Saturday, October 13, 2007

Piggy’s Trotters

You’ve seen Piggy’s scabby, flea-bitten legs…







Now take a look at his horribly misshapen trotters!…








On a repulsion scale of 1-10, 10 being the most hideous, rate Piggy’s trotters and comment further if you have any strength left in you.
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35 comments:

  1. Divian2:46 AM, October 13, 2007

    I must now go and shampoo my eyes.

    You should include a warning next time!

    *runs*

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous3:04 AM, October 13, 2007

    Cunt.

    And you too, Awa.

    *cries*

    Oh and while I'm here, can I say the most enormous 'Thank You' EVER for the totally unexpected, but very gratefull received, email we found in our inbox this morning from one of MJ's 'friends' - containing FOUR photo's of the worthless Canuck!

    There may be trouble ahead.

    *rub hands*

    *cackles the most evil cackle ever*

    Anyone who wants them - you know how to contact us - or just wait a wee bit and we'll display them in all their glory!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous3:06 AM, October 13, 2007

    *still laughing*

    I know - Let's make Monday a special day.

    'MJ Monday'!

    *schemes and plans*

    ReplyDelete
  4. CyberPete4:32 AM, October 13, 2007

    What I noticed was that there is what looks like a Jean Paul Gaultier can on the shelf, if that's correct then good on you P&T!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Inexplicable DeVice4:33 AM, October 13, 2007

    * vomits *

    Eww. Thank goodness the screen's covered in puke and I can't see those deformed extremeties.
    I wondered what clubfoot in humans looked like, but didn't think it could be so... so horrific!

    Rating: 10. Definitely.

    ReplyDelete
  6. KAZ5:36 AM, October 13, 2007

    Well I love a shapely ankle!

    So I'll just have another look at mj's avatar.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous6:35 AM, October 13, 2007

    Well spotted, CyberPete! There is indeed a can of JPG on the shelf!

    (for the non eagled-eyed amongst you, it's the ribbed silver can on the right of the speaker control)

    You see - we DO have decent taste.

    And how nosey of CyberPete perusing the contents of our shelves!

    ReplyDelete
  8. CyberPete6:46 AM, October 13, 2007

    Well I had to look somewhere and your feet aren't much to look at

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous7:49 AM, October 13, 2007

    MJ's quiet today!

    *silence is golden and bliss*

    ReplyDelete
  10. CyberPete8:11 AM, October 13, 2007

    Yes that's lovely

    What's that thing next to your right foot in front of the remote?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous10:57 AM, October 13, 2007

    It's a subsonic particle smasher, of course.

    Actually, I can't remember. That pic was taken at least a year ago and we've moved everything since then and replaced them with equally useless rubbish.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The Mistress11:29 AM, October 13, 2007

    AWA: The words “look at his horribly misshapen trotters” should have been warning enough.

    PIGGY: Who sent you pics?? Was it that Irish cunt?

    *plots revenge*

    You can’t have “MJ Monday” as it’s “Carly Week” all week long, isn’t it?

    CYBERPUKE: That’s not Jean Paul Gaultier. It’s a tin of dog food that Piggy snacks on when he’s peckish.

    IVD: At least he’s not wearing your bowling shoes.

    KAZ: *wonders why Kaz is paying me a compliment*

    Oh I just remembered we’re the same shoe size. You want my blue Docs, don’t you?

    PIGGY: Useless rubbish on your desk now? Surely you’re not referring to Teddy Canuck Stan?!

    Last time I send you a pressie, if so.

    ReplyDelete
  13. garfer12:27 PM, October 13, 2007

    There is only one solution to this hideousness.

    Amputation.

    With a chain saw.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Inexplicable DeVice12:29 PM, October 13, 2007

    Hear, hear, Garfer.

    Although it already looks like someone's had a go at his 'toes', if that is indeed what they are/were.

    ReplyDelete
  15. S.I.D.12:43 PM, October 13, 2007

    Garfy ~ Without anaesthesia of course.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous1:36 PM, October 13, 2007

    *thinks MJ's going to be ever so slightly stunned at who sent the pics - and at what they are!*

    Nope. Not SID, by the way.

    Clue: Someone a bit closer to home (yours, not ours)

    *laffs*

    ReplyDelete
  17. Inexplicable DeVice1:45 PM, October 13, 2007

    * on edge of seat with anticipation of MJ pics *

    ReplyDelete
  18. The Mistress3:05 PM, October 13, 2007

    GARFY, IVD & SID: What’s to amputate?

    Aren’t those things at the end of his legs stumps as it is?

    How does he get around hobbling on those stumps?

    Do you suppose he “Piggy”-backs on Tazzy?

    PIGGY: Nobody else has pics of me.

    *relaxes*

    IVD: Let’s not forget we have a pic of you as the Turd Burglar that some readers may have missed the first time round.

    *anticipates nervous laughter from Miss Prissy*

    ReplyDelete
  19. S.I.D.3:42 PM, October 13, 2007

    *The money I could make*

    *sigh*

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous3:44 PM, October 13, 2007

    MJ - Oh yes they do! As do we now!

    You'll see.

    As will everyone else.

    Slightly doctored, of course, but I'm quite sure you'll recognise them (we're going to cut your head off, but will be leaving a fair amount of the originals intact).

    We're also quite certain you'll be straight on to the phone to your (ex) friend (who, I gather, will be expecting the call!).

    Tee hee hee hee hee hee HEEEEE!

    Clue 2: The sender of the pics is NOT a blogger!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous3:46 PM, October 13, 2007

    SID - The money WE could make now!

    Shall we start the bidding for the originals (including the bonce)?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous3:48 PM, October 13, 2007

    I would say a 9. A little thick but the toes look straight.(Positive sign). Now if we only get him to put some polish on them and hide the hideous it might not be bad! Ever go tanning??

    ReplyDelete
  23. S.I.D.3:52 PM, October 13, 2007

    Yes Mytoes he does go to the tanners,the horse tanners.

    ReplyDelete
  24. The Mistress4:28 PM, October 13, 2007

    SID: Don't even think about it.

    *withholds SID's special privileges*

    PIGGY: Friend who's not a blogger?

    OH SHIT!

    What's a bonce?

    MYTOES: Nothing about Piggy is straight.

    SID: The tanners AND the farriers.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous4:48 PM, October 13, 2007

    'Bonce' = head

    The one sat on top of shoulders.

    Oh I see you're suddenly paying attention at the realisation it's not a blogger.

    *rubs hands*

    Awaits the fallout.

    ReplyDelete
  26. The Mistress5:17 PM, October 13, 2007

    PIGGY: You'd forgotten you'd sent this trotter pic to me whilst in a drunken stupor, didn't you?

    *avoids mentioning other revealing pics sent to me that same time*

    *plots revenge following fallout*

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous5:29 PM, October 13, 2007

    *didn't have any other pics to send*

    *plots further 'situations' with the MJ pics*

    ReplyDelete
  28. The Mistress5:44 PM, October 13, 2007

    PIGGY: What? I can't hear you.

    And oh I think you WILL find you sent other pics.

    And don't bother emailing me pleading me to delete them as I'm off for the evening and won't be checking my mail.

    Ta' ra!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous5:44 PM, October 13, 2007

    I think he has nice feet...

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous6:08 PM, October 13, 2007

    She'll be back later, drunk as usual. Minge dripping toxic sludge.

    ReplyDelete
  31. The Mistress8:37 PM, October 14, 2007

    MUTLEY: Has he asked you to lick them?

    PIGGY: I've sobered up.

    And my minge is a garden of earthly delights, I'll have you know.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Anonymous1:44 AM, October 15, 2007

    Garden of earthly delights = slugs, snails, worms and pigeon shit.

    ReplyDelete
  33. The Mistress1:49 AM, October 15, 2007

    PIGGY: Slugs, snails, worms and pigeon shit?

    I'm told that's how it is in Yorkshire but mine is ambrosia.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Piggy and Tazzy11:01 AM, January 05, 2010

    Oh, you evil cunt. I'd forgotten all about these pics.

    Thankfully, we all know that people either (a) never click links, or (b) look at old posts.

    Bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  35. The Mistress11:06 AM, January 05, 2010

    PIGGY: Then maybe it's time I reposted this.

    ReplyDelete

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