Saturday, October 13, 2007

Piggy’s Trotters

You’ve seen Piggy’s scabby, flea-bitten legs…

Now take a look at his horribly misshapen trotters!…

On a repulsion scale of 1-10, 10 being the most hideous, rate Piggy’s trotters and comment further if you have any strength left in you.


  1. I must now go and shampoo my eyes.

    You should include a warning next time!


  2. Cunt.

    And you too, Awa.


    Oh and while I'm here, can I say the most enormous 'Thank You' EVER for the totally unexpected, but very gratefull received, email we found in our inbox this morning from one of MJ's 'friends' - containing FOUR photo's of the worthless Canuck!

    There may be trouble ahead.

    *rub hands*

    *cackles the most evil cackle ever*

    Anyone who wants them - you know how to contact us - or just wait a wee bit and we'll display them in all their glory!

  3. *still laughing*

    I know - Let's make Monday a special day.

    'MJ Monday'!

    *schemes and plans*

  4. What I noticed was that there is what looks like a Jean Paul Gaultier can on the shelf, if that's correct then good on you P&T!

  5. * vomits *

    Eww. Thank goodness the screen's covered in puke and I can't see those deformed extremeties.
    I wondered what clubfoot in humans looked like, but didn't think it could be so... so horrific!

    Rating: 10. Definitely.

  6. Well I love a shapely ankle!

    So I'll just have another look at mj's avatar.

  7. Well spotted, CyberPete! There is indeed a can of JPG on the shelf!

    (for the non eagled-eyed amongst you, it's the ribbed silver can on the right of the speaker control)

    You see - we DO have decent taste.

    And how nosey of CyberPete perusing the contents of our shelves!

  8. Well I had to look somewhere and your feet aren't much to look at

  9. MJ's quiet today!

    *silence is golden and bliss*

  10. Yes that's lovely

    What's that thing next to your right foot in front of the remote?

  11. It's a subsonic particle smasher, of course.

    Actually, I can't remember. That pic was taken at least a year ago and we've moved everything since then and replaced them with equally useless rubbish.

  12. AWA: The words “look at his horribly misshapen trotters” should have been warning enough.

    PIGGY: Who sent you pics?? Was it that Irish cunt?

    *plots revenge*

    You can’t have “MJ Monday” as it’s “Carly Week” all week long, isn’t it?

    CYBERPUKE: That’s not Jean Paul Gaultier. It’s a tin of dog food that Piggy snacks on when he’s peckish.

    IVD: At least he’s not wearing your bowling shoes.

    KAZ: *wonders why Kaz is paying me a compliment*

    Oh I just remembered we’re the same shoe size. You want my blue Docs, don’t you?

    PIGGY: Useless rubbish on your desk now? Surely you’re not referring to Teddy Canuck Stan?!

    Last time I send you a pressie, if so.

  13. There is only one solution to this hideousness.


    With a chain saw.

  14. Hear, hear, Garfer.

    Although it already looks like someone's had a go at his 'toes', if that is indeed what they are/were.

  15. Garfy ~ Without anaesthesia of course.

  16. *thinks MJ's going to be ever so slightly stunned at who sent the pics - and at what they are!*

    Nope. Not SID, by the way.

    Clue: Someone a bit closer to home (yours, not ours)


  17. * on edge of seat with anticipation of MJ pics *

  18. GARFY, IVD & SID: What’s to amputate?

    Aren’t those things at the end of his legs stumps as it is?

    How does he get around hobbling on those stumps?

    Do you suppose he “Piggy”-backs on Tazzy?

    PIGGY: Nobody else has pics of me.


    IVD: Let’s not forget we have a pic of you as the Turd Burglar that some readers may have missed the first time round.

    *anticipates nervous laughter from Miss Prissy*

  19. *The money I could make*


  20. MJ - Oh yes they do! As do we now!

    You'll see.

    As will everyone else.

    Slightly doctored, of course, but I'm quite sure you'll recognise them (we're going to cut your head off, but will be leaving a fair amount of the originals intact).

    We're also quite certain you'll be straight on to the phone to your (ex) friend (who, I gather, will be expecting the call!).

    Tee hee hee hee hee hee HEEEEE!

    Clue 2: The sender of the pics is NOT a blogger!

  21. SID - The money WE could make now!

    Shall we start the bidding for the originals (including the bonce)?

  22. I would say a 9. A little thick but the toes look straight.(Positive sign). Now if we only get him to put some polish on them and hide the hideous it might not be bad! Ever go tanning??

  23. Yes Mytoes he does go to the tanners,the horse tanners.

  24. SID: Don't even think about it.

    *withholds SID's special privileges*

    PIGGY: Friend who's not a blogger?

    OH SHIT!

    What's a bonce?

    MYTOES: Nothing about Piggy is straight.

    SID: The tanners AND the farriers.

  25. 'Bonce' = head

    The one sat on top of shoulders.

    Oh I see you're suddenly paying attention at the realisation it's not a blogger.

    *rubs hands*

    Awaits the fallout.

  26. PIGGY: You'd forgotten you'd sent this trotter pic to me whilst in a drunken stupor, didn't you?

    *avoids mentioning other revealing pics sent to me that same time*

    *plots revenge following fallout*

  27. *didn't have any other pics to send*

    *plots further 'situations' with the MJ pics*

  28. PIGGY: What? I can't hear you.

    And oh I think you WILL find you sent other pics.

    And don't bother emailing me pleading me to delete them as I'm off for the evening and won't be checking my mail.

    Ta' ra!

  29. She'll be back later, drunk as usual. Minge dripping toxic sludge.

  30. MUTLEY: Has he asked you to lick them?

    PIGGY: I've sobered up.

    And my minge is a garden of earthly delights, I'll have you know.

  31. Garden of earthly delights = slugs, snails, worms and pigeon shit.

  32. PIGGY: Slugs, snails, worms and pigeon shit?

    I'm told that's how it is in Yorkshire but mine is ambrosia.

  33. Oh, you evil cunt. I'd forgotten all about these pics.

    Thankfully, we all know that people either (a) never click links, or (b) look at old posts.


  34. PIGGY: Then maybe it's time I reposted this.