Monday, October 29, 2007

Rimshot Exposed! – Part One

“Cutest Baby” blah blah blah

As you know, male Infomaniac readers who are new to this blog must submit a photo of their bare arse to me. It is required of all of you.

I’ve published an updated posting of your Alluring Arses. Here you may view the delightful backsides of Alasdair, Eddie Waring, Old Knudsen, Piggy, Spikey, Tazzy, Tickers, Tony and WW.

Not every male Infomaniac reader’s arse is represented but that’s because some of you shy fellas requested privacy. I respect your wishes and won’t publish them for the other pervs here to drool over. However, I’ve created a wallpaper collage of the private pics for my own personal enjoyment.

Anyway (Piggy’s fave word) along comes a new reader by the name of Rimshot. Like every new male reader, Rimshot is required to email me a pic of his bare arse. He does so promptly.

I have in my possession a photograph of our Rimshot, showing him from behind, face turned toward the camera, with his bare arse on display.

I’m holding an auction today. If I get enough bids, I’ll post the pic of Rimshot’s arse on Tuesday.

What are you willing to give me to see the photo of Rimshot's arse? Cash? Oh that’s too simple but if you must.

Or is there something else you’d give to see him nekkid?

Get creative, bitches, or you won’t see his bare botty at all.

What’s a pic of Rimshot’s arse worth to you?

Start the bidding!


  1. my own secret Dock Pudding recipe.(Dock leaves only grow in my Yorkshire Valley)
    by the way mj i did tell you the other week, my scanner had broke.I couldnt send you my baby photo then.As a way of saying sorry i was going to send you a newer rim-shot (although,god knows,it doesnt look any better now) but! the scanner screen aint big enough!

  2. I bid with my virginity.

    It's the most precious possession I have. I keep it in a jar up the chimney, away from prying eyes. But, in the interests of Blogger Bottoms everywhere, you may have it.

    Besides, I haven't used it in years!

  3. I bid my fabulous water gun

    never has a water gun been that fabulous

  4. I will happily divest myself of my yodelling hopping lederhosen shorts (with sausage control - batteries not include - unit).

  5. I'll pay with a real genuine tin of Harry Ramsdens Mushy Peas.

    That's got to be worth much more than any other offer you receive.

  6. TONY: The CONTROVERSIAL dock pudding, I might add!

    As for that new shot, get scanning.

    IVD: Nobody wants your dried cherry.

    Who would want to chew on that old fruit leather?

    CYBERPETE: Doesn’t Frobi have first dibs on the water gun as his booby prize?

    GARFY: You’ve got the hopping, YODELLING lederhosen with knockwurst remote control?

    I covet those!

    Have you seen them in action?

    *revs up my battery recharger*

    PIGGY: Your mushy peas would have been worth something to me had Garfy not beat you to it with the lederhosen.

    Surely there must be something else?

  7. I admit it, I've got nothing

    Let Frobi have the fabulous water gun

    I'm sure we'll get to see the rimshot for free anyway

  8. I bid two tins of Spotted Dick and a genuine Gypsy Blue pin and bumper sticker along with an autographed picture of me in all my big haired 80's glory, additionally, I will provide one flash frozen, ready to cook Lou Malnati's deep dish (Chicago Style) pizza.
    (this of course is all for you NOT to post)

  9. CYBERPETE: Surely you must have a nice Danish cheese platter to offer and some wienerbrød?

    RIMJOB: Your public will demand I post the 80s glory days pic.

  10. I am prepared to offer a free trip to the Devonian lowlands and free accommodation in exchange for NOT publishing this ... please no...I beg you... no.

  11. I have no problem with the posting of 80's glory days pic, nor would I mind you posting a picture of the pizza.

  12. MUTLEY: To your infamous autumn solstice celebration?

    With free admission to the bukkake tent?

    RIMJOB: Scan and send.

    Garfy's lederhosen offer really may be all the impetus I need to post the arse pic but I'll see if anyone can up the ante.

  13. Not until I have assurances.

    You would rather the lederhosen than a cornicopia of items and pizza? What if I upped the offer to include a bottle of Glenfiddich?

  14. RIMJOB: Glenfiddich? When I prefer Laphroaig and Lagavulin?

    I think not.

    Garfy, what were you saying about yodelling lederhosen?

  15. Don't accept MJ

    it'll be the airplane sized bottle

  16. This auction is obviously rigged/fixed.

    Interpol has been notified.

  17. SEVEN!

    and my super secret fabulous tasty

    and nine quatloos. take it or leave it.

  18. ...i need to find another name for that recipe, huh.


  19. TWO tins of mushy peas.

    And a packet of Yokshire Pudding mix.

    And some of those new flavoured Hob Nobs that only came out last month.

    And a packet of Vomit crisps (they taste of chicken).

    And a bespoke Crimbo Card specially created just for you.

  20. Hmmm everyone else really gets into the spirit of things so I'll have to make up for the water gun going to Frobi

    How about a box of these

  21. Fourteen Quatloos! The aforementioned two tins of Spotted Dick, Lou Malnati's Deep Dish Pizza, Autographed Gypsy Blue memoribilia treasure chest, and my World's Greatest Fried Chicken recipe (money back guarantee: if you've ever had better fried chicken, I'll refund you the cost of all the ingredients)...


    ...and authentic Spider St. Valentine ORIGINAL lyric written in his very hand, along with a guitar pick used by Spider.

  22. I bid the promise that your pics will remain safe with me for ever!

    *evil laugh*

  23. FN: What about a burrito? Hand-rolled by you in person wearing nothing but your corn-stained shirt?

    PIGGY: How about Tazzy's rice pudding?

    What new flavour of HobNobs?

    A special Crimbo card? Now you're talking!

    CYBERPOO: Is that link safe for work? I'm not going there 'til you tell me.

    RIMJOB: I already have a tin of unopened spotted dick in my cupboard AND a tin of unopened haggis. I cannot be swayed.

    SID: Email me immediately.


  24. Yes it is work safe, but very addictive

  25. Final offer:

    1. World's Best Fried Chicken Recipe (including guarantee mentioned above)
    2. Gypsy Blue memoribilia kit
    3. Original Spider St. Valentine artwork.
    4. 14 Quatloos
    5. A recording of me singing the Canadian National Anthem
    6. A brand new, heat resistant plastic spatula
    7. TWO(2) rolls of giant size "Smartees" candy
    8. A tin of Underwood Spiced Ham sandwich spread.
    9. An amazing and one of a kind super secret bonus item that may or may not be some sort of Chicago related tchatchki

  26. CYBERPOOP: The link is in Danish!

    I see several variations on the word "sukker" which intrigues me.

    Does that mean what I think it means?

    RIMJOB: The 80s glory days pic.

    I want the 80s glory days pic. And permission to post it along with your arse pic.

    I've been to Chicago several times so I have all the tchatchkes.

  27. Smartees?

    Is that an off brand?

    We have Smarties, and they are nowhere near as good as m&ms

  28. The 80's glory days pic(s) are included in #2 above.

    You've been to Chicago several times and never once looked me up for a drink! Meh.

    And as I said, it may NOT be a Chicago related tchatchki

  29. Oh, did I mention that the picture is cursed as is all who gaze upon it?

  30. CYBERSLUT: Sugar?

    Well I knew it was something you put in your mouth.

    RIMJOB: Quit stalling.

    Just shut up and send the pic.

  31. Okay, seems there's nothing much I can add to this auction, but hell I want to see the ass pic, so here goes
    A bottle of Talisker,a bottle of only slightly used Herbal Essences Shampoo (Citrus lift no less), an old A4 sized card poster of Marlyn Monroe, the BIGGEST damn Cornetto you will have ever seen and a copy of 'The Cat in the Hat' signed by the author of Vellum.

  32. PUMPKIN: Is Herbal Essences the shampoo that will give me an orgasm?

    If so, we have a deal.

    A bottle of Talisker AND a big-ass Cornetto? Are you sure he's worth it?

  33. i am gloating, and it is a SECRET why I am gloating.

    but I am.

    oh, I AM.

    35 quatloos, a picture of me making a burrito and the bread recipe AND a picture of a woman with a stinky beaver tied to a tree.

  34. FN: What?

    I told you I Febrezed it. What more can I do? Stick an Air Wick Plug In Air Freshener into it?

  35. SID - email me the pics!

    Or I email yours to everyone on our contact list.

    Thank of the fun we could have!

  36. Yes, 'Thank' of it!

    Also, MJ, what exactly is a 'botty'?

  37. C'mon Rim hun, you sent in the pic, I just wanna see if it's half as nice as you come across, it should be one hell of an ass! (flatterflatterflatter)

  38. PIGGY: I'll deal with both you and SID.


    RIMJOB: You're sitting on it.

    PUMPKIN: Flatter?

    Flat BUTT, more like.

  39. I 'll let you borrow Maidy for a weekend.

  40. GEO: Oh sweet jeebus, save me from THAT fate.

  41. no, not you. this is a picture of some anonymous woman with a stinky beaver tied to a tree. shes wearing a black negligee and being attacked by flying babies.

    it's really cool.

  42. FN: Well can you blame me for thinking it's me what with you and Rimjob and Frobi and Beast all taking shots at me hither and yon today?

    I've had to douche with Lysol just to maintain an illusion of freshness!

  43. What did I do? (and what did I say about the name calling young lady, after all I've done for you)

  44. RIMMER: I saw what you said about me over at Beasts.

  45. This is your last chance. Turn back now or risk your very souls. Damnation or salvation is yours to choose. Is a picture worth eternal heck-fire (well, maybe not 'fire' per-se, but I hear that there are sparklers that are held relatively close to the skin and could cause an irritation of sorts with prolonged exposure)

  46. RIMMER: I think I’ve just entered the Crazy World of Arthur Brown.

    The pics WILL be posted.

    Damn the consequences.