Monday, January 21, 2008

What Have I Missed?

I’m back from a brief break and have a day to relax before returning to work.

Once my nails have dried, I’ll be over to your blogs to catch up.

In the meantime, tell me if I’ve missed anything.

What have you been up to these last few days?


  1. I've been snorting coke and pepsi and fucking midgets. Oh and I dusted my bookshelf I should really get some books for it some day. Short ones with pictures.

  2. The way you've tucked your little penis between your legs like that makes you look like a lady!

    Oh, and I've been visiting friends and The Parents, cleaning and working. Didn't even have time for a walk down by the docks to take in that bracing air.

  3. Plotting to rule the world.

    Sor far I've found the paper, if I could just find a pen ...

  4. Spent 2 hours listening to a special about fungi on Radio 4.

  5. Working, drinking, and blogging.

  6. I have mostly been poking dead things with a stick and composing haiku.

  7. KNUDSEN: If you print my entire blog out, then you’d have a short book with pictures to put on your bookshelf.

    Save me a line of that Pepsi.

    IVD: I’m a laydee, not a rubbish transvestite.

    You’d best get down to the docks before some opportunistic rentboy takes your place. You’re not getting any younger, you know.

    CONNIE: Perhaps you should stick to the board game “Risk” as you ponder your strategy.

    CB: Did they tell this joke?…
    Bar-Keeper: Hey Mushroom! Get out! We don't serve your kind here!
    Mushroom: Aw, come on! I'm a fun guy.

    TICKERS: In that order? You’re drunk now, aren’t you?

    GARFY: All that AND a discussion on cheap tarts.

    While you’ve that stick in your hand, give SID a poke for me, would you?

  8. I've done fuck-all. Just watching the precious moments of my miserable existence tick away, never to be recovered.

    Oh, and I went down to Spider's house and checked out his new Marshall.

  9. well it's below zero for 3 days now in my section of the world...

    oh yeah and hitch is now a religious zealot...

    outside of that you havent missed much

  10. RIMMER: You need to get out more.

    TONY: Whose breasts have you been stroking?

    Isn’t Hebden Bridge the lesbo capital of the UK? Couldn’t you use them as sandbags?

    DAISY: When it gets that cold you need a muff.

    SID: You’re wet?

    I’ll have to send you the Super version of Depends as it looks like your brand of nappies has failed you again.

  11. MJ...i have the muff...just need a good diver who can hold his breath for long periods of time...or know how to breathe through his nose either way...

  12. DAISY: Knudsen's your man.

    He once made his living as a muff diver off the cliffs of Killamory and he can hold his breath for 6 minutes.

  13. MJ, I would very much enjoy getting out more. Any suggestions as to what/where?

  14. I became Prime Minister for the day on Sunday. It was all kept a bit hush-hush.

    It was quite boring though, so I then turned myself invisible, hopped over to Elk Grove and watched Rimshot prancing around in a baby-doll outfit and wanking off his dog.

    I only just managed to get out before the invisibility wore off.

    Other than that, nothing much has been happening.

  15. I have been doing charity work and eating other peoples food

  16. Piggy: Hopped like a bunny? And what method of bending light around your cells/molecules did you employ for this 'invisibility' that you refer to? Too bad you couldn't make your stench invisible as well.

    As you know, my dog is a female.

  17. RIMMER: Try turning off your PC, for starters.

    PIGGY: Prime Minister?

    You’ll need a Sebastian.

    FROBI: Pies, was it?


    Or Fray Bentos?

    Lesbian blood beetroot cheese, perhaps?

  18. stuff......very cool stuff......but I cant talk about it.....

  19. You look like a ghost! Oh. I forgot. You are a ghost.

  20. See I told you so!
    You look much younger without the lambchops and the moustache.

    Why are you trying to balance a weiner on your fingertips?
    Don't you have TIVO?

  21. MANUEL: I see that your beans are still firmly in the can, which is timely, considering my post for Tuesday.

    WW: I’m not the type of ghoul you take home to mother.

    HE: You don’t want to see me trying to balance a weiner on my face.