We have two reasons to celebrate today.
The Infomaniac House of Beauty is back in business!
And the vodka fountain has been repaired!
We feel it best not to discuss the Infomaniac House of Beauty’s sordid closing nor the subsequent legal proceedings.
Instead, let us busy ourselves with learning how to walk like ladies with perfect posture.
Everybody take an empty glass and place it on your head.
Chest out, shoulders down, heads up and look straight ahead.
Are you ready?
Now march to the vodka fountain and fill up your glasses!
I'm first at the vodka fountain!
ReplyDeleteYea!
I'm still waiting for my settlement money over that so-called "perm."
ReplyDeleteWALLY: I'm first at the vodka fountain!
ReplyDeleteYea!
You need to get here early to beat those lushes CyberPete and Roses to the trough.
Now let’s see you balance it all the way back without spilling a drop.
PEENEE: I'm still waiting for my settlement money over that so-called "perm."
Is that why you’re still wearing that hat?
i'm a 21st century girl.....i've got a kindle on my head.
ReplyDeleteI'd like a lightweight book, please.
ReplyDeleteNORMADESMOND: i'm a 21st century girl.....i've got a kindle on my head.
ReplyDeleteA Kindle on your head and a candle up your…
Oh never mind.
It would make a good reading light though.
XL: I'd like a lightweight book, please.
For linking to Celine Dion, your vodka fountain privileges have been taken away.
Let that be a lesson to you.
My heart will go on!
ReplyDeletenot a minute to soon for either event. have you taken a good look at the crowd? and can we make sure no one pees in the fountain this time. canandians - eeech!
ReplyDeleteA young Joker smiles despite Mrs. Dumonts' attempts to scrape off his greasepaint.
ReplyDelete(In later years, the Joker learned that the best way to avoid getting groped in the back seat of the getaway car was to save the saucy bathing suit stuff for AFTER the heist.)
K'bookey: Testify!
ReplyDeleteXL: My heart will go on!
ReplyDeleteDo not make Mistress MJ get out her paddle with your name on it.
KABUKI: not a minute to soon for either event. have you taken a good look at the crowd? and can we make sure no one pees in the fountain this time. canandians - eeech!
They’re too busy in the bathtub to even think of peeing in the fountain.
And please pay no attention to First Flatbutt.
NATIONS: A young Joker smiles despite Mrs. Dumonts' attempts to scrape off his greasepaint.
(In later years, the Joker learned that the best way to avoid getting groped in the back seat of the getaway car was to save the saucy bathing suit stuff for AFTER the heist.)
Riddle me this…
Where is the Alice B. Toklas fudge you promised us?
FirstFlatbutt: K'bookey: Testify!
Stay on your OWN side of the border!
Talk about coals to Newcastle...you live right in the middle of vast waving fields of the main ingredient, there in Maniballsackitobakatchiweird. Make your own damn fudge.
ReplyDelete*faces south, bares a defiant hine flatter than the praries*
FirstDeviations: Talk about coals to Newcastle...you live right in the middle of vast waving fields of the main ingredient, there in Maniballsackitobakatchiweird. Make your own damn fudge.
ReplyDelete*faces south, bares a defiant hine flatter than the praries*
Tell you what…
You update the Mr. Egyptian Penis Man story and then we can talk.
Until then, you are barred from the vodka fountain.
@ First Nations: Please whip up a batch of Laudanum. I'm cut off from the vodka fountain, too.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mistress but I have my vodka drip in today.... saves me that pesky business of getting up and refilling :)
ReplyDeleteWhen do the deportment classes begin for wayward Lesbian's - I don't want to miss that!
ReplyDeleteNothing to do with the post but I felt the need to share this.
ReplyDeleteI've never seen Twilight. And thanks to this site, I don't need to.
Yay! First! Oh, and I see Roses is second.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant!
Legal proceedings still linger.
ReplyDeleteAll shall be resolved soon.
See you in court bitch!
Have I got my job back yet?
ReplyDeleteSx
I am away to deal with Mr Pirate, once and for all. He may have a superb arse, but enough is enough.
Second!
ReplyDeleteOh look, we can't count.
More vodka anyone?
XL: @ First Nations: Please whip up a batch of Laudanum. I'm cut off from the vodka fountain, too.
ReplyDeleteMs. Nations cannot help you now as I have sent her to oubliette!
*insert maniacal laugh here*
DAMIEN: Thank you Mistress but I have my vodka drip in today.... saves me that pesky business of getting up and refilling :)
That explains those hospital IV pics on your blog!
COOKIE: When do the deportment classes begin for wayward Lesbian's - I don't want to miss that!
There’s no acting graceful in Birkenstocks, Mr. Cookie.
KAPI: Nothing to do with the post but I felt the need to share this.
I've never seen Twilight. And thanks to this site, I don't need to.
Twinklight…
It’s good to see the niche for “cock-thirsty vampires” is being filled.
And it looks like those young men are really sinking their teeth into their roles.
CYBERPOOF: Yay! First! Oh, and I see Roses is second.
Brilliant!
You daft Danish pastry.
Get to the back of the line.
AYEM8Y: Legal proceedings still linger.
All shall be resolved soon.
See you in court bitch!
I’ll see to it that no one ever sets foot in the Mean Dirty Pirate Leprosarium ever again!
SCARLET: Have I got my job back yet?
I am away to deal with Mr Pirate, once and for all. He may have a superb arse, but enough is enough.
We all know that it was AyeM8y who caused the worldwide leprosy epidemic by rinsing IVD’s his warty wand in the vodka supply.
So yes, your job remains open here at the Infomaniac House of Beauty.
ROSES: Second!
Oh look, we can't count.
More vodka anyone?
Not only are you unable to count, you’re unable to stand up straight!
Considering your penchant for vodka, I sincerely doubt you’ll ever be able to walk a straight line let alone maintain a pleasing posture.
I like to wear my book on a jaunty angle and still glide like a gizelle.
ReplyDeleteIf things don't work out there's always a job waiting for them at the Clinique counter at Debenhams.
MITZI: I like to wear my book on a jaunty angle and still glide like a gizelle.
ReplyDeleteIf things don't work out there's always a job waiting for them at the Clinique counter at Debenhams.
More likely they’ll end up behind the counter at Primark, flogging “Faking It” self-tanner.
If the glass on my head is empty, it means I've already sucked down the contents, therefore my balance isn't going to be too good, I'm afraid.
ReplyDeleteFeeling a little under the weather today, was wondering if one of you could do me a favor - could you stop by the store & pick up a few things for me? A couple cartons of Virginia Slims, some syringes, and a small jar of goat gland powder (available at any drug store, but you have to ask the pharmacist for it). Thank you! Just leave it by my front door, please...
SOmewhere in my house, I have an article from a 1905 newspaper with the article headline of HOW TO BE ERECT. I should unearth it...
ReplyDeleteyou do realize that, outside a dog, a book is man's best friend...
ReplyDeleteOf course, inside a dog, it's too dark to read...
d=^))
ROXY: If the glass on my head is empty, it means I've already sucked down the contents, therefore my balance isn't going to be too good, I'm afraid.
ReplyDeleteFeeling a little under the weather today, was wondering if one of you could do me a favor - could you stop by the store & pick up a few things for me? A couple cartons of Virginia Slims, some syringes, and a small jar of goat gland powder (available at any drug store, but you have to ask the pharmacist for it). Thank you! Just leave it by my front door, please...
Would you settle for a slightly used tin of Bag Balm?
COOKIE: SOmewhere in my house, I have an article from a 1905 newspaper with the article headline of HOW TO BE ERECT. I should unearth it...
If you want help trying to figure out how to be erect, I’m sure CyberPete or IVD could help you.
They both seem very willing.
BONEMAN: you do realize that, outside a dog, a book is man's best friend...
Of course, inside a dog, it's too dark to read...
Did Confucius say that?