Notorious serial-scratcher Lewis the Cat has been placed under house arrest. The terrorizing tomcat has been ordered by a Connecticut court judge to remain indoors at all times.
Lewis has been involved in six attacks on people in his neighbourhood.
"You wouldn't believe what this cat can do." victim Janet Kettman said. "It's not just a scratching. It's a mauling. He attacks from the back.You never see it coming. He has six toes on every foot, which constitutes a very formidable weapon."
Lewis has his own page on myspace.com
YIPEEEE IM 1ST
ReplyDeleteawww poor kitty has been grounded haa haa
A guilty looking pussy if ever I saw one!
ReplyDeleteOh. I've just remembered my Totty request: Connor Trinneer, please. Preferably wearing nothing but some tiny trunks and a goofy grin!
ReplyDeleteI bet he'd give you a nasty bite on the gluteal furrow. Unless you thwarted him by wearing a strapon stool.
ReplyDeleteMidget Arse: Yay!
ReplyDeleteInexplicable: I thought you'd forgotten. Consider it done. Although I might be stumped by the tiny trunks bit. I think there's a couple of people ahead of you in the queue but I'll get to you.
Tickers: Your mind works in mysterious ways. I applaud your thwarting strategy.
Seriously, where do you find this stuff?
ReplyDeleteI was laughing at this sweet, innocent, precious, adorable, spawn of satan cat....
them black and white six-toe cats are nuts. they're either big old bags of love and valium draped all over the furniture or crazed carniverous velociraptors. i lived near one that would attack bicyclists.
ReplyDeleteXtasy: It finds me.
ReplyDeleteFirst Nations: I lived next to one that not only would attack all the neighbours, he'd also come through your open window and steal food off the counter. ANY kind of food. One day I heard a ka-thunking in the kitchen and caught him with his claws in a cantelope, dragging it across the floor toward the open window. One woman told me he ran off with freshly baked cookies. And another said he stole a roast. Incredible. He wasn't a big guy either.