING SOUTH DOWN THE COAST OF CALI-FOR-NYE-AYE, WE COME TO THE ESTATE OF INNER VOICES…
The front porch got torn off in a tornado so the porch swing has been secured to a tree. Works real good!
Nobody's in the front yard so let’s ring the doorbell.
Looks like Voices is out back relaxing in the pool.
Voices and The Missus show off their yard art.
I hope you have enjoyed your lawn and garden tour.
Now bugger off. I’ve a Chia Pet to attend to.
How long has Beast been involved with Britney Spears?
ReplyDeleteParty at First Nations! Tell Inner Voice to drive over to make it a pool party!!!
I'm not so sure any thumb'll be green after going up some of these gardeners bums...
Congratulations to all of the contestants for understanding that Life is a garden and digging it.
ReplyDeleteI could not help but notice that the young gentleman in the pickup-pool has a superfluous third nipple above his other two superfluous nipples...
could he be the chosen one?
EROS: Beast only took notice of Britney after she filled out on Cheetos and Frappuccinos.
ReplyDeleteMore of her to love, he says.
As for the pool party, you’re getting ahead of yourself.
That’s coming up this summer right here on Infomaniac.
We’re all waiting to see you in your Speedo.
DONN: With his supernumerary triple-nipple-iscious-ness, he could become a nipple donor for those with inverted nips.
Yes but is it art ?
ReplyDelete* wonders where Beast got his solar frog from *
ReplyDeleteIs that a deer's bottom by IV's front door?
IV seems to reinvent himself terribly often by the looks of the pics
ReplyDeleteNice to see that over at FN there is Steinhaeger in the tub (in the brown bottle). That will be a nice poolparty ... Think the third nipple is a "Knutschfleck".
ReplyDeleteBEAST: Is it art?
ReplyDeleteOnly if it costs upwards of £60,000, looks like a tin of human excrement, and folk are asking you, “What’s the piece SAYING to you?
IVD: That is indeed a deer’s bottom.
And it’s shapelier than your flat arse, I must say.
KYLIE: Welcome to Infomaniac!
I had to check your blog to make sure you weren’t our CyberPete pretending to be Kylie Minogue as he is wont to due in the privacy of his own home complete with costume changes and makeup.
Although, coincidentally, you ARE Australian. Hmmm.
MAGO: Today’s language lesson…
Don’t try to pronounce Knutschfleck after you’ve had one too many Steinhaegers.
kylie minogue is older than me ! according to my kids she may be the ONLY person older than me
ReplyDeleteWow, that was almost Hypno-toad. What a glow!
ReplyDeleteThe turd stuffed in a pie was particularly vile.
Noice as always MJ.
KYLIE: The cheeky little monkeys!
ReplyDeleteIs it too late to return them for a refund?
HERGE: Turd pie?
I thought it was a todger tart.
That first pic...
ReplyDeleteHas it already been up Beasts manky arse? It looks to be so.
That boy needs a colonic irrigation.
PIGGY: What HASN'T been up Beast's manky arse?
ReplyDeleteA colonic irrigation is in order using the garden hose from Inner Voices pic in the previous posting.
And a pressure washer with a dirt blasting wand.
****maintains a dignified silence***
ReplyDeletego ahead and ring my door bell! see what happens
ReplyDeleteThanks for reminding me about the beautiful places I am not allowed to visit due to restraining orders.
ReplyDeleteBEAST: Oh get over yourself.
ReplyDeleteHow is it possible to maintain a dignified silence with a banana up your botty?
VOICES: Does your doorbell dispense raisin snacks?
Let’s mount Beast’s bottom by your door and stick a buzzer on it.
Oh the fun we could have!
KNUDSEN: You brought it upon yourself when you violated Nations’ rare, one-off 40th anniversary Barbie.
Her Earring Magic Ken didn’t come away from it looking too good either.
ha ha! prob. closer to the truth than you think
ReplyDeleteFROBI: No doubt.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised you haven't begun garden blogging again.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete*gathering up barbies in a huff* that is not a weeping ELDER. Although I have noticed that every time the winds blow from the NW a lot of the older people around Sumas get tears in their eyes (and complain that it smells of spoon.)
ReplyDeleteIt is an ALDER. And you have made it SAD.
Truthfully I love the bath tub thing! I would completely do that for the upcoming first annual Radioactive Progeny of FirstNations Demolition Nerdfest 3000. Why have people stuck postits all around the edge of the thing? are those rainchecks?
*flicks bic next to chia sheep, wonders why it won't catch, sniffs, wonders no longer*
Smells like...Hippie.
Hey MJ...a hippie peed on your sheep.
wow that sounds wrong.
NATIONS: Seriously I thought it was “elder” not “alder” what with you being an indigenous person and all.
ReplyDeleteThose post-it notes on the tub are the redneck version of those little wine glass name tags fancy folk use at dinner parties so they don’t get their wineglass mixed up with someone who has hepatitis.
So everyone at the bathtub party gets their own bottle.
Real civilized.
I'm bored with gardening. Lets have more bondage and buttocks.
ReplyDeleteHang on, I'm sure you could think up some vile perversions involving garden hoses and watering cans.
GARFY: You must have been absent on Naked Gardening Day.
ReplyDeleteBeast dignified?
ReplyDelete*pisses self laughing*
PIGGY: As dignified as one can possibly look when they have a banana stuck up their arse.
ReplyDelete*looks around to make sure no one is looking and pees in "pool", spends some time enjoying ones self as well".*
ReplyDeleteahhhh... this is the life!!!! any body have a bottle of vodka...
Hypnotoads and evolutionary throw backs! This is the perfect post.
ReplyDeleteI'll just be here, basking in this warm pool with IV.
*cheerses t-bird with vodka bottle*
ReplyDelete*holds Voices' head playfully under the water whilst taking a swig from his vodka bottle*
ReplyDeleteT-BIRD, that warm pool you mentioned?
That's not water, dear.
*remembers the water boarding treatments from juvenile hall and likes the feeling of drowning a bit more than he should*
ReplyDeletecome on in mj, the "water" is great!!!
*smirks to self*
VOICES: I have a superior gag reflex.
ReplyDelete*smirks even broader*
*falls out of "pool" from laughing only to realize his shorts are still on the swing in the front yard. walks on over and hops onto swing, pats seat next to him waiting for mj to join him with a fresh bottle of vodka*
ReplyDeleteVOICES: Next time, I would appreciate it if you would avoid hitting me in the face with your garden hose.
ReplyDeleteone has to fill the pool no?
ReplyDeletemy bad, i'll keep it coiled up neatly from now on!!!
how yer sunday? my dog bit the neighbor up a bunch this morning... looks like i'll have to give him my muzzle to wear from now on...
VOICES: You should take your dog to work with you to deal with some of those arseholes.
ReplyDeleteMy weekend is shit as I'm housebound with Satanic Cramps From Hell. See my comments over at Nations place. I've been harassing poor Beast again.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to curl up in the fetal position with that vodka bottle.
Some observations:
ReplyDeleteHoly Christ. I.V., technically, you can't fall "out of a pool." I think that would be rather remarkable and completely against the law of gravity. Reconsider. No honey, I think you're stuck in that swamp once in. Apparently MJ needs a "pool boy." You'll get out eventually, but you'll definately have some very serious ammonia issues (as in too much pee in the water). That's gonna hurt. Oh, but excuse me, I guess you can fall out of the back of a pick-up pool.
Kylie's here. Wow. But I'm not totally surprised because I've been here. Who knew? Cece and I were talking on the phone the other night and she said "Everyone enjoys a little porn." I said "Really? I was just there for the literary content!" Seriously! Right Cece!!!??? Of course I'm in stitches. You've all expanded my mind.
It's Random Chicks birthday today and you know how she's struggled this last year, so if you would be kind enough to go to my blog, then click on The Wild Onion Cafe and leave a wonderful comment for our dear friend, I know she will love it! So please do so and have fun. The Wild Onion is a wonderful place to say exactly what you want. Thanks all. And yes, this post and comments has/have been a source of absolute entertainment!!! You're all too funny. And MJ, Random Chicks birthday is today, the 15th, not yesterday. So gather yourself an begin again. And please bring all your friends. Thanks honey.
XO
P.S. I have something serious to say about performance art after attending UCLA. I'll reserve it for a better time.
First pic...penis envy?
ReplyDeleteclassy bitches the lot of them......
ReplyDeleteMorning, come right from duty, have an iced Steinhaeger please. Smells a little like pee here. One has to watch where to go, no good to stomp on the host, sorry MJ, was that your finger ... yeah, a lot of bitches, classy ...
ReplyDeleteBotany over at Tatas and gardening here. WTF??
ReplyDeleteWe had a Chia pet for Dink.
It's dead.
Just like her hermit crab.
SUZANNE: Cece is mad for porn.
ReplyDeleteShe’s over here at all hours.
I already wished RC a happy birthday. You mean I have to do it again?
Sheesh.
MYTOES: Not if it looks like that!
MANUEL: That’s Klassy with a capital K.
MAGO: Ouch.
You might want to leave your jackboots at home.
MAIDY: She might be better off with a dancing flower.