She couldn’t make up her mind between the “Bad Hotel” or the “Pink Hotel” but fortunately, Hayward came up with a solution…
“Buy both of them. Of course you'll need a bevy of new employees to keep things clean.”
That’s where you bitches come in.
The Infomaniac Inn is now hiring.
Submit your résumé today.
YAY FIRST!
ReplyDeletemago - youre supposed to SAY something OTHER than 1st.....
ReplyDeleteI continue my desire to be number one slave boy AND house boy who attends to Mistress' PERSONAL areas PERSONALLY......
MAGO: YAY FIRST!
ReplyDeleteDespite what Damien says, your comment shows an eagerness to work.
DAMIEN: mago - youre supposed to SAY something OTHER than 1st.....
I continue my desire to be number one slave boy AND house boy who attends to Mistress' PERSONAL areas PERSONALLY......
You forgot to place a single chaste kiss on each of Mistress' feet as is proper.
Time to get out the french maids outfit and fishnets again...
ReplyDeleteNow where did I leave those feathers?...
Oh... Here they are
ReplyDeleteWill the uniforms be circa Greece Olivia Newton John in the black spandex!? If so, I am totally in! (Though the photo suggests it will be very much the same outfit, indeed!)
ReplyDeleteWhere shall I slide my résumé~? Into the slot marked "Important"?
PRINCESS: Time to get out the french maids outfit and fishnets again...
ReplyDeleteNow where did I leave those feathers?...
Oh... Here they are
That link requires signing up so everybody try this link instead to see the dancing boys.
MANDA: Will the uniforms be circa Greece Olivia Newton John in the black spandex!? If so, I am totally in! (Though the photo suggests it will be very much the same outfit, indeed!)
Where shall I slide my résumé~? Into the slot marked "Important"?
Into the slot marked “urgent”.
As for the uniforms, I found this gold spandex over at Kevin’s (The Lisp) place.
Do I get a company car?
ReplyDeleteGood morning MJ,
ReplyDeleteAll take accountant. You just give me all the money, I'll take care the rest.
Just to let you know that I am still monitoring your inane filth.
ReplyDeleteMean Dirty Pirate
ReplyDelete_______________
Hotel Hooker / Motel Madame:
I propose running a prostitution ring out of both properties. Newly acquired House Boys must prove themselves and work their way up the ladder of success starting off as Infomaniac, “Good Time Girl Bellhops.”
It fills three positions all at once and under my tutelage, minus my cut, they’ll produce profit necessary to insure the continuing operation of Infomaniac Enterprises.
Also would it be possible to relocate the Brothels to the foot hills of Infomaniac Mansion? Like in the movie Psycho. It’ll provide those certain guests with special appetites the opportunity to exercise their killer instinct and stalking skills.
XL: Do I get a company car?
ReplyDeleteYou may act as chauffeur of the MistressMobile.
KARL: Good morning MJ,
All take accountant. You just give me all the money, I'll take care the rest.
Since we maxed out our credit card on the luxury toilet for Infomaniac headquarters, we have nothing left in the counting house for you to count.
VICUS: Just to let you know that I am still monitoring your inane filth.
I have yet to provide you with “some nice articles about keeping your house clean, or some recipes, or some moderate political comment”.
AYEM8Y: Mean Dirty Pirate
_______________
Hotel Hooker / Motel Madame:
I propose running a prostitution ring out of both properties. Newly acquired House Boys must prove themselves and work their way up the ladder of success starting off as Infomaniac, “Good Time Girl Bellhops.”
It fills three positions all at once and under my tutelage, minus my cut, they’ll produce profit necessary to insure the continuing operation of Infomaniac Enterprises.
Also would it be possible to relocate the Brothels to the foot hills of Infomaniac Mansion? Like in the movie Psycho. It’ll provide those certain guests with special appetites the opportunity to exercise their killer instinct and stalking skills.
I’m hiring you on the spot and implementing all your suggestions.
I’m assuming you’ve already left calling cards in your usual truck stops?
Or are we looking for a different class of clientele?
What do you mean by, “CLASS”?
ReplyDeleteA John’s a John.
Just need cash up front and if it’s not too much trouble have a Truck Stop parking lot installed.
The House Boys can provide in-Truck Cab Services. I’ll outfit them with roller skates and chaps uniforms for faster easier access.
AYEM8Y: What do you mean by, “CLASS”?
ReplyDeleteA John’s a John.
Just need cash up front and if it’s not too much trouble have a Truck Stop parking lot installed.
The House Boys can provide in-Truck Cab Services. I’ll outfit them with roller skates and chaps uniforms for faster easier access.
I found the perfect roller skates!
NICE!
ReplyDeleteChic and functional,
I particularly like the high heel swivel caster on a gold patent leather pump.
I'll be receptionist. It's what I do best. Meet and greet, make sure our 'guests' will be comfortable during their stay. If not, that they get charged extra.
ReplyDeleteAt least it means my mornings can start later...like the afternoons.
well, i can turn down a bed, the volume and a proposition. oh, i guess #3 wouldn't be happening...at your inn.
ReplyDeleteNorma should be Head House Boy Hooker Bell Hop #1.
ReplyDeleteMy CV?
ReplyDeleteI'm very good at polishing wood. All kinds - hardwoods, dark woods, light woods, Ralph Woods and Tiger Woods.
I'd be honoured to be on the cleaning staff at the MJ Towers.
What? No I don't want a job, I just want to be...on the staff.
Will your establishment have those vibrating beds? The ones that only cost a quarter?
ReplyDeleteAYEM8Y: NICE!
ReplyDeleteChic and functional,
I particularly like the high heel swivel caster on a gold patent leather pump.
*cranks up Boogie Wonderland and twirls off*
ROSES: I'll be receptionist. It's what I do best. Meet and greet, make sure our 'guests' will be comfortable during their stay. If not, that they get charged extra.
At least it means my mornings can start later...like the afternoons.
Could you start by arranging for XL to fluff the pillows?
NORMADESMOND: well, i can turn down a bed, the volume and a proposition. oh, i guess #3 wouldn't be happening...at your inn.
See comment below you from AyeM8y.
AYEM8Y: Norma should be Head House Boy Hooker Bell Hop #1.
That’s a mouthful.
*leaves that one open for interpretation*
KAPI: My CV?
I'm very good at polishing wood. All kinds - hardwoods, dark woods, light woods, Ralph Woods and Tiger Woods.
I'd be honoured to be on the cleaning staff at the MJ Towers.
What? No I don't want a job, I just want to be...on the staff.
Ed Wood?
KELLY RED: Will your establishment have those vibrating beds? The ones that only cost a quarter?
The Magic Fingers Vibrating Bed?
No cheap motel would be complete without one!
Of course, I don't do any type of manual labor, but I'm no stranger to the motel lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteThere are, no doubt, a few folks who were unaware that there is a "motel lifestyle" - well, there is, I'm in it, that's all you need to know.
I'll do the accounts. Which package do you use?
ReplyDeleteI'll be at the bar. You need someone to entertain your guests at the bar.
ReplyDeleteDon't you mean 'whose package' Geoff?
ReplyDeleteI can't decide whether I'd like to be the Pool Boy or the Mint-on-Pillows Placer.
As you know, I'm an excellent swimmer what with all that practice down at the docks, plus I'm an expert at the Kiss-of-Life. Well, the kiss, anyway...
As for the M-o-P Placer, it would be a bit of a come-down for a witch proficient in making entire houses out of sweets and cookies etc, but for you MJ, I'd do it.
The Pink one. It has its own Fairy.
ReplyDeleteROXY: Of course, I don't do any type of manual labor, but I'm no stranger to the motel lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteThere are, no doubt, a few folks who were unaware that there is a "motel lifestyle" - well, there is, I'm in it, that's all you need to know.
Cable and a kitchenette.
What more could a girl ask for?
GEOFF: I'll do the accounts. Which package do you use?
See comment from IVD.
Did you ever see that episode of Black Books where Bernard avoids doing his accounts?
That’s the package I use.
CYBERPOOF: I'll be at the bar. You need someone to entertain your guests at the bar.
Can you stand up that long in your Louboutins?
IVD: Don't you mean 'whose package' Geoff?
I can't decide whether I'd like to be the Pool Boy or the Mint-on-Pillows Placer.
As you know, I'm an excellent swimmer what with all that practice down at the docks, plus I'm an expert at the Kiss-of-Life. Well, the kiss, anyway...
As for the M-o-P Placer, it would be a bit of a come-down for a witch proficient in making entire houses out of sweets and cookies etc, but for you MJ, I'd do it.
Why don’t you just lounge about in your leopard print
bikini, looking comely, (and affordable) as usual?
MISS JANEY: The Pink one. It has its own Fairy.
Yay! Someone finally mentioned the fairy!
A free fairy with every room booking!
thanks aye, but i think i need to follow kap around for a while, get the lay of the land.
ReplyDeleteNORMA: thanks aye, but i think i need to follow kap around for a while, get the lay of the land.
ReplyDeleteStart polishing.
i am an experienced valet...
ReplyDeleteactually famous for hanging around diverse hotel lounges' men's rooms, offering cigarettes, breath mints, and towels, (amongst other things) for a couple of quarters or a stiff drink....
I'll act as concierge, pointing the way to the best local truck stop restrooms, for a small fee of course.
ReplyDeleteIf there aren't bar chairs, I'll just have to sit daintily on the bar
ReplyDeleteWALLY: Welcome to Infomaniac!
ReplyDeleteYour visit here today entitles you to one free shampoo and blow at The Hair Hall of Fame.
i am an experienced valet...
actually famous for hanging around diverse hotel lounges' men's rooms, offering cigarettes, breath mints, and towels, (amongst other things) for a couple of quarters or a stiff drink....
A stiff one…coming right up.
JASON: I'll act as concierge, pointing the way to the best local truck stop restrooms, for a small fee of course.
Truck stops?
Are you working in tandem with AyeM8y?
CYBERPOOF: If there aren't bar chairs, I'll just have to sit daintily on the bar
We’ll assume you’re a bar fly, in that case.
You'll need a maintenance man for working on the pipes. I have a tool belt and jump suit laying around here somewhere.
ReplyDeleteHAYWARD: You'll need a maintenance man for working on the pipes. I have a tool belt and jump suit laying around here somewhere.
ReplyDeleteWe’ve always suspected you’re good with hand tools.
I would like to be Noele Gordon aka Meg Mortimar from Crossroads behind the reception desk, looking snooty, but I see Roses has secured that position.
ReplyDeleteTip for future guests staying at MJ's Motel.
Don't steal the towels, dressing gowns and bedding from the hotel room. Take advantage of Princess's trolley in the corridor, preferably when the hoover is on, that way your crime will go undetected. Plates and cutlery can be hoisted from trays left outside other rooms, wash them in the bath.
Bar fly it is then.
ReplyDeleteIf you need a little Coyote Ugly action, I may be persuaded if the money's good
MITZI: I would like to be Noele Gordon aka Meg Mortimar from Crossroads behind the reception desk, looking snooty, but I see Roses has secured that position.
ReplyDeleteTip for future guests staying at MJ's Motel.
Don't steal the towels, dressing gowns and bedding from the hotel room. Take advantage of Princess's trolley in the corridor, preferably when the hoover is on, that way your crime will go undetected. Plates and cutlery can be hoisted from trays left outside other rooms, wash them in the bath.
Princess is so busy picking up used condoms out of the shag carpeting that she’ll never notice.
CYBERPOOF: Bar fly it is then.
If you need a little Coyote Ugly action, I may be persuaded if the money's good
I’m not sure the world is ready to see you in a wet t-shirt.
I'm here to apply for the job of flicking the "NO" on the Vacancy sign on and off.
ReplyDeleteCOOKIE: I'm here to apply for the job of flicking the "NO" on the Vacancy sign on and off.
ReplyDeleteYour sign says no but your eyes say yes.