Thursday, March 10, 2011

Don't Smoke in Bed

Don't smoke in bed.

But if you do, use one of these smoking accoutrements...

[via]

Buy one now through the Infomaniac Shopping Network and receive a free Hollywood Finger Cigarette Ring.

26 comments:

  1. FIRST! I sorta smoke in bed but not like I did when I was 22.

    Oh. wait...not that kinda' smoking.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MICHAEL GUY: FIRST! I sorta smoke in bed but not like I did when I was 22.
    Oh. wait...not that kinda' smoking.


    Oh, you still smoke, alright.

    PRINCESS: It's the Hookers Hooker....

    The Infomaniac Shopping Network will market it under that name…thank you, Princess.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ga - I'll shoot it out with my TEquilla Gun!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I want a finger ring.
    Oh hang on, that doesn't sound right.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  5. MAGO: Ga - I'll shoot it out with my TEquilla Gun!

    Step away from the firearms.

    SCARLET: I want a finger ring.
    Oh hang on, that doesn't sound right.


    Be careful what you wish for, as they say.

    XL: I'll fluff her pillows.

    But Miss Scarlet is still poorly and needs your attention.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Also convenient for smoking out of one's ass.

    ReplyDelete
  7. HAYWARD: Also convenient for smoking out of one's ass.

    Like this?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Smoke in bed device, tequilla gun, just add my real fake mink trimmed bed jacket and my copy of "Houseboys Grown Up"; heaven indeed. TB P. S. When you get your copy check out p. 37. Little Jeffrey really has grown up to be a big man. (No, its not photostopped Miss MJ).

    ReplyDelete
  9. It makes you want to take up smoking again.

    ReplyDelete
  10. she uses the same method
    for blowing her boyfriend.

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  11. Not quite so glam as this, but probably safer.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wait! Did I say 'glam'? I meant 'tranny'.

    ReplyDelete
  13. What she really needs are some pillow cases...Only a common whore would use a bed pillow without proper linen!

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  14. I have been know to smoulder between the sheets .

    ReplyDelete
  15. TB: Smoke in bed device, tequilla gun, just add my real fake mink trimmed bed jacket and my copy of "Houseboys Grown Up"; heaven indeed. TB P. S. When you get your copy check out p. 37. Little Jeffrey really has grown up to be a big man. (No, its not photostopped Miss MJ).

    Thank heaven for little boys
    For little boys get bigger every day!

    MITZI: It makes you want to take up smoking again.

    Mistress MJ is not, nor has she ever been, a smoker.

    Yet she is fascinated by smoking accoutrements and collects cigarette holders.

    WALLY: Mmm, a hookahrette.

    Like training wheels.

    NORMADESMOND: she uses the same method
    for blowing her boyfriend.


    Hygiene…yet another selling point!

    IVD: Not quite so glam as this, but probably safer.

    Bet Lynch…my role model!

    All that’s missing is her leopard print.

    IVD: Wait! Did I say 'glam'? I meant 'tranny'.

    You say tomato I say tomahto.

    Wait..you’re English..it’s the other way around.

    COOKIE: What she really needs are some pillow cases...Only a common whore would use a bed pillow without proper linen!

    Takes one to know one!

    BEAST: I have been know to smoulder between the sheets.

    We can’t imagine much smouldering goes on under your sheets.

    ReplyDelete
  16. smoking in bed only means a person didn't get something done they needed to do.
    Get up and do it...
    then don't smoke in bed.

    ReplyDelete
  17. what do I have to do to get a finger ring in every colour?

    ReplyDelete
  18. BONEMAN: smoking in bed only means a person didn't get something done they needed to do.
    Get up and do it...
    then don't smoke in bed.


    Sounds like too much effort.

    *falls back onto pillows*

    NURSEMYRA: what do I have to do to get a finger ring in every colour?

    Simply send ten empty fag packs to the Infomaniac Shopping Network.

    And give us your credit card details.

    ReplyDelete
  19. kabuki trends to smoulder, rarely smoking as the odour is difficult to remove from kabukis' 800000 threaad count sheets. you literally have to beat them clean with sticks, like so many things from kabukis' bed. odd, indeed?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Does a bush fire count ???

    ReplyDelete
  21. KABUKI: kabuki trends to smoulder, rarely smoking as the odour is difficult to remove from kabukis' 800000 threaad count sheets. you literally have to beat them clean with sticks, like so many things from kabukis' bed. odd, indeed?

    This should get rid of the smell.

    BEAST: Does a bush fire count ???

    What time is it in the UK?

    Shouldn’t Ma Beastie be tucking you into your Sponge Bob sheets by now?

    ReplyDelete
  22. I actually have one of these! Bought it years ago because the tag on the bottom said "cigarette holder for a one armed man".

    ReplyDelete
  23. AYEM8Y: I actually have one of these! Bought it years ago because the tag on the bottom said "cigarette holder for a one armed man".

    I’d like you to clasp it between your butt cheeks for your next nude photo shoot.

    ReplyDelete