Sunday, March 27, 2011

Self Defence Strategies

Here we see Mistress MJ employing an effective self defence technique…

[via]

What's your self defence strategy?

22 comments:

  1. Open snatch and grab wrestling?
    I guess it's better that quietly cutting the cheese...

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  2. How many men have fallen in, never to be seen again?

    Oh, Hai, Princess!

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  3. What's your self defence strategy?

    A pair of crocs.
    Sx

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  4. Oh Hai Mr De Vice...Miss Scarlet...

    How remiss of me I forgot to yell...

    Yay First!

    My self defence strategy involves a quick kiss on the lips, followed by a well placed knee to the groin area.

    Is that wrong?....

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  5. Beretta 92FS 9mm. Remember, this is Texas. We're armed to the teeth down here.

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  6. I've found the quickest way to get a man to leave me alone was to profess undying love. Bringing out the bridal catalogue, worked a treat too, but dragging that bitch along to the first date, when I might like a second was a bit of a hit and miss strategy.

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  7. XL honey, I live in the UK where we only get to watch guns on tv or dvd. Is 9mm big?

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  8. Hell YEAH I'd lift my legs for Timothy Farrell. I have a thing for skeevy guys in suits, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

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  9. My defence strategy? Poking out my tongue.... it's rather long

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  10. PRINCESS: Open snatch and grab wrestling?
    I guess it's better that quietly cutting the cheese...


    Open snatch, grab wrestling and cheese cutting…

    Deadly.

    IVD: How many men have fallen in, never to be seen again?
    Oh, Hai, Princess!


    A lady never tells, DO you?

    SCARLET: Rapid fire fanny farts?

    Lethal weapons.

    SCARLET: What's your self defence strategy?
    A pair of crocs.


    Eeeeeekkkk!

    *runs from room, proving success of Miss Scarlet’s strategy*

    PRINCESS: Oh Hai Mr De Vice...Miss Scarlet...
    How remiss of me I forgot to yell...
    Yay First!
    My self defence strategy involves a quick kiss on the lips, followed by a well placed knee to the groin area.
    Is that wrong?....


    Good strategy as you probably hit like a girl.

    XL: Beretta 92FS 9mm. Remember, this is Texas. We're armed to the teeth down here.

    See question from Miss Roses.

    ROSES: I've found the quickest way to get a man to leave me alone was to profess undying love. Bringing out the bridal catalogue, worked a treat too, but dragging that bitch along to the first date, when I might like a second was a bit of a hit and miss strategy.

    Showing up on a first date in a bridal gown works a treat.

    ROSES: XL honey, I live in the UK where we only get to watch guns on tv or dvd. Is 9mm big?

    Same question from Canada.

    STACIA: Hell YEAH I'd lift my legs for Timothy Farrell. I have a thing for skeevy guys in suits, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

    I’d lift my legs for Colin Farrell.

    NURSEMYRA: My defence strategy? Poking out my tongue.... it's rather long

    If you married Gene Simmons, a whole new race would begin.

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  11. STAND BACK! - SHE'S GONNA SPRAY!...

    When I am in need of defense, I just allow a few of my multiple personalities to speak all at once.

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  12. Start a long detailed monologue about uses of feminine hygine products.

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  13. That woman is "Papillon d'Amour" a super hero. Her weapon of choice is a "vaginal whisper" that is so corrosive it will render any villians flesh and muscle to liquid in just one blast.

    How do I know this? She was my father's fourth wife.

    Chilling.

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  14. It's just too easy for me on this one; I have a great left hook and if I put my keys in them at the same time, I'm licensed to maim.

    I think XL's way is much quicker however.

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  15. I tell the guy that he'd be a great father and if he could hurry up because my eggs are drying out.

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  16. Similar to your technique. Instead I lift my arm and let the pit blast repel them. Barring that ask them to buy me a round of drinks. Works every time.

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  17. another one of your scratch and sniff posts?

    "max, plug in the glade smelly thingy!"

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  18. I suppose in some situations the threat of a reinforced gusset is just not enough .
    With some people you just gotta show !

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  19. WALLY: STAND BACK! - SHE'S GONNA SPRAY!...
    When I am in need of defense, I just allow a few of my multiple personalities to speak all at once.


    How many personalities do you have?

    IVD has four…last time I counted.

    I’m going to have to set extra places for dinner.

    TB: Start a long detailed monologue about uses of feminine hygine products.

    I throw my flaming uterus at them.

    COOKIE: That woman is "Papillon d'Amour" a super hero. Her weapon of choice is a "vaginal whisper" that is so corrosive it will render any villians flesh and muscle to liquid in just one blast.
    How do I know this? She was my father's fourth wife.
    Chilling.


    I’ve lost count of your father’s conquests but your family tree appears to be laden with fruit.

    In this case, rotten apples.

    BOXER: It's just too easy for me on this one; I have a great left hook and if I put my keys in them at the same time, I'm licensed to maim.
    I think XL's way is much quicker however.


    *jots down reminder not to get in Boxer’s bad books*

    LULU: I tell the guy that he'd be a great father and if he could hurry up because my eggs are drying out.

    Even better than dragging your bridal catalogue along with you!

    AYEM8Y: Similar to your technique. Instead I lift my arm and let the pit blast repel them. Barring that ask them to buy me a round of drinks. Works every time.

    Can you do armpit farts?

    NORMADESMOND: another one of your scratch and sniff posts?
    "max, plug in the glade smelly thingy!"


    Don’t make me post the “smells like pussy” link again.

    BEAST: I suppose in some situations the threat of a reinforced gusset is just not enough .
    With some people you just gotta show !


    You don’t have any need for reinforcement!

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  20. I'd show them a picture of the butt baby...that'll scar them for life!

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  21. EROS: I'd show them a picture of the butt baby...that'll scar them for life!

    Brilliant.

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